RE: How to filter the fakes?

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RE: How to filter the fakes? - 12/27/2012 3:07:00 PM

littlewonder

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How do you decide they are or are not what they say they are? They may be telling you the actual truth but you read it completely different, heard something else and built up a fantasy around it in your head. They are not something else than they said, you just decided to interpret it differently because that's what you WANTED to hear.

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RE: How to filter the fakes? - 12/27/2012 3:07:50 PM

TheLilSquaw

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PrincessBellaKae

Yess, I love Catfish. That's how I'd define fake too, I feel. Someone pretending to be something they're not? I suppose.

I like Catfish as well.
It's sad, but it happens all the time.
But THAT isn't always how people define "fake" on here that is why I asked for clarification.

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RE: How to filter the fakes? - 12/27/2012 4:31:51 PM

ccc3333

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I have actually had an experience like catfish, but thankfully invested minimal time into it... a date that the girl showed up was 180degrees diff thaneverything she claimed to be.

If it's me... i would never invest any significant amount of time without seeing them on skype or webcam... or in person. Ever. Otherwise the longer they put it off, the more they have to hide.

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RE: How to filter the fakes? - 12/27/2012 9:39:09 PM

Angelcurvysub

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Let me clear up the "what is a fake" question. A fake is a person acting or pretending to be a Dom or pretending they are interested but do not go beyond internet chat or even a phone call before an in person meeting is set up. I KNOW this is the internet and I put forth great EFFORT and HONESTY and it would be nice to see the same in return. However since it is the internet I realize it is part of the process. It amazes me that a person gives out their phone number with no intention of going beyond 1 phone call.. do they think you won't call again?? Sorry I know I am ranting.. Darksteven you gave the best advice TY. Also thank all of you for your thoughts and feedback.

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RE: How to filter the fakes? - 12/27/2012 9:46:23 PM

JeffBC

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Ahhhhh... so basically we're talking about people who are pretending to want to form a relationship but do not. I pretty much agree with DS (big surprise LOL) that anyone not just willing but interested in hours of conversation about "life" is likely not an instadom. But I have to believe that there are still a fair number of guys out there who'd string along a woman indefinitely just to get their "fix" of ... if nothing else ... stringing you along. That is kind of weird though about going so far as to give out a phone number. Did the 1st phone call go badly from his perspective? Are you sure? The online relationship folks generally like to keep it strictly online.

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RE: How to filter the fakes? - 12/27/2012 9:48:27 PM

poise

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Angelcurvysub
It amazes me that a person gives out their phone number with no intention of going beyond 1 phone call..

This sounds more like a case of 1 person deciding that the other isn't really what they were looking for.
Perhaps there was enough initial attraction and an interest in seeing if things could progress, hence
the sharing of phone numbers. But that doesn't mean they are committed to a lifelong, or even a week
long, relationship with the person.

If the interest is not as strong as they initially hoped, would you prefer they stick it out anyways,
just to make you happy? That, in my opinion, is what a fake would do.

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RE: How to filter the fakes? - 12/27/2012 10:11:43 PM

littlewonder

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I remember a friend of mine once who was talking to this guy on a dating site. She seemed to hit it off with him so they decided to move to phone. When she called him, a person answered the phone and she asked if so and so was there. She started to get suspicious because a woman answered the phone. Automatically she thought he is married. The person said "this is so and so....".

His voice sounded like a girl lol. She never bothered to meet him or go any further than that from there on in lol.

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RE: How to filter the fakes? - 12/28/2012 12:44:27 AM

descrite

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Yeah. That doesn't seem shallow at all.

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RE: How to filter the fakes? - 12/28/2012 12:48:00 AM

JeffBC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: descrite
Yeah. That doesn't seem shallow at all.

Huh? I have a fairly high voice for a male (I think anyway). I might be rejected on those same grounds. But when did "having a preference" become shallow? What's your definition of "deep"?

