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RE: Does a slave have this right in your opinion? - 1/7/2013 9:07:06 AM   
TheLilSquaw


Posts: 2340
Joined: 10/24/2012
From: Middle River, MD
Status: offline 		Kezzo,

Slavery, true / historical slavery isn't consensual and it's not legal.
What you have with your slave is her consenting to behave in a certain manner.
To behave in a manner that is pleasing to YOU.
That is far from the same thing as true /historical slavery.
So even you aren't practicing slavery by it's truest definition.

So I find it amusing that you come here and tell other's that what they practice isn't TRUE slavery. You are right, they aren't taking anyone by force nor are they forcing someone to due anything.

If that is what you are doing, sorry to break it to you aren't practicing BDSM.


As a US citizen, I can't give up my civil and legal rights.
I can make the choice to not enforce them.
I can make the choice to submit to someone else, that doesn't mean that those rights don't exist.
They do, as long as I am a US citizen.




< Message edited by TheLilSquaw -- 1/7/2013 9:08:29 AM >

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(in reply to kezzo)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Does a slave have this right in your opinion? - 1/7/2013 1:57:36 PM   
Blankpain


Posts: 127
Joined: 5/20/2010
Status: offline 		Slavery is what you make of it.

(in reply to TheLilSquaw)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Does a slave have this right in your opinion? - 1/7/2013 3:45:24 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kezzo

I am amazed by what I read
but then we are all different
a slave is a slave anything else is a different definition ,,, I do encourage her to think ,,but her thoughts are all based on what is best for ME.
I like a clean tidy home ,,laundry done each day and ironed ,,,dinner ready at 7 pm breakfast at 7 am ..I go out for midday meal.. she wears what I tell her ,,,she is naked when I am home. I purchase ALL her clothes. she does not use the phone unless for emergencies.
she is my slave


Well I'm looking at my dictionary and def #2 says "one that is completely subservient to a dominating influence.". So what's your point?

It's awesome that you have what you want in a slave. My owner wants something a bit different. See how that works? :)

Personally I'm not all that attached to the word. I love him, I do what he wants, and we're happy. I don't care what someone calls that. Why do you?

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(in reply to kezzo)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Does a slave have this right in your opinion? - 1/7/2013 5:05:05 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida


quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl


I think its also important to ask.... the moment a slave says "no", is she still your slave?

Well over here, the moment I say "no" (and I have, on a couple of occasions) is the moment the breaks screech and we figure out what's going wrong.

Cuz, like Kana, he doesn't bat 1000% either. And his ego is not so huge as to deny the idea that he might be wrong about something. If I say no to something (other than something like, "are we out of milk?"), then that's a flag that something is wrong. Whether I'm still considered his slave in the moment or not doesn't really matter - what matters is getting us back on track in the right direction, and fixing whatever just happened.


Oh, I agree with the breaks... but in that moment... when she says "no" she isnt a slave.... Im not saying the relationship is gone, trashed, beyond repair... but she (and it could just as easily be a he) is making a determination for herself, autonomously, without regard for the owner's desires/demands.

I find the word "no" a great way to start a discussion. But, for years I heard.. a slave never says "no"... and I always said... wanna bet?

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Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Does a slave have this right in your opinion? - 1/7/2013 5:32:08 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl


Oh, I agree with the breaks... but in that moment... when she says "no" she isnt a slave.... Im not saying the relationship is gone, trashed, beyond repair... but she (and it could just as easily be a he) is making a determination for herself, autonomously, without regard for the owner's desires/demands.


Unless his desires/demands are for her to look out for herself when he has unintentionally failed to.

quote:


I find the word "no" a great way to start a discussion. But, for years I heard.. a slave never says "no"... and I always said... wanna bet?

I know of several women who are slaves and who say no. Their masters want it that way. Ultimately, they do get to "yes," but that's how their relationships are set up. It's just not up to me to tell them they're doing it wrong. What do I get out of that, anyway?


