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Friends With Someone's Dom or Sub - 12/8/2012 9:41:21 AM

TryingOut

Posts: 7
Joined: 10/29/2012
Status: offline

I have had a few email exchanges from people who are already in relationships. Not sexual, just friendly. One person I have been speaking with, I saw something that made me realize the person was involved with someone else on here. Never discussed our relationships so I don't think it is sneaky but I don't want to overstep a boundary. They are not poly. Like I said, I know I am not interested in "that way" and I assume they are not interested in me either other than as a friend. I am very new and don't want to be thought of as a "poacher"

Post #: 1

RE: Friends With Someone's Dom or Sub - 12/8/2012 9:45:51 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

You can only be responsible for your own actions. If you are behaving in an honorable manner, then don't worry.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to TryingOut)

Post #: 2

RE: Friends With Someone's Dom or Sub - 12/8/2012 10:09:59 AM

AthenaSurrenders

Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline

As long as you aren't saying anything you wouldn't say to a married friend in the real world, you're fine.

I have friendly chats with people all the time. If you were to start asking me for dirty pictures, or talking about your penis or telling me I'm running my relationship wrong, I'd put a stop to it. Otherwise, no big deal.

If my partner had a problem with me talking to other people online, that's between me and him. It would be me who was knowingly doing something that my partner didn't like. Not that I'd be in that situation, because limiting who your partner speaks to reeks of distrust and insecurity.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to TryingOut)

Post #: 3

RE: Friends With Someone's Dom or Sub - 12/8/2012 11:01:51 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I talk to other people all the time. But I don't talk about sex because that's private. I ask about pictures and vacations, I share recipes etc.
None of which is inappropriate.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

Post #: 4

RE: Friends With Someone's Dom or Sub - 12/8/2012 1:45:52 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

Speaking of FIP you forgot to send me that macaroon recipe!

OP if you are conducting yourself as a friend not as an ass, poly or partnered shouldn't matter.

< Message edited by theRose4U -- 12/8/2012 1:46:35 PM >

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 5

RE: Friends With Someone's Dom or Sub - 12/8/2012 1:46:11 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

If you just want to talk to others on here in a platonic way, I don't think most would mind unless their profile tells you otherwise.

So read the person's profile to make sure you are not overstepping bounds. Personally I have had both male and female email me just for platonic conversations. If the person gets angry because all you did was make small talk with them, then just shrug your shoulders and fine another.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to TryingOut)

Post #: 6

RE: Friends With Someone's Dom or Sub - 12/8/2012 3:49:11 PM

mysteries1984

Posts: 36
Joined: 3/9/2011
Status: offline

It's not something I'd worry too much about, as long as it is platonic. I talk to a few others here and nothing sexual is ever mentioned. A few ask me questions about where I'm from (Ireland) and the like. I make my intentions clear on my profile, i.e that I'm not looking for anything here, so it never seems to be an issue.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 7

RE: Friends With Someone's Dom or Sub - 12/8/2012 8:44:49 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

Dude, if you want to make friends on here and have platonic conversations, join in the forums. The more you are here the more you will be recognized and others will talk to you. If you look around you will see all kinds of nonsexual conversations....from animal pets to cooking to politics to everything else in between.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to mysteries1984)

Post #: 8

RE: Friends With Someone's Dom or Sub - 12/8/2012 10:55:35 PM

Nakhla

Posts: 104
Joined: 10/24/2012
Status: offline

It seems perfectly normal to me. Whoever you are there is absolutely no reason to change who you're friends with - D/s, BDSM doesn't change that.

I myself have a disproportionate number of dominant male friends simply because I've met men on my search that either never were dates or just segued into being friends rather than a relationship. Many of these I've kept chatting and emailing right on through several relationships, and my status was known to them and my friends were known to my lovers.

As with so many things, it's only an issue if someone makes it one.

_____________________________

Submediant In Search Of Dominant Resolution... Formerly WestBaySlave on these forums.