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Post #: 29

RE: How to filter the fakes? - 12/28/2012 1:16:05 AM

metamorfosis

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I gotta go with Jeff on this one. In relationships preference rules, and you're entitled to be attracted to someone, or not to be attracted to them, for any reason at all.

Pam

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RE: How to filter the fakes? - 12/28/2012 1:18:43 AM

metamorfosis

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Angelcurvysub
I have run into many fakes not just here but in other sites. I know it happens especially on the internet. what is your advice on how to filter who are fakes and who is real? Even when given a phone number, address and full name it hasn't made a difference.

Look for people who post on the forums. They generally aren't fake. Failing that, look for someone who put some effort into their profile, perhaps with multiple long journal entries.

Pam

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RE: How to filter the fakes? - 12/28/2012 5:43:12 AM

TheLilSquaw

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Angelcurvysub

A fake is a person acting or pretending to be a Dom or pretending they are interested but do not go beyond internet chat or even a phone call before an in person meeting is set up.

I laughed when I read this definition of what FAKE is. So anyone who isn't interested in a LTR with you or continued contact is fake? Many people cut off contact because the simply realize the chemistry is not there and rather than wasting any more time or energy then end contact. That doesn't make them fake.

But this is exactly why people can't simply assume that when someone says fake they mean someone is pretending to a woman or a catfish story. Lol

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RE: How to filter the fakes? - 12/28/2012 5:46:35 AM

davidkr

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if picture looks too pretty 90% chance that is fake.. =)

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RE: How to filter the fakes? - 12/28/2012 5:49:53 AM

knownlimits

Posts: 17
Joined: 12/22/2012
Status: offline

greetings,

this may sound vain and cause an eyeroll

..yet loving yourself and knowing your worth will help you be more prepared while seeking someone.
and, as mentioned here before, move on to phone , cam, and dont waste too much time having someone lure you in via email and written chat only.

for definitions sake: i am talking abt fakes like men pretending to be women. dom/mes, vice versa and such....calling someone a fake who just is not what you were expecting is something else imho.

best,
k.

ps: good luck in your search everyone:)

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RE: How to filter the fakes? - 12/28/2012 5:51:16 AM

TheLilSquaw

Posts: 2340
Joined: 10/24/2012
From: Middle River, MD
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quote:

ORIGINAL: davidkr

if picture looks too pretty 90% chance that is fake.. =)

Please tell me this was said tongue to cheek and not a serious statement. Lol

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RE: How to filter the fakes? - 12/28/2012 9:08:58 AM

OsideGirl

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Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Angelcurvysub
A fake is a person acting or pretending to be a Dom or pretending they are interested but do not go beyond internet chat or even a phone call before an in person meeting is set up.

So, basically, if they're not really that into you, they're fake. Gotcha.

I have to tell ya, I've had a bunch of conversations with people that I'm not interested in simply because I didn't want to be rude and say, "Go away". I guess I'm fake too.

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Post #: 36

RE: How to filter the fakes? - 12/28/2012 9:48:43 AM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Angelcurvysub

Let me clear up the "what is a fake" question. A fake is a person acting or pretending to be a Dom or pretending they are interested but do not go beyond internet chat or even a phone call before an in person meeting is set up. I KNOW this is the internet and I put forth great EFFORT and HONESTY and it would be nice to see the same in return. However since it is the internet I realize it is part of the process. It amazes me that a person gives out their phone number with no intention of going beyond 1 phone call.. do they think you won't call again?? Sorry I know I am ranting.. Darksteven you gave the best advice TY. Also thank all of you for your thoughts and feedback.

I'll preface my response by saying I remember your past threads under your old username. You have admitted in the past that you have abandonment issues, and in a couple of those threads someone had gone poof on you. I'm not sure that there are many men out there that can satisfy your contact needs, or are willing to try in the beginning stages of a relationship- it doesn't mean they are fake. If you reread your comment above, it has to do with you not receiving what you need...from a stranger at that point. It has nothing to do with that person being a fake Dominant. This thread is not about the universal application of some measure of fakeness, it has to do with what you need out of a relationship- therefore it has no connection to some group of people that everyone here can label as FAKE.

