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RE: Is it possible to be a feminist and narcissist sub ... - 12/2/2012 7:35:42 AM   
Level


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quote:

ORIGINAL: starskygal




Is it because of me?







_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to starskygal)
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RE: Is it possible to be a feminist and narcissist sub ... - 12/2/2012 7:42:18 AM   
SimplyMichael


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

This is why you're a crappy dom, you don't know that water glasses *can* have stems. ALL good dominants know how to drink out of stemmed glasses. It's in Dom 301, section 25.

Both red and white wine is held by the stem so as not to warm the wine.

Also, it is brandy and cognac that you warm with your hands - these (but of course) are served in balloon glasses.

The oracle has <coff coff> spoken.



LOL! However, she did say water GLASS, rather than goblet. As someone just mentioned, tall boy glasses and sometimes old fashioneds are now often used in place of a more formal water goblet.

You are correct about the right way to hold a red wine glass while drinking, my bad. I have been going to so many wine tastings and that is how many do it to increase the nose. Its bad form to drink that way for the reason you stated.

As a kid, I lived to out snob people, if I met my younger self now, I would deck him, I was such a boor. I loved to bitch if wine was served in the wrong glass, say a Bourdoux in a in a Reisling glass and actually madr sure I had all the right glasses. Giant pain in the ass I use a coffee cup now just to.make up for all tgat.






< Message edited by SimplyMichael -- 12/2/2012 7:46:30 AM >

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RE: Is it possible to be a feminist and narcissist sub ... - 12/2/2012 8:15:30 AM   
chatterbox24


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I think one of the best things that could happen to you is to meet a man who you are totally attracted to, who you admire and respect, and you are denied by him, due to your hypocrisy. He doesnt reward that behavior. But he is also patient with you and genuinely cares for you, and sticks with you. You might benefit from a guide type relationship, and it could humble you some.
I believe this would shake you up some, and you would learn a great deal from it. Even narcissists will bend, but it takes a skilled person with the control of a robot.

Just my sunday morning 2 cents, while drinking the best cup of coffee. YUM!

Btw, it makes me wonder if i am holding it the right way. lol. Its funny all the little things that add up to Mister Right, Miss RIght, etc etc.

< Message edited by chatterbox24 -- 12/2/2012 8:17:52 AM >


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RE: Is it possible to be a feminist and narcissist sub ... - 12/2/2012 8:50:52 AM   
metamorfosis


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quote:

ORIGINAL: starskygal
...when looking at their pictures I realize they don't know how to hold a glass of water, wine whatever ... I move on.


If I realized someone was judging me based on how I hold a glass of water... I would move on.

There's no absolute definition of what a sub is and is not. So, yes, you can be a sub and at the same time be a feminist, or narcissist, or whatever. All you have to do is find someone who you want who also wants you. Frankly, that may be a problem. Or maybe not, if all upper class Mexican society is that snobbish.

If you think you are developing a mental disorder, please go to the doctor. They will be able to tell far better than we will. Unless you condemn them out of hand based on how they hold a stethoscope. That was a joke.

Other than that I will just say, as a general rule, there's nothing wrong with knowing what you want and don't want. But to be so focused on what you want that you lose sight of all else... that could be a problem, and in more things than just BDSM.

Pam


< Message edited by metamorfosis -- 12/2/2012 8:52:32 AM >


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RE: Is it possible to be a feminist and narcissist sub ... - 12/2/2012 12:33:53 PM   
AnimusRex


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quote:

ORIGINAL: starskygal
...when looking at their pictures I realize they don't know how to hold a glass of water, wine whatever ... I move on.


But what if said gentleman drinks water from a faucet like I do?

(in reply to metamorfosis)
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RE: Is it possible to be a feminist and narcissist sub ... - 12/2/2012 12:57:45 PM   
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You barbarian! Visigoth! Knuckledragger!

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to AnimusRex)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Is it possible to be a feminist and narcissist sub ... - 12/2/2012 1:03:51 PM   
Kana


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Joined: 10/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: starskygal

Hi, I am still on the look for my real sub path if that makes sense.
I know I am a sub but I am still learning.

Anyway, is there anyone here who is also a narcissist and or a feminist or somwthing alike?

Im not an extreme feminist, I don't hate men I love them but I totally believe they are not better than women or more qualified or anything.
Gender equiality would be the right tag for my beliefs but leaning a little more towards women, I mean, I am one. I also think I am beautiful and almost out of this world ( I said almost lol), although I recognize other people's achievement and beauty and whatever(especially women) I just keep my greatness to myself, but it is there you know? I bet most of us women think like that, am I right?