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Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Does a slave have this right in your opinion? - 1/7/2013 6:32:00 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
I find the word "no" a great way to start a discussion. But, for years I heard.. a slave never says "no"... and I always said... wanna bet?


Master's view is that if he requested something and I knew it was going to go wrong and didn't say "No", he'd seriously start to re-evaluate our relationship.


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The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Does a slave have this right in your opinion? - 1/7/2013 6:34:35 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		With Master it's easy. If I think it's going to go wrong, I explain to him why. I don't just say no. He wants to know why I think that way. Just because I say no because I'm afraid or because it will hurt or embarrass me or something not all that bad will happen, is not a reason for him. Once I give my explanation it's up to him to decide what to do with that information.


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Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Does a slave have this right in your opinion? - 1/7/2013 6:43:08 PM   
ForeverGaia


Posts: 43
Joined: 11/5/2011
Status: offline 		Needlesandpins - I don't think one needs to identify as a slave to ask why, that's the beauty of being part of a community; finding out what other people do and why it works for them.

As to the OP's question, I disagree - I have rights within my relationship with my Owner and he wants it that way.

Gaia.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Does a slave have this right in your opinion? - 1/7/2013 6:46:33 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
I find the word "no" a great way to start a discussion. But, for years I heard.. a slave never says "no"... and I always said... wanna bet?


Master's view is that if he requested something and I knew it was going to go wrong and didn't say "No", he'd seriously start to re-evaluate our relationship.



lol... so would I. Sometimes, no is the appropriate answer. But, heaven forbid, a slave utter that word. You end up with posters like the m an I initially addressed who has the fantasy that slave means one thing and one thing only.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Does a slave have this right in your opinion? - 1/7/2013 7:36:35 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
I think its also important to ask.... the moment a slave says "no", is she still your slave?

If used as a method to indicate her desire to not obey then yeah. If used in any of the billion and one other contexts that word comes up then no.

I'm a bit unclear on whether kezzo actually has a SLAVE or not. His profile says he's currently looking for submissive women and sub/sub couples. I interpret his post to mean, "The theoretical SLAVE he doesn't have"

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

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Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Does a slave have this right in your opinion? - 1/7/2013 8:14:25 PM   
seekingreality


Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
I find the word "no" a great way to start a discussion. But, for years I heard.. a slave never says "no"... and I always said... wanna bet?


Master's view is that if he requested something and I knew it was going to go wrong and didn't say "No", he'd seriously start to re-evaluate our relationship.



lol... so would I. Sometimes, no is the appropriate answer. But, heaven forbid, a slave utter that word. You end up with posters like the m an I initially addressed who has the fantasy that slave means one thing and one thing only.


Also, this is another of those semantic things. Some people see a word like "slave," and they get all hot and bother, imagining it can only be defined in one very narrow way. They refuse to acknowledge that even someone who identies as slave is an individual with different thoughts, needs, and requirements than someone else who uses that word to describe themselves. Heck, one person who describes themselves as "slave" might have more limits than the next person who describes themselves as "submissive." That's why it's important to focus on individuals, not titles.

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Does a slave have this right in your opinion? - 1/7/2013 8:33:23 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I personally think labels are important in identifying what exactly you are. Unfortunately though, there is no consensus on the differences between certain words or much of anything. For me, a slave has no limits except for those of its Master but as you said, others see the word as meaning something else and that imo, is what causes troubles in dating on bdsm sites like this.


