RE: what about negative experiences

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LadyPact -> RE: what about negative experiences (1/31/2013 12:53:05 PM)
OP, I get a feeling that I'm probably wasting My time but I don't think you are seeing the potential for abuse that your idea contains. In all honestly, what would stop anybody from creating an email or a post, slapping someone's name on it, and with a few tricks with editing, turn it into something they never said. Here's an example. quote: ORIGINAL: carmenelektra I HATE BIG FAT COWS LIKE YOU. Same thing with emails and such. What makes you think that everybody relaying a negative experience would be truthful? What makes you think that somebody won't create ten profiles just to report negative experiences about someone that they have never even met? You started this thread because somebody behaved badly. Don't you think people would behave badly if they could publicly bash, too?

carmenelektra -> RE: what about negative experiences (1/31/2013 12:53:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TheLilSquaw quote: ORIGINAL: carmenelektra thanks for the comment, I am just of the opinion that its only the internet, I can understand why the rule exists, where to draw the line kind of gets obscured, certainly do not need a forum of hate, but that said I like to speak my , I find it not blacklisting at all, if that person is a positive contributor to the lifestyle and this site, they will have plenty of users to offer "the other view", they will be point out how they contribute, they will have friends, if all they are is an ugly far right troll, that will be easily seen as well the honest truth is never an attack I speak my mind all the time. So do many other posters here. The honest truth can / is often an attack on the person. I will use my example again. (again this is just an example I have never meet DS) "Dark Steven and I meet and he was a total jerk and his feet smelled like he just walked through a warm cow pie." That is a personal attack and based on MY personal opinion of not only his foot odor but his personality. So it totally biased. Yes, someone else could post up a rebutal to my post. But I could also make 100s of socks and post up negative reviews. It happens ALL the time with online reviews. Look how easily people make sock accounts and simply write negative reviews to make a person / business look bad. Or vice versa, make sock accounts to make themselves look good. AGAIN there are ways to discuss your personal experiences with individuals without violating the rules of the site. I would also suggest, if you do nothing but post every negative interaction you have including names. People will simply not contact you period. They would be afraid that you MIGHT write something negative about them, even it is only a personal perception of the event(s). your dirty sock comparison is a very poor example, one its not a personal attack if its true, two it is not biased if its true, a smell of any kind of fecal matter is not something I care to encounter, may be a symptom of disease. There is sex involved. let me try, lets say someone contacts me and says, "if I ever see your scuzzy ass posting again I am going to lose my mind" what if that is followed by another comment "I took your pictures and I am posting them on the net so everyone knows who you" see, I am not talking about foot order, I slight difference don't you think, (sarcasm, its a huge difference) what if I block them, you just explained they can not be blocked, so why try? I can report, but again, multiple accounts, why not expose the bigots, and again, this is not about an odor I disagree with although odors could indicate bacteria growing and in the day and age of disease that is significant. Me, I smell like 100$ a bottle Juicy Couture perfume, (oops, that is now permanent, damn). so your example is poor yet a bit of wisdom your not aware of, smells indicate bacteria and maybe disease, feel free to pm (private message) me and tell me about all the odors you have encountered. so again, a community review by doms, or users, who have much more experience than me is not blacklisting or banning, a nice benefit to the community. anyhow, the dom that wants me has enough confidence that a little negative review is not going to crush him. If your a dom and my review hurts or crushes you, your not the strong dom for me, if your a sub and my review hurts you, your to weak for me. I also wear Taylor Swift's perfume, oops, there I go again, another permanent record of who I am, damn, now some hot dom will not want me.

