RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about retesting for new disabilities.

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RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 9:52:41 AM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLilSquaw
I hope your post wasn't suggesting that I didn't think that people with disabilities shouldn't receive help or that they belonged in a circus.

Nope. Sorry that wasn't clear.

I was agreeing with you. Insofar as I am concerned, testing is a good thing. If the results of the testing are positive then some sort of treatment/mitigation is a good thing.

If, on the whole, someone believes that the testing process is corrupt then that's a different problem.

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Post #: 61

RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 10:09:39 AM

Notsweet

Posts: 873
Joined: 6/11/2006
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who said it was corrupt?

(in reply to JeffBC)

Post #: 62

RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 11:01:41 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

Yeah, I understand where servant is coming from as well, and admit to having some frustrations with TFB asking for help and then never following through.

But it is clear to me she has no support from her parents or her 'daddy' (I think daddy needs as much help as she does), has never had support, and quite obviously has numerous developmental issues that interfere with her ability to mature along normal adult lines.

So although servant is advocating she pull herself up by her bootstraps and get a job, that's not going to happen. Should social services be helping her get to a place where she can run a house, shop for groceries, hold down some sort of job? Of course they should.

But let's acknowledge, please, that it is possible for some to fall through the cracks in a major way. She's one of them.

In my never humble opinion, I see her as a victim valiantly striving to improve her situation. She's trying, she's somewhat motivated, but she has no follow-through. This is not unusual in someone with developmental issues.

As for those mentally handicapped holding down jobs, sure it happens, with tons of love and support.

Let me repeat this in case it's not clear: This forum is her support group, she gets none from home.

The above is primarily why I stay off of these threads. A policy that I will be returning to shortly.

The parents I have no excuse for. If they gave a damn about follow through with her, we wouldn't be having this nice bit of deja vu. I may be in the minority with servant and freedom, but it's not going to surprise Me a bit if we are right back with these same types of threads two years from now with some of the older posters remembering exactly what happened the last go round.

The boyfriend I've got no use for. Seven years in this woman's life and I've never seen one sign that he *wants* her to improve. Of course he doesn't! He' got somebody to fuck and gets a comfy situation where rent isn't all that big of a deal if it is 'traded' in helping out (which is what any member of a family should be doing anyway) around the property. Who lets some slob move in with them, sit at their dinner table every night, and doesn't expect them to be a contributing member of the household?

There had to have been some kind of diagnosis for a disability in order for these SSI payments to start being made. I don't honestly believe that references in mental health have been made over the years. The problem is that when it gets tough, all FOUR of these people stop caring about following through. Therapy is too difficult, so she stops going.

If TFTB would be nearly as dedicated to bugging the real world people who should be helping her as she is to creating threads, the situation wouldn't be like this. Of course she come here for support! She comes here for sympathy and gets quite a bit of it. The minute that anybody says anything that isn't kissing her tail, they are bullying her.

Sorry, folks. It can't be both ways. Either this person is adult enough to be on a BDSM site or she has the mentality of a child and needs to be treated as such as a person who doesn't have the ability to consent.

_____________________________

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Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

Post #: 63

RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 11:16:01 AM

Notsweet

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I'm thinking that heredity and environment are heavily in play here, and that's why the parents aren't all that supportive. As for "daddy," LadyPact hit that nail on the head and right through the board.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 64

RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 12:13:12 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
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Ok, SSI said they can not give me any information about advocates or programs they may have. They also told me I had to ask my dr for a referal to a specialist, so I have called her. I have a niggling doubt in the back of my mind she will refuse the request, but i will ask her.

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Post #: 65

RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 12:18:56 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
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It never occured to him nor my parents, that I could ask to be restested or that there was any programs I could be in that I was missing out on.

He tries to help me in other things, and I ask him and beg him to help me develope good habits and skills an stuff, be the leader please, but he's just as fucked up in the head emotionally as I am, maybe a tiny bit more because unlike me he's extremely depressed and has been his whole life to the point of trying to commit suicide severa times, and he's on meds yes, but he has no coping skills, very little life skills, is barely functioning himself, and the meds help a bit, but more often than not, he feels horrible

. the blind can't lead the blind, or was it the blind can't lead the deaf..

quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1

Which is why, even if her parents can't/won't help, where is her BF??
Why can't he give her the moral support and help her push??

It

< Message edited by Toppingfrmbottom -- 3/1/2013 12:30:35 PM >

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Post #: 66

RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 12:24:13 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

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Joined: 6/7/2009
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My dad fears that if I get retested they will say there is nothing wrong with this woman, she is not disabled and we are going to cut your SSI off. Just because they do not want to support one more person if they can weasle out of giving someone who deserves it SSI.

My mom told me to be careful with this idea of being retested because they could declare you mentally incompitent if they want and throw you into an institution just because it suits them and feels like it.

