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Unique protocols, rules, and rituals. - 2/26/2013 7:13:43 PM   
Beirin


Posts: 12
Joined: 12/17/2012
Status: offline 		I am very interested right now in rituals and protocols, just to see what's out there. I've done some pretty extensive searching here on the message boards and anywhere else on the internet I could think of. A lot of what I've come across so far is just variations of the same thing. For anyone that is willing to share, do you have any rules, rituals or protocols that are unique and different from everything else that's out there?

I am also very interested in what people have come up with in regard to hand gestures, postures or positions that a sub/slave could use when put on speech restrictions, or just simply in place of verbal communication.
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RE: Unique protocols, rules, and rituals. - 2/26/2013 7:17:39 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		http://www.mshouseholdregistry.com/Master_Fire/House_of_Fire_main.htm

http://www.amazon.com/Manual-Creation-Defining-Structure-Household/dp/1887895817

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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Beirin)
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RE: Unique protocols, rules, and rituals. - 2/26/2013 7:27:36 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Sorry, we don't have any. My only rules are to obey, be pleasing and serve.


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RE: Unique protocols, rules, and rituals. - 2/26/2013 7:38:52 PM   
Beirin


Posts: 12
Joined: 12/17/2012
Status: offline 		Thank you RedMagic1. I did read Master Fire's website in my earlier researching. Unfortunately, I do not have the ability to buy her book. :(

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RE: Unique protocols, rules, and rituals. - 2/26/2013 7:58:55 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		Well now since I dont know everyones protocols out thete, nor these variations that you are running into, I wouldnt be very helpful in that different or just variations on part.

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RE: Unique protocols, rules, and rituals. - 2/26/2013 8:18:53 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		A lot of people get confused in the difference between a protocol and a ritual. A protocol is a standard way things are done. That can mean a set of protocols for a type of event, community, or a particular lifestyle. For example, I'm a leather person. When I go to a high protocol leather event, I know who is a senior or junior leather man to Me so that I know who speaks first during introductions, who may have to wait until I'm doing speaking to be acknowledged, where My slave's introduction comes into the exchange, etc.

A ritual is something that is individual to the dynamic. Those are created between the participants and are pretty much open to how people want to express themselves. Some rituals you will find that many people have in common, but they aren't universal. The s-type kneeling when the M-type comes home is something that a number of people have in place. For other folks, especially if there are small kids in the house, that doesn't always work so well, so they may do their greeting ritual in the privacy of their room, rather than first in the door.

I don't do a lot of speech restriction with the exception of higher end events. The most common one that I use would be pointing at the floor of where I want him. Generally, on occasions like that, he doesn't really need to speak until he's been addressed. Of course, we do use hand signals during play if he happens to be gagged and can't verbally respond. If it's a situation where I have told him to kneel because I want his full attention during instruction, that's probably not the time he wants to interrupt, verbally or non.

If you are interested in various physical positions, I'd really encourage you to go with books. Many have diagrams or pictures that you can see, rather than trying to describe them on a message board.


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RE: Unique protocols, rules, and rituals. - 2/26/2013 8:23:14 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline 		About the only such thing we have is that if we're in public and I want Carol to check her behavior for whatever reason I'll casually put a hand on her shoulder and tug some hair strands.

Other than that, the big protocol around here is "just fucking obey"

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I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

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RE: Unique protocols, rules, and rituals. - 2/26/2013 8:43:49 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		In public He usually just gives me a look and I know or a pinch or something like that. Other things I think just come naturally to us I guess as "rituals" or "protocols". For example, when we're out he usually walks ahead of me but I think that came about because I have short legs and he walks twice as fast as me lol. He gets tired of waiting up for me. Like I said, none of it has ever been spoken. It just organically is that way with us.

But otherwise I make dinner, I do the laundry, I make sure everything that needs done is done, he usually speaks first in other company, I sleep in the wet spot.

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RE: Unique protocols, rules, and rituals. - 2/26/2013 8:51:42 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline 		Oh heck... you just made me think of another one. Good lord we have TWO protocols nowadays. We may be becoming "high protocol" LOL

But Carol walks on my left when we are walking. In fact this was done specifically for mindfulness reasons which is, as I understand it, the normal BDSM reason for this stuff. I think that's the first time I've ever introduced a protocol for that reason but Carol was getting distracted in busy environments outside the house.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to littlewonder)
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RE: Unique protocols, rules, and rituals. - 2/26/2013 8:54:59 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		oohhh...I do that sometimes too, especially if it's a shopping area. He can sometimes find me waaay behind him when he looks back.

I can't help it! There are shoes in those darn windows! A girl cannot pass that up!

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RE: Unique protocols, rules, and rituals. - 2/26/2013 9:20:36 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline 		Yeah, I got tired of that "where the fuck is my slave?" moment. So now I just walk where I want to go and expect her to be on my left elbow at all times.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Unique protocols, rules, and rituals. - 2/26/2013 9:22:46 PM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		One I remember from the past; he always wanted me to hold his hand when crossing streets. He was much taller and could see further, and I didn't have much experience with city traffic then. So it was his way of knowing where I was and that I was with him.