carmenelektra -> RE: what about negative experiences (1/31/2013 1:06:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact OP, I get a feeling that I'm probably wasting My time but I don't think you are seeing the potential for abuse that your idea contains. In all honestly, what would stop anybody from creating an email or a post, slapping someone's name on it, and with a few tricks with editing, turn it into something they never said. quote: ORIGINAL: carmenelektra I HATE BIG FAT COWS LIKE YOU. Same thing with emails and such. What makes you think that everybody relaying a negative experience would be truthful? What makes you think that somebody won't create ten profiles just to report negative experiences about someone that they have never even met? You started this thread because somebody behaved badly. Don't you think people would behave badly if they could publicly bash, too? ten reviews by a bigot or hater, countered by my sweet smile and wit, I would hope one judges me on my merit, my experience is that enough people admire me to counter the negative post, and if you like you can read another profile of mine on another site, pm (private message) me if you want to see what others wrote, you can see I have the option to delete the nasty remarks but I left them be, said person made a new profile, attacked me again, and that comment is still there. said person was rude, was really a bigot, meaning they made a assumption and judgement of me and responded with obvious hate, I left the post up, commented on it, they countered with a video, its still there for all to see, I left it, pm me, I will gladly direct you there. said person responded and said, "if we both took off all our clothes the guys would all pick her" (preference of a black gurl over an angel blond is up to the individual) I replied if they closed their eyes they would pick me, (a reference to my taylor swift perfume), a joke the intelligent people see, a joke the ignorant bigot does not understand. I meet people on the site all the time, I am at the top with the number of friends I have, I get encouragement from my comments, people laugh and enjoy my post, and the bigot went away and learned a nice lesson. I was even nice enough to point out the danger, as I could change my look and than what? He/it would be in danger, very nice of me to show a person how they are a danger to themselves. paranoia about negative reviews, I had them, I get them, it comes with the territory, so your scenario did not happen, I am so fine, and I am getting responses on my profile, so I have no fear of what anyone reads.

Darkfeather -> RE: what about negative experiences (1/31/2013 1:13:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: carmenelektra quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact OP, I get a feeling that I'm probably wasting My time but I don't think you are seeing the potential for abuse that your idea contains. In all honestly, what would stop anybody from creating an email or a post, slapping someone's name on it, and with a few tricks with editing, turn it into something they never said. quote: ORIGINAL: carmenelektra I HATE BIG FAT COWS LIKE YOU. Same thing with emails and such. What makes you think that everybody relaying a negative experience would be truthful? What makes you think that somebody won't create ten profiles just to report negative experiences about someone that they have never even met? You started this thread because somebody behaved badly. Don't you think people would behave badly if they could publicly bash, too? ten reviews by a bigot or hater, countered by my sweet smile and wit, I would hope one judges me on my merit, my experience is that enough people admire me to counter the negative post, and if you like you can read another profile of mine on another site, pm (private message) me if you want to see what others wrote, you can see I have the option to delete the nasty remarks but I left them be, said person made a new profile, attacked me again, and that comment is still there. said person was rude, was really a bigot, meaning they made a assumption and judgement of me and responded with obvious hate, I left the post up, commented on it, they countered with a video, its still there for all to see, I left it, pm me, I will gladly direct you there. said person responded and said, "if we both took off all our clothes the guys would all pick her" (preference of a black gurl over an angel blond is up to the individual) I replied if they closed their eyes they would pick me, (a reference to my taylor swift perfume), a joke the intelligent people see, a joke the ignorant bigot does not understand. I meet people on the site all the time, I am at the top with the number of friends I have, I get encouragement from my comments, people laugh and enjoy my post, and the bigot went away and learned a nice lesson. I was even nice enough to point out the danger, as I could change my look and than what? He/it would be in danger, very nice of me to show a person how they are a danger to themselves. paranoia about negative reviews, I had them, I get them, it comes with the territory, so your scenario did not happen, I am so fine, and I am getting responses on my profile, so I have no fear of what anyone reads. You know, I already gave you quite a good reason why your idea wouldn't work.

