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what would you do? - 3/9/2013 12:43:04 PM   
Asyra


Posts: 618
Joined: 1/5/2010
Status: offline 		You meet this Dom who seems to be intelligent and polite, he talks about first building friendship to build trust, which is the base for a BDSM-relationship. You think - nice, someone whose brain is in their head, not between their legs. So you talk for a few hours and towards the end he doesn't stop talking of how he would torment you, fuck you etc. and then he goes: Let me see you masturbate. switch on the cam. - So that's where your trust crumbles, you say no, and he doesn't say much more than - okay, you don't know me, I understand, fair enough. Later he logs off. Now am I right in deciding to forget this one?
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RE: what would you do? - 3/9/2013 12:46:48 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Asyra

You meet this Dom who seems to be intelligent and polite, he talks about first building friendship to build trust, which is the base for a BDSM-relationship. You think - nice, someone whose brain is in their head, not between their legs. So you talk for a few hours and towards the end he doesn't stop talking of how he would torment you, fuck you etc. and then he goes: Let me see you masturbate. switch on the cam. - So that's where your trust crumbles, you say no, and he doesn't say much more than - okay, you don't know me, I understand, fair enough. Later he logs off. Now am I right in deciding to forget this one?


All of that in one conversation or over the course of many conversations?

If one conversation......I'd forget the troll exists.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Asyra)
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RE: what would you do? - 3/9/2013 12:47:11 PM   
MissBlueangel


Posts: 147
Joined: 6/28/2012
Status: offline 		Well firstly you never met a dom
You talked on line to a HNG
There it is

_____________________________

Its only when you make me suffer that I feel safe and secure.
Pauline Reage
Given the choice between the experience of pain and nothing, I would chose pain
The Wild Palms by William Faulkner

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RE: what would you do? - 3/9/2013 12:48:53 PM   
Asyra


Posts: 618
Joined: 1/5/2010
Status: offline 		Sigh... I think so too... I just can't believe this happened after all he said. I don't get it. Maybe they do have 2 brains after all....

< Message edited by Asyra -- 3/9/2013 12:50:34 PM >

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RE: what would you do? - 3/9/2013 12:50:58 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Asyra

Sigh... I think so too... I just can't believe this happened after all he said. I don't get it. Maybe they do have 2 brains after all....



Seriously?!?!? Are you new to the internet?

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Asyra)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: what would you do? - 3/9/2013 12:53:02 PM   
Asyra


Posts: 618
Joined: 1/5/2010
Status: offline 		No, I was just sure of this one. And I think the fact that I'm under lots of stress atm didn't help in judging.

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RE: what would you do? - 3/9/2013 12:56:34 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Asyra
Sigh... I think so too... I just can't believe this happened after all he said.

Why not?

Let's think this through. How long do you think the average manipulative guy can maintain the charade before getting onto the sex topic? I'd have to guess it's "more than one conversation". I generally don't think I'm even BEGINNING to see the real person until after the 3rd conversation and that's assuming the person is both honest and authentic. If we posit someone trying to manipulate... well... then I'm not at all convinced I could catch someone good at it over the internet. This guy, obviously, wasn't very good LOL


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

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RE: what would you do? - 3/9/2013 1:01:15 PM   
Asyra


Posts: 618
Joined: 1/5/2010
Status: offline 		Good point... thanks, it's comforting. I know I must really seem stupid, but I'm just so deceived and fed up that it happens all the time. I guess I just wanted to hear that I haven't lost my grip on reality since they really are like that...

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RE: what would you do? - 3/9/2013 1:07:57 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Asyra
Good point... thanks, it's comforting. I know I must really seem stupid, but I'm just so deceived and fed up that it happens all the time. I guess I just wanted to hear that I haven't lost my grip on reality since they really are like that...

I don't know which "they" you mean but I sure as hell hope it isn't "male dominants".

Look, BDSM has got a HUGE focus on kinky sex. It's no surprise that guys interested in kinky sex first and foremost flock to it. Hell, it's no surprise that there's lots of women like that in BDSM also. If that's not what you want then you'll need to do some sifting. Be careful about getting jaded though. Nothing will turn me off of a profile faster than long diatribes about how awful doms are.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to Asyra)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: what would you do? - 3/9/2013 1:11:45 PM   
Asyra


Posts: 618
Joined: 1/5/2010
Status: offline 		Don't worry, just a moment of frustration. No, "they" aren't all like that. I have hope.

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: what would you do? - 3/9/2013 1:14:43 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		Forget him, he said one thing and did another. He is a liar and a manipulator. If he wasn't, he'd not have contradicted himself in a first conversation. It's the old game of telling a girl you love her to get into her pants - tell her what you think she wants to get where you want to go. It's like all of the guys on here that morph instantly into what they think you want so they'll get sexual activity.