I pretty much always walked behind him a little ways, mostly because he was so much taller and took longer steps. Even though I walk fast, it was hard to keep up with him sometimes. Lots of skipping, or just jogging. =p
And in some ways, I dunno - hey, I'm shy, and it was kinda nice to be able to retreat to the back.

I get confused sometimes on ritual vs protocol, too (great explanation, LP ^_^) - if he had specific plans for the evening and I was going to be home first, he'd leave clues as to the plan, and how he wanted me to organize myself. Certain words or behaviors to set up the headspace, etc etc.

But most of it wasn't prescribed, mandated stuff -- it was just us being ourselves together, etc etc etc.

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"Obey your Master." Metallica


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RE: Unique protocols, rules, and rituals. - 2/27/2013 1:03:03 AM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		My very first dom expected me to say once I answered the phone,I stand before you Sir, and he would say you stand in honor if I was not in trouble. If I was in trouble, and it was BIG trouble then it was you stand in disgrace. I was to also say nothing unless asked until I was told you may speak freely.


If I was getting to mouthy, then he would say to speak carefully, and if I had made him mad , well then he told me to be silent.

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One world under lube with vibrators and dildo's for all! quote from the sex toy 101 book

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RE: Unique protocols, rules, and rituals. - 2/27/2013 7:59:20 AM   
Beirin


Posts: 12
Joined: 12/17/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

Oh heck... you just made me think of another one. Good lord we have TWO protocols nowadays. We may be becoming "high protocol" LOL

But Carol walks on my left when we are walking. In fact this was done specifically for mindfulness reasons which is, as I understand it, the normal BDSM reason for this stuff. I think that's the first time I've ever introduced a protocol for that reason but Carol was getting distracted in busy environments outside the house.



LOL You're a riot Jeff!

With my first 24/7 Master, I walked beside him on his left. That was so his "sword" arm was free and available in case he had to protect me from anything. With my current Owner, I tend to walk behind him, simply because he walks too fast for me to keep up!

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RE: Unique protocols, rules, and rituals. - 2/27/2013 8:02:01 AM   
Beirin


Posts: 12
Joined: 12/17/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

My very first dom expected me to say once I answered the phone,I stand before you Sir, and he would say you stand in honor if I was not in trouble. If I was in trouble, and it was BIG trouble then it was you stand in disgrace. I was to also say nothing unless asked until I was told you may speak freely.


If I was getting to mouthy, then he would say to speak carefully, and if I had made him mad , well then he told me to be silent.


Thank you very much Topping. Answering the phone like that is one that I hadn't heard of before. It sounds like a very effective way to instantly know exactly where you stood with him.

(in reply to Toppingfrmbottom)
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RE: Unique protocols, rules, and rituals. - 2/27/2013 8:22:23 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		When I'm with Master, I'm not allowed to open my own car door. He also opens doors to restaurants and stores, although that rule is more flexible than the car rule.



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RE: Unique protocols, rules, and rituals. - 2/27/2013 9:08:53 AM   
Beirin


Posts: 12
Joined: 12/17/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

When I'm with Master, I'm not allowed to open my own car door. He also opens doors to restaurants and stores, although that rule is more flexible than the car rule.




I had that one as well with my former Master. With my Owner now though, whenever we're all going somewhere, he just tells me to get in the car.

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RE: Unique protocols, rules, and rituals. - 2/27/2013 9:13:16 AM   
MistressJude


Posts: 89
Joined: 1/8/2005
From: NC
Status: offline 		http://sweetsurrender.org/manual.html is my own list of rules and order covering several areas

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*Don't be afraid to go out on a limb... that's where all the fruit is*
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RE: Unique protocols, rules, and rituals. - 2/27/2013 9:48:57 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Beirin
With my first 24/7 Master, I walked beside him on his left. That was so his "sword" arm was free and available in case he had to protect me from anything.

LOLOL. Yeah well since I don't normally wear a sword when I go to the mall I'm afraid my reasoning was a bit more pragmatic and inspired more by The Dog Whisperer than Gor.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to Beirin)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Unique protocols, rules, and rituals. - 2/27/2013 1:59:13 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		It was. All though usually i had no false impression of when i had fucked up royally, i already knew it lol.

Had we made it to the meet in real life more than once point, I would have been required to present myself to him in that fashion, but my arms were to be behind my head elbows out, in the I am going to arrest you stance, and i wouldn't have been to drop the stance till he said you may stand freely.



quote:

ORIGINAL: Beirin


quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

My very first dom expected me to say once I answered the phone,I stand before you Sir, and he would say you stand in honor if I was not in trouble. If I was in trouble, and it was BIG trouble then it was you stand in disgrace. I was to also say nothing unless asked until I was told you may speak freely.


If I was getting to mouthy, then he would say to speak carefully, and if I had made him mad , well then he told me to be silent.


Thank you very much Topping. Answering the phone like that is one that I hadn't heard of before. It sounds like a very effective way to instantly know exactly where you stood with him.




_____________________________

One world under lube with vibrators and dildo's for all! quote from the sex toy 101 book

(in reply to Beirin)
Profile   Post #: 20
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