RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about retesting for new disabilities.

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RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 2/28/2013 8:30:12 PM

TheLilSquaw

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From: Middle River, MD
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quote:

ORIGINAL: servantforuse

A year or two or three from now everything will be the same. TFB will still be looking for help and those who feel sorry for her will still be trying to help her.

And just as you believe TFB will be the same I believe some people will be ATTACKING others just as they now rather than behavior, actions, believes, opinions, ect.

Why? It's what they know!

If change was easy, the world wouldn't be in the state it is in frankly.

< Message edited by TheLilSquaw -- 2/28/2013 8:31:52 PM >

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Post #: 41

RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 2/28/2013 8:47:51 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

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Anybody ever notice that the more I ignore him the angrier he seems to get? It's like somehow seeing he can't get a rise out of me offends him or something. like I am denying him his one joy and he feels cheated.

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Post #: 42

RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 2/28/2013 9:05:45 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

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When I was in 12th grade there was this mentally retarded girl and she was cognitively pretty young I guess, and some of the jocks and the higher grade kids would gather around her in a big circle, actually ask her to do humiliating things, like mooo like a cow, and bark like a dog, and she'd happily do so because she didn't realize they were picking on her and trying to degrade her, they thought it was hilarious that she was "to stupid" to realize what they were doing.

Well I walked up to her and introduced myself made friends with her and put a stop to that bullshit. When ever I saw these people doing that to her I just took her hand an said come on Mary lets go sit in the sun somewhere, and I walked away with her. away.

Yes SeekingTrinity, i am disabled.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SeekingTrinity

I honestly wouldnt answer your questions either because we all know what that means. Its just more fodder for another round of bullying and being nasty. I truly find it sad that your big aim in life is to specifically target someone who from what I gather is disabled in some way or another (if Im correct on that TFB and those who speak with her?). You remind me of the kids in high school who would harass and torment the kids from special education classes as sport. So absolutely sad.

< Message edited by Toppingfrmbottom -- 2/28/2013 9:07:18 PM >

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Post #: 43

RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 2/28/2013 11:30:37 PM

angelikaJ

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quote:

ORIGINAL: servantforuse

A year or two or three from now everything will be the same. TFB will still be looking for help and those who feel sorry for her will still be trying to help her.

Here's the thing: some people really do the very best with what they have.
That, at least. is something you should be able to relate to.

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Post #: 44

RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 2/28/2013 11:45:20 PM

angelikaJ

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quote:

ORIGINAL: servantforuse

This shows me how naive you are about her intention of ever working. She has never had a real job and as long as these services are in place she will never have to.

As someone who has worked in the field for a good stretch I can tell you that my experience has not been like that.

If someone gets the right supports: someone to teach him/her life skills including appropriate social skills and other habilitation-type training for awhile and then gets set up with a good job coach, her life could become something very different.
But you can't get water from a dry well without going deeper.
And sometimes these skills that you and I simply take for granted are a real struggle for someone else without having someone giving them the right tools and strategies.

So, you get a talented person to work with them: to teach, reinforce, cheer-lead and even kick butt once in awhile and remarkable things can be done.
Sometimes a person just needs someone else to help them connect the dots... and sometimes that means having someone there to point the dots out in the first place.

edit: clarity

< Message edited by angelikaJ -- 3/1/2013 12:08:06 AM >

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Post #: 45

RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 2:05:23 AM

Phoenixpower

Posts: 8098
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLilSquaw

quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

I could be wrong, but i don't think you "just" develope either of those diseases.

This is true, however; both are often undiagnosed and misdiagnosed.

Since TFB is on SSI, they are a good resource for testing for such thing. They did have my son tested by their doctors years ago.

TFB, I would simply ask them if they can help you get a cognitive and psychological tests done because you have some concerns. Don't make assumptions or try and diagnose yourself simply label it that concerns.

Very good advice here

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Post #: 46

RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 2:10:05 AM

Phoenixpower

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

They could just be more than quirks, But, having correct diagnoses could help me get the CORRECT help I need. Open doors that were closed to me before.

