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Interesting Article about Rude Behaviour Online - 12/23/2012 10:43:32 PM

nakedfreedom

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This article has definitely confirmed my suspicions about online behaviour. LOL!!! Also, if it's true, then you definitely would expect more rude, abusive behaviour on a site like this one. I still think it's wrong and indecent. Yes, that block feature is Collarme's way of agreeing and saying they can't monitor it all.

Read the article! It's interesting. http://blogs.computerworld.com/the_psychology_of_rude_behavior_online_0

I still think it's a healthy discussion to be had about consent with online play. LOL!!!! You fucking--ass- LOL!!!!!

Post #: 1

RE: Interesting Article about Rude Behaviour Online - 12/23/2012 10:48:03 PM

tazzygirl

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LOL

That block feature is their way of saying.... you are an adult... YOU decide if you want to consent to that treatment or not.

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Post #: 2

RE: Interesting Article about Rude Behaviour Online - 12/23/2012 10:59:45 PM

JeffBC

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I guess I look at it in an entirely different way. As far as I'm concerned I'm glad that anonymity causes people to be less responsive to social norms. What that means is that what I see here is closer to the real truth. So in short, all the asshats come here and expose themselves as such. The only thing I don't get are the people who say, "Oh, but they're not like that in real life." Oh yes they are. They just cover it up better in real life.

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Post #: 3

RE: Interesting Article about Rude Behaviour Online - 12/23/2012 11:09:53 PM

metamorfosis

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It doesn't say how the scientists determined what was "rude".

The article discusses several theories. One of them is that a person's identity is diminished online which makes it easier to be rude and antisocial. Another is that online behavior really isn't rude, it's simply that internet forums are an informal medium and that's how people talk, in addition to the fact that a lack of "body language" makes it easier to mistake someone's comment for rudeness when it wasn't meant that way.

Pam

< Message edited by metamorfosis -- 12/23/2012 11:59:00 PM >

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Post #: 4

RE: Interesting Article about Rude Behaviour Online - 12/23/2012 11:20:52 PM

metamorfosis

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On a related note: OP, I hope you don't mind if I take the liberty of quoting from your profile (she says, politely):

"For chat members: If I disagree with you, I will say so. If you reply with a denigrating remark, I will tell you to fuck off. BDSM chat doesn't give you the right to call names, belittle, or insult anyone that isn't playing with you."

Depending on who said what, someone might think that the rude person online is you.

Pam

< Message edited by metamorfosis -- 12/23/2012 11:32:59 PM >

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Post #: 5

RE: Interesting Article about Rude Behaviour Online - 12/23/2012 11:42:12 PM

tj444

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he also says:

"But, despite all the scientific theories, Marshall's himself seems the most plausible.
"My pet theory about why people behave so rudely is that online commenting is treated, by most people, like a pub conversation- they don't necessarily expect to be taken seriously and the social rules are fairly relaxed," Marshall wrote. "And yet, because comments appear in cold text without important cues like friendly body language, they can easily seem more offensive than if they would otherwise." "

so, in other words, some of what is said onlline & sounds rude isnt actually meant to be serious or rude.. I try hard to be careful what i say online so as not to be misunderstood, but sometimes that can still happen..

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Post #: 6

RE: Interesting Article about Rude Behaviour Online - 12/23/2012 11:55:37 PM

AllisonWilder

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

I guess I look at it in an entirely different way. As far as I'm concerned I'm glad that anonymity causes people to be less responsive to social norms. What that means is that what I see here is closer to the real truth. So in short, all the asshats come here and expose themselves as such. The only thing I don't get are the people who say, "Oh, but they're not like that in real life." Oh yes they are. They just cover it up better in real life.

Yep, I agree with this.

The anonymity of online interaction just lets jerks be free to be themselves without any societal repercussions. I've never met a person in real-time that was great in person but an asshole on the internet.

(in reply to JeffBC)

Post #: 7

RE: Interesting Article about Rude Behaviour Online - 12/24/2012 1:12:28 AM

TwoHeartsBeatOne

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Combined, you both got to the core of it.