AthenaSurrenders -> RE: what about negative experiences (1/31/2013 1:18:05 PM)
I understand what you're saying about bigots, but here's the thing - if we never encounter said bigot, or interact with him in any way, being told that he's a bigot is going to have no impact on us. If we do encounter and/or interact with him, we will see for ourselves that he is a bigot and react accordingly. While the website may be a community, it is a community in a loose sense. There are thousands and thousands of people here, most of us will never cross paths, meet or even speak to each other. If we were a real-life local community, news of someone acting badly would naturally spread and that person would find him or herself excluded from events. But a huge online community like this can't work this way. There is no realistic penalty for those people - community censure doesn't exist. When people behave badly on the forums they get called out, because the forums allow group interaction from a number of people who keep coming back. As such they get to know each other, create their own culture of what is and isn't acceptable, and reputations are created. On the profiles side, it becomes meaningless. You could write in your profile about 10 badly behaved people, and people who read it might never bump into any of the people you reviewed. I also think the idea of people with more experience giving reviews is flawed. Who determines what is experience? What's to stop me starting an older profile and saying I have 20 years experience? I've been in a 24/7 relationship for six plus years. I might have more D/s experience than someone who has had five short relationships over twelve years. On the other hand, my experience is no help to someone who wants to experience a poly age play relationship. Again, the idea of more experienced people looking out for new people is lovely, but it's all just words on the internet. Anyone can say anything. In a real-world community people have verifiable experience and reputation which can allow this to work.

carmenelektra -> RE: what about negative experiences (1/31/2013 1:18:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact OP, I get a feeling that I'm probably wasting My time but I don't think you are seeing the potential for abuse that your idea contains. In all honestly, what would stop anybody from creating an email or a post, slapping someone's name on it, and with a few tricks with editing, turn it into something they never said. quote: ORIGINAL: carmenelektra I HATE BIG FAT COWS LIKE YOU. Same thing with emails and such. What makes you think that everybody relaying a negative experience would be truthful? What makes you think that somebody won't create ten profiles just to report negative experiences about someone that they have never even met? You started this thread because somebody behaved badly. Don't you think people would behave badly if they could publicly bash, too? now see, you just partially quoted me, you broke the rules, you have zero merit so you did something against the rules, maybe your ignorant, maybe not, now I must report your post, point out how you broke the rules, when I have not, when your lecturing me on the rules that you do not follow, so now I have to report your post so people do not think I am the person you made me look like by misquoting me, but you know what, I do not need to report your post, I prefer to let it stand, others say this will be a permanent record. did you make a mistake, hardly, that was not the font I used, that was presented in my original post in different context, so what am I to do, feel hurt, ashamed, go tattle tale, or maybe someone else who is obviously better than me will report your post as against the rules. You can not cut and paste a quote and than use capitals to draw attention to the post, taking it out of context. and that is all I can say on this forum, negative criticism is not allowed, this tells others who you are. lets see if you like the rules or not, I have pointed it out, ask the moderator, anyhow, this shows who you are and I thank you for misquoting me

AthenaSurrenders -> RE: what about negative experiences (1/31/2013 1:22:11 PM)
... I think that was the point Lady Pact was making - that posts can easily be edited to twist people's words.

carmenelektra -> RE: what about negative experiences (1/31/2013 1:23:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders I understand what you're saying about bigots, but here's the thing - if we never encounter said bigot, or interact with him in any way, being told that he's a bigot is going to have no impact on us. If we do encounter and/or interact with him, we will see for ourselves that he is a bigot and react accordingly. While the website may be a community, it is a community in a loose sense. There are thousands and thousands of people here, most of us will never cross paths, meet or even speak to each other. If we were a real-life local community, news of someone acting badly would naturally spread and that person would find him or herself excluded from events. But a huge online community like this can't work this way. There is no realistic penalty for those people - community censure doesn't exist. When people behave badly on the forums they get called out, because the forums allow group interaction from a number of people who keep coming back. As such they get to know each other, create their own culture of what is and isn't acceptable, and reputations are created. On the profiles side, it becomes meaningless. You could write in your profile about 10 badly behaved people, and people who read it might never bump into any of the people you reviewed. I also think the idea of people with more experience giving reviews is flawed. Who determines what is experience? What's to stop me starting an older profile and saying I have 20 years experience? I've been in a 24/7 relationship for six plus years. I might have more D/s experience than someone who has had five short relationships over twelve years. On the other hand, my experience is no help to someone who wants to experience a poly age play relationship. Again, the idea of more experienced people looking out for new people is lovely, but it's all just words on the internet. Anyone can say anything. In a real-world community people have verifiable experience and reputation which can allow this to work. I was not clear, a review by anybody, people with more experience will also be reviewing, not solely, someone with 10,000 posts will be clearly carry more weight than me with only a 100 posts. I said nothing of a penalty, I did not say to censure, I did not say ban them, I did not block them, an intelligent discussion, it is that simple. just my opinion, and it works on other sites.

