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RE: Mental issues... Suitable for the BDSM lifestyle? - 11/27/2012 2:21:21 PM

kalikshama

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quote:

OP, don't stress it. By age 17, every straight man has figured out that it's not a matter of Is She Crazy?, but that it's a matter of How Crazy Is She? and How Does It Manifest Itself? and Can I Live With That?

Since the OP is a lesbian...

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RE: Mental issues... Suitable for the BDSM lifestyle? - 11/27/2012 2:26:04 PM

kalikshama

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quote:

If you've never had someone try to off themselves following sex with you, let me say that it's kind of flattering.

And really, really disturbing.

Are there details you have left out that would explain why you thought this was flattering? (Or had anything to do with you in the least?)

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RE: Mental issues... Suitable for the BDSM lifestyle? - 11/27/2012 7:21:59 PM

descrite

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quote:

Did you follow up to see if she was ok?

I did, and continue to, try. No joy.

quote:

So descrite would you say sex with you causes insanity or is it that absence of your penis that causes suicide attempts?? Inquiring minds want to know

Good golly, I'm hoping it's the latter. Which is why, to answer the next question, it might be taken as flattering, as opposed to strictly horrifying.

quote:

Are there details you have left out that would explain why you thought this was flattering? (Or had anything to do with you in the least?)

Well, Sweet Jeebus: it's not everyday I have a sexual encounter that involves world-shaking sex and BDSM with a new partner-- so it's kinda tough not to read some cause-and-effect into it. For the worse or better, I know not.

Maybe that happens to you more frequently. Or her. But it's novelty enough for me that I connected the dots.

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RE: Mental issues... Suitable for the BDSM lifestyle? - 11/27/2012 7:35:43 PM

RemoteUser

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quote:

ORIGINAL: descrite

quote:

Did you follow up to see if she was ok?

I did, and continue to, try. No joy.

Just to clarify: you hooked up with her again, but never discovered any indication why she was suicidal...?

I could be reading it wrong. I really hope I am, and am concerned I'm not.

< Message edited by RemoteUser -- 11/27/2012 7:36:18 PM >

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RE: Mental issues... Suitable for the BDSM lifestyle? - 11/27/2012 7:37:31 PM

littlewonder

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repeats to herself......don't say it....don't say it....be nice.....be nice.......

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RE: Mental issues... Suitable for the BDSM lifestyle? - 11/27/2012 8:36:07 PM

descrite

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quote:

Just to clarify: you hooked up with her again

Nope. Sorry if it came across that way.

But I would. And yes, finding out why would be an important component thereof.

Still and all: if heterosexual men were to make a rule of not sticking their dicks in crazy, the species would expire.

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RE: Mental issues... Suitable for the BDSM lifestyle? - 11/27/2012 9:14:40 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Nelee
Does anyone else have any thoughts on this? I don't even know what I'm looking for, exactly. Just discussion, I suppose. If this has already been touched on before, then I apologize and I'll go and look through there.

I think there are varying levels and intensities of mental illness as well as various kinds. I'm a Domme. AND I'm bipolar w/ anxiety issues. MEDICATED bipolar w/ anxiety issues. Before I was diagnosed and put on meds, I was a basket case. Now that I'm on the proper meds, I feel great and my shit's a LOT more together.

Most people wouldn't even know that I'm bipolar. And before I enter a dynamic with someone, during the getting to know you phase, I always tell him I'm bipolar so he can make an informed decision whether he wants to get involved with me or not.

No matter what, anything that affects one person in a relationship is going to affect them both/all. That's just the way it is. About all you can do is let the other person/people know the whole truth before actually getting involved. I don't think, however, that being mentally ill automatically makes a person unfit for the lifestyle. If I did, I wouldn't be here.

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RE: Mental issues... Suitable for the BDSM lifestyle? - 11/28/2012 2:26:41 PM

Nelee

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Um... That was very nice of you, Decrite, but I am not sure how to take your story... It didn't really make me feel any better... It just kind of made me feel sad... That poor woman...
I'm not sure how to feel about that entire thing...

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RE: Mental issues... Suitable for the BDSM lifestyle? - 11/28/2012 3:02:57 PM

DesFIP

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Nelee

I've been avoiding the idea of counseling, but I don't think I have a choice at this point. Because avoiding it is only feeding my pride and my fear, and it's not worth it.

You're looking in the wrong end of the telescope. Going to therapy, having the courage to confront your own demons, ripping the scabs off and cleaning out those suppurating wounds is something that you will deservedly be proud of. Because this is the hardest work you may ever do. Work that some people will never have the courage and strength to do.

Btw, my oldest is bipolar, severe anxiety and right now as we head toward winter, suffering from depression. She's eating a lot of scrambled eggs because they're cheap and easy. She's also in a relationship. When she's down, she offers him a free out. So far he hasn't taken it.