So whenever I read profiles or messages, I hate it when a guy says he is smart because he went to college or has his own business or is offerng money and stuff like that, whenever I read that I am like..wtf! and move on Whenever I read "Im hot or a God" I move on, whenever I read something misogynistic I am like WWTTFF (caps and sol) and move on, the slightest comment against women gets me. When they say they are gentlemen and super educated and blah blah and then when looking at their pictures I realize they don't know how to hold a glass of water, wine whatever ... I move on.




Is it because of me? or is this how people in general react aswell? or I am wrong and I am not a sub?


Where is the line? Where do you draw it?

And is there something like switching from sub mood to regular? Like, I think I have a switch. Switch on; I don't mind too much about my feminist aspirations and maybe narcissistic as long as it is about me. Switch off, dont you dare!...

Thanks


Bwaahahahahahaha
(And it's spelled equality)
quote:

I am a little confused.

Yes, nods, yes you are.
Perhaps you're a manogynist.

Now me, I dunno, I try to think I'm a rational person, albeit somewhat of a sadist. And I don't think that men are better than women, or vice versa. I think both sexes are, like all humans, equally FUBAR.
Which means that I have faults, they have faults, she has faults, you (Gasp) have faults. And that acknowledging that minor fact makes me a more considerate, empathic, accepting human being. As does realizing that in the end, little things like knowing which fork to use at a dinner party are really unimportant, that what matters is character and that all those other minutia are just that, trivial.
And purely BTW, I've played with and owned lots of feminists slaves and subs. The one has nothing to do with the other.

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(in reply to starskygal)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Is it possible to be a feminist and narcissist sub ... - 12/2/2012 1:23:34 PM   
starskygal


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

Based on your limited responses here OP, you are not a feminist (Gawd forbid) and I seriously doubt you are a sub.

You ARE a narcissist.

For instance, you say you don't want a shallow person, but you reject people based on how they hold a water glass. That kind of thing only makes sense to the narcissistic personality.

Ok ok, thanks ;)

quote:

I suspect you are young and attractive and used to getting lots of male attention. Your entire ego appears to be built on that. You know what? At 28, it really is only a matter of time before the beauty of youth begins to fade, and men find you far less attractive physically. In order to gain all that male attention you crave, you'll have to be able to offer something else. Like a personality.

Right and sad, I have to admit I rely a lot on my looks, after all that is "my wrap" and what men look at first, I think I have a good and great personality but sadly men can't keep up with my mind. I am in Mexico and unfortunately most of them are macho, snobs or uneducated.

quote:

Good luck, I fear you will need it.

Good luck is always welcome ;)

Thank you ;)

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Is it possible to be a feminist and narcissist sub ... - 12/2/2012 1:30:35 PM   
Baroana


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* Andre the Giant voice on *

Feminist, you keep using that word. I don't think it means what you think it means.

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)
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RE: Is it possible to be a feminist and narcissist sub ... - 12/2/2012 1:34:35 PM   
absolutchocolat


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i won't repeat what CP said so eloquently, but i will say this -- i used to fancy myself a feminist, now not so much. i don't let my political views complicate what i want in the bedroom.

as for the narcissism, which seems to be getting in the way of you finding a suitable mate, perhaps a chat with a mental professional would help you sort that out. good luck, in any case.

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RE: Is it possible to be a feminist and narcissist sub ... - 12/2/2012 1:36:27 PM   
ChatteParfaitt


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You're attractive and intelligent and the men you meet can't keep up? I can seriously relate to that one, since there was a time when I was a bit like you. From the ages of 16 to about 22-23, I used my looks and bewailed the lack of intelligent men.

Turns out, there are plenty of smart men, they just weren't attracted to me. Too smart to fall for someone as shallow as I was back then?

I got older and started (belatedly) acquiring a personality. How things changed !!

Here's a truism: If you are not attracting the types of quality people you would like to spend time with, the problem is you, nothing but you. Make a commitment today to start becoming the kind of person who would be attractive to the type of people you are looking for.



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RE: Is it possible to be a feminist and narcissist sub ... - 12/2/2012 1:46:18 PM   
LanceHughes


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quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1
<snipped>
Brandy bowls, although are technically "glasses" aren't refered to as glasses generally (except for the uneducated).
<snipped>

Translation of "brandy bowl" (on the eastern side of the pond) for the western side of the pond is "brandy snifter."

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RE: Is it possible to be a feminist and narcissist sub ... - 12/2/2012 1:56:01 PM   
ChatteParfaitt


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From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
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Yes they are called snifters. As a one time bartender I can tell you that they are considered glassware -- just like a water goblet is considered a glass. These are merely specialty types of glassware, and as that Crappy Dom mentioned, there are many types of glassware, from wine glasses made for particular types of wine, to glasses made for particular alcoholic drinks. Please DO NOT put champagne in a white wine glass (oh, the horror).

