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Specifically, does a TYPICAL male:Domme encounter invol... - 3/19/2013 11:46:25 AM   
Cilicia


Posts: 72
Joined: 1/23/2013
Status: offline 		I realize this is a dumb question, as there is nothing typical nor common to everyone - yet - I still have questions, having met one potential Domme for coffee.
What I learned from her, is that it's all about her, which, makes sense, but what about the reciprocity?

Specifically, does a TYPICAL male:Domme encounter involve the male getting off?

The reason I ask this is that I fantasize about SERVING a Domina, doing ANYTHING she wants me to do, whatever that may be, and allowing her to use me any way she likes, but, after all that, in the end, I'd like to get off.

However, the Domina I spoke to said that's never the case.

So now I'm confused. No need for wank fodder - but - do TYPICAL male:Domina encouters end up with NO ORGASM for the male?



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RE: Specifically, does a TYPICAL male:Domme encounter i... - 3/19/2013 11:53:19 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Why would you expect an orgasm over simple coffee?


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Cilicia)
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RE: Specifically, does a TYPICAL male:Domme encounter i... - 3/19/2013 12:33:17 PM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline 		When you were placing your order on domsRUs.com, did you open the drop down menu for add-ons and select +happy_ending?

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: Specifically, does a TYPICAL male:Domme encounter i... - 3/19/2013 12:34:31 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Why would you expect an orgasm over simple coffee?



Thats why I always order the supremo frappachino

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RE: Specifically, does a TYPICAL male:Domme encounter i... - 3/19/2013 12:42:35 PM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline 		LOL, Ron! I too thought of someone putting the frap in frappachino when I read the OP's posting.

Wow, coffee date ending in an orgasm. I'm doing it wrong then because the thought of turning into Meg Ryan a'la Sally at my local Starbucks just isn't my thing. Ive still got to be able to look those people in the eye the next time I want coffee. To say nothing of the fact that hot coffee drinks and involuntary orgasm muscle spasms just don't sound like a good mix.

On a more personal note, not every dominant female looks at things from the same perspective as the one you met. But based on the posts you have posted today all asking pretty much the same question, my honest opinion is you seem very focused on getting off. You might just need to be straight up about that focus with the women you meet. But be careful, a sub obsessed with getting off all the time to the point of being a pain in the ass about it isn't an attitude that I personally will deal with.

< Message edited by SeekingTrinity -- 3/19/2013 1:04:53 PM >

(in reply to mnottertail)
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RE: Specifically, does a TYPICAL male:Domme encounter i... - 3/19/2013 12:59:17 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		All snark aside, I'm assuming you mean when you move on with whichever woman you find, rather than that first meet coffee.

There is no "typical" as you already realize. There are many variables that come into play. Are you meeting with a pro, to schedule a session? Most pro dominant females, are not likely going to get you off, although of course, some will. Are you looking for a playmate? Again, then you and she negotiate what each of you desires to get from your meetings. Are you looking for a long term partner? You still need to negotiate and discuss what each of you expect from a relationship.

Personally, if you are looking for a long term partner, I don't find it odd that you would like to get sexual satisfaction from the relationship. Do you think each time you do the dishes on command, you should get a hand job? If so, re-assess what you want.

Obviously, the woman you met for coffee doesn't intend for there to be any reciprocity, so she is unlikely to be a good match for you.

(in reply to Cilicia)
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RE: Specifically, does a TYPICAL male:Domme encounter i... - 3/19/2013 1:26:20 PM   
unsafenonconsent


Posts: 15
Joined: 12/8/2012
Status: offline 		A significant subset of female led relationships involve the male being kept in prolonged chastity. Really this is just something you need to think out in more detail and discuss with your prospects. It's much the same as the "doing anything" aspect. That's great in fantasy. In fact there's a case to be made that it is THE fantasy for us D/s folks. But what if you're with someone who decides she'd like to cut off your leg and force-feed it to you? In terms of typical real-life encounters you will probably either need something highly negotiated or you need to find someone you trust to know what's best for you and go along with it wherever it takes you. Either way, you need to think a lot about what you want out of a relationship, how you want her to want to use you, as that will help you to find someone suitable.

I know it can be difficult to find genuinely dominant females and that there tend to be a lot more males seeking them than there is demand so there's a bit of a tendency to jump at the first opportunity that presents itself, but hang in there and you'll be better off in the end.

(in reply to Cilicia)
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RE: Specifically, does a TYPICAL male:Domme encounter i... - 3/19/2013 1:39:49 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cilicia

I realize this is a dumb question, as there is nothing typical nor common to everyone - yet - I still have questions, having met one potential Domme for coffee.
What I learned from her, is that it's all about her, which, makes sense, but what about the reciprocity?

Specifically, does a TYPICAL male:Domme encounter involve the male getting off?

The reason I ask this is that I fantasize about SERVING a Domina, doing ANYTHING she wants me to do, whatever that may be, and allowing her to use me any way she likes, but, after all that, in the end, I'd like to get off.

However, the Domina I spoke to said that's never the case.

So now I'm confused. No need for wank fodder - but - do TYPICAL male:Domina encouters end up with NO ORGASM for the male?





