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RE: How do i get past being so Jaded? - 3/16/2013 6:51:12 PM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline
quote:

THE issue of how to balance the Online "trust" to the RL meeting that sometimes takes weeks or a month or so.


So don't trust and don't wait so long for a meeting. Words are nice, but they are cheap. By trusting (and god forbid submitting in any way, shape or form) to them before meeting, you are placing unrealistic expectations on that meet.

A first meet shouldn't be about more than a cup of coffee and to see if there is any real interest to spend more time in each other's company. That's it.

_____________________________

No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM


(in reply to HisSexyBrat)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: How do i get past being so Jaded? - 3/16/2013 6:52:45 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Why don't you ask your husband to talk to these people you are interacting with? I mean, if it's all poly, why are you doing this alone???
I would think my husband would want to be the one choosing a brother and going through all the picking and THEN running it by you to see if you are compatible as well.

But I don't do poly so what the hell do I know.


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Nothing has changed
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RE: How do i get past being so Jaded? - 3/16/2013 7:02:03 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HisSexyBrat
Hi Ladies... Sorry this was meant for DOM Males really.

Just as an fyi from a man, I don't offer advice to women who can't get along with other women. So when I read this thing I quoted, I decided not to post on the thread. But then, when you got into it with the "girls", I decided I might as well let you know that I, and, I expect, a lot of other guys, don't think your behavior is worth investing in.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to HisSexyBrat)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: How do i get past being so Jaded? - 3/16/2013 7:03:29 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		You posted in Ask A Master. I happen to be one. Feel free to give Me shit because I don't have a swinging Richard between My legs.

You want a person who will be a secondary relationship when your primary relationship is with your husband. That means you are not at the top of the chain when Dominant males are seeking. You want to be the "only" when you have another. You might be able to find it, but I don't happen to think that is terribly fair to the other person. If you can have others, obviously, he should be allowed that, too. Especially if he is the one in control of himself and his relationships.

You asked a question. How does one avoid being jaded by the net? The answer to that is quite simple. Don't rely on the net for what you want. Anybody that approaches Me gets the same answer that I tell everybody. "I am willing to meet you at the local munch." That's it. I don't screw with anything else. I don't make 'travel arrangements' to see if we hit it off. Have I invited people here? Sure. That gives them a real idea of how things work in this household.

If you have succeeded before in making your situation work, I would highly suggest doing things the same way. You can't argue with success, right?


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: How do i get past being so Jaded? - 3/16/2013 7:12:22 PM   
HisSexyBrat


Posts: 16
Joined: 1/31/2011
Status: offline 		WOW... the haters here are crazy. i basically was here asking if anyone else was going through issues of finding it harder and harder to trust Others that could be their potential DOM or sub because of the Haters and the Lies that are told here. That's all. Apparently me wording some of my issues was too much for most. It's merely a question of obviously trust on line and how much does ONE/one trust when it comes to trying to meet what and who We are seeking.

Happy Hating!


(in reply to JstAnotherSub)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: How do i get past being so Jaded? - 3/16/2013 7:17:06 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		Could you use a larger font please? Maybe then I'll be able to see why you're having a problem attracting an emotionally stable man.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to HisSexyBrat)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: How do i get past being so Jaded? - 3/16/2013 7:20:27 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HisSexyBrat
LMAO... because i have partially done the later to find out that the DOM who said HE got and loved the Poly Triad and wanted me as His sub and even sent a bracelet to me for Valentines day and said He was this almighty man and M and i flew to meet Him only to find that He was flat busted broke and His life was out of control and doing a back ground check on Him found He was a felon many times over... YET you girls say I'm not ready for a relationship!? This is humorous to say the least. Seriously!


Not humorous at all. Because if you're investing too much in someone you've never met and keep making the same choices over and over...it means that you need to step back and examine yourself.

But, here's the thing: You asked for advice, you've gotten advice...then have decided that everyone is wrong and you're the one who is right. So, why bother posting anymore? Just go off and keep doing what you're doing...because it's apparently working so well for you.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: How do i get past being so Jaded? - 3/16/2013 7:20:31 PM   
autumnember


Posts: 185
Joined: 8/30/2012
Status: offline 		grow up!

Your question is how do i get past x behaviour.... the answer is to not get so vested before you meet them.

(in reply to HisSexyBrat)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: How do i get past being so Jaded? - 3/16/2013 7:20:39 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		You too op. Enjoy your hating.

I'm sure it will all turn out just swell for you.


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Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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RE: How do i get past being so Jaded? - 3/16/2013 7:22:20 PM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		And the beauty part is, this post will remain in infamy. Infamy I tell you.

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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: How do i get past being so Jaded? - 3/16/2013 7:23:25 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		The guys just saw that font and said 'whoa, damn' in stereo about that size. I guess that makes the three of us haters because I found that pretty darn funny.



ETA - Ever notice typos happen more frequently when laughing your ass off?



< Message edited by LadyPact -- 3/16/2013 7:24:10 PM >

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: How do i get past being so Jaded? - 3/16/2013 7:28:45 PM   
Notsweet


Posts: 873
Joined: 6/11/2006
Status: offline 		I actually came here hoping for some insight. What I'm leaving with is the creepy feeling that the OP is about to get some poor bastard in her clutches and prove what a twue sub is.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: How do i get past being so Jaded? - 3/16/2013 7:28:48 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		Well OP, you got some good answers. You wanted to know when to trust and how to meet men who better fit what you were looking for. You were told to go to real life events, take some time off after a disappointment, get therapy, and to wait a bit longer before trusting. What was wrong with those answers exactly? I can see it's a much better solution to throw a hissy fit than to reflect on what you were offered....good choice! I gotta say, I have an inkling of why you're getting disappointed...