Indeed....now of course I don't know how it is done in your country, but from my work in the UK I do remember a case where I read that a social worker "believed that the client has got all the benefits she was entitled to"....and after discussing that line with my supervisor during my time there, we decided to double check the benefits she has been on and voila....there were two benefits she did not receive so far....and therefore she lost out on a lot of money she was entitled to up to then...

So yes, certainly check out if there is anything more, which can enable you to get the right help....

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The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

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Post #: 47

RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 2:15:28 AM

Phoenixpower

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quote:

ORIGINAL: servantforuse

So here we go again. For all of those here that think that I and others are being harsh on TFB, she is at it again. Not only will she never try to change her lifestyle one iota, she is now trying to scam the system for even more money...

your comment just reminds me on a comment on TV last night, where a traffic officer was on duty to give tickets to cars who park at the wrong places.....she said they have a note in their office which says "when you park on my car parking space (a space for people with disabilities) then would you please take my disability as well???"

so quite frankly, when you are so worried about it, that her benefits could get increased....then just live her life with her health conditions as well....

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Post #: 48

RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 2:25:54 AM

Phoenixpower

Posts: 8098
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SeekingTrinity

I honestly wouldnt answer your questions either because we all know what that means. Its just more fodder for another round of bullying and being nasty. I truly find it sad that your big aim in life is to specifically target someone who from what I gather is disabled in some way or another (if Im correct on that TFB and those who speak with her?). You remind me of the kids in high school who would harass and torment the kids from special education classes as sport. So absolutely sad.

Indeed, don't feed the troll

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The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

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Post #: 49

RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 2:28:34 AM

Phoenixpower

Posts: 8098
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quote:

ORIGINAL: servantforuse

A year or two or three from now everything will be the same. TFB will still be looking for help and those who feel sorry for her will still be trying to help her.

well, thats still better than what your attitude can lead to....cause your attitude can lead to people giving up on asking for help and live the life of a reclusive spider....not daring to go out anymore....

_____________________________

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The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

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Post #: 50

RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 4:28:57 AM

angelikaJ

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FR: as mentioned, I worked in the field of assisting folks for a number of years.

I attended a great workshop: all of us attending were given one or more differences and/or disabilities.

But for the first part we were given a series of things to do like writing our names while we couldn't see the paper except in a mirror... lacing up things we could only see a mirror, drawing simple figures viewed only through a mirror.
It seemed like it would be easy to complete these things in the proscribed amount of time.
And it was something we all had amazing difficulty with.

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Post #: 51

RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 4:49:23 AM

calamitysandra

Posts: 1682
Joined: 3/17/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: servantforuse

So here we go again. For all of those here that think that I and others are being harsh on TFB, she is at it again. Not only will she never try to change her lifestyle one iota, she is now trying to scam the system for even more money...

You do realise that she is actually doing something that was recommended to her in the other threat? That she took the advice offered and is now acting on it?

Or is all of that nastiness so all-consuming that you are not able to comprehend that?

I truly pity you. As toxic as you are, your world must be a dark and ugly place.

Good on you for listening to the advice you got TFB, keep going.

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Post #: 52

RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 5:51:34 AM

freedomdwarf1

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I think I can understand where servant is coming from.

Here we have TFB, a disabled person (not that it should be any excuse really) that has been given loads of advice in the past and apparently not acted upon it. Even worse, that TFB is constantly on the internet (CM) wailing and bemoaning her problems and still apparently not doing much about it.

He does bring up a couple of salient points though.....
1) She lives with her parents. So where are they in all this?? Where is their help in getting things sorted for her?
2) She also lives with her boyfriend. Same as for the parents.... where is HE? Why isn't he helping her??
3) in conjunction with the two above, where is the support from SSI, her therapist and other professionals that she is in touch with??
4) Why is she left on her own to deal with these things when she clearly cannot cope without additional help??

It does seem very strange to me that people on these boards are helping her as much as we can but the relevant authorities and other people she is in contact with don't appear to be doing very much at all. Why aren't they? Why are they dragging their feet with someone who clearly needs help?

