RE: Why A Slave? (Full Version)

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tazzygirl -> RE: Why A Slave? (6/4/2013 10:12:52 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
I keep feeling that if we say that name often enough in one thread he'll appear, like an evil spirit or something.

I know, right? It's kind of like He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.


I can do that. I already have a She-who-must-not-be-named [:D]



JeffBC -> RE: Why A Slave? (6/4/2013 10:13:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
I almost killed myself after it ended, and I can assure you that I feared him at several points before, during, and after our relationship. Though not continuously so.

Well sure, yeah. But what would you know about you?



Greta75 -> RE: Why A Slave? (6/4/2013 10:16:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
I almost killed myself after it ended, and I can assure you that I feared him at several points before, during, and after our relationship. Though not continuously so.

If you were suicidal after it ended, then clearly it was unhealthy.
I don't why y you people are trying to justify that these things are okay.
What's happened to doms being concern about the sub's emotional and mental welfare, clearly all thrown out the window and not a domly requirement anymore.






tazzygirl -> RE: Why A Slave? (6/4/2013 10:18:08 PM)

Never seen a grieving person become suicidal? There is a grief process we go through at the end of such relationships.



Greta75 -> RE: Why A Slave? (6/4/2013 10:22:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
Never seen a grieving person become suicidal? There is a grief process we go through at the end of such relationships.

Well, I don't think this chick will be suicidal because of grief of end of the relationship.
She is suicidal because she doesn't know how she can survive with him anymore, and also don't know how she can survive on her own, really practical living stuffs, like taking care of herself, making her own money, taking care of her own welfare. Makes her feel there is no way out.
That's her suicidal reason.
Not for love, or broken heart.



UllrsIshtar -> RE: Why A Slave? (6/4/2013 10:24:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

She is suicidal because she doesn't know how she can survive with him anymore, and also don't know how she can survive on her own. Makes her feel there is no way out.


Yup that was mine as well.

I didn't think I could go on living without him in my life. I didn't think I'd ever get over him. I didn't think I'd ever regain control over my own life, or mind. And I didn't think I could exist without him directing me on what to do.

Yet, you told me a couple posts ago "Even as you speak, it's feels like a whole different vibe. You do not fear him. You enjoyed his control."

Interesting huh?



tazzygirl -> RE: Why A Slave? (6/4/2013 10:26:00 PM)

There are times I still miss it.



Greta75 -> RE: Why A Slave? (6/4/2013 10:26:11 PM)

quote:


Yet, you told me a couple posts ago "Even as you speak, it's feels like a whole different vibe. You do not fear him. You enjoyed his control."


As I said to Tazzy, his abusive if you feel his abusive towards you. But you don't feel his abusive, so his not abusive, I believe you and am not gonna try to convince you otherwise. You are happy with that everything he did wasn't abusive towards you, infact you felt it wasn't abusive enough, and how you feel is the most important thing. I can see that you don't look back at this think of how badly abused you were, so you weren't abused.

This other chick feels her dom is abusive and that is her opinion too, and I believe her too.



UllrsIshtar -> RE: Why A Slave? (6/4/2013 10:28:50 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

There are times I still miss it.


I mainly miss how extreme everything was. How the unbelievable low valleys where offset with deliriously high highs that seem unattainable now.

I've gotten into more and more extreme sadism and bottoming just to regain some of the extremes in the moment. I like my self-control too much, so I don't miss the control too much. But I desperately miss how easy it was to feel alive with every fiber of my being with him.



Greta75 -> RE: Why A Slave? (6/4/2013 10:29:48 PM)

The problem with you ladies is, you cannot imagine a woman actually thinking such extremes are abusive to her.

It's not to you, because it's your kink.



UllrsIshtar -> RE: Why A Slave? (6/4/2013 10:32:37 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

This other chick feels her dom is abusive and that is her opinion too, and I believe her too.



Euhm, hold on... wait a minute here... that's not what you said before.

Before you said that based on what she said, you believed that she thinks he's crossing a line.

Are you retracting that statement and now claiming that she said that she feels he's abusive?

Or didn't she say that at all, and you're just drawing conclusions about what you think she said implies, like you've been doing with me (wrongly) all night?



UllrsIshtar -> RE: Why A Slave? (6/4/2013 10:34:08 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

The problem with you ladies is, you cannot imagine a woman actually thinking such extremes are abusive to her.

It's not to you, because it's your kink.


Again with the assumption.

