RE: An ethical/moral question.

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RE: An ethical/moral question. - 1/13/2013 1:06:57 AM

meatcleaver

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People will do what people will do, people always rationalise and tailor their morals to fit their behaviour. People will be ademantly against cheating until they meet someone they can't resist. Surprisingly the research tells us women are more likely to stray than men by a ratio of 3:2.

Basically we still live in a puritan age and have done since Victorian times, before then marriage was really a property contract between the rich and the majority of society never bothered because there was no property to consider, men and women appeared to change partners relatively easy. The wife sales of the 18th century were actually about women who had found a new man, not the husband selling the wife. Fetishes were widespread and quite open.

Despite what conservative politicians tell us, marriage and the family are not the bedrock on which western society is built, for the majorty, things have been a lot more fluid than that, marriage and family is more about social control than relationships. I get the impression from most people I know and meet, their marriage is a habit, they want the security but not the drudgery.

Have I been with married women. Yes. It is nothing to do with me if the woman I'm scening with is married, it is her marriage and it is her choice.

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RE: An ethical/moral question. - 1/13/2013 1:12:25 AM

Muttling

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Joined: 9/30/2007
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I find it intriguing that you title this as a question, but only use periods in the completion of your sentences.

Are you truly seeing to hear what others have to say or using the title as a way to justify making a statement of your own views?

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RE: An ethical/moral question. - 1/13/2013 11:03:40 PM

Rule

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Joined: 12/5/2005
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quote:

8:3 And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst,
8:4 They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.
8:5 Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?
8:6 This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not.
8:7 So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.
8:8 And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground.
8:9 And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.
8:10 When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?
8:11 She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.

John 7:8.3-8.11

I so declare unequivocally: Anyone who does not get this, is a savage without grace.

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"I tend to pay attention when Rule speaks" - Aswad

"You are sweet, kind, and ever so smart, Rule. You ALWAYS stretch my mind and make me think further than I might have on my own" - Duskypearls

Si vis pacem, para bellum.

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RE: An ethical/moral question. - 1/14/2013 2:40:46 PM

leonine

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In principle: No, I don't lie and I don't support others' lying. (As another of those dreaded polys, I agree that if it's honest and open, there's no problem.)

In practice... I met a sub who was living apart from her husband and said it was over with them. I got deep in with her. (Pun intended.)

Then she moved back in with him... said it was just while she got over a family crisis. But she didn't tell him about us. And I didn't get out.

And she stayed with him. And she went on lying to him. And I didn't get out.

Then she started lying to me too. Then I got out.

It's easy to talk your way round your principles when you're hung up on someone.

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Gonna pack in my hand, pick up on a piece of land and build myself a cabin in the woods.
It's there I'm gonna stay, until there comes a day when this old world starts a-changing for the good.
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RE: An ethical/moral question. - 1/14/2013 9:43:45 PM

EsotericLady

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muhly22222??

I would like to address (just) the paragraph below from your entire post if I might.

Not everyone needs to use discretion because of a husband/fiancee/significant other. Someone who is in the public eye a lot, is a business owner, involves themselves in many public events, perhaps their family name is well-known,it would put their job in jeopardy...there are all kinds of honest, legitimate reasons for being discreet.

I'm not interested in being in a position where I could be the cause of someone's marriage break up, the cause of children alienating a parent, or the reason for anyone's unrest.

(Thank you)

quote:

ORIGINAL: muhly22222

However, when I see profiles where the woman talks about "needing to be discreet" or is more upfront and just says she's going behind her husband's/fiancee's/significant other's back, I can only shake my head. And hide the profile, naturally. Even if they do end their current relationship, I'm not going to be interested in somebody who I know has that sort of character.

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RE: An ethical/moral question. - 1/14/2013 9:48:54 PM

EsotericLady

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You mean I'm not alone in this?
It's a curse I tell you Servos...a CURSE!!!! LMAO

quote:

ORIGINAL: ServosCor

Damn... the longer I live, the more often my mother WAS right!

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RE: An ethical/moral question. - 1/14/2013 10:30:23 PM

nephandi

Posts: 4470
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From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
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Greetings

Well I think morality is very individual and I do not think there is a universal right or wrong, good an evil, so I can only answer from the point of view of my own personal morality here.

quote:

Is it ethical for a sub or slave to look for play partners or as one lady put it, "something more." while their husband knows nothing of her activities?

No I do not think it is ethical to cheat on your partner, do not think it is more unethical however if said couple is married or if they are just together, a relationship is built on trust so if one is going to look for play partners one should the the consent of one's husband, wife, lover, whatever one got, and if one get a no when one have the choice of either leaving the relationship and then seek out a play partner or one will just have to live with not having that something more. It is never okey to cheat on your partner even if you have a desire to do BDSM and your current partner do not, either ask permission, just do not do it, or leave.

quote:

And as a master or dom, would you want to get involved with a sub/slave who is being dishonest in her marriage?

I am not a Master or a Dom I am a submissive woman, but I have rejected play partners (yes that I have had contact with Aswad's blessing.) because they where in a relationship and where going behind their partner's back, I have no interest in becoming the other woman, could love drive me to it? Possibly but just to get a play partner, no I would not do that.

I wish you well

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Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Futon torpedoes, make love not war!--Aswad

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