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RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 2:55:37 PM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
I doubt people would be telling anybody with an underage diabetic child these eating habits were ok. We'd call that child abuse.


That's now off topic, but the sad thing is, that at my pre-previous employer where I worked with teenage boys, (with most of them already having entered the criminal path) I even had a manager who ridiculed me twice when I addressed the fact that I had a problem with it, that our new-ish kid at that time, who was an insulin dependent diabetic kid and about 12 years old, got a 1 litre bottle of coke from school as a "present" for good behaviour from his teacher....he felt that this is not so much of a problem...

After he dismissed it the first time I addressed it again when soon later a diabetic nurse joined our team due to that boy being in our group and as he ridiculed e again about it she made clear to him, that this are actually 10 bread units already and that his attitude about that is very uncalled for....THEN he finally started to take it serious

So sadly....even in fields where people should take it seriously, there are still some who does not necessarily take it serious enough...

On the other hand I agree to this:

quote:

Like the rest of us, when the child starts taking advantage, acting out, or can't control themselves, that's where the parents step in. That's the JOB of a parent.

Cause quite frankly, what some parents don't realise, is, if they don't do their job to step in and the kid goes off the rails....well, then there is a huge chance that they will come to my field of work....and that's certainly not nicer for them to live there, than to be able to live with parents who bothered to tow the line where necessary....
 
sometimes at work kids or youths try to go down the emotional route a la "you are so harsh that means you can't stand me (dont love me)"....but when I then reply "ever bothered to consider that I am actually so harsh on you because you are important to me/you do matter to me" they usually suck up that phrase and get it...cause if I would not stick to the agreements we have, and follow them through, then I would just be doing what their parents already did....give a damn about how they are behaving and how their future will be turning out...

quote:

I admit, I'm a lot harsher than some folks. I'm a tow the line kind of chick. If fast food is a problem, there's no more about how hard it is to cook, etc. You just don't eat any more fast food PERIOD. I can promise you that it can be done. The problem is that TFTB has access and no will power.

well....you do sound convincing

quote:

The problem is that TFTB has access and no will power.

have to agree on that front....
 

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RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 2:56:39 PM   
TheLilSquaw


Posts: 2340
Joined: 10/24/2012
From: Middle River, MD
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

Ok, SSI said they can not give me any information about advocates or programs they may have.



Wait... SSI said they couldn't give you information about THEIR programs such as THEIR Ticket to Work Program?





< Message edited by TheLilSquaw -- 3/1/2013 2:58:36 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 82
RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 3:06:39 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		Ticket to work programs in CA:
http://www.chooseworkttw.net/resource/jsp/SearchByStateAction.jsp

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RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 3:26:02 PM   
TheLilSquaw


Posts: 2340
Joined: 10/24/2012
From: Middle River, MD
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

Ticket to work programs in CA:
http://www.chooseworkttw.net/resource/jsp/SearchByStateAction.jsp



She was given that by a couple of people in her last thread.
I guess I am just stunned by the statement that they refused to give her information on their programs.



< Message edited by TheLilSquaw -- 3/1/2013 3:28:56 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 84
RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 4:28:35 PM   
Notsweet


Posts: 873
Joined: 6/11/2006
Status: offline 		I don't know what made me think the parents had issues. But I was under that impression.

Hmmmm.

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Profile   Post #: 85
RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 4:56:26 PM   
calamitysandra


Posts: 1682
Joined: 3/17/2006
Status: offline 		I am pretty sure that there actually are some serious problems with her parents. There would have been a reason for her to be taken into CPS custody as a teen.

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Profile   Post #: 86
RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 4:59:16 PM   
Notsweet


Posts: 873
Joined: 6/11/2006
Status: offline 		Yeah, there's not exactly a huge rush to pull kids unless they're in immediate danger, or are one.

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Profile   Post #: 87
RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 5:22:58 PM   
stephINca


Posts: 87
Joined: 1/19/2013
Status: offline 		I fail to understand how SSI knowing what your "new" diagnosis helps you get treatment. Medical or medicare will still treat you for anything. Only reason to involve SSI is if you are after more money. Yeah I know people will be pissed at me but its the truth.

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Profile   Post #: 88
RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 5:29:58 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		My dad yes, he's worked since he was 12 , but my mom no. She's been a house wife all her life, and she grew up in a time where you didn't get in trouble for not sending your kids to school according to her , and was kept home from school to help out . My moms never had a job, that I know of or finished school, she isn't very goods at reading or math, she needs help spelling the most basic things, she's always asking me how to spell things like Dorothy, And Sophie, and what does ..... mean and spelling the word. She was never anything but a stay at home wife she went from an extremely abusive home to married to my dad, and my dad has always managed the finances and looked after her and managed running the household. She ran things to an extent, when Dad was at work and we kids were home, and he used to get sent out of town on business trips and she had to be in charge. But to be honest she's not very independant, She is emotionally and mentally messed up and never saught to get any kind of help, so she's still fucked up in the head. and she doesn't have to be. Well not yet anyway, lets hope she goes before my dad, or she'd be in a world of hurt . As harsh as that sounds.
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: Notsweet

Have not both parents been full time employees, responsible for household finances, and contributing members of society for all of their adult lives? Did I miss something?



