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RE: Mental issues... Suitable for the BDSM lifestyle? - 11/28/2012 11:59:41 PM

ChatteParfaitt

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

quote:

ORIGINAL: descrite

I met this sub on That Other Site, and we clicked. Lots of messaging, LOTS of phone calls, then a vanilla dinner-date. It was very cool. We really hit it off.

We met for a play date. We played. We fucked. It was terrific.

I called to thank her the next day, and got her voicemail. I left a message. I sent her an email. I didn't get any kind of response for several days. I left a couple voicemails over the next week, and a few emails.

It tapered off.

A couple weeks later, just 'cause, I sent her a text. I got one back, and then replied again, asking if she was free to talk. She called.

She was in a mental facility, drying out and recovering from a suicide attempt she had made the day following our tryst.

If you've never had someone try to off themselves following sex with you, let me say that it's kind of flattering.

And really, really disturbing.

You want creepy? It wasn't so disturbing I didn't try to reconnect with her, after she got out.

Ahem.

A few truisms:

- Men are pigs.

- Crazy will fuck you good. And crazy will fuck you, good.

- A good lay has the keys to the kingdom.

- A psycho chick could paint her belly that orange color Nature uses to warn creatures of toxic salamanders...and men would still line up to see her tits. See Point the First.

OP, don't stress it. By age 17, every straight man has figured out that it's not a matter of Is She Crazy?, but that it's a matter of How Crazy Is She? and How Does It Manifest Itself? and Can I Live With That?

There is someone who really, really wants your brand of crazy. You have the cyberwebnets: you can find them. And even if that person is one in a million...there are six fucking billion people on this planet: that means that there are a thousand others just like 'em.

I'm actually kinda speechless.

Though I am left wondering how in the world someone could take their partner attempting to off themselves post coitus as flattering.
Not to mention trying to hook back up with her when she hit the streets again.
At least I'm not wondering one thing, cuz out of the two of ya, I damn well know who's the crazier

Thank you Kana, I so agree, well except about the speechless part. There's much I *could* say, but it would derail Nelee's thread even further.

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RE: Mental issues... Suitable for the BDSM lifestyle? - 11/29/2012 12:17:01 AM

descrite

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quote:

Ironically, the same could be said about that.

So...I realize you understand the first word of your sentence. Yet, somehow, you think I don't.

quote:

What strikes me is that you sometimes seem to go out of your way to provoke, only to turn around and blame others for reacting.

I am really glad others react. That's kind of what nonlinear communication is for. I would prefer if they did so in a reasonable, objective manner, or even if they offered insight or original contribution, rather than reacting in a personal manner, though.

Because, honestly, which do you dig, as a reader-- "Great, you were personally offended by something on the Internet. Thanks for informing us."

vs.

"Okay, you've brought new perspective and fresh ideas to the conversation, even if in a provocative manner."

If I were a publisher, I know what I would rather have in my content.

[Spoiler: it wouldn't be the textual circle-jerk many message boards devolve into once a core group of users becomes entrenched and develop a sense of entitlement to their hivemind. Pick-a-little, cheep-cheep-cheep commentary is the 'net equivalent of the odious 'bromaticism, "That's what SHE said!" It adds nothing of value to anything, ever. Seriously, it's the electronic form of standing in the conference room, making snide judgments about someone based on his request for pizza toppings, while the rest of us are just trying to phone in the goddam order. You're not helping.]

OP, sorry for the threadjack. Also: peanuts are very cheap, and a great form of protein. That includes peanut butter, which can be added to just about anything in a complementary fashion. Including celery. Or, if you're into it, fish paste with rice sustains a lot of Asians who would otherwise perish or drop below sustenance energy/capability levels.

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RE: Mental issues... Suitable for the BDSM lifestyle? - 11/29/2012 12:30:37 AM

Nelee

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Nono, it's alright! I've gotten great advice that I'm already finding ways to take advantage of, so threadjack away! I mean, you guys gave me really good advice, and were quite kind about it as well, so I'm not offended or anything.

