TwoHeartsBeatOne -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/6/2013 1:05:41 PM)
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Thank you, Allie. Your answers helped me immensely. What you've written is what I thought a Daddy Dom/lg relationship was all about, at its finest. :) "All things youthful" was my way of saying - not of an age of consent. Gifts - yes, I meant generosity in all forms. I don't mean to be dense here, but what is the difference between age play/incest play and the feelings of pedophilia? Yes, consent and adults... I get that. What I am asking is when the age play/incest play is simultaneously sexual, is that a kind of Daddy Dom relationship in BDSM, or has a pedophile entered our midst? quote:
ORIGINAL: Shininglight23 In post #39 you said, "I really appreciate the time and thought people are putting into this topic, but I am still waiting for more people to offer their answers to the questions I've asked in my OP. It's a lot to consider, but perhaps answering even one of the original 7 would be great." I'm not a Daddy Dom, but I will answer your questions in reference to me. quote:
ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne I’m feeling paralyzed by fear. I don’t even know where to turn for answers. I am hoping that TOS guidelines won’t interfere with a rational and informative discussion of this topic. I simply seek clarity. These are my questions: Question 1 Is a Daddy Dom a pedophile psychologically, but he behaves physically/sexually only with adults? Am I psychologically damaged because I prefer older men? No. If I ever even suspected a man to have true pedophile feelings...I would be out of there so fast... I can't even tell you. The men I've been with...it's not a physical thing.. it's mental and emotional desire to love, care for, and guide their lg. I believe people are sexually unique for three reasons: 1) Born that way You could say I was born this way... I never dated anyone under the age of 34... but I didn't start dating until 18. 2) An early event linked sexuality and (fill in the blank/fetish) You can say that as well... my earliest sexual experience was when I was 18..with an older man. 3) Choice. I choose to be with older men because I like them more. Question 2 So, if a guy is sexually aroused and attracted to all things youthful and he acts on it, it’s a crime and a horror. But, if that same guy channels those feelings into mutually consensual behavior with another adult, or adults, then I think we’d all want to support that “use” of those feelings, right? I'm not sure if I'm understanding this question correctly, but I will give it a shot. What makes you think that all Daddy Doms are attracted to all things youthful? Are you talking about coloring and barbies? I think you're implying that ALL Daddy Doms have pedophilia feelings, and some choose to use them in a non-criminal way. That is an incorrect assumption. I wouldn't support the "use" of any true pedophilia feelings. Ever. Question 3 Daddy Doms and pedophiles “groom” the focus of their attention, using praise, gifts and a sense of dependence. But do they share these other qualities as well: 1. I would think any partner I'm with should focus some attention on me and the relationship. 2. Praise is another word for... words of affirmation. In my opinion.. they are required for a healthy.. well balanced relationship. Who doesn't want to know they are appreciated? 3. A gift can be making a special meal for absolutely no reason. It can be creating a scrapbook to show how those moments meant something to you. Gifts are nice, and given by both parties in my relationship. 4. I'm a "free spirit" as he likes to say... and although I depend on him for moral support and help in making good judgements.. if I chose a path he didn't think was the best... he would chalk it up to.. "learning from my mistakes" -a self-image as being younger than they really are? He knows he's older than I am.. he especially feels it when we go hiking. [:D] -inability to maintain peer relationships? He has more peer relationships than I do. Talk about a "Chatty Charlie." -a need for isolation, control and secrecy? Again, I'm a "free spirit".. he has some control.. but feels no need for secrecy and to isolate me. -shame, self-loathing, but with a charming façade? He has no shame or self-loathing... he's his best promoter! He is rather charming. [:D] - (fill in the blank with your own observations)? Question 4 To anyone who has seen the film, “The Woodsman,” which shows how a woman accepts a pedophile’s need to express his sexuality in specific ways with her, do you agree that the Daddy Dom relationship is much like this? I've never seen it. Question 5 As a submissive who is also a parent, how do you handle both your own emotions, and your responsibility to protect, knowing the Daddy Dom’s preference for youth? I'm not a parent. Are you asking how would someone protect their children around their significant other? If that's the case... they're with a pedophile, and NOT a Daddy Dom. Question 6 As an aging human, how does it feel to be with a guy who is attracted to a look – an illusion – that will become more difficult to create with each passing day? I’m assuming that this feels good, or at least okay, but I wonder how that is achieved. He isn't attracted to a look or an illusion.. he is attracted to me.. a whole person. He knew me when I was 19, and he knows me now as a 24 year old. I don't fear for the day that I turn 25 or 26 or 35.. if our relationship is what we both believe it to be.. age is only a number. For us...our relationship is based on our emotional connection and our desire to be by each others side. Question 7 To Daddy Doms & those they partner with & with everyone in our community… What is being done already to protect innocents from harm? (This is at the core of what frightens me… is there a difference, if so, how can we tell?) How many "innocents" are on this site? We're all deviants. [;)] If you are again talking about protecting children.. then you're talking about a pedophile and not a Daddy Dom. I sincerely hope we can skip the defense of the kink… THAT is not the issue, and there is an abundance of that point of view already. Could we focus on this other concern, please? Thank you, Everyone. I hope this cleared some things up...again, I answered all your questions from my perspective... Please read the link I attached in the cmail. Allie
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