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RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom - 12/22/2012 7:32:50 PM   
PrimalConsonance


Posts: 463
Joined: 7/11/2009
From: Southern New Jersey
Status: offline 		OP: you are being yourself, and that is what matters most. You don't have to act how you think others would want you to behave. Doing what you feel comfortable with when dealing with others, is the right way to go. Anything else would be posturing, and would mean less to those that rely on you to be the real you...the one confident and in charge.

_____________________________

AKA: CNJDom (types in black) and roselaure (types in Red)


Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss


(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom - 12/22/2012 7:42:39 PM   
TieMeInKnottss


Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline 		t rules apply.

Alas, I agree Jeff. I am going with the assumption that we are discussing the early stages of a new relationship. So, my advice works if you are looking for long term... If you want someone short term..skip any who say they are looking to be degraded.

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom - 12/23/2012 11:46:33 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TieMeInKnottss

t rules apply.

Alas, I agree Jeff. I am going with the assumption that we are discussing the early stages of a new relationship. So, my advice works if you are looking for long term... If you want someone short term..skip any who say they are looking to be degraded.

why?
That can be lots of fun, kinda the BDSM equivalent of hit and run?
Or better yet, to paraphrase Bowie, a wham bang, thank you easyfucking hoebagskankwhoreslut maam

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom - 12/23/2012 12:04:08 PM   
littleone14


Posts: 185
Joined: 7/4/2012
Status: offline 		My experience is pretty limited. I've only really played with one dom. He is very kind, considerate, and jokes about the fact that he cleans up afterwards while I'm still coming down. While I know he means it when I'm given an order, he's not rude or cold about it. Because he treats me kindly, I trust him and I trust his orders. It puts me into a place where I feel a cumpulsion to please him, which to me is the point. He is able to push me alot further than he would if he was cruelly ordering me around.

There are subs out there like me who respond better to doms like you. No need for you to change.......

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom - 12/23/2012 12:20:50 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

It puts me into a place where I feel a cumpulsion to please him, which to me is the point.


I'm sure that was just a Freudian slip

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to littleone14)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom - 12/23/2012 2:48:21 PM   
littleone14


Posts: 185
Joined: 7/4/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

quote:

It puts me into a place where I feel a cumpulsion to please him, which to me is the point.


I'm sure that was just a Freudian slip


Damn. Chalk that up to my inability to spell........

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom - 12/23/2012 3:17:16 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone14


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

quote:

It puts me into a place where I feel a cumpulsion to please him, which to me is the point.


I'm sure that was just a Freudian slip


Damn. Chalk that up to my inability to spell........

Uh huh-I'm sure it was just that.
And hey, I'm in the market for a bridge-got one to sell?

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to littleone14)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom - 12/23/2012 3:18:09 PM   
TieMeInKnottss


Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana


quote:

ORIGINAL: TieMeInKnottss

t rules apply.

Alas, I agree Jeff. I am going with the assumption that we are discussing the early stages of a new relationship. So, my advice works if you are looking for long term... If you want someone short term..skip any who say they are looking to be degraded.

why?
That can be lots of fun, kinda the BDSM equivalent of hit and run?
Or better yet, to paraphrase Bowie, a wham bang, thank you easyfucking hoebagskankwhoreslut maam




I have been subjected to many "hit and run" doms (funny you use that term I wrote a journal entry about it last week) lately. And not one has been gracious enough to even send a "sorry, I expected the end of the world so I didn't think I needed to be polite"

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom - 12/23/2012 3:56:47 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TieMeInKnottss


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana


quote:

ORIGINAL: TieMeInKnottss

t rules apply.

Alas, I agree Jeff. I am going with the assumption that we are discussing the early stages of a new relationship. So, my advice works if you are looking for long term... If you want someone short term..skip any who say they are looking to be degraded.

why?
That can be lots of fun, kinda the BDSM equivalent of hit and run?
Or better yet, to paraphrase Bowie, a wham bang, thank you easyfucking hoebagskankwhoreslut maam




I have been subjected to many "hit and run" doms (funny you use that term I wrote a journal entry about it last week) lately. And not one has been gracious enough to even send a "sorry, I expected the end of the world so I didn't think I needed to be polite"

I was referring more to the short term relationships cats or the ones who are like, "Hey, I don't have to plan for the long term, let's see how things develop" type than rude bastards who send nasty emails and then bolt

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom - 12/23/2012 4:08:39 PM   
VancouverMilkMan


Posts: 1
Joined: 9/14/2008
Status: offline 		[delete... wrong thread]

< Message edited by VancouverMilkMan -- 12/23/2012 4:09:17 PM >

(in reply to oddlots347)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom - 12/23/2012 4:49:03 PM   
TieMeInKnottss


Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana


quote:

ORIGINAL: TieMeInKnottss


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana


quote:

ORIGINAL: TieMeInKnottss

t rules apply.

