Am I justified for being pissed off about this?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Am I justified for being pissed off about this?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Am I justified for being pissed off about this?

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Am I justified for being pissed off about this? - 3/13/2013 3:34:05 PM

stebbinsd

Posts: 23
Joined: 5/22/2012
Status: offline

I just read a profile that says this:

quote:

I'm not the easiest sub to lay down and roll over. I have walls. And if you don't approach me the correct way you won't be spoken to.

The problem is that... she doesn't actually give us any details. She doesn't tell us anything about herself, so she expects us to just read her mind and just magically know what makes her tick, and to just magically know how to go about getting through these alleged "walls."

Oh no, why should I have to lift a finger?! Shouldn't my soulmate come to me, on a silver fucking platter?

The reason I'm making a thread and bitching about this is because... this isn't just one profile. I don't limit my search results very restrictively, so I see just about every female slave that has been online recently, save for those who are older than me, and this site is littered with profiles that give cryptic shit like this... or better still, aren't even filled-out at all.

Am I overreacting, or am I justified in being frustrated about this?

< Message edited by stebbinsd -- 3/13/2013 3:36:12 PM >

Post #: 1

RE: Am I justified for being pissed off about this? - 3/13/2013 3:36:03 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Why would you be pissed off regarding somebody's profile on the internet unless they were violating ToS or promoting illegal activities in some way? This person (or any of the others) are *not* your submissive so they can do and say what they please.

No. You're not justified.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to stebbinsd)

Post #: 2

RE: Am I justified for being pissed off about this? - 3/13/2013 3:39:33 PM

hlen5

Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline

You're overreacting.

Edited For Clarity - to the OP.

< Message edited by hlen5 -- 3/13/2013 3:40:37 PM >

_____________________________

My fave Thread: http://www.collarchat.com/m_2626198/mpage_1/tm.htm

One time "Phallus Expert Extraordinaire"

(in reply to stebbinsd)

Post #: 3

RE: Am I justified for being pissed off about this? - 3/13/2013 3:40:44 PM

searching4mysir

Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline

I think you *might* be overreacting a little.

Do these subs have any vanilla interests on their profiles?

I know, for me, my profile actually had little kink on it (my hard limits and curious about were pretty fleshed out but not my likes/loves) when I was looking but had PLENTY of information in there about who I was as a person (when I was actually searching). I spoke of my love of travel and upcoming trips/activities I had planned. I made a point of saying that I loved old movies. One of the pictures I had was me in front of Cinderella's Castle at Disney World. There was more than enough there for someone to potentially find a common vanilla interest and to approach me as an equal/friend. I had those walls as well, and anyone that attempted to institute a dynamic right off the bat was laughed at.

< Message edited by searching4mysir -- 3/13/2013 3:41:50 PM >

_____________________________

No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM

(in reply to stebbinsd)

Post #: 4

RE: Am I justified for being pissed off about this? - 3/13/2013 3:45:13 PM

SacredDepravity

Posts: 270
Joined: 8/6/2012
Status: offline

I could be wrong, but I really think this just means she doesn't want a bunch of "On your knees, bitch" crap in her inbox. I don't think it is really much more complicated than that. Just a guess.

SD

(in reply to searching4mysir)

Post #: 5

RE: Am I justified for being pissed off about this? - 3/13/2013 3:45:35 PM

freedomdwarf1

Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline

OP: This is very common on just about every site where people fill in their own profiles.

It's normal. Get over it. Move on.
Nothing worth getting your knickers in a twist about.

(in reply to stebbinsd)

Post #: 6

RE: Am I justified for being pissed off about this? - 3/13/2013 3:53:44 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Why would you be pissed off regarding somebody's profile on the internet unless they were violating ToS or promoting illegal activities in some way?

I agree with everyone else. Why bother with the energy needed to be upset about someone's profile on the internet?