I do wonder if TFB is presenting her case badly and to such and extent that those who should be helping her just cannot grasp the issue.
If she is saying she cannot explain things to them, how come she can do that quite well on these forums?

I must admit that I am exasperated by TFB's efforts (or lack of them) and constantly coming up with some oddities and excuses that bewilder me completely at times. Surely, even if she doesn't know where to find the info she needs she has enough cognitive ability to ask and she clearly shows she can do that by doing precisely that on here.
So to some extent, I do not accept that she didn't know about x, y or z because she can ask the people she sees or can google just like others have done for her on here.

Although I am being very harsh on TFB, I do feel that she isn't putting her best effort into fixing things for herself and expecting others to do all the legwork for her. I can sympathise with her situation as I have a step-daughter with exactly the same attitude and sits on her bum waiting for other people to fix the world for her and hand her the answers on a platter.

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Post #: 53

RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 6:11:51 AM

Phoenixpower

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quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1
where is the support from SSI, her therapist and other professionals that she is in touch with??

Now I can't talk for the US, but talking about it as if her case would be in the UK, therapists and other professionals there only do as much work as they got funded for by social services....so unless they raise awareness that more help is needed and are successful in doing so, they can't do anything more once the assigned time is over...

Over there (where again I don't know how it is in the US) the social work departments are chronically understaffed....therefore unless you raise alert you can easily get overlooked catching dust as a file in their cabinet...

cause that's for example which happened to one family who asked at that time 7 years ago for one week respite care, to get one week off from caring for their severely disabled daughter....which needs attention from her mum every night every two hours....

7 years ago their request has been declined by the panel, saying that further evidence would be necessary before they will give the family that support.....I realised this past request in this file (as I had to reassess them generally) and was glad that I have been able to give them one week respite care at last....

but that being said, I have been a student and therefore had a lower case load than my colleagues....so I had time to actually read more in the file....but when you are overloaded with 80 cases or even more, you tend to just keep trying to get everything done and hopefully not ending up in a case where a kid is getting seriously harmed, with your name appearing all over the papers....

quote:

4) Why is she left on her own to deal with these things when she clearly cannot cope without additional help??

It does seem very strange to me that people on these boards are helping her as much as we can but the relevant authorities and other people she is in contact with don't appear to be doing very much at all. Why aren't they? Why are they dragging their feet with someone who clearly needs help?

As long as she does not requires any further help it means she does not cost any more money to the state and so is likely to get overlooked by the authorities....

In the UK it felt awkward at me at times trying to help families to get more help, and at the same time (whilst talking to them about what additional help would be needed and helpful) having my boss' voice in my head about saving money wherever possible....not a great position to be in....but also sadly at times necessary....

quote:

I do wonder if TFB is presenting her case badly and to such and extent that those who should be helping her just cannot grasp the issue.

well, it does not only depend on it how TFB is presenting her case, it also depends on the person who is perceiving it....and whilst some folks do a great job and take it seriously, there are also others which don't, often also as they are simply overloaded with more seriouses cases in their book...

< Message edited by Phoenixpower -- 3/1/2013 6:14:15 AM >

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Post #: 54

RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 6:17:58 AM

ChatteParfaitt

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Yeah, I understand where servant is coming from as well, and admit to having some frustrations with TFB asking for help and then never following through.

But it is clear to me she has no support from her parents or her 'daddy' (I think daddy needs as much help as she does), has never had support, and quite obviously has numerous developmental issues that interfere with her ability to mature along normal adult lines.

So although servant is advocating she pull herself up by her bootstraps and get a job, that's not going to happen. Should social services be helping her get to a place where she can run a house, shop for groceries, hold down some sort of job? Of course they should.

But let's acknowledge, please, that it is possible for some to fall through the cracks in a major way. She's one of them.

In my never humble opinion, I see her as a victim valiantly striving to improve her situation. She's trying, she's somewhat motivated, but she has no follow-through. This is not unusual in someone with developmental issues.

As for those mentally handicapped holding down jobs, sure it happens, with tons of love and support.