Alas, I agree Jeff. I am going with the assumption that we are discussing the early stages of a new relationship. So, my advice works if you are looking for long term... If you want someone short term..skip any who say they are looking to be degraded.

why?
That can be lots of fun, kinda the BDSM equivalent of hit and run?
Or better yet, to paraphrase Bowie, a wham bang, thank you easyfucking hoebagskankwhoreslut maam




I have been subjected to many "hit and run" doms (funny you use that term I wrote a journal entry about it last week) lately. And not one has been gracious enough to even send a "sorry, I expected the end of the world so I didn't think I needed to be polite"

I was referring more to the short term relationships cats or the ones who are like, "Hey, I don't have to plan for the long term, let's see how things develop" type than rude bastards who send nasty emails and then bolt


On the contrary...the ones who send nasty or rude emails aren't even worth the mention. "Hit and Run" are the one who come in with wonderful plans, great lines, communicate with you regularly (The HIT) but once you want to meet them in person they RUN. I get more of those then the jerkoffs.

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom - 12/23/2012 5:10:31 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		That's cuz you're so terrifying in the flesh. You're like a real live woman, with a mouth, and brains and shit.
That scares beejusus out of lots of guys

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom - 12/24/2012 2:31:55 AM   
metamorfosis


Posts: 1132
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: oddlots347
...is this an issue that I need to address and work on?


I rather think you should be saying: why the hell are all you inconsiderate Doms doing it wrong? The issue you may need to work on is self doubt.

Pam

_____________________________

Pam (aka gungadin09)

Forum Freak

(in reply to oddlots347)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom - 1/2/2013 4:47:34 PM   
SirElegance7


Posts: 18
Joined: 11/3/2012
Status: offline 		I use to think something similar myself. "Does saying thank you and please mean I am soft?" Now I laugh over the reason why I thought that. Considerate people in general gives off positive energy i think.

_____________________________

I seek elegance rather than luxury

(in reply to metamorfosis)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom - 1/4/2013 3:35:26 PM   
AlphaMaleStephen


Posts: 2
Joined: 3/13/2012
Status: offline 		Breeding and good manners are not a sign of weakness. I'm polite because I'm a gentleman but when I walk in room I own the damn place. It's an attitude and a world view. I'm not arrogant or an asshat but I am in charge whever I go.

(in reply to MAINEiacMISTRESS)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom - 1/7/2013 8:36:13 AM   
r1a2y3m4o5n6d7


Posts: 196
Joined: 1/15/2012
Status: offline 		Im usualy a polite Dom (family upbringing). BUT! There are always exceptions to the rule well there are a lot of exceptions.

Some people don't want you to be polite to them.

You need to be flexible.

(in reply to AlphaMaleStephen)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Is it not good to be a considerate Dom - 1/11/2013 3:55:28 PM   
LoyalSatellite


Posts: 1
Joined: 1/8/2012
Status: offline 		Manners are not a weakness.

There is a certain style about putting someone in a position where's they cannot do anything but what you ask ... And then you simply say "Would you do this please...?"... Like that had a choice...

Politeness and calm is an amazing aphrodisiac. Anyone can shout and scream and yell...
Besides if you do decide to up the game if you yell and boss all the time what is your next gear? More of the same?

One of the most powerful teachers is t say "no"

Sub... "Please hurt me"
Dom: "No" ...

Watch that reaction...
They will soon realise they have displeased you.

Domination does not have the about bullying or bad manners.

It can be subtle, enticing.
It can be provoking and sensual...

Sure it can be about many things but really it's whatever style you feel is right and what works for both you and your partner in this game...
Coz let us not forget it IS a game...

Not to be taken too seriously (like life)!

My question is do you feel you need to be rude?

(in reply to r1a2y3m4o5n6d7)
Profile   Post #: 57
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