Let's face it, a martini in *anything* other than a martini glass is blasphemy. Although there are certain cream drinks (not much known these days although bartending school still teaches them) that look great in a martini glass. There are highball glasses, collins glasses, daiquiri glasses -- and even though some of these drinks are not produced very often these days, that's still how you term the glassware. Every bartender knows *exactly* what a collins glass is.

Knowing your glassware is good ten percent of being a great bartender.

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RE: Is it possible to be a feminist and narcissist sub ... - 12/2/2012 2:54:22 PM   
starskygal


Posts: 20
Joined: 10/24/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Water glasses don't have stems, wine glasses do.

I meant a wine glass and water glass with stem, how do you call the water glass with stem? you know? when you set the table you have a red wine glass, white, water and champagne glass (forgive my term ignorance). Holding a red wine glass by the bowl is archaic and wrong, by holding it that way you warm it and ruin it.

quote:

That said, you are not narcassistic, you are just an overcompensating snob. You dismiss men out of some internal insecurity or fear. What was your parents relationship like? What was your relationship like with your father?

No I'm, not and I do not. I am far from snob, is not internal insecurity or fear, is just that I would like someone who knows what I know and can behave properly, I tend to go to a lot of snobish parties and stuff like that (not by choice) so I need someone who can keep up and someone I can look up to and feel proud of, not someone I feel sorry for. Besides table manners are basics of basic, I feel very uncomfortable when they don't know how to set a table, or hold their utensils etc.

My parents relationship is really good, and our relationship is amazing and something to envy.


@Dark Steven
quote:

I believe that you're thinking you might be a bedroom-only sub. (Also known as a bottom.) That's possible - a bedroom sub submits sexually because it gets her wet. Someone who submits outside the bedroom does so out of a desire to please or a wish to hand over full control.

Got it, wonderful!!! thanks I think im more of a bottom then.


quote:


The idea that a sub submit only to her Dominant, and not to the hordes of great unwashed that claim to be Dominant? Makes sense - submission is a serious relationship thing. It's like saying that you shouldn't sleep with everyone who walks up to you and demands sex. Nope, no link.


OOOhh ok ok, got it thanks ;)


quote:

I'm inclined to agree with Michael and CP in their views.

Certainly as far as holding a glass of water is concerned!
It would appear you know nothing much about culture or etiquette except snobbery.

Wrong call, I do know a lot. I am proud and appreciate learning all that since a young age, but I am more of a rebel though table manners are basics. Regarding culture, yes I haven't read every book out there, or newspaper, I don't know by heart every country's history but I do know a lot and reason even more, and what I know so far has been enough for great conversations, especially with older people, I love debating and of course winning. I am one of those who want to know it all, there is always a book on my side bed table, a notebook and a pen in my purse and wikipedia and google on my laptop's home page. Hell I made it to a private college in the US with a full ride for my BA and I got a Fullbright for my masters.
Reason why I look for someone educated and with at least table manners, not just because I want a good debate or interesting conversation but because men tend to feel inferior and intimidated easily.
I'm in Mexico and people here hardly make it to college, those who go to college pay to get in, the ones who go overseas also pay for it, just few of us get a full ride at a respectable institution. I would like someone I admire and respect, especially if we are going to have a sub-dom relationship, I am not sure if I could submit to someone I don't respect or admire. Just for the record, I am not looking for sometone wealthy or anything like that, I am more into sexuality, brains, soul and heart.

@simplymichael
quote:

Before we go to far, this woman is fromm Mexico, lower class men are haed working Catholic men, but upper class are bad paradies of machismo. The only ones worse are Persians.
Everyone around here is a macho macho super macho. Lower class men usually can't hold a conversation though not all of them and I am always willing to listen but they get intimiated super easy and start with their lies and all that or worse with "(you name it)....because you are a woman " catholics; usually middle upper class, aren't catholics really but they say they are and those are the ones showing off 24/7 and saying bs including "you are a woman" besides are scared of being kinky. Machos are usually horrible machos, no manners, no respect for women, no need to please women. I would love a mexican cowboy but they are extremely macho, I've been with a couple of them but got tired of how they treated me outside of the bedroom and how they always think they are right and lack of manners.

@chatterbox 24
quote:

I think one of the best things that could happen to you is to meet a man who you are totally attracted to, who you admire and respect, and you are denied by him, due to your hypocrisy. He doesnt reward that behavior. But he is also patient with you and genuinely cares for you, and sticks with you. You might benefit from a guide type relationship, and it could humble you some.
I believe this would shake you up some, and you would learn a great deal from it. Even narcissists will bend, but it takes a skilled person with the control of a robot.


Lol, I agree, thanks for that.