LadyPact -> RE: what about negative experiences (1/31/2013 1:24:21 PM)
OK, here's what you do. Nobody on the forums can change policy of the site. Earlier in the thread, another poster gave you the link to the post on the Administrative Announcements section on the board regarding blacklisting. (Like it or not, that's what you are proposing.) If you believe in your idea and think it would improve the site, your next move it so get the site to change the policy. Members (the people on the message boards) don't have the power to do that. The owner of the site is the resource that you would need to take this suggestion to so that the policy can be changed. If the owner of the site decides that you are right, amends the ToS to implement your idea, then you can do all of the public posting of your email that you want. As a side note, I'm sure you'll call Me a bigot, too, but the stuff your angelic face and how much you are admired really isn't germane to the discussion, as far as I'm concerned. It's wonderful that you have such good self esteem. However, I'm not interested in your other profile, your videos, or any other reference material. I appreciate the offer. It's just not something that seems necessary to Me.

LadyPact -> RE: what about negative experiences (1/31/2013 1:26:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders ... I think that was the point Lady Pact was making - that posts can easily be edited to twist people's words. Thank you. While I have time, I'll add a "here's an example" to the earlier post.

carmenelektra -> RE: what about negative experiences (1/31/2013 1:32:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders ... I think that was the point Lady Pact was making - that posts can easily be edited to twist people's words. so to make a point I have to be made to seem that I said something that is not in my heart, whoever did not follow the rules, the rules that I am simply discussing, you must defend someone, see how that works, they broke the rules, you assume their intent as being good, fine, you just did exactly what I have been stating. see how a peer review works, if you do not believe in what I am saying why did you not report the post as breaking the rules, why did you offer your opinion and offer an intelligent response, see how I defend myself with wit, see how someone can easily counter something that is obviously not the truth. see how your post is exactly what I stated, thank you, your own my side and you do not even know. brilliant post and you prove my point exactly

AthenaSurrenders -> RE: what about negative experiences (1/31/2013 1:34:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: carmenelektra quote: ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders ... I think that was the point Lady Pact was making - that posts can easily be edited to twist people's words. so to make a point I have to be made to seem that I said something that is not in my heart, whoever did not follow the rules, the rules that I am simply discussing, you must defend someone, see how that works, they broke the rules, you assume their intent as being good, fine, you just did exactly what I have been stating. see how a peer review works, if you do not believe in what I am saying why did you not report the post as breaking the rules, why did you offer your opinion and offer an intelligent response, see how I defend myself with wit, see how someone can easily counter something that is obviously not the truth. see how your post is exactly what I stated, thank you, your own my side and you do not even know. brilliant post and you prove my point exactly If your point was that you don't understand what Lady Pact is saying, I agree.