I don't leave my good character behind when I engage with others. How is that even possible?

quote:

ORIGINAL: AllisonWilder

quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

I guess I look at it in an entirely different way. As far as I'm concerned I'm glad that anonymity causes people to be less responsive to social norms. What that means is that what I see here is closer to the real truth. So in short, all the asshats come here and expose themselves as such. The only thing I don't get are the people who say, "Oh, but they're not like that in real life." Oh yes they are. They just cover it up better in real life.

Yep, I agree with this.

The anonymity of online interaction just lets jerks be free to be themselves without any societal repercussions. I've never met a person in real-time that was great in person but an asshole on the internet.

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(in reply to AllisonWilder)

Post #: 8

RE: Interesting Article about Rude Behaviour Online - 12/24/2012 1:20:21 AM

metamorfosis

Posts: 1132
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne
I don't leave my good character behind when I engage with others. How is that even possible?

Are you saying your behavior towards people on the internet is exactly what it is in real life? How is that even possible?

Pam

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Post #: 9

RE: Interesting Article about Rude Behaviour Online - 12/24/2012 1:40:47 AM

metamorfosis

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Or that your behavior in either case is always what you would ideally have it be? That strikes me as even less possible.

Pam

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Post #: 10

RE: Interesting Article about Rude Behaviour Online - 12/24/2012 3:32:05 AM

Zonie63

Posts: 2826
Joined: 4/25/2011
From: The Old Pueblo
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quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

I guess I look at it in an entirely different way. As far as I'm concerned I'm glad that anonymity causes people to be less responsive to social norms. What that means is that what I see here is closer to the real truth. So in short, all the asshats come here and expose themselves as such. The only thing I don't get are the people who say, "Oh, but they're not like that in real life." Oh yes they are. They just cover it up better in real life.

I've also heard the same thing about driving, that your "real" personality comes out when you're behind the wheel.

(in reply to JeffBC)

Post #: 11

RE: Interesting Article about Rude Behaviour Online - 12/24/2012 3:50:59 AM

Zonie63

Posts: 2826
Joined: 4/25/2011
From: The Old Pueblo
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quote:

ORIGINAL: metamorfosis

It doesn't say how the scientists determined what was "rude".

The article discusses several theories. One of them is that a person's identity is diminished online which makes it easier to be rude and antisocial. Another is that online behavior really isn't rude, it's simply that internet forums are an informal medium and that's how people talk, in addition to the fact that a lack of "body language" makes it easier to mistake someone's comment for rudeness when it wasn't meant that way.

Pam

I think it also would depend on the overall culture and dynamic of a given forum. Some forums are different - some more polite and civil than others. Someone might frequent a forum where being rude and insulting is just the cultural norm for that forum, and then they go to some other forum where the culture is different - and then the sparks fly.

Rude people are one thing (whether on the internet or real life), but what really frosts me are those who can dish it out but can't take it. There are people who throw out insults left and right, but if someone dares to insult them back, they suddenly act like they're the injured party.

(in reply to metamorfosis)

Post #: 12

RE: Interesting Article about Rude Behaviour Online - 12/24/2012 4:40:59 AM

evesgrden

Posts: 597
Joined: 6/9/2012
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There aren't consequences powerful enough to discourage inappropriate behavior as long as you're anonymous. You're not held accountable, so even if someone screws up big time, they can change their name and come back with a clean slate. Or they can go to another forum and change their name for a fresh start.

You can't do that at work, or with your family, or with your friends, or any local club. Your reputation and name will follow you. You can be ostracized in real time, here you can just come back or go elsewhere with little or no difficulty here by changing your name. You can basically get away with it online.

In short, there are no mechanisms for correcting misbehavior online, all we can do is remove it (via monitors) or close our eyes to it (via blocking).

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Post #: 13

RE: Interesting Article about Rude Behaviour Online - 12/24/2012 5:34:32 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
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From: Apple County NY
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Additionally in real life you shut up when your great aunt tells you exactly what she thinks of you. But do you think of her as being deliberately offensive or just outspoken and blunt?