@metamorfosis
quote:

If I realized someone was judging me based on how I hold a glass of water... I would move on.
Me too. Story of my life.


quote:

If you think you are developing a mental disorder, please go to the doctor. They will be able to tell far better than we will. Unless you condemn them out of hand based on how they hold a stethoscope. That was a joke.


quote:

Other than that I will just say, as a general rule, there's nothing wrong with knowing what you want and don't want. But to be so focused on what you want that you lose sight of all else... that could be a problem, and in more things than just BDSM.

Thanks for that and so true.

@Animux Rex
quote:

But what if said gentleman drinks water from a faucet like I do?
I drink from a faucet too, doesn't matter where they drink water from as long as they do it properly. That is my point, don't tell me you are a gentleman and educated and with manners and blah blah what most insecure men say, and then post a picture where you clearly don't know how to behave. In fact don't even mention it and if you want to upload the picture just do it but be aware that I will judge you from your pictures, that is what pictures here are for.

@kana
quote:

Bwaahahahahahaha
(And it's spelled equality)
nit picking much? Thanks though ;)
quote:

Now me, I dunno, I try to think I'm a rational person, albeit somewhat of a sadist. And I don't think that men are better than women, or vice versa. I think both sexes are, like all humans, equally FUBAR.
Which means that I have faults, they have faults, she has faults, you (Gasp) have faults. And that acknowledging that minor fact makes me a more considerate, empathic, accepting human being. As does realizing that in the end, little things like knowing which fork to use at a dinner party are really unimportant, that what matters is character and that all those other minutia are just that, trivial.


I agree, I think I need to work on that then.

quote:

And purely BTW, I've played with and owned lots of feminists slaves and subs. The one has nothing to do with the other.

Good to know, thank you!!!


Thanks everyone, this is helping me A LOT, no wonder why I haven't found anyone to get this officially started. So I will keep my "feminist" side as it is and my kink as it is and will try to be more real when looking for someone without betraying my beliefs or myself but being more, real lol don't know how to say it, but yeah stop paying atenttion to small details that won't get me or us anywhere. I think I get it but it will take time.

Thank you.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Is it possible to be a feminist and narcissist sub ... - 12/2/2012 2:56:31 PM   
starskygal


Posts: 20
Joined: 10/24/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: absolutchocolat

i won't repeat what CP said so eloquently, but i will say this -- i used to fancy myself a feminist, now not so much. i don't let my political views complicate what i want in the bedroom.

Got it, and thanks for that one

quote:

as for the narcissism, which seems to be getting in the way of you finding a suitable mate, perhaps a chat with a mental professional would help you sort that out. good luck, in any case.

Thanks!

(in reply to absolutchocolat)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Is it possible to be a feminist and narcissist sub ... - 12/2/2012 2:59:08 PM   
starskygal


Posts: 20
Joined: 10/24/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

You're attractive and intelligent and the men you meet can't keep up? I can seriously relate to that one, since there was a time when I was a bit like you. From the ages of 16 to about 22-23, I used my looks and bewailed the lack of intelligent men.

Turns out, there are plenty of smart men, they just weren't attracted to me. Too smart to fall for someone as shallow as I was back then?

Totally possible, the smart ones think I am shallow just because of how I look. The shallow ones can't keep up.

quote:

I got older and started (belatedly) acquiring a personality. How things changed !!

Here's a truism: If you are not attracting the types of quality people you would like to spend time with, the problem is you, nothing but you. Make a commitment today to start becoming the kind of person who would be attractive to the type of people you are looking for.



That one hurt but I guess is right.

Thank you

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Is it possible to be a feminist and narcissist sub ... - 12/2/2012 3:53:55 PM   
TieMeInKnottss


Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline
This is why I troll the message boards. I have been using the same plastic cups for EVERYTHING!

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)
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RE: Is it possible to be a feminist and narcissist sub ... - 12/2/2012 5:50:19 PM   
BlackTigerDragon


Posts: 180
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I fail to see how feminism and narcissism are related. In fact they are complete buttfucking contrasts. Can you elaborate on that?

(in reply to starskygal)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Is it possible to be a feminist and narcissist sub ... - 12/2/2012 5:55:26 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
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From: United States
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Leaving the narcissism out of it.

As a submissive, I don't believe I am less than. I'm just a different side of the coin. He wouldn't be in a D/s relationship if there wasn't an "s" to his "D".

I'm feminist. I have as much worth as he does. I can't open a pickle jar, but he can't plan a party as well as I can. We have just figured out each other's strengths and weaknesses and have used them to create a happy relationship.

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The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: Is it possible to be a feminist and narcissist sub ... - 12/2/2012 7:52:16 PM   
artemiss


Posts: 88
Joined: 10/23/2007
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Did you perhaps just read Fifty Shades of Grey? Get all turned on and create a profile here. You could very well be a "do me" bottom,yeah, that would play well to your narcissistic nature.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 40
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