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RE: Where to develop myself. - 12/12/2012 4:17:28 PM

MAINEiacMISTRESS

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quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

To the OP,
You are 22 years old.
No offense, but the not-so-simple biological fact is that your brain won't be "adult" until you are 25 years old- at least.

THANK YOU....THANK YOU....THANK YOUUUUUU...I've been saying that for YEARS due to all My interactions with 20-somethings (vanilla and otherwise). Residue behavior from the teenage years takes a long time to outgrow...usually 25 or 26 is about right. Every time I've made an exception for someone under that age, they end up proving they aren't QUITE "ripe" yet.

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RE: Where to develop myself. - 12/13/2012 6:39:44 PM

DesFIP

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Male frontal lobe development is not complete until about age 25. Female frontal lobe development is finished on the average of age 20.

But the op's just an arrant coward. He was in love, it didn't last as is appropriate for a kid's relationship. So he's never going to open up to anyone again for fear of being hurt. Someone who is totally fear based is not someone who is dominant.

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RE: Where to develop myself. - 12/13/2012 6:45:16 PM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MAINEiacMISTRESS

THANK YOU....THANK YOU....THANK YOUUUUUU...I've been saying that for YEARS due to all My interactions with 20-somethings (vanilla and otherwise). Residue behavior from the teenage years takes a long time to outgrow...usually 25 or 26 is about right. Every time I've made an exception for someone under that age, they end up proving they aren't QUITE "ripe" yet.

I was married at 18, owned a home at 20, owned a nice car, put myself through college and worked my ass off and got a BA in 2.5 years. It still wasn't until I was 26 or so that I gained any emotional maturity.

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RE: Where to develop myself. - 12/13/2012 10:09:51 PM

theRose4U

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Or stay as you are, continue to do things to people without consent, and find out what it feels like in a couple of years when you get to be somebody's bitch in the local penitentiary.

According to his profile he's already been there. Hoping it was after the army...which is a combo that makes me shudder

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RE: Where to develop myself. - 12/14/2012 6:31:32 AM

Oniw17

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Well... I see. First of all, I get by pretty well with an assortment of phrases that I use often, as long as I don't get into deep conversation with someone. Also, there's only one thing said about me in this topic
well one thing that stood out anyway) that was true, though it's changed since I first wrote my profile. For example, where does all this non-consensual stuff come from? I've never been involved with any type of rape or any such thing. I've been to jail, not prison. I only enjoy being a dick to people sometimes, I'm usually described as funny and laid back. If I wasn't that way, why would people always do anything I ask of them? As far as my profile, if everyone sees something wrong with it but me, that usually means there's something wrong with it. Maybe when I have more time I'll elaborate on the extent of some of the things that I've described and organize my thoughts. For now, I'll just say, that all of those elements need not be concurrent, common, nor permanent conditions. Other than that, I keep a strict schedule myself, and I would expect anyone who's going to spend a significant amount of time around me(thereby influencing me in some way or another) to do the same. The profile was meant to ward off people who are unwilling to sacrifice, maybe that was overdone a bit. We'll see after I redo it. I'll post here afterwards so that you guys can tell me what you think. Also, I work and go to school, and I don't keep a dirty house. I stay in shape my damn self, and I would definitely want to be as involved, if not more involved with the upbringing of my child as/than my mate. The sex I could get elsewhere if I wanted to, but if I'm going to put the time and effort into this type of relationship(or any type really), I would like to try new things with the person who I'm dedicating that time and effort to, rather than someone who I may see again in a month or a year, or next weekend. The whole bringing other girls over and all that, that just seems like fun to me. Like a child when they know they're getting away with something right in front of everyone, and no one else knows it. Can't say I've ever had a girl who would be peaceful with another girl I brought home, let alone lie to them for me. There's something ever-so-appealing about that to me. That just leaves the money really. Yes, there's the issue of trust, and I'm pretty sure that there's no sure-fire way to inspire trust; but I have a certain conversational charm, and there are many people who have and would trust me with their lives. If I was in a situation where someone granted me that responsibility, I would use the money to benefit the both of us as much as I could find the best way to spend it to benefit the both of us.

I know that there aren't any tones in text, I'm not trying to be arrogant, just to explain myself a bit more. Thanks everyone for your replies, and I welcome more replies and advice. Also, I see everyone's point about explaining what exactly it is that I have to offer in return for what I request. I guess I just didn't even consider that.

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RE: Where to develop myself. - 12/14/2012 7:13:08 AM

sub4adventure

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Oniw17

Well... I see. First of all, I get by pretty well with an assortment of phrases that I use often, as long as I don't get into deep conversation with someone.

Okay, I'll bite...what are some of those phrases you keep in your assortment? Please share your secrets, so the rest of us may become charming and irresistible like yourself.