carmenelektra -> RE: what about negative experiences (1/31/2013 1:37:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact OK, here's what you do. Nobody on the forums can change policy of the site. Earlier in the thread, another poster gave you the link to the post on the Administrative Announcements section on the board regarding blacklisting. (Like it or not, that's what you are proposing.) If you believe in your idea and think it would improve the site, your next move it so get the site to change the policy. Members (the people on the message boards) don't have the power to do that. The owner of the site is the resource that you would need to take this suggestion to so that the policy can be changed. If the owner of the site decides that you are right, amends the ToS to implement your idea, then you can do all of the public posting of your email that you want. As a side note, I'm sure you'll call Me a bigot, too, but the stuff your angelic face and how much you are admired really isn't germane to the discussion, as far as I'm concerned. It's wonderful that you have such good self esteem. However, I'm not interested in your other profile, your videos, or any other reference material. I appreciate the offer. It's just not something that seems necessary to Me. why would I call you a bigot, why would you make an assumption, I have not called anybody a bigot who has posted in this thread, I have not even come close to making insinuations. I am having fun, its a discussion, that's all. sometimes it takes a discussion to find out who people are, you either like me, hate me, or are indifferent to me. I offered information to you, you declined, you did not have to point out that you declined, that is obviously not germane to the discussion, which again says something, does it not.

LafayetteLady -> RE: what about negative experiences (1/31/2013 1:37:37 PM)
Ok I have read all three pages of this drivel, laughed my ass off at what one perceives as "witty and intelligent," and I can't hold back any longer. Intelligence would indicate understanding the reasoning the owners when they created the rules. Since they have a booming website and others do not, others are not in a position to tell them what to do. Feel free to create your own site. You have been here ONE day! In one day you have found someone who is telling you what to do (and you are listening!), and another who has threatened to post your pictures all over the internet. See the bold part? I'm going to write in simple words so you can understand....that....is...a...threat. If you report that person, the mods will take action. Now here is the really tough part. You posted pictures on your profile. Without even notifying you, I can copy and post those pictures all over the internet on any site I want. I'm not going to do that, but the point is that I, or anyone else, can do that because you posted them on your profile. Incidentally, if you were as comfortable as you say, it wouldn't mean anything to you when someone said that. In fact, based on all the drivel you keep posting about how enamored with yourself you are, you would be thrilled to see your face plastered on any and all websites. It is not the duty of the site or us, the members to protect YOU from bigotry. Like it or not, you live a lifestyle that opens you up to negative comments. YOU must be strong enough to deal with them. Quite frankly, every dominant I know would read your thread here, shake his head and walk away. You have NOT presented yourself in a positive light here. So while you are jumping up and down in your 5" heels doing a little happy dance about this thread, you are unable to realize how horrible it makes you look. Even if there WAS a section for what you wanted and you posted in it, YOU would still come off looking like an insecure, unintelligent drama queen. In other words, your desire for a "negative experiences" section would backfire on you. Finally, just so you know. You made a comment about hits to your profile. Others can't see who has viewed you or how many times, so it really doesn't do anything but give you the jollies thinking about how many hits you have. Many people on the boards look at the profile of someone who posts to get a clearer picture of the person so we may better answer the question. I doubt anything I said made this clearer to you, but honestly, you are not making yourself look good here in any way.

carmenelektra -> RE: what about negative experiences (1/31/2013 1:38:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders quote: ORIGINAL: carmenelektra quote: ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders ... I think that was the point Lady Pact was making - that posts can easily be edited to twist people's words. so to make a point I have to be made to seem that I said something that is not in my heart, whoever did not follow the rules, the rules that I am simply discussing, you must defend someone, see how that works, they broke the rules, you assume their intent as being good, fine, you just did exactly what I have been stating. see how a peer review works, if you do not believe in what I am saying why did you not report the post as breaking the rules, why did you offer your opinion and offer an intelligent response, see how I defend myself with wit, see how someone can easily counter something that is obviously not the truth. see how your post is exactly what I stated, thank you, your own my side and you do not even know. brilliant post and you prove my point exactly If your point was that you don't understand what Lady Pact is saying, I agree. no my point was that instead of reporting a violation of etiquette you did what I propose, a simple critic of what someone wrote.

AthenaSurrenders -> RE: what about negative experiences (1/31/2013 1:41:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: carmenelektra no my point was that instead of reporting a violation of etiquette you did what I propose, a simple critic of what someone wrote. I didn't report any posts because I didn't see anyone break the rules. I don't bother the mods over people not following my idea of etiquette.