So there right there are two people who believe things are corupt.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Notsweet

who said it was corrupt?
.

< Message edited by Toppingfrmbottom -- 3/1/2013 12:31:42 PM >

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Post #: 67

RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 12:28:42 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

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Joined: 6/7/2009
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I do not stop going once therapy has been or gets hard. It gets hard we talk about things that I'd rather not, but I still keep going.

In fact we're personally talking about some pretty hard shit right now, and have been for 6/7 months, stuff I'd rather not talk about, and I am still going, faithfully. The only time I skip going is if we do not have the money to pay for our sessions.

Our/ my last therapist I went to her for two years, we only stopped because she was dealing with a divorce and stopped seeing clients. The last one before her I saw for an extremely long time too, but she was an intern and stopped seeing clients to get lisenced. and I couldnt then afford her fee's.

As you may or may not know interns charge a ton less than fully done therapists.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

The problem is that when it gets tough, all FOUR of these people stop caring about following through. Therapy is too difficult, so she stops going.

< Message edited by Toppingfrmbottom -- 3/1/2013 12:34:03 PM >

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One world under lube with vibrators and dildo's for all! quote from the sex toy 101 book

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Post #: 68

RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 12:45:28 PM

Phoenixpower

Posts: 8098
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

My dad fears that if I get retested they will say there is nothing wrong with this woman, she is not disabled and we are going to cut your SSI off. Just because they do not want to support one more person if they can weasle out of giving someone who deserves it SSI.

My mom told me to be careful with this idea of being retested because they could declare you mentally incompitent if they want and throw you into an institution just because it suits them and feels like it.

Now again, can't talk about the US but in the UK the latter would be less likely cause you would cost the state way more if they would put you into an institution than to pay you your SSI....

That's why I did what I could to give that family one week break from caring for their daughter cause when the state doesn't care for the caregivers, then there is a bigger risk that they are not able anymore to look after their own kid and then its getting way more expensive for the state, if they would have to place their daughter into a care home...

On another note, I can understand the concerns of your dad....cause in the UK sometimes the level changed, in regards to when is a person disabled enough to get financial benefits....and with the amount of debts the councils have, many don't get a cent more than the absolute basics unless they have very high care needs indeed...

At my work as a support worker (which I did next to uni) I had once a client wo was already taught as a kid at home that he does not want to work...cause after all, he has got a mental disability and so he does not have to work....in his case he could have done some sorts of work but the influence in that respect which he had from a young age onwards was seriously massiv....and therefore disabled him from living more independently...

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(in reply to Toppingfrmbottom)

Post #: 69

RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 12:45:34 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

I do not stop going once therapy has been or gets hard. It gets hard we talk about things that I'd rather not, but I still keep going.

In fact we're personally talking about some pretty hard shit right now, and have been for 6/7 months, stuff I'd rather not talk about, and I am still going, faithfully. The only time I skip going is if we do not have the money to pay for our sessions.

Our/ my last therapist I went to her for two years, we only stopped because she was dealing with a divorce and stopped seeing clients. The last one before her I saw for an extremely long time too, but she was an intern and stopped seeing clients to get lisenced. and I couldnt then afford her fee's.

As you may or may not know interns charge a ton less than fully done therapists.

OK, so a bunch of lay people knew more about the system than those working in the system.

Dude, I'm the LAST person on this board to baby you. As a PARENT, I'd have never let this situation get this far. Your mother would have to be living in a very dark fog not to be able to see what the problems are with you and with the guy that your parents ALLOW to live with you.

The thing about this, Chris, is that when you come here, you get the attention that you want, with nobody having the authority over you to make you do the things that you don't want to do. That's just fine with you. You get to say 'no, I don't wanna' and that's all there is. When you were in the mental facility a couple of years back, there should have been some kind of assessment (not a complete one) to determine what in the heck is going on around here.

I've got a feeling that you should be darn glad that I or some of the other responsible parents on this boards aren't your one of your parents. Lots of us have raised our kids and we wouldn't allow you to pull the stuff that you like to pull.

I'm out. I'll see you when a couple of years have passed.

< Message edited by LadyPact -- 3/1/2013 12:46:34 PM >

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Toppingfrmbottom)

Post #: 70

RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 12:50:21 PM

VideoAdminChi

Posts: 3086
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FR,

Locked for review.

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Post #: 71

RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 1:20:19 PM

VideoAdminChi

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Unlocked

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Post #: 72

RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 1:28:42 PM

calamitysandra

Posts: 1682
Joined: 3/17/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

...
I've got a feeling that you should be darn glad that I or some of the other responsible parents on this boards aren't your one of your parents. Lots of us have raised our kids and we wouldn't allow you to pull the stuff that you like to pull.
...