And peanut butter, I tried, but it's consistency is a bit too... icky? Haha, it just feels weird, so I tend to avoid eating it. Thank you, though :)

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RE: Mental issues... Suitable for the BDSM lifestyle? - 11/29/2012 1:31:05 AM

littlewonder

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Here's my thoughts on this site and any other forum online.

I would get more personal about my thoughts but I would get banned and then I'd lose all my entertainment for awhile.

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RE: Mental issues... Suitable for the BDSM lifestyle? - 11/29/2012 4:13:18 AM

chatterbox24

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Sweet Nelee, and I do mean that. Just as sweet as you can be.

I am going to derail your thread for an additional moment. Excuse my bat shit crazy , it can't be helped sometimes.

A suicidal attempt is flattering? Really?????? I mean for real........really?????

My God man, I do hope this was said out for shock value, and if it was, it worked.

Examine the head about that, I mean truly truly do that.

My own crazy mind tries to twist that in all kinds of ways to make that sound sane, or remotely understandable to me. Didnt work, thats a thought process that I cant twist into an understanding I even want. Whoops that is personal, shoot me. No no, plz dont, I dont want anyone flattered by this.

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RE: Mental issues... Suitable for the BDSM lifestyle? - 11/29/2012 9:19:06 AM

RemoteUser

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quote:

ORIGINAL: descrite

"Okay, you've brought new perspective and fresh ideas to the conversation, even if in a provocative manner."

I've always promoted new thought and different perspectives. I'm not the majority (unless the zombie apocalypse started without me) and won't presume for them. I would, however, make the following personal notes:

- your post didn't offer a perspective for/from the "crazy" in question, so it didn't comment directly to the initial post
- your personal commentary (don't stress it; someone...wants your brand of crazy) marginalizes the concerns of the OP; marginalizing emotive stress catalyzed from a mental issue tends to exacerbate rather than soothe

It does matter on the mental issue, but anyone who perceives a strong feeling believes in it regardless of validity. While you don't want to validate, you can't downplay it either without triggering an ego issue that turns to anger or self doubt. That's why counsellors ask you how you feel about that. Help the person think it out without imposing a marginal bias and the situation deflates faster, and healthier.

This isn't meant as criticism, so hopefully it isn't taken that way. This is meant to give you a different angle to view your own words from, to help you better communicate your intent. (I need that kind of check myself, from time to time.)

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RE: Mental issues... Suitable for the BDSM lifestyle? - 11/29/2012 9:50:39 AM

JeffBC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana
At least I'm not wondering one thing, cuz out of the two of ya, I damn well know who's the crazier

No freakin joke! Matter of fact it'd be hard for me to put me finger on which of the many disturbing things in that post is the most bat-shit crazy. I think he ought to hook up with that confused girl in the other thread... far, far away from me.

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RE: Mental issues... Suitable for the BDSM lifestyle? - 11/29/2012 6:05:43 PM

descrite

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quote:

- your post didn't offer a perspective for/from the "crazy" in question, so it didn't comment directly to the initial post

I have also never taken heroin, but I feel comfortable recommending against it.

quote:

- your personal commentary (don't stress it; someone...wants your brand of crazy) marginalizes the concerns of the OP; marginalizing emotive stress catalyzed from a mental issue tends to exacerbate rather than soothe

That's....quite intriguing. That did not occur to me. I am very glad you posted. Thank you. However....I have to wonder what "marginalizing" means in this context, versus "offering perspective"; I mean in no way to diminish the OP's fear and doubt and pain, but I do want the OP to realize everyone, everywhere, is also fearful, doubting, and in pain, and that she is not alone (key: no intent to rob her of her very personal viewpoint, but rather to reveal she is among fellow travelers).

Oddly, I think the OP saw this clearly, but other posters missed it. Insert mental health zinger here.