If you don't like it, block the profile and move on.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 7

RE: Am I justified for being pissed off about this? - 3/13/2013 3:55:07 PM

cheekytrouble

Posts: 12
Joined: 10/4/2007
Status: offline

Ah you'll probably find that she's just had enough of the daily drivel that arrives in the form of messages. Whilst you do get the sensible ones that can string more than three words together and approach you as a human being, there is an incredible amount that say things like, I am your new Master. Or tell you how you will behave, what you will do, all before they even think of asking how you are. Most don't even read your profile before they tell you how as a female you are inferior, and if you don't send them a face pic straight away, you're fake. So I can fully understand the approach bit, as a lot don't have any common sense when it comes to making contact with someone on line.

(in reply to searching4mysir)

Post #: 8

RE: Am I justified for being pissed off about this? - 3/13/2013 3:59:31 PM

stebbinsd

Posts: 23
Joined: 5/22/2012
Status: offline

Yeah, of course they're not my submissive.

But then again, if you're not going to actually put forth any effort in finding a soulmate, why are you even here?

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 9

RE: Am I justified for being pissed off about this? - 3/13/2013 4:01:16 PM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

What exactly is your question?

Is it the one in the tittle: "Am I justified for being pissed off about this?"
Or is it the one in your post: "Am I overreacting, or am I justified in being frustrated about this?"

As far as your tittle question goes, I'd say, no you're not justified being pissed over this. In fact, if you ARE pissed over this, I'd suggest you have a long hard look at your life to figure out why you have such profound anger issues.

If it's the one in your post, I'd say, you're overreacting, but I can understand you being frustrated about this. However, I will suggest that being frustrated about something this small, and insignificant, isn't a good, productive use of your time. Especially seeing that you're feeling frustrated about something you can't change.

Furthermore, I would also like to offer you this different perspective to look at this issue:

You seem to think that it's common sense that if a person wants to be contacted a certain way, they need to be specific about what they want.
I therefore submit that any woman who doesn't think it's common sense to be specific about how she wants to be contacted is not a good match for you. This is because you both obviously have very different patterns, and priorities when it comes to communication, and thus would have a hard time communicating well in a relationship with each other.

So when you see a profile of a girl who isn't specific about how to contact her, don't get frustrated. Instead think: "good thing her profile made it clear so quickly that we're not a good match. Now I can move on to another girl who may very well be a good match for me, instead of wasting my time with this girl whom I would have eventually found out doesn't communicate in a manner compatible with my own style."

< Message edited by UllrsIshtar -- 3/13/2013 4:06:10 PM >

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to stebbinsd)

Post #: 10

RE: Am I justified for being pissed off about this? - 3/13/2013 4:07:45 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

You are over-reacting. It is irrelevant whether or not you are justified in being frustrated.

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to stebbinsd)

Post #: 11

RE: Am I justified for being pissed off about this? - 3/13/2013 4:11:22 PM

searching4mysir

Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stebbinsd

Yeah, of course they're not my submissive.

But then again, if you're not going to actually put forth any effort in finding a soulmate, why are you even here?

Who says everyone here is interested in a soulmate? Many are just looking to cheat on their spouse or have cybersex. Then there are others who are owned and only looking for friends or to use the forums.

_____________________________

No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM

(in reply to stebbinsd)

Post #: 12

RE: Am I justified for being pissed off about this? - 3/13/2013 4:12:24 PM

HarryVanWinkle

Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stebbinsd

I just read a profile that says this:

quote:

I'm not the easiest sub to lay down and roll over. I have walls. And if you don't approach me the correct way you won't be spoken to.

The problem is that... she doesn't actually give us any details. She doesn't tell us anything about herself, so she expects us to just read her mind and just magically know what makes her tick, and to just magically know how to go about getting through these alleged "walls."

Oh no, why should I have to lift a finger?! Shouldn't my soulmate come to me, on a silver fucking platter?

The reason I'm making a thread and bitching about this is because... this isn't just one profile. I don't limit my search results very restrictively, so I see just about every female slave that has been online recently, save for those who are older than me, and this site is littered with profiles that give cryptic shit like this... or better still, aren't even filled-out at all.

Am I overreacting, or am I justified in being frustrated about this?

