quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Depends on what the issues are, and their severity. I've heard of some people with untreated bipolar that cannot function. Paranoia, delusion. I've known some with DID/MPD that were borderline functional. Then I know some who have depression, and it reduces their energy some a few days per month, and others who have depression to the point where they cannot function.

This would be the highlight reel of those I would think at least should be "lifestyle sidelined" for a while. An unmedicated delusional bi-polar in my opinion has no business near tools of the trade or potential victims.

Eta spelling f'n blackberry

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nelee

This is one of the things I'm very conflicted with... I'm so used to "keeping things to myself" that I'm not sure what is alright to divulge, and what is not. Of course I should, "Tell them everything!". But the way I WANT to see it is that obvious things should definitely be told, but if it's something that I'm able to keep under control, then there isn't a reason to let them know because it isn't an issue. I know that's terribly dishonest, and I'm not saying that it's right. But it's something that I'm constantly conflicted with.

I should perhaps start taking better care of myself and thinking of what I can do to keep better care of myself in the future more often.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nelee

quote:

ORIGINAL: SacredDepravity

Yes, mental illness makes so many things potential minefields that otherwise would not be. I think it is fair for a person to know what they are signing up for in the fairly early going. You are so much more than your diagnosis and you deserve to be seen for all that you are first. At the same time, this is a hard thing to deal with and it is only fair to allow a potential new partner to evaluate things for themselves before too much is invested. While you are talking about this, make sure you are able to show all the hard work you have already put into being healthy, what you are doing now, and what your plans are in the future. It is a show of good faith that your choice is to be as healthy as possible. If you haven't sought help yet, do so now. If you aren't getting adequate help, start looking for a new caretaker now. If you are stable and doing well, faithfully keep at it.

I wish you the best in this. It is a hard thing. Please feel free to pm if you need anything. Take care!

SD

...but if it's something that I'm able to keep under control, then there isn't a reason to let them know because it isn't an issue...

I should perhaps start taking better care of myself and thinking of what I can do to keep better care of myself in the future more often.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SacredDepravity

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nelee

quote:

ORIGINAL: SacredDepravity

Yes, mental illness makes so many things potential minefields that otherwise would not be. I think it is fair for a person to know what they are signing up for in the fairly early going. You are so much more than your diagnosis and you deserve to be seen for all that you are first. At the same time, this is a hard thing to deal with and it is only fair to allow a potential new partner to evaluate things for themselves before too much is invested. While you are talking about this, make sure you are able to show all the hard work you have already put into being healthy, what you are doing now, and what your plans are in the future. It is a show of good faith that your choice is to be as healthy as possible. If you haven't sought help yet, do so now. If you aren't getting adequate help, start looking for a new caretaker now. If you are stable and doing well, faithfully keep at it.

I wish you the best in this. It is a hard thing. Please feel free to pm if you need anything. Take care!

SD

...but if it's something that I'm able to keep under control, then there isn't a reason to let them know because it isn't an issue...

I should perhaps start taking better care of myself and thinking of what I can do to keep better care of myself in the future more often.

I wanted to take a minute to address the first part of the quote as I edited it. I had some people very close to me in my life who dealt with very real, serious mental illness. Some things were well controlled on their treatment plan while others were more consistently in need of constant attention. Those in need of constant attention, sure, those, need to be the first things you mention with regard to your condition because they will have more immediate and cumulative effects on your relationship, but the rest still needs addressing at some point. My experience has been that controlled portions of a mental illness, just like many other illnesses can resurface or become resistant to current treatment. While they are not an issue right now, they can become one at any given time. Your partner deserves to know the WHOLE truth. It's hard, but it's fair.

I am glad to hear you are taking better care of yourself. You are worth caring for too. Eat, sleep, keep stress in check, and get some good exercise and sunlight every single day. It helps everything.

