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Calling Male subs.... - 2/5/2013 5:51:42 PM   
Aneirin


Posts: 6121
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Tamaris
Status: offline 		Calling male subs, for a reason as I have a question to ask of you ;

When you sub what is your motivation for what you do, in that are you there for the sexual gratification or other ?

I ask as the Dom has recently said to me that I am always going on about feelings, it's not sexual with me and I agree, it's not about sex, in fact I can take it or leave it no problem as with me what I do I do because I am seeking feelings, how something makes me feel and though I may hate certain acts I will go there because it is the feeling generated by the act that I need.

So, what of other male subs, is what I have said above something you can identify with, or what is it that motivates you to sub for others ?

_____________________________

Everything we are is the result of what we have thought, the mind is everything, what we think, we become - Guatama Buddha

Conservatism is distrust of people tempered by fear - William Gladstone
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RE: Calling Male subs.... - 2/5/2013 5:53:54 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline 		Out of curiosity, do you feel that this is likely going to be a different answer for male subs vs. female subs?

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to Aneirin)
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RE: Calling Male subs.... - 2/5/2013 5:57:47 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aneirin

Calling male subs, for a reason as I have a question to ask of you ;

When you sub what is your motivation for what you do, in that are you there for the sexual gratification or other ?

I ask as the Dom has recently said to me that I am always going on about feelings, it's not sexual with me and I agree, it's not about sex, in fact I can take it or leave it no problem as with me what I do I do because I am seeking feelings, how something makes me feel and though I may hate certain acts I will go there because it is the feeling generated by the act that I need.

So, what of other male subs, is what I have said above something you can identify with, or what is it that motivates you to sub for others ?


For me personally, I like to see the Domme dance a little....squirm if you will.

I want to see her put out some effort.

I'll bend a little, but cash always makes me weak in the knees.

If not...I'll send a drone after her ass.

< Message edited by LookieNoNookie -- 2/5/2013 5:58:19 PM >

(in reply to Aneirin)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Calling Male subs.... - 2/5/2013 5:58:21 PM   
Aneirin


Posts: 6121
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Tamaris
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

Out of curiosity, do you feel that this is likely going to be a different answer for male subs vs. female subs?


Yes, for the reason, males are different to females.


_____________________________

Everything we are is the result of what we have thought, the mind is everything, what we think, we become - Guatama Buddha

Conservatism is distrust of people tempered by fear - William Gladstone

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Calling Male subs.... - 2/5/2013 6:10:19 PM   
FelineFae


Posts: 7756
Joined: 1/23/2009
From: i do wander everywhere...
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aneirin


quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

Out of curiosity, do you feel that this is likely going to be a different answer for male subs vs. female subs?


Yes, for the reason, males are different to females.



There's a stigma that's carried by male subs that doesn't normally carry over to female s-types.
Perhaps the goal of the OP could be to dispell that stigma.

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(in reply to Aneirin)
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RE: Calling Male subs.... - 2/5/2013 6:39:42 PM   
ARIES83


Posts: 3648
Status: offline 		The stigma has been well earned

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530 DAYS

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RE: Calling Male subs.... - 2/5/2013 7:22:20 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I'm responding for clip because he's busy doing the dishes.

No, for him, it is not sexual motivation. It really is tied up in making Me happy and pleasing Me. Literally, if I'm happy, he's happy.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to ARIES83)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Calling Male subs.... - 2/5/2013 7:38:55 PM   
Nelee


Posts: 205
Joined: 11/15/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FelineFae


quote:

ORIGINAL: Aneirin


quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

Out of curiosity, do you feel that this is likely going to be a different answer for male subs vs. female subs?


Yes, for the reason, males are different to females.



There's a stigma that's carried by male subs that doesn't normally carry over to female s-types.
Perhaps the goal of the OP could be to dispell that stigma.


Stigma? Is it a stigma that see male subs a lowly, or something?

Since I am not a male sub, I don't have much else to add to the discussion. I just had that question.

(in reply to FelineFae)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Calling Male subs.... - 2/5/2013 9:00:52 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I think the thing is we all see the "male subs" who come around and want things their way, who are only in it for the sexual gratification and after that, they are no longer submissive in any way and really not all that concerned with the other person. That person is just there to fulfill their sexual kinks for awhile.

This is the stigma that "male subs" have to overcome. I personally don't see those types of men as subs but just as kinky, horny boys. I think there are actually extremely few male subs out there. I doubt you would even find a handful on this site or even at parties and munches.