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Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Does a slave have this right in your opinion? - 1/7/2013 10:39:56 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		I can only define myself. How someone chooses to define me makes all the difference in that relationship working. For me, thats a bonus. But that is only for me. For others, it may not be.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Does a slave have this right in your opinion? - 1/7/2013 11:32:33 PM   
kezzo


Posts: 21
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		I agree with Lilwonder....
It is interesting to see that that most have their own ideas as to what slavery is.
I am also amazed at how people take your opinion and feel personally affronted by it.
Jeff ... I do not have a slave at present... I have been on extensive travel in europe for the last few years, but have enjoyed many casual D/s friendships on my travels of which several have become good friends... these lil stopovres are nothing like the intensity one gets from a permanent D/s relationship.
Life continues
nice to see so many people respond
have a great day

Kezzo

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Does a slave have this right in your opinion? - 1/8/2013 12:02:22 AM   
seekingreality


Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I personally think labels are important in identifying what exactly you are. Unfortunately though, there is no consensus on the differences between certain words or much of anything. For me, a slave has no limits except for those of its Master but as you said, others see the word as meaning something else and that imo, is what causes troubles in dating on bdsm sites like this.



The trouble is labels don't identify exactly who someone is. Labels like dominant, submissive, slave, etc. only provide broad classifications. But that's fine. Then all that matters is the person.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Does a slave have this right in your opinion? - 1/8/2013 2:12:51 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		yes I know seeking, that's why I said about definitions but unfortunately, everyone has their own definitions of what those words mean since no one in bdsm seems to want to have defined words. It seems to me that over the years, bdsm has become very PC. It doesn't really matter to me really anymore since I'm now in a relationship but when I was single I found it incredibly difficult since I'm kinda "old school" and back then, yeah, slave had one definition. We all knew what it meant and what a slave is. I'm talking about in real life and not the internet. But once I became single, the bdsm dating world had changed and basically definitions for the words went out of style and any word now means whatever you want it to mean. So during that time of being single, it was hard to hook up without going round and round with definitions until you both could really figure out if something as simple as if someone is a dom, top, kink player, switch, etc....I felt like my head was swimming because I couldn't keep up anymore on what someone was and what it all actually meant.

I dunno. Like I said I'm sorta old school, came about this over 15 years ago and now the world has turned PC. And ya know, it's not just bdsm anymore. lol

I feel like my grandparents.


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Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Does a slave have this right in your opinion? - 1/8/2013 8:41:53 AM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		lol.... had my first pair of handcuffs over 30 years ago... and I am still learning. People change, definitions change, I have changed. My own definitions have broadened on some things, narrowed on others, and some were just filed beneath... "Eh, whatever makes you happy"

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Does a slave have this right in your opinion? - 1/8/2013 9:44:00 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC
I'm a bit unclear on whether kezzo actually has a SLAVE or not. His profile says he's currently looking for submissive women and sub/sub couples. I interpret his post to mean, "The theoretical SLAVE he doesn't have"


So, we're back to the single person telling everyone in successful relationships that we're doing it wrong.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Does a slave have this right in your opinion? - 1/8/2013 9:50:20 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
So, we're back to the single person telling everyone in successful relationships that we're doing it wrong.

That. But also we're back to a person who is not actually in a situation declaring how they would theoretically behave if they were yet stating it as fact. I'd be happier with such statements if they came in the form of, "When I collar my slave...." I think it's terribly misleading to people to read such assertions and have it not be clear that they are entirely theoretical.

Man, I've often wished we had some sort of magical counter that would append stuff to the bottom of everyone's posting like...

"never actually owned a slave" or "never made a relationship work for more than 2 years" or...


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Does a slave have this right in your opinion? - 1/8/2013 9:57:07 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

But also we're back to a person who is not actually in a situation declaring how they would theoretically behave if they were yet stating it as fact. I'd be happier with such statements if they came in the form of, "When I collar my slave...." I think it's terribly misleading to people to read such assertions and have it not be clear that they are entirely theoretical.

Man, I've often wished we had some sort of magical counter that would append stuff to the bottom of everyone's posting like...

"never actually owned a slave" or "never made a relationship work for more than 2 years" or...



That reminds me of a pillow my mother had while I was young: Child raising theories end with the first child.

I'd love the counter idea. It would help everyone cut through the BS that some so-called experts throw about.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 60
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