RE: child support case

RE: child support case (Full Version)

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littlewonder -> RE: child support case (1/4/2013 10:28:56 AM)
nice guy I guess. Maybe a little too nice. I get this picture of either a not too bright guy or one of these men who are so nice they always get taken for a ride.

tj444 -> RE: child support case (1/4/2013 11:06:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: theRose4U quote: ORIGINAL: tj444 . if he had just been a one night stand picked up at a bar and given a fake name, his name would not be known and not sued.. I have seen cases where lawyers were seeking "joey with yankee tattoo from x bar june 12" for parental termination & child support. It does happen. no doubt they try.. but how many times do they actually find him? and how many times does he have assets or a job they can garnishee? even if they do find the "stone", can they get blood from it?

tj444 -> RE: child support case (1/4/2013 11:20:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tazzygirl Im not so sure its just the dad getting bit. Looks like dad will now have to pay child support, which gives him visitation rights. I cannot imagine he is happy about any of this. Nor can I imagine the mom is now having a man she never had a relationship with now sharing responsibilities for raising a child. while he may have visitation rights, I sorta doubt he will be visiting the child since that was never his intention.. if the mom was ok with him visiting the child then it would probably be good for the child but if it was really against the mom's wishes, then him visiting will be bad for the child and all involved.. if he did the donation cuz he is a nice guy, then i doubt he would force visitation with all the negative consequences, even if he is paying support.. no, i dont think he is happy about it one bit.. but I am guessing he was named as father on the childs birth certificate.. he should have done his donation entirely anonymously, instead of signing an agreement he thought was protecting him, since it actually outted him.. oh well.. cant put the genie back in the bottle now.. maybe he can write a book about it to offset his "costs".. [:D]

kalikshama -> RE: child support case (1/4/2013 3:12:48 PM)
quote: but I am guessing he was named as father on the childs birth certificate.. Apparently one of the conditions of receiving welfare is coughing up the father's name.

TieMeInKnottss -> RE: child support case (1/4/2013 5:31:47 PM)
Sorry, this is a quick reply...maybe someone hit this. Isn't this the same as anyone giving a child up for adoption? Usually you relinquish all parental rights which includes child support. I agree that the state's should be proactive about finding out who fathers children and then leaves the mothers pregnant or is not on the birth certificate but pays the mother "under the table" so she can still get welfare benefits but if every person who is genetically tied to a baby can be hit up for support, then doesn't that also impact adopted and surrogate...

LafayetteLady -> RE: child support case (1/4/2013 6:15:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ccc3333 i like the comment from one of the yahoo ppl "when will mothers who offer kids up for adoption" be legally held responsible for child support? When a child is put up for adoption or the state terminates the parents' rights, they can't be held responsible for child support. The child is no longer considered theirs. Had this man terminated his parental rights (which he presumably didn't), this case would be different.

tj444 -> RE: child support case (1/4/2013 6:17:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kalikshama quote: but I am guessing he was named as father on the childs birth certificate.. Apparently one of the conditions of receiving welfare is coughing up the father's name. sure if she knows it (his name was on the agreement they drew up).. what do they do when she doesnt know who it was such as a series of one night stands?

LafayetteLady -> RE: child support case (1/4/2013 6:25:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kalikshama quote: but I am guessing he was named as father on the childs birth certificate.. Apparently one of the conditions of receiving welfare is coughing up the father's name. Yes, a condition of receiving cash assistance (welfare) is talking to "child support enforcement," a department (really just a person) in the Social Services office. However, there are times when a waiver can be given. If the other parent (since it could be a female) was abusive, then they aren't supposed to press for the information as it puts parent and child in danger. Also, obviously if the mother had sex with multiple people and can't name the father, there is an issue. But they will ask for the names of the men and do paternity tests on them. The biggest problem here is that the guy was kept informed about the child's well being and had "virtually" no relationship with the child. "Virtually" no relationship means that he HAS had some relationship with the child. Obviously, neither side thought to terminate his parental rights, so basically he is screwed. Not because he tried to do a good deed, but because he was stupid and didn't find out the legal things he needed to do to protect himself.