< Message edited by Toppingfrmbottom -- 3/1/2013 5:39:10 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 89
RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 5:35:31 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline
Yes. They said that they couldn't give me any information on the programs I can get as a disabled person on SSI, they didn't have access to that information/ those kinds of things, and I told them I needed an advocate, someone who will point me in the right direction for things that i am un aware of that could help me, and they said, we don't provide those and I don't know who does.


They did tell me a little information about the right to work program, but it was more along the lines of how much they'd cut my SSI by, if I went to work and not how to get started or pick a program or nothing of that line. Which was what i was hoping for.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLilSquaw

[ait... SSI said they couldn't give you information about THEIR programs such as THEIR Ticket to Work Program?






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Profile   Post #: 90
RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 5:37:10 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		Yes, there was. I reported them for abusing me. They had been abusing me and to some degree my brother since I was old enough to remember. And yes, when I turned 18 I chose to live with them.
quote:

ORIGINAL: calamitysandra

I am pretty sure that there actually are some serious problems with her parents. There would have been a reason for her to be taken into CPS custody as a teen.



< Message edited by Toppingfrmbottom -- 3/1/2013 5:45:28 PM >

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RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 5:42:16 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline
I was told to go speak to an officer at the SSI office, and they said I have to ask my DR to refer me to a specialist.

There's classes I don't qualify for because I am to old, the ILS program, which I have mentioned once, for example the ages are 16 to 20. So at 30 I am way beyond the age cut off, and or to get into those kind of programs you have to be declared retarded, or have something like cerebral palsy, none of which i have. If it was founf out that I do have retardation of some kind, then those programs will be open to me when now they are not.
quote:

ORIGINAL: stephINca

I fail to understand how SSI knowing what your "new" diagnosis helps you get treatment. Medical or medicare will still treat you for anything. Only reason to involve SSI is if you are after more money. Yeah I know people will be pissed at me but its the truth.



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Profile   Post #: 92
RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 5:49:01 PM   
TheLilSquaw


Posts: 2340
Joined: 10/24/2012
From: Middle River, MD
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom


Yes. They said that they couldn't give me any information on the programs I can get as a disabled person on SSI, they didn't have access to that information/ those kinds of things, and I told them I needed an advocate, someone who will point me in the right direction for things that i am un aware of that could help me, and they said, we don't provide those and I don't know who does.


They did tell me a little information about the right to work program, but it was more along the lines of how much they'd cut my SSI by, if I went to work and not how to get started or pick a program or nothing of that line. Which was what i was hoping for.



You can get information for the Ticket to Work program from the site. (which you have been given a handful of times)


You can get information for the Ticket to Work program by calling their number. Which is on their site. Have Questions Or Want To Contact Us?

I know because well I've done it.

I am not sure if Social Security provides advocates. I know they referred my son to ARC.
I do know they provide payees.

Here is a link to NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) they are an advocacy group for people with mental illnesses. NAMI HelpLine They have a 800 number posted.



< Message edited by TheLilSquaw -- 3/1/2013 6:05:34 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 93
RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 6:14:39 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		What is ARC? I have called the ticket to work program and they are sending a packet.


quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLilSquaw

You can get information for the Ticket to Work program from the site. (which you have been given a handful of times)


You can get information for the Ticket to Work program by calling their number. Which is on their site. I am not sure if Social Security provides advocates. I know they referred my son to ARC.
I do know they provide payees.

Here is a link to NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) they are an advocacy group for people with mental illnesses. NAMI HelpLine They have a 800 number posted.





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Profile   Post #: 94
RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 7:40:37 PM   
TheLilSquaw


Posts: 2340
Joined: 10/24/2012
From: Middle River, MD
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

What is ARC? I have called the ticket to work program and they are sending a packet.




It's a support organization in my area for adults and children with developmental disabilities. They offer a wide range of services and support. I knew of similar programs in Merced, Ca but not in the Sac area.


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RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/2/2013 2:27:01 AM   
needlesandpins


Posts: 3901
Status: offline 		alot of this thread doesn't ring correctly with me.

i'm not going to appologise for my stance either, but from experience of TFB's past posts, and how it always goes i'm inclined to side with those accused of being harsh with her.