Let me repeat this in case it's not clear: This forum is her support group, she gets none from home.

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RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 6:28:38 AM

freedomdwarf1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt
But let's acknowledge, please, that it is possible for some to fall through the cracks in a major way. She's one of them.

I agree.
It is sad when someone is a victim of the system and falls through the safety net.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt
In my never humble opinion, I see her as a victim valiantly striving to improve her situation. She's trying, she's somewhat motivated, but she has no follow-through. This is not unusual in someone with developmental issues.

I have seen this myself.
Which is why, even if her parents can't/won't help, where is her BF??
Why can't he give her the moral support and help her push??

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt
Let me repeat this in case it's not clear: This forum is her support group, she gets none from home.

So I can see see.
Such a shame that someone who is in such desperate need of help happens to be in a dysfunctional family.
I'm surprised that her therapist or someone else in SSI/social services hasn't come to the aid of the whole family so they can help each other.

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Post #: 56

RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 6:47:17 AM

Notsweet

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Sometimes it's overload, and sometimes it's don't give a fuck, but the social workers only work to rule, and the cracks to fall through are pretty damn big.

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Post #: 57

RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 6:55:36 AM

TheLilSquaw

Posts: 2340
Joined: 10/24/2012
From: Middle River, MD
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1

1) She lives with her parents. So where are they in all this?? Where is their help in getting things sorted for her?
2) She also lives with her boyfriend. Same as for the parents.... where is HE? Why isn't he helping her??
3) in conjunction with the two above, where is the support from SSI, her therapist and other professionals that she is in touch with??
4) Why is she left on her own to deal with these things when she clearly cannot cope without additional help??

1. Sometimes, people simply don't know HOW to help you. Which IMO is the problem with her parents. As a parent of someone with special needs I can tell you it can and is over whelming at times even if I know EXACTLY what his issues are. It was heart breaking before I had a clue and knew why.

I felt helpless.

Then there are some parents like my exhusband who simply can't handle the fact that our son has special needs so he disengages and takes a hand off approach and gets defensive even angry when approached about situations that arise due to our sons disability.

2. Her *coughs* daddy IMO he can't help himself yet alone help her. Plus frankly I don't think he wants her in a better place because then where does that leave him?

3. SSI doesn't give you any real support in my experience with them other than perhaps a state appointed payee (if you ask for it or a court orders it) and perhaps refer you for testing.

From my personal experience a therapist isn't an advocate, they are not always plugged into varies programs ect. Although some therapy groups do have outreach programs connected to them, those are separate programs and those who work in those programs aren't always worth a grain of salt.

4. There are TONS of people who fall through the cracks who aren't getting the support they need, who don't know what support is out there, or how to use it in a manner that they get the most out of it. Many programs are well kept secrets and even within those programs if you don't ask the right questions of the right person you may not realize that you have various options. Hell, even if you ask the right questions people working within the programs often tell you flat out wrong information.

< Message edited by TheLilSquaw -- 3/1/2013 7:06:44 AM >

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Post #: 58

RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 9:47:36 AM

JeffBC

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From: Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLilSquaw
I would also suggest that by someone being properly diagnosed, and using the proper resources in the long run their quality of life and the possibility of them being a productive part of society increases.

Yeah... god forbid we should... you know... seek to help people with disabilities. What sort of society would do something like that? Wouldn't it be cheaper and more efficient simply to hire them as freaks in circus acts?

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Post #: 59

RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 9:50:01 AM

TheLilSquaw

Posts: 2340
Joined: 10/24/2012
From: Middle River, MD
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLilSquaw
I would also suggest that by someone being properly diagnosed, and using the proper resources in the long run their quality of life and the possibility of them being a productive part of society increases.

Yeah... god forbid we should... you know... seek to help people with disabilities. What sort of society would do something like that? Wouldn't it be cheaper and more efficient simply to hire them as freaks in circus acts?

Jeff,

I hope your post wasn't suggesting that I didn't think that people with disabilities shouldn't receive help or that they belonged in a circus.

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Post #: 60

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