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Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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RE: Calling Male subs.... - 2/5/2013 9:44:35 PM   
seekingreality


Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aneirin

Calling male subs, for a reason as I have a question to ask of you ;

When you sub what is your motivation for what you do, in that are you there for the sexual gratification or other ?



I'm not sure why you think this is an either/or.

I mean, would you ask someone in a vanilla relationship whether they are there for emotional or sexual reasons?

I find submitting to be an intensively erotic, sexual experience. I also find it rewarding, and make a deep connection with a woman I am with.

(in reply to Aneirin)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Calling Male subs.... - 2/5/2013 10:04:20 PM   
EsotericLady


Posts: 713
Joined: 1/2/2013
Status: offline 		Considering the fact that males and females are wired differently, the answers might very well be different!
quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

Out of curiosity, do you feel that this is likely going to be a different answer for male subs vs. female subs?


(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Calling Male subs.... - 2/5/2013 11:19:20 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I think the thing is we all see the "male subs" who come around and want things their way, who are only in it for the sexual gratification and after that, they are no longer submissive in any way and really not all that concerned with the other person. That person is just there to fulfill their sexual kinks for awhile.

This is the stigma that "male subs" have to overcome. I personally don't see those types of men as subs but just as kinky, horny boys. I think there are actually extremely few male subs out there. I doubt you would even find a handful on this site or even at parties and munches.


There very well may be a lot of "kinky, horny boys" out there but, still, there are some actual male subs out there. My sub is one of them. He loves to see me happy and it's not all about sex with him. However, he doesn't frequent the message boards, so here I am tooting his horn. lol

NBMG

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(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Calling Male subs.... - 2/6/2013 2:35:18 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EsotericLady
Considering the fact that males and females are wired differently, the answers might very well be different!

Heh :)

OK, I'm not (usually) stupid and I get that boys and girls are different inside as well as out. But given that I am intrigued by humans I like to look at the specific differences more closely, hence my question. I was hoping for a more specific answer than I got which, hopefully, might have shed some light on those differences -- at least in the eyes of the OP.

I'm also find gender generalizations to be frequently false so I like to inquire for hard (and specific) data where I can. I'm the engineer type... data is good.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to EsotericLady)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Calling Male subs.... - 2/6/2013 7:32:39 AM   
EsotericLady


Posts: 713
Joined: 1/2/2013
Status: offline 		Well mr. engineer type (smiles),
I have a superb book written by two accredited PHDs on that exact subject (How men and women are wired differently physically, sexually, psychologically, and emotionally) and would be happy to quote them for you by page number, but the book has been loaned out so many times that it is currently not in my bookcase.

Once I locate it though, I would be happy to provide you with its title, authors, publishing company, and publishing date along with any circles and arrows you may need for direction. It would most likely do you good to read it, personally. (winks)


quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: EsotericLady
Considering the fact that males and females are wired differently, the answers might very well be different!

Heh :)

OK, I'm not (usually) stupid and I get that boys and girls are different inside as well as out. But given that I am intrigued by humans I like to look at the specific differences more closely, hence my question. I was hoping for a more specific answer than I got which, hopefully, might have shed some light on those differences -- at least in the eyes of the OP.

I'm also find gender generalizations to be frequently false so I like to inquire for hard (and specific) data where I can. I'm the engineer type... data is good.



(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Calling Male subs.... - 2/6/2013 7:54:27 AM   
EsotericLady


Posts: 713
Joined: 1/2/2013
Status: offline 		Yes, there are still some actual male subs about. I come across one every now and then! LOL

I'm happy for you that you've found your very special sub, and wish you continued happiness with him!
quote:

: NiceButMeanGirl

There very well may be a lot of "kinky, horny boys" out there but, still, there are some actual male subs out there. My sub is one of them. He loves to see me happy and it's not all about sex with him. However, he doesn't frequent the message boards, so here I am tooting his horn. lol

NBMG


(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Calling Male subs.... - 2/6/2013 8:42:04 AM   
wannapleez


Posts: 358
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline 		As others have said, it's not an either/or for me. But even beyond that distinction, the line between sexual gratification and the general enjoyment of pleasing a woman is not very clear sometimes.