Very often we get people here whining when others don't automatically agree with them. I am going to assume you are an adult and therefore can handle the truth. If you can't, then don't ask others for advice. When someone is doing something extremely stupid, like getting involved with a guy who tells her from the get go that he's going to constantly chase strange, while expecting to somehow have her love turn him into Mr Faithful, then are we being rude when we call her out on her pie in the sky attitude or are we being helpful by pointing out her options are to accept him as is or find someone else?

For that matter, is it rude if your doctor tells you that you're too fat and need to lose weight or suffer a fatal heart attack? Or is that blunt honesty what you expect and need if you are to stay alive?

If you want a bedside manner and to be treated like a three year old who just fell down, then you don't belong online. You especially don't belong online on a site devoted to sadism and frequented by people who enjoy being sadistic.

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Post #: 14

RE: Interesting Article about Rude Behaviour Online - 12/24/2012 6:27:49 AM

AllisonWilder

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Joined: 10/8/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Additionally in real life you shut up when your great aunt tells you exactly what she thinks of you. But do you think of her as being deliberately offensive or just outspoken and blunt?

Very often we get people here whining when others don't automatically agree with them. I am going to assume you are an adult and therefore can handle the truth. If you can't, then don't ask others for advice. When someone is doing something extremely stupid, like getting involved with a guy who tells her from the get go that he's going to constantly chase strange, while expecting to somehow have her love turn him into Mr Faithful, then are we being rude when we call her out on her pie in the sky attitude or are we being helpful by pointing out her options are to accept him as is or find someone else?

For that matter, is it rude if your doctor tells you that you're too fat and need to lose weight or suffer a fatal heart attack? Or is that blunt honesty what you expect and need if you are to stay alive?

If you want a bedside manner and to be treated like a three year old who just fell down, then you don't belong online. You especially don't belong online on a site devoted to sadism and frequented by people who enjoy being sadistic.

The part I bolded above should be stickied on the top of every forum across the internet. I totally agree. However, there's a difference between just being a jerk and being blunt and opinionated. For example, calling someone fat who is not fat is just someone being a jerk, a doctor calling a fat patient fat is just being blunt.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 15

RE: Interesting Article about Rude Behaviour Online - 12/24/2012 6:33:34 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: nakedfreedom

This article has definitely confirmed my suspicions about online behaviour. LOL!!! Also, if it's true, then you definitely would expect more rude, abusive behaviour on a site like this one. I still think it's wrong and indecent. Yes, that block feature is Collarme's way of agreeing and saying they can't monitor it all.

Read the article! It's interesting. http://blogs.computerworld.com/the_psychology_of_rude_behavior_online_0

I still think it's a healthy discussion to be had about consent with online play. LOL!!!! You fucking--ass- LOL!!!!!

And this has fuckall to do with BDSM so why is it in the General BDSM area instead of one of the random bullshit areas?

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 12/24/2012 7:30:19 AM >

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Post #: 16

RE: Interesting Article about Rude Behaviour Online - 12/24/2012 6:39:50 AM

ChatteParfaitt

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FR: I didn't find the article all that interesting, it basically rehashed what others have been saying for years.

I disagree that the internet causes people to lose their identity. And the idea that it causes some mob behavior as at a person thinking of jumping off a ledge is laughable.

Many people find modern life robs them of self realization and personal autonomy, and the anonymity of the internet allows them to get some of that back. Some of these people will do that in a rude way that they would NEVER do in real time.

Why? B/c they can.

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Post #: 17

RE: Interesting Article about Rude Behaviour Online - 12/24/2012 7:38:47 AM

SimplyMichael

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Except many of us here know each other in real life, or at least once or twice removed and or use real names and pictures.

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Post #: 18

RE: Interesting Article about Rude Behaviour Online - 12/24/2012 7:41:02 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
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I wasn't talking about the core group here, who as you say, often know each other real time or know others who know real time.

We may be snarky, but we're mostly not rude.

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RE: Interesting Article about Rude Behaviour Online - 12/24/2012 7:51:04 AM

Hillwilliam

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Fast Reply to the OP.

You come onto a site that is chock full of fucking Sadists and complain about a bunch of meanieheads?

What the FUCK

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Post #: 20

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