Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom - 12/15/2012 11:14:18 AM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline 		Id suggest that you be who you are, rather than trying to change your own behavior to suit an image of what a dominant is supposed to act like. If you start trying to be someone or not just to try and fit that image, it stops becoming organic and natural. Just do you And serious do not be worried about how others view you. You sound like you are living in the real world and some others live in the "weal twue DOMINANT" world. Who gives a fuck what they think?

Im one of those types who addresses people as "Sir/Ma'am" when appropriate, uses "please, thank you," and asks people to do things for me rather than just demanding it. Thats who I am as a person, so it naturally is just part of who I am as a dominant female.

(in reply to oddlots347)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom - 12/15/2012 11:22:19 AM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		Good manners and kindness does not equal weakness. Not sure why you'd care what someone else thinks, do what seems right to you.

I'm not sure I'd ever be interested in someone that thought being Dominant precluded the usual social niceties, that's just me; I tend to go for Dominant men who are polite when it is warranted.

(in reply to oddlots347)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom - 12/15/2012 1:44:43 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline 		I'm guessing if manners will get my weel twue domme card revoked, grabbing his dick when he's doing manual labor for me & telling him how hot it makes me is out too??

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom - 12/15/2012 1:51:53 PM   
ARIES83


Posts: 3648
Status: offline 		Theres nothing wrong with having manners,
especially if there are kids around or in social
situations...

-Aries

_____________________________

530 DAYS

(in reply to MAINEiacMISTRESS)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom - 12/15/2012 2:28:24 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U
I'm guessing if manners will get my weel twue domme card revoked, grabbing his dick when he's doing manual labor for me & telling him how hot it makes me is out too??

As I understand TheRules(tm), you are not allowed to do anything which might in any way be considered "kind" or "nice" by the submissive. All acts of kindness, decency, and generosity are, by definition, submissive acts.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom - 12/15/2012 2:34:37 PM   
AgentX99


Posts: 8
Joined: 6/9/2012
Status: offline 		I'm polite, kind, and courteous to everyone with whom I interact, including restaurant staff, taxi drivers, retail clerks, and anyone else, and if someone doesn't like that, then they're going to encounter my 6'5" 310lb former angry powerlifter personality, who smashes people repeatedly into walls . .

I like my new, friendlier personality a LOT better . .

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom - 12/15/2012 2:37:02 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U
I'm guessing if manners will get my weel twue domme card revoked, grabbing his dick when he's doing manual labor for me & telling him how hot it makes me is out too??

As I understand TheRules(tm), you are not allowed to do anything which might in any way be considered "kind" or "nice" by the submissive. All acts of kindness, decency, and generosity are, by definition, submissive acts.



Why are you the only one with the official rule book?


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom - 12/15/2012 3:22:35 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: oddlots347

I have always had manners and been polite. I find myself from time to time when a submissive is serving me say the occasional thank you or instead of saying "get me this" I might say "would you mind getting me this" is this an issue that I need to address and work on?


Behave in the manner that makes you feel good about you! And forget about how others think you should behave

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to oddlots347)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom - 12/15/2012 8:17:15 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
Why are you the only one with the official rule book?

I paid for the expedited shipping. But hey, if you're still waiting for your copy I'll be happy to look up any answers you need.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom - 12/15/2012 8:24:44 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		There's a time and place for everything.

"Honey, would you please get me another cup of tea?" is perfectly appropriate.

Grabbing her by the neck, throat fucking her while saying " Could you please give me a blow job?" is going to come across weird.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom - 12/15/2012 9:39:07 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
Grabbing her by the neck, throat fucking her while saying " Could you please give me a blow job?" is going to come across weird.

Well of COURSE that's going to come across weird. For starters, how can you fuck her throat properly when you're grabbing her by the neck. Her head's gonna be flipping and flopping all over the place. I find a firm grip on the skull gives a lot more control. Oh... and I'd have asked politely if it was OK to fuck her throat before I did it not after... it's a cart & horse thing.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom - 12/15/2012 9:46:50 PM   
ServosCor


Posts: 267
Joined: 9/3/2012
Status: offline 		  Politeness and manners are never out of style.  Nor are they a sign of weakness or a "less Domly" personality.  Be yourself.  Do what YOU are comfortable doing and what makes YOU happy!  :)

                ~ servos cor ~

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom - 12/16/2012 6:54:46 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		Kindness is not to be mistaken for weakness... nor forgiveness as
acceptance...it is the knowledge that hate and resentment are not the
pathway to inner peace.


KamaSutra




_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to ServosCor)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom - 12/16/2012 11:37:30 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		I find it sad that people need to ask other adults if kindness, consideration and manners are "ok".

Shakes head.

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom - 12/16/2012 11:52:04 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Hey Jeff, so how much are you charging for a samizdat copy of the official rule book?

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom - 12/16/2012 11:57:06 AM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U
I'm guessing if manners will get my weel twue domme card revoked, grabbing his dick when he's doing manual labor for me & telling him how hot it makes me is out too??

As I understand TheRules(tm), you are not allowed to do anything which might in any way be considered "kind" or "nice" by the submissive. All acts of kindness, decency, and generosity are, by definition, submissive acts.


Yeah but beating him with a rake messes up the rake & a shovel or claw hammer to the nuts is just rude!! What do you suggest?

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom - 12/17/2012 1:15:18 PM   
RaspberryLemon


Posts: 422
Joined: 7/18/2011
Status: offline 		My Master almost always "asks nicely." Most of his orders are phrased in requests like "Would you get me a drink?" and he always says thank you. Him phrasing it like that doesn't make it any less of an order. I know what he wants, so I follow through, regardless of how I'm asked.

And I will say that I for one appreciate him being considerate and polite like that. It feels more personal the way he talks to me, and I like that. And receiving praise and "thank you"s makes me feel appreciated and helps me to know I'm doing a good job.

There's nothing wrong with having your own style of issuing orders. Being considerate and polite, by a lot of people's standards, is a good thing. If my Master felt the need to be mean or rude when giving orders, I'd have a hard time having any respect for him.

(in reply to oddlots347)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom - 12/17/2012 2:10:43 PM   
CharmingKitty


Posts: 103
Joined: 6/2/2012
Status: offline 		I prefer thank you's and politely phrased commands. I understand some might not like this because you don't really need to thank or be nice about something someone needs to do.
But I think that a kind word and a well placed apology are more "dominant" traits than someone who ignores when they've made a mistake.
However that's just me. You really need to communicate with your partner to know what side of the fence they are on.

(in reply to MAINEiacMISTRESS)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom - 12/17/2012 2:17:23 PM   
TieMeInKnottss


Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline 		I reiterate- if you had a boss or teacher who was rude and mean for no other reason than they believed it was their right to treat people "lower" than them like that, would you stick around? Personally, I would be looking for a new job or transferring classes because people who are unable to observe common courtesy because they are "too important", should not be trusted.

(in reply to CharmingKitty)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom - 12/17/2012 4:17:04 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TieMeInKnottss
I reiterate- if you had a boss or teacher who was rude and mean for no other reason than they believed it was their right to treat people "lower" than them like that, would you stick around? Personally, I would be looking for a new job or transferring classes because people who are unable to observe common courtesy because they are "too important", should not be trusted.

But that thinking only works because you're looking at a "master" as a boss or teacher. That's the same viewpoint I have... a non-fantasy based leadership model. But for someone who wanted some specific buttons pressed then "polite" may not cut it. In that case they aren't trying to create an actual authority dynamic, they are trying to satisfy a fantasy and different rules apply.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094