For instance, if you're doing something to please her that is of a totally non-sexual nature, does that automatically mean that any enjoyment that you receive from serving in that manner is automatically non-sexual, too? Or can it still be sexual, since the undercurrent of your service (in general, not just that one thing) is sexual in nature sometimes/often? And if the latter, is it always sexual gratification, or does it just have the possibility of being so?

(in reply to EsotericLady)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Calling Male subs.... - 2/6/2013 8:46:26 AM   
wannapleez


Posts: 358
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl
There very well may be a lot of "kinky, horny boys" out there but, still, there are some actual male subs out there. My sub is one of them. He loves to see me happy and it's not all about sex with him. However, he doesn't frequent the message boards, so here I am tooting his horn. lol


Kudos to you for doing so. The best Domme/sub relationships that I have had were when the Domme clearly recognized my efforts and motivations and expressed appreciation for them.

(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Calling Male subs.... - 2/6/2013 9:04:16 AM   
wannapleez


Posts: 358
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline 		One other thought -- and I kinda alluded to this with my "undercurrent" comment.

The OP references both "sexual gratification" and "it being (or not being) all about sex". I'm not saying that he is contradicting himself, but there is an important (IMHO) distinction to be made here.

In my experience, a given activity can produce sexual gratification without being about sex. For instance, just for the heck of it, I once bought a Mistress an inexpensive* dress. Now I had no expectation of any sexual favors being done as a "thank you" or even having things turned up a notch or two on sexual stuff that would occur anyway. And yet, I had a raging hard-on while buying that dress.

* (It wasn't inexpensive because I'm cheap. Rather, if she didn't like it, I was just going to eat the cost as returns are a bitch.)

Now was that sexual gratification? Yeah, I think so. Your honor, if it please the court, we'd like to present this erection as Exhibit A. Now it's possible that Exhibit A occurred because the large component of our relationship was of a sexual nature (hence my "undercurrent" comment before).

But was it "about sex"? No, I don't think so. I was buying a regular dress (heck, it wasn't even cut low) with no expectation of anything sexual in return.

(in reply to wannapleez)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Calling Male subs.... - 2/6/2013 9:19:27 AM   
focalss


Posts: 164
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ARIES83

The stigma has been well earned


What exactly has been well earned from an ignorant so called Dominant?

In reply to the OP:
I don't see Male Dominants caring about cleaning to the level of women for example so I think there are many differences.

Sex and D/s do mix with me.

I don't see male doms playing with sub women without sex for too long, maybe for top bottom things but not long term.

Women who have partners are more willing to receive service from sub men it seems and a lot of dominant women don't find sub men sexually attractive. I also don't understand if all the women who post pictures of their feet are getting gratification from attention to their feet or if they are catering to sub men for foot worship without having intercourse. I don't see Male Doms posting pictures of their feet either and its obvious men are more into different fetishes than women.

Typically the women will want a higher earning man to be attracted to him.



< Message edited by focalss -- 2/6/2013 9:20:01 AM >

(in reply to ARIES83)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Calling Male subs.... - 2/6/2013 10:28:05 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC
Heh :)

OK, I'm not (usually) stupid and I get that boys and girls are different inside as well as out. But given that I am intrigued by humans I like to look at the specific differences more closely, hence my question. I was hoping for a more specific answer than I got which, hopefully, might have shed some light on those differences -- at least in the eyes of the OP.

I'm also find gender generalizations to be frequently false so I like to inquire for hard (and specific) data where I can. I'm the engineer type... data is good.

I can't help you with hard, specific data. I can help you in regard to perception.

I'm going to be Captain Obvious for a moment. This is the internet. The internet tends to attract a lot of folks who are here because of hot fantasy thought. It can be a momentary thing or a long drawn out deal but a number of males show up here because it's sexually linked. There are a lot of guys out there who think it's hotter than hot for a woman to be the sexual aggressor. This isn't the norm for most men to experience. Men are used to having to be the person who initiates sex, being the aggressor, etc. Many really aren't used to being the object of sexual desire to the point of where the woman is going to be the one in control. On the other hand, women being the receiver of such is very common. They are used to being wanted, desired, taken.

Make no mistake. There is very little difference between men and women in *wanting* these experiences. It's just that it's easier for women to find than men, so it doesn't hold the same importance. For women, it's like being thirsty and getting water from the tap. For men, it's like being thirsty in the middle of the desert. Same drive, different attainability.

This is what the stigma is about. Something that a male who has submission stem from somewhere besides his sexuality has to deal with quite often.





_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 20
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