In other words, you have needs that you want to be met, the needs that you have don't pertain to everyone here on the site. Your standards of what is acceptable behavior from a prospective partner are yours, they are not some code of regulations. You'd have done better to approach this question from a personal point of view and ponder how you can find a good match for yourself, rather than paint everyone who doesn't live up to your standards of contact as being a fake.

You've been told this before, but it bears repeating...everyone has different standards and different needs. All you can do is try to find a good match for yourself. It doesn't seem as though practice is giving you a better filtering process if you are still struggling with the same issues you struggled with all along. It might be good to remember that there is no shortcut. A relationship is a time consuming process. You have to put in the time and effort to see if someone matches up to what you want or not. There isn't any simple litmus test of fakeness, because it's personal to every member on here. You were given good advice on your old threads, I'd go over those again and see if you can't get some of your answers there.

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Post #: 37

RE: How to filter the fakes? - 12/28/2012 10:20:24 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi
I'll preface my response by saying I remember your past threads under your old username. You have admitted in the past that you have abandonment issues, and in a couple of those threads someone had gone poof on you. I'm not sure that there are many men out there that can satisfy your contact needs, or are willing to try in the beginning stages of a relationship- it doesn't mean they are fake. If you reread your comment above, it has to do with you not receiving what you need...from a stranger at that point. It has nothing to do with that person being a fake Dominant. This thread is not about the universal application of some measure of fakeness, it has to do with what you need out of a relationship- therefore it has no connection to some group of people that everyone here can label as FAKE.

In other words, you have needs that you want to be met, the needs that you have don't pertain to everyone here on the site. Your standards of what is acceptable behavior from a prospective partner are yours, they are not some code of regulations. You'd have done better to approach this question from a personal point of view and ponder how you can find a good match for yourself, rather than paint everyone who doesn't live up to your standards of contact as being a fake.

You've been told this before, but it bears repeating...everyone has different standards and different needs. All you can do is try to find a good match for yourself. It doesn't seem as though practice is giving you a better filtering process if you are still struggling with the same issues you struggled with all along. It might be good to remember that there is no shortcut. A relationship is a time consuming process. You have to put in the time and effort to see if someone matches up to what you want or not. There isn't any simple litmus test of fakeness, because it's personal to every member on here. You were given good advice on your old threads, I'd go over those again and see if you can't get some of your answers there.

Thank you for typing out this post, lizi. I was sitting here last night trying to come up with a way that I could reply to the original without sounding rude. You did a much better job than I would have.

OP, there's nothing wrong with wanting what you want, but just because somebody else doesn't want the same thing doesn't make them fake. Being so narrow in the view of real and fake comes across as being very shallow. By your definition, I'm fake because I don't want what you want.

Last time around, you were encouraged to hit some munches and things. I hope that is going well for you.

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RE: How to filter the fakes? - 12/28/2012 2:45:38 PM

theRose4U

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ccc3333

I have actually had an experience like catfish, but thankfully invested minimal time into it... a date that the girl showed up was 180degrees diff thaneverything she claimed to be.

If it's me... i would never invest any significant amount of time without seeing them on skype or webcam... or in person. Ever. Otherwise the longer they put it off, the more they have to hide.

First off not camming with random dom ordering them without standing proves nothing more than yet another would be dom that thinks they can get a cam show without a relationship. (Yes its happened 1000 times before with "fake doms" wanting free porn)...yep that door swings both ways.
As for "fake date" be happy it actually was female...this is the net

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RE: How to filter the fakes? - 12/28/2012 2:51:39 PM

theRose4U

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLilSquaw

quote:

ORIGINAL: davidkr

if picture looks too pretty 90% chance that is fake.. =)

Please tell me this was said tongue to cheek and not a serious statement. Lol

I would go along with it as serious. The spammers..."Go to my site so we can talk/see more pics/cam" usually do have too good to be true pics stolen off the net

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Post #: 40

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