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RSWingman -> RE: Does cross dressing make me a cross dresser (6/20/2006 7:00:00 AM)
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Someone kinda touched on this, but to paraphrase it: How come a Tom-boy isn't called a crossdresser? Because they're called a Tom-boy? Double-standard? Still doesn't invoke the same social connotations though.
I don't need labels to explore who I am. I am me. Sometimes terminology can be helpful. But mostly, it's others that need the labels, in order to communicate amongst each-other, what I am.
Much easier to say "He's a crossdresser", than "He's someone who enjoys dressing-up in satin occasionally, but sometimes,..." Get the picture? They don't have the vested personal interest in clarifying your position.
There can also be an implication of "habit" and point of view to these labels. Is someone who lies to save their ass (to no one's detriment) once, a liar? Is someone who gets busted for public intox, a criminal? The law says yes, though they may otherwise be a completely law-abiding citizen, with only a single mistake. Depends on whether you're speaking in terms of a pattern of habit, or just a rare or occasional instance or two.
So for most people, yes, you're a crossdresser. Or it could be supplementally said, that you have a "satin fetish". For you, you're whatever you believe you are, and probably have much less need for the labels.
If you went and hung with some crossdressers, one of a few things could happen: You could discover that you're interested in much more, or possibly feel like you've found your niche, or you might find that you were right-on in your personal inventory, and just feel out of place or "lame" around them.
I'm certain that different people dress to different degrees, at different intervals & frequency and for different reasons. Maybe you're wondering if there's a group out there for what you percieve to be your "watered-down" version of dressing? Perhaps some "satin fetishist" group?
But I think I'm "feeling" your conflict: I hear you reflecting concern for the same kind of crap that one might hear where I live. I live in redneckville USA. I don't feel I could possibly get away with most of the alternative lifestyle-related things around here, that I'm interested in, without risking serious bodily injury or death.
Further, I'm fed-up with the local folk around here. On the other hand, I love the diversity & acceptance that I've discovered in the City, but feel like I would get eaten-alive by the complex system there. It's too fast; I can't see myself living there.
So what to do? Sounds like you need a more accepting environment, but I can't help you there, other than to suggest that you go to some lifestyle-related functions, and find the appropriate Yahoogroups (they're out there, where ever you are). Maybe someone else will be able to run with this.
RS
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