KnightofMists
Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: con8ken
Thanks for questioning me as it helps me with working things out in my own head.
I've not seen the cheese grater thing, thanks for that image tho lol.
I never meant to imply that all people and every aspect of BDSM are weird, Im taking about the being owned crap, having slaves and using them whenever you want whether they like it or not (in my eyes is abuse ), the objectifying, the terminology and rigmarole, the participating in brutal acts, when i say brutal i understand its a matter of opinion.the fantasies some have, talking about being "raped" flippantly like it would be fun, maybe they think it might be, but the real act against a real victim and what they are imagining, ones real and ones not, I understand they associate it with loss of control, non consent, pain, abuse etc but in reality the true nature of those feelings and the fantasy do not equate, which it seems a lot of people don't get.
I never meant to imply that all Dom's are abusers, I'm talking about the sadists who get of on inflicting as much pain as they can get away with, they actual act of causing someone pain looking at them seeing them bruised, weeping, its sick, and whether the person receiving in likes it and has consented to it or not its not right and weird, as I said IMHO.
I came onto this site after chatting with a woman on another site, turned out she was a sub, after chatting She explained a bit about being a sub. Saying that a D/s relationship would better than any vanilla, I mentioned I've never given BDSM any thought, to which she recommended this site. I've done some reading on the net and read some profiles/ chatted to a few people, a
I can't get my head around why someone would want to be a sub/slave and put up with the things they do. I understand not everyone is they same, its the overall terminology and language used around it that I don't like either.
Anyway......
quote:
I never meant to imply that all Dom's are abusers, I'm talking about the sadists who get of on inflicting as much pain as they can get away with, they actual act of causing someone pain looking at them seeing them bruised, weeping, its sick, and whether the person receiving in likes it and has consented to it or not its not right and weird, as I said IMHO.
LOL.... well... seems I am the exact person that you think is sick and an abuser. I am rather well known in my community has a rather sadistc person. I am also a person that have three partners that I do array of things too. After all I own them!
I not interested in trying to change your view point... in fact I find your view humourous and rather narrowminded. My one girl has been with me for almost 26 years. My other partner has been with me almost 8 years and well my 3rd partner is a newbie relationship as we have only been building our relationship for a couple of months now. Oh just to be clear... these are all relationships that are ongoing and each partner is fully aware of each other. In fact, I generally sleep in between two of them every night and before we go to sleep... all four of us spend time talking before sleep time. Yeah I live with two and one lives apart from us.
Maybe I am the exception to your rule! I do agree that everyone is entitled to their opinions and view points. But experience has taught me that generally that means lots of people are entitled to be narrowminded and arrogant. Having an informed opinion seems to be a rare thing and an openmind is even rarer.
But, I am not one that believes one should respect the opinions of others. Some people's opinions are just not worthy of respect. For example, I just have absolutely no respect for the neo-nazi view point of things. In general, I just don't have respect for those who are of a narrowminded perception. I suppose I am very narrowminded on narrormindedness..... mmmm now I wonder if I should respect myself ;)
You are right you have much to learn.. but unfortunately, sometimes learning successfully is as much depend on who you learn from as what questions you ask. I am one that don't have alot of care for the common views that are spouted on the internet on this lifestyle. Infact, trying to learn about this lifestyle via the internet is like trying to understand what is in a house while you are a block away. For the most part, what you learn from the internet can be questionable at best or absolutely stupid at worse. The hard part is actually learning who you can actually learn from. There are some on the boards here that I would say can give you some really good view points. Balance and thoughtful responses to your queries... but others are well... just empty of reason or rationality. So, as someone uninformed, I would be surprized that you wouldn't have some bitter taste in your mouth for some of things you hear.
The best thing I suggest is ask your questions and get a variety of opinions on a given topic. But also very carefully consider who you listen to as well. I find it amazing and even ridiculus when I see someone giving relationship advice when their history shows them to be a revolving door to relationships. Those type of people can only give you an informed opinion on how to do it wrong. Which I is important and valid if that is actually what they shared. But seldom that is the case. So besides knowing the questions to ask, know who to listen to.
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Knight of Mists
An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.
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RE: New to bdsm and find a lot of it weird?? - 
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