You are over reacting. It costs you how much time looking at a profile to realize that it doesn't inspire you to contact its creator? I look at almost ALL new, women's profiles. Very rarely do I have to read the whole thing to see that I'm not very interested. But, make me angry? There are quite a few, particularly those of my own favorite bete noirs, 21 year old "findommes" which inspire my contempt, but anger? Jeeze, I'd spend half my life in a state of rage. There is NOTHING on this site that rates anger, as far as I can see.

(in reply to stebbinsd)

Post #: 13

RE: Am I justified for being pissed off about this? - 3/13/2013 4:18:31 PM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

OP, why in the world would something like what people write in their profiles bother you? It's a good thing you aren't female because the amount of shit people feel entitled to write you is legendary. Then you wouldn't even have to go looking for reasons to be butthurt, they would come right to your inbox.

Who cares what some submissive woman wrote? THe fact that you can't figure out what she wants really seems to twist your panties but why does it matter? If you like her just write her and give it a shot. It's like because you don't have the absolute right way to get her attention, (because she didn't tell you what makes her tick) you're throwing a fit. It's just like real life then when you meet someone without knowing much about them and not having a profile to go by, you say hello and see if there is common ground. Big freaking deal.

(in reply to stebbinsd)

Post #: 14

RE: Am I justified for being pissed off about this? - 3/13/2013 4:18:47 PM

WithBellsOn

Posts: 33
Joined: 3/1/2013
Status: offline

If you want some insight into why all of these women are writing stuff like that in their profiles, just make a female profile yourself. See what kind of messages you get.

(in reply to searching4mysir)

Post #: 15

RE: Am I justified for being pissed off about this? - 3/13/2013 4:26:59 PM

HarryVanWinkle

Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stebbinsd

Yeah, of course they're not my submissive.

But then again, if you're not going to actually put forth any effort in finding a soulmate, why are you even here?

I'm not in the "finding a soulmate" business. My reasons for being here are: Passing some time doing something less mind numbing than watching television, reading some amusing/thought provoking points of view of other people of my "tribe", seeing occasional bits of wisdom, and passing a few of my own as well, occasionally engaging in the mental masturbation of snarking and flaming, and, believe it or not, just possibly making some friends.

You know, if that damned ship of mine ever does come in, when I set out in the RV, there are people in just about every part of this country whom I'd like to meet, who would probably want to meet me too.

Before a person can become a soulmate, she has to become a friend. The number friends one can have is unlimited; but having more than a very few soulmates makes for a logistical nightmare. If one dedicates himself to the soul purpose of "finding a soulmate" one is likely to fail AND to miss out on a LOT of friends. So, try finding friends and let the soulmates come as they may.

(in reply to stebbinsd)

Post #: 16

RE: Am I justified for being pissed off about this? - 3/13/2013 4:52:29 PM

HarryVanWinkle

Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline

I did this once a long, long time ago. (She) was MistressCruelNEvil, or something like that. It was a killer profile, one that would definitely appeal to the fantasies of a masoguy like me, even without a picture. (She) gave a very detailed description of just what kind of man (she) was looking for and very explicit and detailed directions as to the introductory letter they were to write. In the first 24 hours, (she) got a couple of hundred responses. Of them, precisely two matched what (she) said she was looking for and followed the instructions. I sent those two polite notes thanking them but turning them down, then deleted that profile because I felt guilty as hell about wasting the time and effort that those two put to responding to a fraud.

Since then, the only times I write to women on CM are: to answer their emails to me (It's rare, but it happens), to say something in response to something they've posted that I think would be better said privately, when I recognize them as people I've actually met in the r/t BDSM community, to offer some advice concerning their profiles (also very rare) and when they seem like people I'd like to meet and actually live close enough that meeting them very soon is doable. I've made several playmates that way.

Lately, I've given brief thought of reviving MistressCruelNEvil, with a paypal account, as a 21 year old "findomme", with pictures stolen from some other site that doesn't use English. I could sure as hell use the money and I'd bet I could do it much better than most on the other side, but I just can't seem to talk myself into deliberately committing fraud.

quote:

ORIGINAL: WithBellsOn

If you want some insight into why all of these women are writing stuff like that in their profiles, just make a female profile yourself. See what kind of messages you get.