In addition to eating, you need to work out. Endorphin release which will carry you through till the next day.

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RE: Mental issues... Suitable for the BDSM lifestyle? - 11/28/2012 5:38:20 PM

kalikshama

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quote:

That was very nice of you, Decrite, but I am not sure how to take your story...

Join the club :)

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RE: Mental issues... Suitable for the BDSM lifestyle? - 11/28/2012 5:43:58 PM

littlewonder

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I know how I take it but I'm trying to be nice for the holiday season.

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RE: Mental issues... Suitable for the BDSM lifestyle? - 11/28/2012 5:52:26 PM

DesFIP

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I actually am having a hard time swallowing descrite's story. I've been suicidal a couple of times in my life, and my sex drive disappeared long before the depression turned into suicidal ideation.

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RE: Mental issues... Suitable for the BDSM lifestyle? - 11/28/2012 5:56:19 PM

kalikshama

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There was also substance abuse involved:

quote:

She was in a mental facility, drying out and recovering from a suicide attempt she had made the day following our tryst.

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RE: Mental issues... Suitable for the BDSM lifestyle? - 11/28/2012 6:00:19 PM

DesFIP

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Ah, so he was drunk and picked up another drunk. Hardly flattering to either of them.

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RE: Mental issues... Suitable for the BDSM lifestyle? - 11/28/2012 6:15:41 PM

kalikshama

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I think that conclusion is premature...

I was thinking of friends of mine who made suicidal gestures while under the influence but had no suicidal ideation when sober.

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RE: Mental issues... Suitable for the BDSM lifestyle? - 11/28/2012 7:56:04 PM

theRose4U

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Nelee

Um... That was very nice of you, Decrite, but I am not sure how to take your story... It didn't really make me feel any better... It just kind of made me feel sad... That poor woman...
I'm not sure how to feel about that entire thing...

I would file it under avoid his penis...then go eat something!

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RE: Mental issues... Suitable for the BDSM lifestyle? - 11/28/2012 10:41:42 PM

Nelee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nelee

I've been avoiding the idea of counseling, but I don't think I have a choice at this point. Because avoiding it is only feeding my pride and my fear, and it's not worth it.

You're looking in the wrong end of the telescope. Going to therapy, having the courage to confront your own demons, ripping the scabs off and cleaning out those suppurating wounds is something that you will deservedly be proud of. Because this is the hardest work you may ever do. Work that some people will never have the courage and strength to do.

Btw, my oldest is bipolar, severe anxiety and right now as we head toward winter, suffering from depression. She's eating a lot of scrambled eggs because they're cheap and easy. She's also in a relationship. When she's down, she offers him a free out. So far he hasn't taken it.

In addition to eating, you need to work out. Endorphin release which will carry you through till the next day.

I'll try and find a good source of protein. And eggs are pretty nutritious and cheap... That would work...
I usually work out a lot, I just haven't had the energy to work out as much recently. I have a history of over-exercising, so I was told to tamper down with my caloric intake lowering. Now I'm just tired all the time and I don't have the energy I had when I was eating less. I think my body needs to repair, or something. But when I get my energy back, I'm definitely hitting the gym. My gains have fallen sooo much. I'm so weak now, it's disgusting. And my thighs got bigger. Which is really depressing.

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RE: Mental issues... Suitable for the BDSM lifestyle? - 11/28/2012 10:42:50 PM

Nelee

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Yes ma'm! No worries, I've been keeping myself pretty healthy this week! :) Well, comparatively, anyway, hehe.

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RE: Mental issues... Suitable for the BDSM lifestyle? - 11/28/2012 11:25:45 PM

metamorfosis

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quote:

ORIGINAL: descrite
...you have offered a post that is in no way personal, and both contributes to the overall discussion while sharing something of your own experience and insight;

Ironically, the same could be said about that.

quote:

...it is a shining example of why this board is so completely free of groupthink and insular singlemindedness, and welcoming to all voices and perspectives.

What strikes me is that you sometimes seem to go out of your way to provoke, only to turn around and blame others for reacting.

Pam

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RE: Mental issues... Suitable for the BDSM lifestyle? - 11/28/2012 11:55:14 PM

metamorfosis

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Nelee
I have a few of my own issues that I deal with (mental and otherwise), and oftentimes, it makes me feel like I shouldn't be in this type of lifestyle... It's almost like... Like I don't feel qualified, or I feel "too fucked up" to be doing this.

Then you probably are... for now. Work on your own issues first, then you'll have more to bring to the table.

And, no, I don't think mental issues preclude you from participating in BDSM, provided that you have them under control.

Pam

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