TheLilSquaw -> RE: what about negative experiences (1/31/2013 1:43:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders ... I think that was the point Lady Pact was making - that posts can easily be edited to twist people's words. Lady Pact was SHOWING you the major flaw with what you propose. That YOUR proof can be easily fabricated entirely or an innocent conversation edited to make it look like a personal attack of a bigot, threat, ect. The reality is emails, instant messengers conversations, and forum posts can be easily modified to suite someone's desires to reek habit on someone's life. As Lady Pact, myself and other's have stated what you are suggesting is black listing which is against the sites TOS. If you wish for policy to be changed, contact customer support on the other side and leave them a note with your suggestion. No one here can change the policy, not even the Mods. ONLY the owner can do that and for some reason I think he likes covering his / her ass far to much to open up THAT can of worms.

Darkfeather -> RE: what about negative experiences (1/31/2013 1:48:09 PM)
And so it begins... Train, meet wreck. Wreck, meet train

carmenelektra -> RE: what about negative experiences (1/31/2013 1:48:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady Ok I have read all three pages of this drivel, laughed my ass off at what one perceives as "witty and intelligent," and I can't hold back any longer. Intelligence would indicate understanding the reasoning the owners when they created the rules. Since they have a booming website and others do not, others are not in a position to tell them what to do. Feel free to create your own site. You have been here ONE day! In one day you have found someone who is telling you what to do (and you are listening!), and another who has threatened to post your pictures all over the internet. See the bold part? I'm going to write in simple words so you can understand....that....is...a...threat. If you report that person, the mods will take action. Now here is the really tough part. You posted pictures on your profile. Without even notifying you, I can copy and post those pictures all over the internet on any site I want. I'm not going to do that, but the point is that I, or anyone else, can do that because you posted them on your profile. Incidentally, if you were as comfortable as you say, it wouldn't mean anything to you when someone said that. In fact, based on all the drivel you keep posting about how enamored with yourself you are, you would be thrilled to see your face plastered on any and all websites. It is not the duty of the site or us, the members to protect YOU from bigotry. Like it or not, you live a lifestyle that opens you up to negative comments. YOU must be strong enough to deal with them. Quite frankly, every dominant I know would read your thread here, shake his head and walk away. You have NOT presented yourself in a positive light here. So while you are jumping up and down in your 5" heels doing a little happy dance about this thread, you are unable to realize how horrible it makes you look. Even if there WAS a section for what you wanted and you posted in it, YOU would still come off looking like an insecure, unintelligent drama queen. In other words, your desire for a "negative experiences" section would backfire on you. Finally, just so you know. You made a comment about hits to your profile. Others can't see who has viewed you or how many times, so it really doesn't do anything but give you the jollies thinking about how many hits you have. Many people on the boards look at the profile of someone who posts to get a clearer picture of the person so we may better answer the question. I doubt anything I said made this clearer to you, but honestly, you are not making yourself look good here in any way. Judge me as you see me, that is fine, but is that not exactly the etiquette of the boards. You are passing a judgement on me, you describing a way that you see me, that you say should not be a part of these boards, yet your doing it. It pretty clear to me, you doing exactly what you say can not be done, the very thing I started this thread about. I doubt anything I said made this clearer to you, but honestly, you are the one not making yourself look good. Me, with so few posts, my dom will see that he just needs to tighten my collar and control me, or I guess I am just to be perfect out the gate. There is someone for everyone and to suggest everyone will no longer like me, again, not the etiquette of the boards. now if someone sides with you, you will see how my idea works, your turn, go.

TheLilSquaw -> RE: what about negative experiences (1/31/2013 1:49:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: carmenelektra no my point was that instead of reporting a violation of etiquette you did what I propose, a simple critic of what someone wrote. It's not a violation of etiquette it is a violation of the TOS and forums guidelines. HUGE difference. And you can critic someone's posts. You can even "attack" someone's posts or actions but you can not attack a PERSON or KINK. You can even state your opinion. You simply can not ATTACK a PERSON or KINK. Do you see the difference?

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