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RE: Mental issues... Suitable for the BDSM lifestyle? - 11/29/2012 7:06:51 PM

kalikshama

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Perhaps RemoteUser will come back to articulate how this is marginalizing, but do you see how it trivialized her concerns?

quote:

- A psycho chick could paint her belly that orange color Nature uses to warn creatures of toxic salamanders...and men would still line up to see her tits. See Point the First.

OP, don't stress it. By age 17, every straight man has figured out that it's not a matter of Is She Crazy?, but that it's a matter of How Crazy Is She? and How Does It Manifest Itself? and Can I Live With That?

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RE: Mental issues... Suitable for the BDSM lifestyle? - 11/29/2012 10:53:32 PM

descrite

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quote:

Perhaps RemoteUser will come back to articulate how this is marginalizing, but do you see how it trivialized her concerns?

Hmmmm....also intriguing. I will think on this.

From where I sit, at the moment, OP's concerns are not trivial, but they are not as earth-shattering as she would believe. They will not doom her to a life spent alone. There are some seriously crazy, fucked-up people out there, and many of them have paired off. I meant to offer frame of reference, not diminish the OP's self-worth.

Also: prescription meds. From what I gather, they work wonders.

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RE: Mental issues... Suitable for the BDSM lifestyle? - 11/29/2012 11:16:48 PM

RemoteUser

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

Perhaps RemoteUser will come back to articulate how this is marginalizing, but do you see how it trivialized her concerns?

Hi, back. Spent some time with my son and also with my girl. Life is good.

Marginalized outside of a social context (and this was not a direct social interaction) can be paralleled with being diminished or minimalized, pushed off to the edge. In short, descrite's words reduced the OPs expressed concerns regarding mental health - devalued by anecdote. I'm not saying it was his intention in any way, I'm simply observing in a cause/effect manner. I avoided trivialized for that very reason, it adds a connotation of intent. Whatever works, though; the words are not as important as the message.

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RE: Mental issues... Suitable for the BDSM lifestyle? - 11/29/2012 11:28:00 PM

RemoteUser

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quote:

ORIGINAL: descrite

I have also never taken heroin, but I feel comfortable recommending against it.

Heroin is external, mental health is not. That's the closest I can come to drawing a parallel between my observation that you didn't directly address the initial post, and your reply. If you have a different interpretation, I'm interested in hearing it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: descrite

That's....quite intriguing. That did not occur to me. I am very glad you posted. Thank you. However....I have to wonder what "marginalizing" means in this context, versus "offering perspective"; I mean in no way to diminish the OP's fear and doubt and pain, but I do want the OP to realize everyone, everywhere, is also fearful, doubting, and in pain, and that she is not alone (key: no intent to rob her of her very personal viewpoint, but rather to reveal she is among fellow travelers).

Oddly, I think the OP saw this clearly, but other posters missed it. Insert mental health zinger here.

Already said in part to kali, but worth repeating as it reflects directly on you: I don't presume your intent, and the message of camaraderie is a good one, though I might advise finding ways to say it that are better understood/appreciated by your audience. (Have I said that to you before? Something tells me I did, I'm not going to remember at this time of the morning though.) The perspective you offered was from you instead of someone else with mental health issues, which is not the same thing. More clearly illustrated, it would be like me saying I understand you because I know someone who has a beard. That's why marginalized was the better term (explained better in the post to kali, and not worth copying over, as it should be easy enough to locate). And, you're welcome, if I gave you any insight that was of value to you. That was my intent.

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RE: Mental issues... Suitable for the BDSM lifestyle? - 12/1/2012 8:06:49 AM

descrite

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quote:

The perspective you offered was from you instead of someone else with mental health issues, which is not the same thing. More clearly illustrated, it would be like me saying I understand you because I know someone who has a beard. That's why marginalized was the better term (explained better in the post to kali, and not worth copying over, as it should be easy enough to locate).

That does make sense. Thanks again.

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RE: Mental issues... Suitable for the BDSM lifestyle? - 12/1/2012 3:47:30 PM

RemoteUser

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quote:

ORIGINAL: descrite

That does make sense. Thanks again.

No problem, anytime.

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