< Message edited by HarryVanWinkle -- 3/13/2013 4:56:04 PM >

(in reply to WithBellsOn)

Post #: 17

RE: Am I justified for being pissed off about this? - 3/13/2013 4:57:36 PM

Baroana

Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stebbinsd

I just read a profile that says this:

quote:

I'm not the easiest sub to lay down and roll over. I have walls. And if you don't approach me the correct way you won't be spoken to.

The problem is that... she doesn't actually give us any details. She doesn't tell us anything about herself, so she expects us to just read her mind and just magically know what makes her tick, and to just magically know how to go about getting through these alleged "walls."

Oh no, why should I have to lift a finger?! Shouldn't my soulmate come to me, on a silver fucking platter?

The reason I'm making a thread and bitching about this is because... this isn't just one profile. I don't limit my search results very restrictively, so I see just about every female slave that has been online recently, save for those who are older than me, and this site is littered with profiles that give cryptic shit like this... or better still, aren't even filled-out at all.

Am I overreacting, or am I justified in being frustrated about this?

You're 23 and you filter out everyone older than you? Good luck with that.

(in reply to stebbinsd)

Post #: 18

RE: Am I justified for being pissed off about this? - 3/13/2013 5:11:23 PM

FrostedFlake

Posts: 3084
Joined: 3/4/2009
From: Centralia, Washington
Status: offline

It's one thing to want to date a doormat. It's another to get bent out of shape because someone you don't know isn't a doormat. It's a third thing to get bent out of shape because LOTS of people aren't doormats. Then there's the cute one about how folks shouldn't expect their soul mate walk right up and say,"Hi."

Did I miss anything? Something about not understanding that walls are often intended to keep certain kinds of people out?

Perhaps it is self reflection time.

_____________________________

Frosted Flake
simul justus et peccator
Einen Liebhaber, und halten Sie die Schraube

"... evil (and hilarious) !!" Hlen5

(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)

Post #: 19

RE: Am I justified for being pissed off about this? - 3/13/2013 5:13:27 PM

FrostedFlake

Posts: 3084
Joined: 3/4/2009
From: Centralia, Washington
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle

I did this once a long, long time ago. (She) was MistressCruelNEvil, or something like that. It was a killer profile, one that would definitely appeal to the fantasies of a masoguy like me, even without a picture. (She) gave a very detailed description of just what kind of man (she) was looking for and very explicit and detailed directions as to the introductory letter they were to write. In the first 24 hours, (she) got a couple of hundred responses. Of them, precisely two matched what (she) said she was looking for and followed the instructions. I sent those two polite notes thanking them but turning them down, then deleted that profile because I felt guilty as hell about wasting the time and effort that those two put to responding to a fraud.

Since then, the only times I write to women on CM are: to answer their emails to me (It's rare, but it happens), to say something in response to something they've posted that I think would be better said privately, when I recognize them as people I've actually met in the r/t BDSM community, to offer some advice concerning their profiles (also very rare) and when they seem like people I'd like to meet and actually live close enough that meeting them very soon is doable. I've made several playmates that way.

Lately, I've given brief thought of reviving MistressCruelNEvil, with a paypal account, as a 21 year old "findomme", with pictures stolen from some other site that doesn't use English. I could sure as hell use the money and I'd bet I could do it much better than most on the other side, but I just can't seem to talk myself into deliberately committing fraud.

quote:

ORIGINAL: WithBellsOn

If you want some insight into why all of these women are writing stuff like that in their profiles, just make a female profile yourself. See what kind of messages you get.

Data says : 1%.

A gal could get jaded.

< Message edited by FrostedFlake -- 3/13/2013 5:14:04 PM >

_____________________________

Frosted Flake
simul justus et peccator
Einen Liebhaber, und halten Sie die Schraube

"... evil (and hilarious) !!" Hlen5

(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Am I justified for being pissed off about this?

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.109