LafayetteLady -> RE: child support case (1/4/2013 6:27:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TieMeInKnottss Sorry, this is a quick reply...maybe someone hit this. Isn't this the same as anyone giving a child up for adoption? Usually you relinquish all parental rights which includes child support. I agree that the state's should be proactive about finding out who fathers children and then leaves the mothers pregnant or is not on the birth certificate but pays the mother "under the table" so she can still get welfare benefits but if every person who is genetically tied to a baby can be hit up for support, then doesn't that also impact adopted and surrogate... This isn't simply about someone being genetically tied to the child. Parental rights don't seem to have been terminated and while he had "virtually" no contact with the child, he had some contact. This gives the state the "in" for claiming he has acted as a father.

TheBanshee -> RE: child support case (1/4/2013 6:48:50 PM)
Seriously, he donated sperm to women from Craigslist, finding an ad that said they would pay $50. The women weren't particularly discriminating on the process. You aren't going to find those ivy league donors there. There are just some things you don't skimp on. It is completely creepy to get impregnated via Craigslist. Ewwww. I don't think its an anti-lesbian action. They didn't do anything illegal, they can have all the artificially inseminated kids they want via turkey baster method - but they shouldn't collect welfare doing it. I also heard of a case where a guy was held responsible for child support after he and his wife split even after it was discovered he wasn't the biological father - apparently his wife had some indiscretions (maybe why they split?) The court ruled that he was the legal parent even if not the biological one.

LafayetteLady -> RE: child support case (1/4/2013 7:04:01 PM)
Most courts deem the father as the legal parent when the couple is married. It comes down to being an "emotional parent." In all honesty, depending on the child's age, the man has acted as the child's father since birth and is who the child knows as "daddy." The court's rulings are based on the best interest of the children in that the man divorcing the woman has acted as a father and should continue to do so, feeling the child shouldn't lose a parent in the divorce.

TheBanshee -> RE: child support case (1/4/2013 7:10:25 PM)
that was the logic in that case, LafayetteLady, and I see the logic in it, he was the "father" - and it wasn't the child's fault obviously. I just think in that case if he would have been the father figure if he had known from the beginning that he wasn't the biological father. He was deceived into being legally responsible.

Powergamz1 -> RE: child support case (1/4/2013 7:47:12 PM)
Of all the people involved in any child support case, the child has the least ability to control the situation, and the most to lose. That's why men who are proven by DNA to have not been the father might still be ordered to pay... it isn't about what's 'fair' to the adults.

blacksword404 -> RE: child support case (1/4/2013 9:04:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Powergamz1 Of all the people involved in any child support case, the child has the least ability to control the situation, and the most to lose. That's why men who are proven by DNA to have not been the father might still be ordered to pay... it isn't about what's 'fair' to the adults. And having some angry bitter man who isn't really your father be forced to be is? That's about as bad as forcing a woman to raise a child she got by being raped.

Powergamz1 -> RE: child support case (1/4/2013 10:14:03 PM)
Getting raped is the equivalent of a man donating sperm? Let me see if I can remember the way the mods want the debunking phrased... "I just can't understand how anyone could agree with an idea that stupid". I won't stick around for your briliant suggestion as to how an infant is supposed to cough up the adult's share of the money on their own. quote: ORIGINAL: blacksword404 quote: ORIGINAL: Powergamz1 Of all the people involved in any child support case, the child has the least ability to control the situation, and the most to lose. That's why men who are proven by DNA to have not been the father might still be ordered to pay... it isn't about what's 'fair' to the adults. And having some angry bitter man who isn't really your father be forced to be is? That's about as bad as forcing a woman to raise a child she got by being raped.

blacksword404 -> RE: child support case (1/4/2013 11:32:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Powergamz1 Getting raped is the equivalent of a man donating sperm? Let me see if I can remember the way the mods want the debunking phrased... "I just can't understand how anyone could agree with an idea that stupid". I won't stick around for your briliant suggestion as to how an infant is supposed to cough up the adult's share of the money on their own. quote: ORIGINAL: blacksword404 quote: ORIGINAL: Powergamz1 Of all the people involved in any child support case, the child has the least ability to control the situation, and the most to lose. That's why men who are proven by DNA to have not been the father might still be ordered to pay... it isn't about what's 'fair' to the adults. And having some angry bitter man who isn't really your father be forced to be is? That's about as bad as forcing a woman to raise a child she got by being raped. Obviously you didn't read my words properly. Follow along here. Women who get raped and raise the child often have negative feelings toward the child. Especially if the child is male. Sometimes to the point of hate. The child can't help but get the feeling they are not wanted. Which can be very damaging to the child. Making a man who is not that kids parent be its parent against their will will likely have the same effect. You don't fix victim hood by creating another victim.