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RE: Where to develop myself. - 12/14/2012 7:44:11 AM

Oniw17

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Nothing irresistible about it. Just a group of vague phrases that are very versatile. Like: 'a little bit'; 'prolly not'; 'you knew damn well that was gonna happen'; 'I try mind my own business'; 'that's correct'; 'see you next time'; 'i know right'; 'people are crazy'; 'i don't know about that' Why? 'I just think that you have to look at it from every perspective'; 'I have a headache, can we talk about this later?'; 'excuses...'; 'that's all you ever say'; 'what are you talking about?'; 'it happens'; 'you like that, huh?'; 'why you say that?'; 'I see'; 'let me get back to you about that'; 'I'll hit you up tomorrow'; 'I'm not ready yet'; 'calm down...'; et cetera. Nothing spectacular about it. Just read a book a proverbs, and you'll have enough vague statements to talk about almost anything. My charm is something I have less of an understanding of, but mostly everyone who's known me for more than a few months tells me how cool I am and how they love to be around me. Subtleties I guess.

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RE: Where to develop myself. - 12/15/2012 2:16:14 PM

kalikshama

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quote:

As far as my profile, if everyone sees something wrong with it but me, that usually means there's something wrong with it.

Another vote for there's something wrong with your profile.

Dial the what you want part waaaaaaaaaaaaay back and add lots about what you offer (your like of foreplay doesn't count, nor does your willingness to accept her paycheck.)

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RE: Where to develop myself. - 12/15/2012 4:47:59 PM

absolutchocolat

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ditto to what kalikshama says. your profile, as is, makes your life sound like something out of a badly written lifetime movie. write about what makes you happy, what makes you tick, and what you look for in a woman (besides her obedience and paycheck). a better picture wouldn't hurt either.

good luck :)

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RE: Where to develop myself. - 12/15/2012 5:05:48 PM

Killerangel

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No one can read your profile- kill the dark green background, the black type on top of that is unreadable. If you've got something worthwhile to say, make sure people can read it.

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RE: Where to develop myself. - 12/26/2012 6:38:06 AM

Oniw17

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So.... is my profile a little less..er, um.... what's the word? Avaricious?

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RE: Where to develop myself. - 12/26/2012 7:37:17 AM

DesFIP

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Yes but it's no more attractive. You expect a potential partner to have the innocence of a child while accepting everything from you but you don't propose to earn that. And it's really called unconditional love, which even with children isn't unconditional. You can still kill affection.

You expect someone to accept you as the person you hope to become, but the kind of person who wants that sort of person will need you to be that person first. BDSM is not therapy. Get therapy first. Become a healthy and desirable partner first. Because until you are no person who is a healthy and desirable person will be attracted to you/

And your profile is still as self centered as ever. You expect that when you do or say odd things the other person will lower their defenses and reveal the real them. In actuality, it works the other way. They will protect themselves in the moment more while thinking not about you, but about how to get away from you and into the company of people worth being with which you are still revealing yourself as not being.

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RE: Where to develop myself. - 12/26/2012 3:26:13 PM

Oniw17

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
You expect a potential partner to have the innocence of a child while accepting everything from you but you don't propose to earn that.

That's ridiculous. I was under the impression that respect and admiration were always earned through interaction. What about my profile makes you think that I lack a basic grasp of how interpersonal relationships work?

quote:

You expect someone to accept you as the person you hope to become

Where does such an assumption come from? Stating that there's a fundamental difference between who I am and who I hope to be does not equate to stating that I am who I hope to be. Do you mean the kinesiology thing? The only thing preventing me from pursuing that career is formal qualification, and that takes time. It's not like I'm inexperienced with exercise and nutrition. I was in the Army for god's sake. The point in stating that I plan to pursue such a career was that I have an interest in the subject, and know quite a bit about it. I can't think of any other place where I alluded to what I hope to be in reference to what I can do now.

quote:

, but the kind of person who wants that sort of person will need you to be that person first. BDSM is not therapy. Get therapy first. Become a healthy and desirable partner first. Because until you are no person who is a healthy and desirable person will be attracted to you/

What exactly is it that you think makes me unhealthy and undesirable?

quote:

And your profile is still as self centered as ever.

That's because it's about me. Why write a book on protons and not focus on protons?

quote:

You expect that when you do or say odd things the other person will lower their defenses and reveal the real them. In actuality, it works the other way. They will protect themselves in the moment more while thinking not about you, but about how to get away from you and into the company of people worth being with which you are still revealing yourself as not being.

Not that they will lower their defenses. When you surprise someone, they react first and think later. Whatever is the first thing that they reflexively do in such situations can tell you a lot.

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