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Perhaps 50 Shades has done some good - 1/22/2013 3:36:57 PM

susie

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This was a big surprise in the UK news

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2266318/Steven-Lock-guilty-Fifty-Shades-Of-Grey-attack-partner-signed-sex-slave-contract.html

Perhaps Fifty Shades has changed some attitudes to BDSM in the UK.

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RE: Perhaps 50 Shades has done some good - 1/22/2013 4:22:26 PM

littlewonder

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Obviously she never even bothered to check him out and find out he has two other assault arrests. While I guess you could say 50 Shades is helping because of this story, but to me this story proves just the opposite. It puts romantic notions in people's heads and they park their brains outside the door instead of doing their homework. Personally, I think the book makes people stupid.

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RE: Perhaps 50 Shades has done some good - 1/22/2013 4:23:22 PM

ARIES83

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Haha!
"And like the sands through the hourglass... "

I'm actually very interested in peoples opinions
on that article.

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RE: Perhaps 50 Shades has done some good - 1/22/2013 4:27:37 PM

kalikshama

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What I find odd is that they'd been seeing each other for a year. If someone's going to go too far, I usually know this very soon.

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RE: Perhaps 50 Shades has done some good - 1/22/2013 4:29:29 PM

sexyred1

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I disagree. You can know someone a while before they feel comfortable enough to "go too far".

When I first met my ex, he knew nothing about this, so proceeded with caution in what we did.

He only had the nerve much later on to do and go overboard on things, once we were together a long time.

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RE: Perhaps 50 Shades has done some good - 1/22/2013 4:30:49 PM

littlewonder

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It sounds to me like neither knew what they were doing. He went too far, she panicked. Neither one communicated on exactly what the other meant. For her it was all sheer romantic fantasy. For him, it was sadist sex play. They both had different ideas on what that contract meant it seems.

I don't think the first year they did any kind of kink. I don't think they did anything like that until they both read the book. They probably thought it would spice up their sex lives.

Unfortunately, books like this can cause that. It gets all these romantic notions in their heads but in reality it's much, much, much, different.

< Message edited by littlewonder -- 1/22/2013 4:31:37 PM >

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RE: Perhaps 50 Shades has done some good - 1/22/2013 4:44:26 PM

cordeliasub

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I'm not a big 50 Shades fan, but apparently they didn't read it very closely.....can we say SAFE WORD???

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RE: Perhaps 50 Shades has done some good - 1/22/2013 4:45:47 PM

Jaquin

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Any given story could have been the focus of this case, it is hardly the fact that it is 50 shades that makes it a help or hindrance. The fact is that she's a moron and he's abusive - and I'm not sure about him. Yes it says he has former assault charges but perhaps those are from previous bdsm relationships where the woman has suddenly been disillusioned of the romantic notion that stories gave her. Exactly like this article.

If he had been convicted it would be another mark against him, and all because she wasn't ready for the real world of s/m or bdsm in general. Now yes he could be lying through his teeth and he could be a bit "to mean" but he says he didn't want to make her cry and that she had a safeword she didn't use. That to me sounds like decent normal bdsm play - and it was her doing that caused her to go outside her comfort zone and then cry wolf because of it.

The article shows both good and bad thanks to 50 shades. Bad because this woman is clearly deluded about the lifestyle. But good because this man, who from what I can gather was practicing consensual and safe bdsm, got exonerated thanks to a juries greater awareness of bdsm - thanks to 50 shades popularity.

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RE: Perhaps 50 Shades has done some good - 1/22/2013 4:59:19 PM

LadyPact

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So we're saying it's a good thing now for somebody to put an implement in their hand without knowing the extent of damage it can do, and the courts are cool with it.

And people wonder why some older leather folks go underground.

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RE: Perhaps 50 Shades has done some good - 1/22/2013 5:07:24 PM

Toysinbabeland

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perhaps

farhenheit 451 wasn't such a bad idea....

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RE: Perhaps 50 Shades has done some good - 1/22/2013 5:16:02 PM

SomethingCatchy

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If she thought she was going to get smacked around playfully she shouldn't have signed a SLAVE contract that said she can be punished for poor performance. I'm glad the guy wasn't found guilty. It is his fault for getting mixed up with a lunatic, but it's also her fault for being a lunatic.

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RE: Perhaps 50 Shades has done some good - 1/22/2013 6:46:35 PM

LafayetteLady

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jaquin

Any given story could have been the focus of this case, it is hardly the fact that it is 50 shades that makes it a help or hindrance. The fact is that she's a moron and he's abusive - and I'm not sure about him. Yes it says he has former assault charges but perhaps those are from previous bdsm relationships where the woman has suddenly been disillusioned of the romantic notion that stories gave her. Exactly like this article.