SD

quote:

The thing I'm worried about is even now, there are some "hang ups" I have subconsciously that don't show up until I'm in a certain situation. I feel that it's unfair that my partner has to deal with that simply because I have these issues.

quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

Nelee tryptophan (the sleepy stuff in turkey) is a depressant. I've recently been goinng through tons of tests learning to un-do the damage malabsorption has done to my body. Nothing like discovering every meal for my entire life has been what made me tired & sick.
While I understand "family programming" following moms bad idea has turned your life to a point that you could die!! You do realize death from malnutrition happens even at major universities? This sacrifice yourself for others thing COULD KILL YOU!! What help are you to family, their bills or their needs then?
I'm going with tell the school therapist the whole truth..the not eating, the why & ALL of families issues. The weight of providing for everyone else while going to school is killing you!

quote:

ORIGINAL: SacredDepravity

My experience has been that controlled portions of a mental illness, just like many other illnesses can resurface or become resistant to current treatment. While they are not an issue right now, they can become one at any given time. Your partner deserves to know the WHOLE truth. It's hard, but it's fair.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

The thing I'm worried about is even now, there are some "hang ups" I have subconsciously that don't show up until I'm in a certain situation. I feel that it's unfair that my partner has to deal with that simply because I have these issues.

I'm going to give you lots of concrete examples so perhaps you can turn your concept into specifics.

I give potential partners lots of information starting with "I have chemical sensitivities; please do not wear cologne" before our first date. Before the first time we have sex, I let them know that I do not orgasm from penis/vagina intercourse and that my last few scenes ended badly because they did not pay attention when I yellowed.

Say, for example, things like being slapped in the face trigger you in an unhealthy manner - it's your responsibility to let your partner know this ahead of time. If you discover new triggers every time you play, let them know this too. If you tend to cry, let them know this and not to take this personally.

Also discuss aftercare - I tell them ahead of time I'll be wanting to cuddle. I get dehydrated and hungry, so bring Vitamin Water, nuts, and chocolate. Sometimes I get cold, so I bring layers.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nelee

I don't eat meat anyway. I can't digest it very well, so I didn't go near it. Honestly, all I ate over thanksgiving was dressing... That's the only thing that I eat, other than vegetables.

quote:

ORIGINAL: descrite

If you've never had someone try to off themselves following sex with you, let me say that it's kind of flattering.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SacredDepravity

Wow! That was some truly special advice.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
Kiddo, you need to have all of us kinksters adopt you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: descrite

Well done. You should be proud.

quote:

ORIGINAL: descrite

I met this sub on That Other Site, and we clicked. Lots of messaging, LOTS of phone calls, then a vanilla dinner-date. It was very cool. We really hit it off.

We met for a play date. We played. We fucked. It was terrific.

I called to thank her the next day, and got her voicemail. I left a message. I sent her an email. I didn't get any kind of response for several days. I left a couple voicemails over the next week, and a few emails.

It tapered off.

A couple weeks later, just 'cause, I sent her a text. I got one back, and then replied again, asking if she was free to talk. She called.

She was in a mental facility, drying out and recovering from a suicide attempt she had made the day following our tryst.

If you've never had someone try to off themselves following sex with you, let me say that it's kind of flattering.

And really, really disturbing.

You want creepy? It wasn't so disturbing I didn't try to reconnect with her, after she got out.

Ahem.

A few truisms:

- Men are pigs.

- Crazy will fuck you good. And crazy will fuck you, good.

- A good lay has the keys to the kingdom.

- A psycho chick could paint her belly that orange color Nature uses to warn creatures of toxic salamanders...and men would still line up to see her tits. See Point the First.


OP, don't stress it. By age 17, every straight man has figured out that it's not a matter of Is She Crazy?, but that it's a matter of How Crazy Is She? and How Does It Manifest Itself? and Can I Live With That?

There is someone who really, really wants your brand of crazy. You have the cyberwebnets: you can find them. And even if that person is one in a million...there are six fucking billion people on this planet: that means that there are a thousand others just like 'em.