TFB, you seem to like these lables. it comes across that at the slightest mention of something that could be applied to you you latch onto it as another excuse. for someone that claims to have little comprehension of writing and maths you do exceptionally well writing in here. i don't think you are anywhere near as bad as you claim to be.

i do think that you have been let down by your parents, and authorities. however, that lets down comes from them not being tougher on you and making you stop being lazy and follow through with things. my son has had some serious learning difficulties, and still has comprehension problems. as a responsible parent though i have instilled into him that the only way to be better is to fight hard for yourself. no matter how hard something is within your capabilities there is always someone to help you, but the person that will help you the most is yourself. if you want something enough you will fight hard to get it. we all find some things difficult, but we don't all give in when it gets tough.

you mention that you are disabled, but how exactly? because nothing about you comes over to me that you couldn't actually be working instead of claiming from the social. as others have said, the only reason that i see for involving the ssi is that you are after more money. the fact that your parents are against you being re-assessed incase they stop your money suggests to me that they think there is not enough wrong with you to warrent what you are getting already.

go to your DR if you think you have such problems, but seriously what does it matter other than it's just something else for you to apply to yourself as a reason to not do things?

harsh i maybe, but then i hate seeing people constantly ask for help, but then ignore the best of the advice because it doesn't pander to the attention that is actually being sought. i also know that people that really want to change their lives ask for advice and use it, no matter how harsh that maybe.

needles

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RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/2/2013 5:05:49 AM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

alot of this thread doesn't ring correctly with me.

i'm not going to appologise for my stance either, but from experience of TFB's past posts, and how it always goes i'm inclined to side with those accused of being harsh with her.

TFB, you seem to like these lables. it comes across that at the slightest mention of something that could be applied to you you latch onto it as another excuse. for someone that claims to have little comprehension of writing and maths you do exceptionally well writing in here. i don't think you are anywhere near as bad as you claim to be.

i do think that you have been let down by your parents, and authorities. however, that lets down comes from them not being tougher on you and making you stop being lazy and follow through with things. my son has had some serious learning difficulties, and still has comprehension problems. as a responsible parent though i have instilled into him that the only way to be better is to fight hard for yourself. no matter how hard something is within your capabilities there is always someone to help you, but the person that will help you the most is yourself. if you want something enough you will fight hard to get it. we all find some things difficult, but we don't all give in when it gets tough.

you mention that you are disabled, but how exactly? because nothing about you comes over to me that you couldn't actually be working instead of claiming from the social. as others have said, the only reason that i see for involving the ssi is that you are after more money. the fact that your parents are against you being re-assessed incase they stop your money suggests to me that they think there is not enough wrong with you to warrent what you are getting already.

go to your DR if you think you have such problems, but seriously what does it matter other than it's just something else for you to apply to yourself as a reason to not do things?

harsh i maybe, but then i hate seeing people constantly ask for help, but then ignore the best of the advice because it doesn't pander to the attention that is actually being sought. i also know that people that really want to change their lives ask for advice and use it, no matter how harsh that maybe.

needles


This. She has never struck me as being disabled. Socially dysfunctional...yes. That's not a disability.
She's quite able to interact effectively here. There are definitely jobs out there that she could do.
But that would mean no more free ride...


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RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/2/2013 5:20:24 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		That she appears to function effectively here doesn't mean she's capable of transferring those skills to other areas of her life.

I'm willing to bet that most social services people she runs into think the same way you do, that's she lazy, that she could get a job if she wanted, that she's using the system.

All that's easy to say if you haven't walked in her shoes, you know?

I'm the product of an abusive childhood. That I didn't die a junkie early on is down to pure, dumb luck. I stumbled across some people willing to look behind my rebellious facade to try and help me. You have no idea how hard it is to overcome early childhood abuse unless you've done it.

I'm willing to say those who have done it had help and support in some way.

That she regularly reaches out for help and support on this forum tells me she doesn't want to let life beat her down. Personally, I think a great supportive environment would help her transform herself into a much more competent person all around. B/c she's still motivated, she just has no follow-through.

So many people are looking at where she is and asking why she hasn't done better. I look and give her credit for not being in much worse shape.


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RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/2/2013 5:46:23 AM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt
All that's easy to say if you haven't walked in her shoes, you know?

I'm the product of an abusive childhood. That I didn't die a junkie early on is down to pure, dumb luck. I stumbled across some people willing to look behind my rebellious facade to try and help me. You have no idea how hard it is to overcome early childhood abuse unless you've done it.

I'm willing to say those who have done it had help and support in some way.


Very well said

_____________________________

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The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

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Profile   Post #: 99
RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/2/2013 9:23:26 AM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		Needlesandpins, you need to reread what I said. I never said I have difficulties in math and writing.

I said I couldnt understand what the teacher wanted from me when I couldnt get the essay he wanted me to do.


I also have trouble with spelling things, grammar, sentance structure and all the technical abilities that comes with tne subject. And if you dont believe that I have atrocious spelling, think back to when I first stsrted posting and I wasnt using a spell check program. Or ask anyone else that remembers. My posts were lousy with mistakes and they were pretty hard to read.


I have talked about many times in detail how I have been determined BY QUALIFIED PROFESSIONALS AND TESTING how I am disabled. If you dont want to believe what I havs stated, honestly and plainly, its not my job ,nor will I explain it to you.

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Profile   Post #: 100
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