I can very well imagine such extremes being abusive. What I can't imagine is that you're accurately portraying what she said, after you've jumped to a dozen incorrect conclusions of what I've said in less than 2 hours.



tazzygirl -> RE: Why A Slave? (6/4/2013 10:39:18 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar


quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

There are times I still miss it.


I mainly miss how extreme everything was. How the unbelievable low valleys where offset with deliriously high highs that seem unattainable now.

I've gotten into more and more extreme sadism and bottoming just to regain some of the extremes in the moment. I like my self-control too much, so I don't miss the control too much. But I desperately miss how easy it was to feel alive with every fiber of my being with him.


Grins... exactly. That roller-coaster.



tazzygirl -> RE: Why A Slave? (6/4/2013 10:41:04 PM)

quote:

As I said to Tazzy, his abusive if you feel his abusive towards you.


Uh... no. I can say him not letting me run up his credit card is abusive. Is it?



Greta75 -> RE: Why A Slave? (6/4/2013 10:41:09 PM)

quote:




This other chick feels her dom is abusive and that is her opinion too, and I believe her too.



Crossing a line is being abusive. Crossing a line is an understatement.
Everything you said was exactly as I thought about your situation. Make up your mind, I said you weren't abuse and then you went on and on trying to claim you were abused, then say again you weren't abuse. So my first gut about you is right, you weren't abuse.
This chick was completely different, she never contradicted herself at all, her flow was one single message. She's made a mistake, she doesn't know how to get out. This isn't what she envisioned, this isn't what she want, she didn't even expect that she'll be shared. That was omitted before she made the decision to go with him. She isn't asking for things to be more hardcore. Things got too hardcore for her.




Greta75 -> RE: Why A Slave? (6/4/2013 10:43:06 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

quote:

As I said to Tazzy, his abusive if you feel his abusive towards you.


Uh... no. I can say him not letting me run up his credit card is abusive. Is it?

Well, for ridiculous things like that, you'll be the one being abusive to him.



JeffBC -> RE: Why A Slave? (6/4/2013 10:46:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
Grins... exactly. That roller-coaster.

*sighs heavily* Man, I'm doing it wrong again. We don't have much of a roller coaster here nor is life full of tingling dangerous excitement. I just keep quietly extending my control over her and she just keeps obeying and we keep loving each other. I am so freakin boring.



tazzygirl -> RE: Why A Slave? (6/4/2013 10:47:38 PM)

Let me give you an example. We were rough housing one day, pushing and shoving each other, and both laughing about it. he suddenly pushed, I was wearing socks on carpet so my feet slipped, and I fell over a chair. As I fell, I landed on my back, my shoulder hitting an out facing corner. I have a partial tear of my rotator cuff as a result.

Now, had I said ...

"He pushed me! I have a massive black bruise on my arm and I hurt my shoulder badly, ripped something.. omg! He abused me!!"

But, as you can tell, by the events I described, he didnt.

This is called.. personal responsibility. I wont label someone an abuser who wasnt. I feared his anger at times, I feared his silence even more. He physically punished me once.. and while i had a bruised ass for two weeks, he went white as a ghost each time he saw the bruises.

IF he had beat me... IF he had made no attempts that i was dry and had a warm place to sleep. If he had neglected me, beyond neglecting my heart, I could see calling it abusive. He did none of those things. He did exactly what he promised he would do. Ihad a bed, I had a roof over my head, I had clean clothes, warm food, and the security of knowing a strong man was there to take care of me.

I really could not ask for more... because that is all he promised me.



tazzygirl -> RE: Why A Slave? (6/4/2013 10:49:51 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
Grins... exactly. That roller-coaster.

*sighs heavily* Man, I'm doing it wrong again. We don't have much of a roller coaster here nor is life full of tingling dangerous excitement. I just keep quietly extending my control over her and she just keeps obeying and we keep loving each other. I am so freakin boring.


Oh no... lol... that roller-coaster is addictive to someone like me. I think thats why I call myself an emotional masochist. I am learning to enjoy the stability of a settled relationship..and I like that as well. Lots less tears... lots less arguments... lots more laughter and smiles. I just dont have those highs anymore either. But its a small price to pay, I think.



tazzygirl -> RE: Why A Slave? (6/4/2013 10:50:51 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75


quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

quote:

As I said to Tazzy, his abusive if you feel his abusive towards you.


Uh... no. I can say him not letting me run up his credit card is abusive. Is it?

Well, for ridiculous things like that, you'll be the one being abusive to him.


But, if I were angry, and petty over not getting my way, imagine the things I could make up.



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