Powergamz1 -> RE: child support case (1/5/2013 8:23:18 AM)
In the real world, the courts don't force anyone to be the parent, they order monetary support for the needs of the child... thus the name 'child support'. I'll return you to your regularly scheduled fantasy. quote: ORIGINAL: blacksword404 quote: ORIGINAL: Powergamz1 Getting raped is the equivalent of a man donating sperm? Let me see if I can remember the way the mods want the debunking phrased... "I just can't understand how anyone could agree with an idea that stupid". I won't stick around for your briliant suggestion as to how an infant is supposed to cough up the adult's share of the money on their own. quote: ORIGINAL: blacksword404 quote: ORIGINAL: Powergamz1 Of all the people involved in any child support case, the child has the least ability to control the situation, and the most to lose. That's why men who are proven by DNA to have not been the father might still be ordered to pay... it isn't about what's 'fair' to the adults. And having some angry bitter man who isn't really your father be forced to be is? That's about as bad as forcing a woman to raise a child she got by being raped. Obviously you didn't read my words properly. Follow along here. Women who get raped and raise the child often have negative feelings toward the child. Especially if the child is male. Sometimes to the point of hate. The child can't help but get the feeling they are not wanted. Which can be very damaging to the child. Making a man who is not that kids parent be its parent against their will will likely have the same effect. You don't fix victim hood by creating another victim.

searching4mysir -> RE: child support case (1/5/2013 9:26:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: blacksword404 quote: ORIGINAL: Powergamz1 Getting raped is the equivalent of a man donating sperm? Let me see if I can remember the way the mods want the debunking phrased... "I just can't understand how anyone could agree with an idea that stupid". I won't stick around for your briliant suggestion as to how an infant is supposed to cough up the adult's share of the money on their own. quote: ORIGINAL: blacksword404 quote: ORIGINAL: Powergamz1 Of all the people involved in any child support case, the child has the least ability to control the situation, and the most to lose. That's why men who are proven by DNA to have not been the father might still be ordered to pay... it isn't about what's 'fair' to the adults. And having some angry bitter man who isn't really your father be forced to be is? That's about as bad as forcing a woman to raise a child she got by being raped. Obviously you didn't read my words properly. Follow along here. Women who get raped and raise the child often have negative feelings toward the child. Especially if the child is male. Sometimes to the point of hate. The child can't help but get the feeling they are not wanted. Which can be very damaging to the child. Making a man who is not that kids parent be its parent against their will will likely have the same effect. You don't fix victim hood by creating another victim. Have you ever actually talked to these women? I have yet to meet a woman raising a child that was a product of rape to have negative feelings toward the child.

blacksword404 -> RE: child support case (1/5/2013 4:33:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: searching4mysir Have you ever actually talked to these women? I have yet to meet a woman raising a child that was a product of rape to have negative feelings toward the child. You show me a woman that was forced to raise a child a child she had by rape, one she didn't want to keep. And I'll show you a woman that is likely somewhat bitter towards the child.

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: child support case (1/5/2013 4:53:28 PM)
There's plenty of stories on Google that show both sides of the fence. What abhors me most of all is a society where the woman is often forced to marry the rapist because the honour of the family is more important than the individual who has been violated. It is my perception that this sort of thing happens almost exclusively in Islamic cultures. Personally, I feel the biological father is the person that should usually pay their fair share towards the upkeep and maintenance of their offspring. In this particular case, I'm torn between the foolish donor and his "good deed", and the other woman in the "marriage" who originally agreed with the mother to have the child in the first place. To me, they are both equally to blame in some respect. The mother and partner to deliberately skirt round the laws and the donor for not checking first. Just my [sm=2cents.gif]

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