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RE: Can someone explain? - 1/23/2013 4:10:00 PM

heartfeltsub

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Thank you LafayetteLady, I really appreciate that.

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RE: Can someone explain? - 1/23/2013 4:11:35 PM

heartfeltsub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

You are welcome. I think we've all had those wtf moments. Wondering how we misread the person. And yanno, you are just a kinder, more gentle soul than I and care more I do.

With online stuff I am pretty....not necessarily heartless, but less emotionally invested I guess. And for this very reason. Early on in my internet wanderings I got burned similar to what you've experienced. It taught me to be a lot less 'give a damn' about the people I interact with online.

I try not to get attached online or on phone but apparently I screwed up some this time. Thank you again for your reply.

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Post #: 42

RE: Can someone explain? - 1/23/2013 4:12:49 PM

LafayetteLady

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No problem. I think we have had some hopeful relationship that went inexplicably (at least to us) wrong. It doesn't make it hurt less.

Look on the bright side, it could have been a lot worse. You could have abandoned, your home, vehicle, family and moved across country hoping to live happily after and then had this happen.

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RE: Can someone explain? - 1/23/2013 6:23:24 PM

LookieNoNookie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

I know that I am whining and normally I wouldn't ask a question like this but I really am confused. Have been talking with a D-type where there was a great deal of chemistry and similarity of both kinks and "regular" life and then out of the blue he says that he is starting to date a vanilla woman and is leaving the lifestyle. He is, of course, not being honest with her about his lifestyle desires. And he has already told me that he has tried this before and it didn't work because after about a year he couldn't stay away from his lifestyle desires anymore.

So the question is this why would someone do that, choose to begin a relationship where they will have to hide about half of who they are and build it all on a lie?

Thanks in advance,
heartfelt

D-Type...must have been into Deuteronomy.

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Post #: 44

RE: Can someone explain? - 1/23/2013 11:32:02 PM

descrite

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It's possible that he's falling victim to the same kind of self-loathing other ostracized minorities have felt for generations, while they were shunned in polite society.

If we could harness all the kids sired by closeted gay guys trying to prove they were Family Men, we could build us some wicked-cool new pyramids in, like, a week. And that would be just using the Republicans.

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RE: Can someone explain? - 3/28/2013 8:30:35 AM

heartfeltsub

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FR:

Actually what I came to find out after he hid his profile for a couple of weeks and then returned and tried to start things up again, was that most of you were very correct, he was and is an incredibly good liar and not someone I should ever have trusted. Thank you again for all your replies, just wanted to give you an update.

heartfelt

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Post #: 46

RE: Can someone explain? - 3/28/2013 10:08:57 AM

peppermint

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Maybe it's because he loves her and loves being with her. Maybe it's because they have so much in common. I know a guy who did this. They have been happily married for nearly 7 years now.

< Message edited by peppermint -- 3/28/2013 10:23:39 AM >

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RE: Can someone explain? - 3/28/2013 10:20:37 AM

evesgrden

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quote:

I don't normally do stuff like this, but this has shaken my faith in my ability to read people and if I could be this wrong, then I have no business looking at all until I figure out how I could be this wrong.

This is the risk of what can happen when you get to know someone on the internet. Your ability to read people has not changed because you haven't met him yet; that's when you can form an opinion. What you learned here was that no matter how well you think you know someone from online, it's still fantasyville. There's only so much you can glean from words; it's easy to be compatible and have chemistry and be perfect for each other when it's just you, the monitor and the keyboard.

I don't know how long the two of you have been talking, but nothing beats having a coffee in person as early on as possible. It's so much more revealing and there'll be less chance of having the rug pulled out from under you.

good luck

< Message edited by evesgrden -- 3/28/2013 10:21:48 AM >

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RE: Can someone explain? - 3/28/2013 10:40:23 AM

SailingBum

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Can someone explain. No. Bottom line is he is just not that into you. You can analyze this from today until tomorrow and still not understand someone else's motives. It's pointless so why waste your time???

BadOne

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RE: Can someone explain? - 3/28/2013 12:11:06 PM

heartfeltsub

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I am no longer wasting my time. I had already come to the conclusion that the person was just a liar, probably married. So no longer wasting my time trying to understand why someone would lie, I understand that one very well indeed.

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Life is an exciting business, and most exciting when it is lived for others.

Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.

Life is either a great adventure or nothing.

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RE: Can someone explain? - 3/28/2013 12:15:00 PM

SailingBum

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That's Great!!!

BadOne

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