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masterJforyou -> What does bottom vs sub vs slave mean to you? (1/27/2013 5:30:43 PM)
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To be honest in my 15 years as an active dom (remember being turned on by the image of a chained Dejah Thoris on a John Carter novel as a kid, not to mention all those pre-raphelite princesses chained up for dragons) I haven't spent much time in forums like this or reading lifestyle literature. So these terms are pretty interchangeable to me. I notice in the discussions here a lot of subs seem to draw a distinction between the various terms in the title - what do hey mean to you? How would you describe my various 'slaves' below?
My first 'slave' was my first proper extramarital relationship (as opposed to one night stand), she was an ex UN translator who worked for me during a trip to Korea and we clicked. That intended no strings relationship started with me asking her her fantasies - she mentioned bondage and we didn't look back. Soon she was calling herself my happy slave - we fell in love as neither of us were trying not to. But in fact we only practiced light bondage, a bit of role play, public sex and very light spanking. The relationship lasted 4 years with her being monogamous to me of her own choice whilst knowing I was not - though she was always number two after my wife in my affections and she knew all my other sex partners were casual 'bed warmers' as she put it.
My next six long (1 to 3 year) relationships were with girls found on AFF. All but one has answered to 'slave' and all have said they 'belong' to me despite all being part time relationships (I was only seeing them for at most 2 weeks in eight and often less as they overlapped - my two main Kl girls we're friends but sadly not bi - so they shared me, arranging between them to be sure one was available for me every night and getting halfl a weekend each on average.)
The first of these two was a true slave in my view - she was a young Indian girl, Licks was just 23 when I met her to my mid to late 40's, new to the lifestyle but wanted to try everything she could and over the 3 years I owned her we did just that, within the constraints of a 'travelling Dom' - I cut my teath on her as it were. I freed her when she wanted to get engaged and resume a vanilla life.
Her friend, maly and older - early 30's - was defiantly submissive in her nature and preferred doggy style rough sex - answered to 'my bitch' but not slave, but as she had had an abusive partner who had damaged one of her retina I never used bondage with her and only in the 4th year a little light spanking. I would describe her as vanilla, maybe but not defiantly sub?
The third girl I had in KL, but only for about a year after I freed licks, was I guess a sub rather than a slave? She was mid 30's, owned her own import export business so controlling in real life. 'dripping' got very turned on by a little punishment and light bondage when we first met - hence the name :) - but only tolerated bondage after that, didn't like any humiliation or obedience training and though she answered to slave she was not comfortable in he role. She kept coming back despite complaining she wanted more vanilla sex but my business moved to Jakarta before the relationship could die a natural death.
In Jakarta I have had three 'slaves', all 'Indo' - Cock Sucker, Little Cunt and Cock Dancer. The first, another business owner in her mid 30's, and indo-Dutch, I would say was really a sub or bottom? She did not like bondage, did like spanking, rough sex and obedience. Would answer to her slave name, thank me for spankings, etc but was always much less submissive in nature than all the rest. She lasted 3 years, until she got married - though she wanted to carry on discreetly I proved too hard for her.
The second, LC, who overlapped the first and last, was undoubtedly a slave - I was her second master and she was 26 - the first had trained her for a year, she lasted with me for about 2 years, maybe a bit longer - essentially she needed a master with a dungeon by the time we agreed she should move on.
My last slave, Dancer, has maybe progressed through sub to slave? She is mid to late 30's, an ex teacher now junior manager in a bank, and into martial arts and traditional dance. When we first met she had no bdsm experience or interest - though I said from day 1 I was a Dom and looking for a slave - which unnerved her a little. From some slightly rough sex on the first night we progressed to light bondage by the third. She quickly chose to be 'faithful' to me against instruction and after just over two years is as advanced as LC ever was, more obedient when in role, and fun, teasing and fiery when out in public, whether clubbing but still able to drop back into submissive role behaviour at a moments notice. As you can probably tell I am very fond of Dancer and sad to let her go now I'm unlikely to g to Jakarta more than twice a year in the foreseeable future.
Hmm - did t intend to describe all my slaves hen I set out - but perhaps this will help to explain my confusion. When is a bottom not a sub, and when is a sub not a slave? To me the one has seemed just a natural step on the inevitable journey - once a sub has submitted to my ownership, even if conditional or part time, does that no make her, at least in her eyes, a slave?
I look forward to you r comments!
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