(in reply to HisSexyBrat)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: How do i get past being so Jaded? - 3/16/2013 7:31:08 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HisSexyBrat

Hi Ladies... Sorry this was meant for DOM Males really.



You really don't understand how forums work, do you?

quote:



Just looking to find that someONE to add to Your life! The one/ONE that gets YOU and loves the idea of who Y/you are and wants to make Y/you THAT better sub/Dom.

:) Justa thought!!



Honey, you aren't looking for "the one." You are looking for the "other one." How many men do you really believe are happy to share their girl on a daily basis with someone? And on top of that, you have a primary relationship with your husband. As LP said, this guy would be coming in as a secondary, so no, he can't be "Alpha." Your husband is the "Alpha." This guy is going to be the "Beta," no matter how much you suggest things will be equal. Really? As soon as their is a disagreement, whose opinion is going to prevail? Your husband's of course. I don't know a whole lot of people willing to settle for sloppy seconds with you, especially given your piss poor attitude.

It is possible there are some out there, however, it's like looking for a needle in a haystack. Sorry, cupcake, but with your attitude, you are looking for a very small needle in a very large haystack, being that this guy would need to tolerate your crap.


(in reply to HisSexyBrat)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: How do i get past being so Jaded? - 3/16/2013 7:34:50 PM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HisSexyBrat
i basically was here asking if anyone else was going through issues of finding it harder and harder to trust Others that could be their potential DOM or sub because of the Haters and the Lies that are told here. That's all. Apparently me wording some of my issues was too much for most. It's merely a question of obviously trust on line and how much does ONE/one trust when it comes to trying to meet what and who We are seeking.


For one thing, most people online don't trust anyone else online until they have met.
Doing online for most people is nothing more than a fantasy and a facade.
If you can't see past that then you are extremely naive to say the least.

As for fakes, liars, cheats etc.... most of us just leave them behind and think no more of it.
If you want to invest time and effort before meeting someone then feel jaded about it - more fool you!
And to harbour those jaded feelings and compound them with others to feel even worse, then you truly aren't emotionally ready to face the world of online/cyber yet.

Several posters have said this already but I'll echo it again - don't put ANY trust into anyone online until you have met them and judged them in person!!

It's ain't rocket science!!

And just because you didn't like the answers doesn't make us haters either.

(in reply to HisSexyBrat)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: How do i get past being so Jaded? - 3/16/2013 7:36:36 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		but but but she's a princess!!!

Just what every man wants!

_____________________________

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Everything has changed

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: How do i get past being so Jaded? - 3/16/2013 8:23:40 PM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HisSexyBrat

WOW... the haters here are crazy. i basically was here asking if anyone else was going through issues of finding it harder and harder to trust Others that could be their potential DOM or sub because of the Haters and the Lies that are told here. That's all. Apparently me wording some of my issues was too much for most. It's merely a question of obviously trust on line and how much does ONE/one trust when it comes to trying to meet what and who We are seeking.

Happy Hating!





Cupcake,

First we would actually have to give a shit about you in order to hate you. Frankly you haven't made it worth that effort.

You are essentially asking for an alpha male to submit to your husband. It won't happen.

< Message edited by searching4mysir -- 3/16/2013 8:44:28 PM >

_____________________________

No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM


(in reply to HisSexyBrat)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: How do i get past being so Jaded? - 3/17/2013 5:31:21 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir
With two "alpha males" there, they will be fighting for control. What happens when one gives orders that contradict the other's?

I am SO glad that when I use the term "alpha male" I mean "an actually mature adult". What happens is they sit down and work it out with each other. If they cannot do that I think the slave should send them both to their room without dinner since we're talking about children here.

@OP
How you get past your history is by getting past it. That's going to require some work on your part. For starters, you are going to need to own up to the fact that it is YOUR history... it is the results of YOUR decisions. Then you can figure out why your decision making process was so fucked up. Then you can fix that. From there, you can safely get over your past because it isn't going to recur.

As it sits right now, your name, your signature, and your post history are all red flags to me. See, I have a GOOD decision making process so I don't run into the sort of trouble you're talking about. I agree with the notion that you should seek out some counselling.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to searching4mysir)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: How do i get past being so Jaded? - 3/17/2013 10:43:47 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Baroana


quote:

ORIGINAL: HisSexyBrat

Hi Ladies... Sorry this was meant for DOM Males really.



Well, it appears that the dom males don't really give a shit about your problems.



Not only that, but you cannot dictate who replies to threads.


< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 3/17/2013 10:44:20 AM >

(in reply to Baroana)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: How do i get past being so Jaded? - 3/17/2013 12:10:09 PM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline 		It is frustrating to be on a quest for a want and it never transpires. Develop patience and do not put so much emotional investment into people before actions meet the words.
Two doms sharing a sub? Even if you found what you thought the perfect match of a truthful outstanding man you seek, this could be very confusing to you, and just in personal opinion, would never work.
It would be like a country having two presidents, who do you follow? The Dom you seek would not seem to fit in such a situation? I understand they like to be number one. They are the people who control,who impose multiple relationships if they see fit, and lead. THis situation would leave him competing. I just question if your want is really what you need or is realistic. Are you sure you truly need a dom?

_____________________________

I am like a box of chocolates, you never know what variety you are going to get on any given day.

My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 40
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