I can honestly and with 100% certainty say that if his two other assault charges were also by women he was in BDSM relationships with, it is him, not them. I can see there being confusion once, but three times? Not a chance.

quote:

If he had been convicted it would be another mark against him, and all because she wasn't ready for the real world of s/m or bdsm in general. Now yes he could be lying through his teeth and he could be a bit "to mean" but he says he didn't want to make her cry and that she had a safeword she didn't use. That to me sounds like decent normal bdsm play - and it was her doing that caused her to go outside her comfort zone and then cry wolf because of it.

If he didn't mean "to make her cry," he would have stopped when she started crying.

quote:

The article shows both good and bad thanks to 50 shades. Bad because this woman is clearly deluded about the lifestyle. But good because this man, who from what I can gather was practicing consensual and safe bdsm, got exonerated thanks to a juries greater awareness of bdsm - thanks to 50 shades popularity.

If that is what you gathered from the article, well, if it happens to you someday, I hope you don't waste time reporting it.

Honestly, this just shows that while people may be more aware that BDSM exists, it proves they are still clueless as to how it works in the real world outside of books.

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RE: Perhaps 50 Shades has done some good - 1/22/2013 9:31:52 PM

LdyPayne

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I have only read the first book in the 50 Shades trilogy but I found Anastasia very unreal. She acts more like a 14 year old most of the time, is lazy (did only a little research then never bothered looking further) bounces between totally naive and idiotic and out right bratty. He's a bit more believable but not what I would call a good 'Dom'. Has too many issues. The contract with limitations and safewords was more like contracts and agreements I have read and seen online and in the few play parties I attended. At all times the submissive could call an end to the agreement. In truth, everything was in the submissive power to control. She could end any play session...even the actual contract.

The real life court case, seems more a Dom who got carried away and a submissive who didn't immediately use a safe word.

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RE: Perhaps 50 Shades has done some good - 1/22/2013 10:05:15 PM

theRose4U

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

So we're saying it's a good thing now for somebody to put an implement in their hand without knowing the extent of damage it can do, and the courts are cool with it.

And people wonder why some older leather folks go underground.

Hell stupid stuff like that in US has me thinking a big move is in order

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RE: Perhaps 50 Shades has done some good - 1/22/2013 10:43:24 PM

littlewonder

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I have a feeling a move isn't going to help unless it's to another planet or a deserted island. I'll take the deserted island.

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RE: Perhaps 50 Shades has done some good - 1/22/2013 11:27:47 PM

AthenaSurrenders

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Obviously she never even bothered to check him out and find out he has two other assault arrests. While I guess you could say 50 Shades is helping because of this story, but to me this story proves just the opposite. It puts romantic notions in people's heads and they park their brains outside the door instead of doing their homework. Personally, I think the book makes people stupid.

There really is no way to check this out in the UK.

I dunno how I feel about it. The article certainly makes it sound like she didn't enjoy her fantasy and spit her dummy out. BUT the daily mail is notoriously sensationalist and incredibly biased as far as papers go, so since I wasn't in the courtroom I'm going to try and reserve judgment.

As for the book, it is a cheesy romance novel. Maybe it does inspire idiots to get kinky, but they were likely to do something stupid in the end anyway. What's that quote? 'Movies don't create psychos, movies make psychos more creative'.

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RE: Perhaps 50 Shades has done some good - 1/23/2013 4:53:19 AM

Moonhead

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FR:
Maybe she should have read The Bottoming Book instead...

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RE: Perhaps 50 Shades has done some good - 1/23/2013 7:53:58 AM

Moonlightmaddnes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LdyPayne

I have only read the first book in the 50 Shades trilogy but I found Anastasia very unreal. She acts more like a 14 year old most of the time, is lazy (did only a little research then never bothered looking further) bounces between totally naive and idiotic and out right bratty. He's a bit more believable but not what I would call a good 'Dom'. Has too many issues. The contract with limitations and safewords was more like contracts and agreements I have read and seen online and in the few play parties I attended. At all times the submissive could call an end to the agreement. In truth, everything was in the submissive power to control. She could end any play session...even the actual contract.

The real life court case, seems more a Dom who got carried away and a submissive who didn't immediately use a safe word.

I suffered through all three books. I paid for them so I would suffer through them. He is just plain creepy. He sees his subs as his dead abusive mother and is taking his anger at his abuse out on them. Creepy.

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RE: Perhaps 50 Shades has done some good - 1/23/2013 8:57:18 AM

cordeliasub

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I read all three as well. Frankly, if I were a Dominant I would have been kind of insulted by the insinuation that he'd have to be disturbed with issues and a bad past to do what he did. Makes it seem like people who are involved in BDSM must be "broken."

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RE: Perhaps 50 Shades has done some good - 1/23/2013 9:05:37 AM

Moonlightmaddnes

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Yeah, and the woman who taught him when he was a minor and his mother's supposed friend. There are just too many levels of wrong in those books.

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