(in reply to TryingOut)

Post #: 9

RE: Friends With Someone's Dom or Sub - 12/9/2012 8:10:11 AM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

I talk to tons of people on here all the time. Male, female, sub, dom, it doesn't matter.
And so does she.
Why not?
We're grown people. I trust her. She trusts me.
Which is as it should be.
Why?
Well because if a relationship is set on a solid bedrock of trust, it ain't gonna last.
To quote that great and eminent sage and junkie, James Marshall Hendrix,
"Castles made of sand slip into the sea, eventually."

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to Nakhla)

Post #: 10

RE: Friends With Someone's Dom or Sub - 12/9/2012 8:16:12 AM

Toysinbabeland

Posts: 1693
Joined: 3/4/2012
From: the other end of Cx's leash
Status: offline

This is a community of peers. Your intentions are what really matters.

_____________________________

*Smitten fox* that's all you need.

(in reply to Kana)

Post #: 11

RE: Friends With Someone's Dom or Sub - 12/9/2012 8:19:16 AM

noellesdestiny

Posts: 94
Joined: 9/3/2012
Status: offline

You sound like you're doing all the right things:)

(in reply to Toysinbabeland)

Post #: 12

RE: Friends With Someone's Dom or Sub - 12/9/2012 8:42:21 AM

littleone14

Posts: 185
Joined: 7/4/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Well because if a relationship is set on a solid bedrock of trust, it ain't gonna last.

Don't you mean "isn't set on a solid bedrock of trust?" =)

(in reply to Kana)

Post #: 13

RE: Friends With Someone's Dom or Sub - 12/9/2012 8:49:55 AM

poise

Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana
Well because if a relationship is set on a solid bedrock of trust, it ain't gonna last.

By bedrock, do you mean bed rock?

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to Kana)

Post #: 14

RE: Friends With Someone's Dom or Sub - 12/9/2012 9:22:22 AM

Toysinbabeland

Posts: 1693
Joined: 3/4/2012
From: the other end of Cx's leash
Status: offline

[image]

http://images.shirts.com/flintstones-bed-rock-t-shirt.jpg
[/image]

For Kana and lil....

_____________________________

*Smitten fox* that's all you need.

(in reply to poise)

Post #: 15

RE: Friends With Someone's Dom or Sub - 12/9/2012 9:23:28 AM

Toysinbabeland

Posts: 1693
Joined: 3/4/2012
From: the other end of Cx's leash
Status: offline

Yeesh.. I can't post pictures using my phone...

_____________________________

*Smitten fox* that's all you need.

(in reply to Toysinbabeland)

Post #: 16

RE: Friends With Someone's Dom or Sub - 12/9/2012 9:28:26 AM

poise

Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline

Here to lend an old broad a hand.

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to Toysinbabeland)

Post #: 17

RE: Friends With Someone's Dom or Sub - 12/9/2012 10:04:19 AM

Toysinbabeland

Posts: 1693
Joined: 3/4/2012
From: the other end of Cx's leash
Status: offline

Thanks poise....

;)

_____________________________

*Smitten fox* that's all you need.

(in reply to poise)

Post #: 18

RE: Friends With Someone's Dom or Sub - 12/9/2012 11:26:31 AM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone14

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Well because if a relationship is set on a solid bedrock of trust, it ain't gonna last.

Don't you mean "isn't set on a solid bedrock of trust?" =)

I stand, well actually sit, corrected.
Teach me to type before the coffee kicks in :-)

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to littleone14)

Post #: 19

RE: Friends With Someone's Dom or Sub - 12/9/2012 12:13:57 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone14

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Well because if a relationship is set on a solid bedrock of trust, it ain't gonna last.

Don't you mean "isn't set on a solid bedrock of trust?" =)

I stand, well actually sit, corrected.
Teach me to type before the coffee kicks in :-)

I just blame my f'n blackberry. Damn thiing leaves out letters I typed, routinely drops vowels like "I said" only works typed isaid. Contractions can make the entire word disappear.

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to Kana)

Post #: 20

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