Do you really believe that she should be glad about that? Responsible parents are among the things she lacks the most and seems to have lacked all of her life.
It would have been a blessing for her to have people in her life going to the bat for her. Sadly, she does not have that, and she is paying the price for it.
Her parents dropped the ball in a major way.

Do you really believe she is glad to have the life she has? All those threads on improving herself (and yes, on occasion I get fed up too, but then I just shut up for a while) quite clearly show that she is absolutely not happy with her live, even if she lacks the tools to follow trough and keep up on her improvements.

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Post #: 73

RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 1:48:16 PM

JstAnotherSub

Posts: 6174
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quote:

(not that it should be any excuse really)

I guess you don't feel having a broken leg should be an excuse for not attempting a high jump either huh?

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yep

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Post #: 74

RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 2:08:13 PM

TheLilSquaw

Posts: 2340
Joined: 10/24/2012
From: Middle River, MD
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

...
I've got a feeling that you should be darn glad that I or some of the other responsible parents on this boards aren't your one of your parents. Lots of us have raised our kids and we wouldn't allow you to pull the stuff that you like to pull.
...

quote:

ORIGINAL:calamitysandra

Do you really believe that she should be glad about that? Responsible parents are among the things she lacks the most and seems to have lacked all of her life.
It would have been a blessing for her to have people in her life going to the bat for her. Sadly, she does not have that, and she is paying the price for it.
Her parents dropped the ball in a major way.

In a sense I do think that TFB likes that her parents have taken the hands off approach and allow her to do what ever she wants.

Perfect example, I think she loves that they allow her *coughs* daddy to live in THEIR home. PERIOD. Yet, alone basically rent free.

I also don't think she is prepared to have someone else controlling her money as a payee even if she can't manage it on her own.

< Message edited by TheLilSquaw -- 3/1/2013 2:10:01 PM >

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Post #: 75

RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 2:22:21 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: calamitysandra

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

...
I've got a feeling that you should be darn glad that I or some of the other responsible parents on this boards aren't your one of your parents. Lots of us have raised our kids and we wouldn't allow you to pull the stuff that you like to pull.
...

Do you really believe that she should be glad about that? Responsible parents are among the things she lacks the most and seems to have lacked all of her life.
It would have been a blessing for her to have people in her life going to the bat for her. Sadly, she does not have that, and she is paying the price for it.
Her parents dropped the ball in a major way.

Do you really believe she is glad to have the life she has? All those threads on improving herself (and yes, on occasion I get fed up too, but then I just shut up for a while) quite clearly show that she is absolutely not happy with her live, even if she lacks the tools to follow trough and keep up on her improvements.

Let Me put it this way......

I see people on this thread lil LilSquaw who have had to go through being a parent of a special needs child. She doesn't just give up. She doesn't just let the situation go when things are 'good enough' or even more when it reaches 'out of control'. That's dedication.

Like the rest of us, when the child starts taking advantage, acting out, or can't control themselves, that's where the parents step in. That's the JOB of a parent.

I admit, I'm a lot harsher than some folks. I'm a tow the line kind of chick. If fast food is a problem, there's no more about how hard it is to cook, etc. You just don't eat any more fast food PERIOD. I can promise you that it can be done. The problem is that TFTB has access and no will power. I doubt people would be telling anybody with an underage diabetic child these eating habits were ok. We'd call that child abuse.

There are a lot of parents on this board that would have been better for her. I'd have to say you are included in that, Sandra. I'd never think you'd have allowed this situation to get to this point. I could name ten parents on this thread alone that would never dream of it.

So, TFTB is disabled and James is too depressed to give a shit, and I suppose the parents, and the health care workers, the SSI case manager, the therapist, and EVERYBODY else in her life just isn't competent.

That's a damn sad state of affairs right there.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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Post #: 76

RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 2:22:43 PM

Notsweet

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No, but she could really use one.

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Post #: 77

RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 2:24:47 PM

Notsweet

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Joined: 6/11/2006
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I'm thinking that her parents aren't any better off in certain departments than TFB is.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 78

RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 2:37:49 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Notsweet

I'm thinking that her parents aren't any better off in certain departments than TFB is.

Have not both parents been full time employees, responsible for household finances, and contributing members of society for all of their adult lives? Did I miss something?

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Notsweet)

Post #: 79

RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about ... - 3/1/2013 2:48:00 PM

TheLilSquaw

Posts: 2340
Joined: 10/24/2012
From: Middle River, MD
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: Notsweet

I'm thinking that her parents aren't any better off in certain departments than TFB is.

Have not both parents been full time employees, responsible for household finances, and contributing members of society for all of their adult lives? Did I miss something?

LP That is the impression I have always had.

I've never gotten the impression that they are disabled, yet alone mentally or emotionally so. I have always been given the impression from TFB that her parents simply take a stand off approach with her and that her father is aggressive and gets angry when she approaches him about certain things regarding her.

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Post #: 80

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