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Notsweet -> RE: If I report that James lives with me, can they count his income against what i can make on SSI? (2/24/2013 6:22:54 PM)
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TFB, please excuse me for talking about you as though you weren't here, but I'm addressing this to the other people in the room. Then I'm going to address you.
I can understand people's frustration with TFB, but snark, sarcasm, honesty, or anything like it isn't going to help. Since it looks as though everyone here knows that she starts a thread asking for help, gets advice and doesn't take it, why get entangled in it? What if... when she starts a similar thread, people don't get emotionally invested in it (and that's the problem--you WANT to help, but you can't), and just say the equivalent to "Good for you," "Good luck," or something similar to that? It's hard not to get emotional. It's hard to see someone ask for help, and harder to see them appear to ignore the advice.
At some point, most of us had someone, somewhere down the line who showed us a direction. Most of us are sharp enough to get it. Some of us need constant help and hand-holding because of some disability, illness, or trauma. These are developmental disorders--not just mental retardation, but other disabilities that result in delayed or cessation of development.
I'm not making excuses here, and not to put politics into it, but if you know me, lol, you know I'm not exactly a huge fan of social programs, and that I think they are vastly wasted and abused. That's right, I'm a conservative. But there are some people who need assistance in many ways, and THAT is what the programs are supposed to be used for.
You can't parse what she says (i.e., I don't want to work full-time) because chances are she has no idea what she's actually expressing. I would bet that she doesn't know what it means to work full time, she apparently has never done it, so there's a fear factor here. She knows she's doing the wrong things, and can't seem to see a big picture. It doesn't look like she has all the pieces to put together the puzzle. For some of us, that comes really easily. For some, we've really had to work at it. And for some people, they don't really have the mental competence to put it together.
It's clear to me that people in her life are taking advantage of her, to an extent, and that others are relieved to have some of the responsibility diffused. I'm familiar enough with Social Services (and if you've worked there, you know ithis too well) to know that when you've got 55-85-105 cases on your desk, you don't have the time or resources to figure out what's best for each client, what would cover all their needs, or to follow up. Why social workers aren't all bald, I don't know. But TFB comes here and asks because she knows how to come here and ask. Telling her where to find it herself would work if she could actually handle it, but she's got trouble comprehending that what she asked last week is the same as this week.
I AM NOT A LICENSED THERAPIST. And I'm completely unable to diagnose what sort of problem she has--I can only interpret what I see here. But unless someone else already has this information, I'm going to look to see if I can find an agency near her that has the resources to get her moving along. There is NO single agency that covers all of her needs, and the agencies that DO help her are not in touch with each other. They can't. Their caseloads are too heavy.
(A political-sounding point here. If people weren't allowed to abuse the system, there would be more than plenty of resources for the people who need them. And that's not political, it's government bureaucracy versus citizen.)
Now, yes, I understand that there are things that TFB is doing that appear to be gaming the system. That was my first reaction, but then I realized, she's probably not getting anything she's not entitled to, but likely getting each thing under the wrong appropriation. That's because someone needs to sort through her needs, match them to the appropriate program, and get her "legal."
Believe it or not, and agree with it or not, but she's entitled to live where and with whom she wants, health care, food stamps, job assistance, mental health care, education and rehabilitation, internet access, a phone, free transportation, and a myriad of other things. Do I agree with these programs? Not all of them. But physical disabilities and mental disabilities are not the same thing, and if she doesn't know where to begin, telling her over and over again won't help. Modelling behavior and physical supervision helps.
Now, TFB. I'm going to do a little bit of research for you. I'm not making any promises. But I'm going to see if there isn't some way of getting you a better idea of what it is that will help you. I will private mail you. Is that ok?
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