There's always some disconnect for me when a guy turns out to be something he said he is not, because I give people the benefit of the doubt. I am honest, and for some reason I usually assume others are too, until they show me they are not. He showed you unequivocally that he is just like every other man who wants a quick wank, why change him into something he is not? Take him at his word and move on if it's not what you want.

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RE: what would you do? - 3/9/2013 1:19:03 PM   
Asyra


Posts: 618
Joined: 1/5/2010
Status: offline 		Thanks lizi, I will. Will be more alert the next time, too.

(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: what would you do? - 3/9/2013 1:21:50 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi
He showed you unequivocally that he is just like every other man who wants a quick wank, why change him into something he is not? Take him at his word and move on if it's not what you want.

*nods* I like this line of reasoning. Without anyone getting judgmental about it, this guy demonstrated that his elapsed time from "hi" to "i want to fuck you" is a few hours. By most people's definitions we would call that "looking for easy, casual sex". If that's not you, then look elsewhere.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: what would you do? - 3/9/2013 1:23:50 PM   
Asyra


Posts: 618
Joined: 1/5/2010
Status: offline 		Yes :) thanks for bearing with me!

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: what would you do? - 3/9/2013 1:27:33 PM   
ARIES83


Posts: 3648
Status: offline 		Your not going to know the person over the
internet. If you didn't know that before you should
start knowing that now.

You might be able to weed out some of the more
obvious bad eggs, but how well do you really know
anyone, really...

I think what you would like is a method to separate
the good from the bad, but in reality, there isn't
really that black and white devision, sure there are
good and bad but theres also good And bad,
it all comes down to what you are willing to accept
and understanding that it works in reverse aswell.

In my opinion, it's as much a matter of being smart
about your choices as it is about dumb luck.

So I guess all I can offer is, you can't judge a book
by it's cover, but if the cover says:
"I'm going to torture & furk your pig/slut meat."
And your looking for love poetry, the cover may
provide some clues to help you in your search.

Best of luck!

_____________________________

530 DAYS

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RE: what would you do? - 3/9/2013 2:27:35 PM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Asyra

You meet this Dom who seems to be intelligent and polite, he talks about first building friendship to build trust, which is the base for a BDSM-relationship. You think - nice, someone whose brain is in their head, not between their legs. So you talk for a few hours and towards the end he doesn't stop talking of how he would torment you, fuck you etc. and then he goes: Let me see you masturbate. switch on the cam. - So that's where your trust crumbles, you say no, and he doesn't say much more than - okay, you don't know me, I understand, fair enough. Later he logs off. Now am I right in deciding to forget this one?


I think I would say 'thank goodness you showed your true intentions before I wasted any time on you! You almost had me fooled into thinking you wanted more than cyber sex.'

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: what would you do? - 3/9/2013 4:16:00 PM   
HisPet21


Posts: 395
Status: offline 		Yeah, he's just your typical wanker. He may be a little smarter than many of the others--after all, he knew enough to tell you "friendship first, sex later"--but in the end, he couldn't keep it in his pants for more than a few hours. So, he is both manipulative and lacks self control. Drop him, and never look back.

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: what would you do? - 3/9/2013 4:40:34 PM   
UnholyBear


Posts: 661
Joined: 10/19/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Asyra

Sigh... I think so too... I just can't believe this happened after all he said. I don't get it. Maybe they do have 2 brains after all....



The reality is anyone is able to say anything they want while sitting behind a keyboard. They can portray themselves to be a paragon of virtue one until they are called on their bullshit and lies. Sad fact is many of the male species derive a twisted pleasure of talking a damn good speech simply to get their dick wet.

_____________________________

Shameless flirt and just as unholy as ever!

Gauge's cuddlemuffin

CD's manwhore


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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: what would you do? - 3/9/2013 4:48:58 PM   
Asyra


Posts: 618
Joined: 1/5/2010
Status: offline 		Thanks guys! Got that reality check :)

(in reply to UnholyBear)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: what would you do? - 3/9/2013 5:12:36 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Asyra

You meet this Dom who seems to be intelligent and polite, he talks about first building friendship to build trust, which is the base for a BDSM-relationship. You think - nice, someone whose brain is in their head, not between their legs. So you talk for a few hours and towards the end he doesn't stop talking of how he would torment you, fuck you etc. and then he goes: Let me see you masturbate. switch on the cam. - So that's where your trust crumbles, you say no, and he doesn't say much more than - okay, you don't know me, I understand, fair enough. Later he logs off. Now am I right in deciding to forget this one?


Yup.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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Profile   Post #: 20
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