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lilcracker -> RE: What does bottom vs sub vs slave mean to you? (2/9/2013 11:41:00 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MusicInstr78
Hmmm, well a slave really can't even begin to fill any of the above roles. We are entirely different...a class of our own. Like myself, I am submissive not just A submissive. A slave has a Master/Owner and sees them as both. Submissives have Doms, and bottoms have tops. Slaves also go deeper, need deeper connection from another instead of just filling a role for a few hours.
LOL; sorry I tend to get a kick out of these sort of posts. Why is it that some think that slave is somehow ranks higher than a mere submissive and adopt the label just to set themselves apart and above the rest? (Hint I read your profile and I am sure I am dead on to my thought process.)
I don't identify as a bottom, submissive or a slave because it to me is just a label. I am submissive and live with someone who has a very dominant personality---but does not identify as a Dom, Master or Owner. Our sex life is extremely vanilla, however, he leads the roost here. If I come home from the end of the day, tired, it's snowing like hell and cold out and he wants me to go to the corner store for something, I GO! On my days off, I must have chores done prior to him getting home from work---he normally does chores on my work days but if the chores are not done I do them. If he says it's time to go to bed, I go...If he tells me I am not eating enough, I eat more...I am not disrespectful in my speech, I repress anger (and yes it does go away)....I keep my voice lowered. There are a zillion little details I must follow like rinsing off dishes prior to use, keeping my hair in a bun or ponytail especially while cooking....there is no little list of rules hanging on the wall, I have just learned what pleases him and what is expected of me. There is no punishment dynamic---I follow the rules because I have tremendous feelings for this man and making him happy pleases me. My only limit to him was I will do anything you ask within reason---and he has never asked me to do anything unreasonable...to me this is MY definition of slave...although like I said I do not identify as one.
I have been involved in D/s and BDSM since I was 23 and I am approaching 46 now. I did not meet my partner on the internet. He was the friend of a neighbor so we met in a very vanilla way and prior to moving in together there was NO discussion of rules, limits...and if I said to him D/s or BDSM he would probably say, WHAT???? But our relationship is what it is---he leads, I obey no questions asked. As for "A slave has a Master/Owner and sees them as both" so not true in our relationship, and this, "Slaves also go deeper, need deeper connection from another instead of just filling a role for a few hours," nope I am not any deeper than anyone else, there is no deeper connection between us (but we do work hard at our relationship I will say that and we do communicate more in our relationship than anyone I have ever been with) and YES it (the slave/submissive part of me) is a role I fill for a set amount of hours a day otherwise I am filling another role at my job. That doesn't mean I walk out of the house and forget who I am at home and act like an asshole once I am at work...but I am just saying....I can't submit or serve him while I am at work. He knows if he were to call me and demand I come home to pick a sock up or something it isn't going to happen---but I will call him if I need to work later.
Sorry there to burst your bubble there Music but the above is MY reality.
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