Not a domme (I lack the proper equipment) but, speaking purely from a straight dominant perspective, my response would be that your reward is in the act of serving itself.
I own all the bitch, lock, stock, twat, mind, body, soul- orgasms included. They are mine to grant or not. And if I want to, hey, great for her. She's been in a blessed zone as of late. But I've also denied her, not for short periods of time but for months, for no other reason than because it appealed to me to do so. I enjoyed her torment and suffering (For details search Defcon and my name).
Besides which, serving w/o any expectation of reciprocity turns the servitude into an act of altruism, which means she has the opportunity to give unto others and, in doing, grow spiritually and emotionally.
And who am I to deny her a life changing experience like that?
That would make me a bad dom-one that hurts her for my own selfish reasons (heheheheheh). So in denying her, I'm helping make her a better person.

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to Cilicia)
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RE: Specifically, does a TYPICAL male:Domme encounter i... - 3/19/2013 2:01:08 PM   
MAINEiacMISTRESS


Posts: 1180
Joined: 9/12/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cilicia

I realize this is a dumb question, as there is nothing typical nor common to everyone - yet - I still have questions, having met one potential Domme for coffee.
What I learned from her, is that it's all about her, which, makes sense, but what about the reciprocity?

Specifically, does a TYPICAL male:Domme encounter involve the male getting off?

The reason I ask this is that I fantasize about SERVING a Domina, doing ANYTHING she wants me to do, whatever that may be, and allowing her to use me any way she likes, but, after all that, in the end, I'd like to get off.

However, the Domina I spoke to said that's never the case.

So now I'm confused. No need for wank fodder - but - do TYPICAL male:Domina encouters end up with NO ORGASM for the male?






It sounds to Me like you view women simply as sexual objects, that Our purpose in life is to provide men with orgasms and you cannot FATHOM having interaction with a woman that DOESN'T include an orgasm. Do you expect an orgasm when you have ANY interaction with a woman? Say, what if she were your coach, or doctor, or martial arts instructor, or next door neighbor?
I mean, are you incapable of having a FRIENDSHIP with a woman that doesn't involve your wee willy wankstick standing at attention and spewing like a garden hose?
Many of us enjoy the cerebral aspects of D/s...there is far more to be achieved through psychological manipulation than satisfaction of that small part of yourself that you seem to worship. Those who have undergone Chastity Training and long-term orgasm denial finally "get it". The psychological and physiological changes that take place in a male can be a beautiful shared experience. The fact that so many are "into" it should send a message to you.
Stop watching so much porn and try to actually GET TO KNOW some Dominant women.
And to answer your question, No, a typical meet-up with a Domme does not result in male orgasm.
--MM

< Message edited by MAINEiacMISTRESS -- 3/19/2013 2:06:42 PM >

(in reply to Cilicia)
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RE: Specifically, does a TYPICAL male:Domme encounter i... - 3/19/2013 4:37:48 PM   
pompeii


Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MAINEiacMISTRESS
A typical meet-up with a Domme does not result in male orgasm.


To each his own, but if/when I meet up with a submissive, if she did NOT have an orgasm (better yet, quite a few more than one), I'd consider myself an abject failure as a Top.

(in reply to MAINEiacMISTRESS)
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RE: Specifically, does a TYPICAL male:Domme encounter i... - 3/19/2013 4:54:17 PM   
pompeii


Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline 		Some of the answers in this thread amazed me, so, I took the liberty of taking a poll on the question (more general than this thread though), over here:
POLL: How important is a submissive's orgasm in your D/s play?

(in reply to pompeii)
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RE: Specifically, does a TYPICAL male:Domme encounter i... - 3/19/2013 7:26:02 PM   
FrostedFlake


Posts: 3084
Joined: 3/4/2009
From: Centralia, Washington
Status: offline 		It seems there are two kinds of people.

Those who think kink is about getting off and those who spout unbelievable bullshit.

_____________________________

Frosted Flake
simul justus et peccator
Einen Liebhaber, und halten Sie die Schraube

"... evil (and hilarious) !!" Hlen5

(in reply to pompeii)
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RE: Specifically, does a TYPICAL male:Domme encounter i... - 3/19/2013 7:29:40 PM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FrostedFlake

It seems there are two kinds of people.

Those who think kink is about getting off and those who spout unbelievable bullshit.



Wait... which one am I?

(in reply to FrostedFlake)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Specifically, does a TYPICAL male:Domme encounter i... - 3/19/2013 7:43:09 PM   
Cilicia


Posts: 72
Joined: 1/23/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FrostedFlake
Those who think kink is about getting off and those who spout unbelievable bullshit.


Oh oh. Was I the former or the latter?

(in reply to FrostedFlake)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Specifically, does a TYPICAL male:Domme encounter i... - 3/19/2013 8:03:59 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cilicia
So now I'm confused. No need for wank fodder - but - do TYPICAL male:Domina encouters end up with NO ORGASM for the male?

I can't speak for everyone, just for me, but:
Over coffee? No.
In the earlier stages of getting to know each other? No.
In an actual relationship? Most of the time yes, but not always. And, when it does happen, it happens when and how I want it to. If not, well, better luck next time.

NBMG

< Message edited by NiceButMeanGirl -- 3/19/2013 8:04:41 PM >

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I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.


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RE: Specifically, does a TYPICAL male:Domme encounter i... - 3/19/2013 8:12:50 PM   
pompeii


Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline 		In the other thread, I'm finding out that D/s play is not at all about sex for some people.
Wow. I'm utterly amazed, as, for me, it's nothing but sex. What good is it without orgasm for both partners? Makes absolutely no sense to me otherwise.
But, that might explain why some people can't stand the sexy bits sticking out in the pictures. It's not about sex for them. Who would have thunk it? Not me.

(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Specifically, does a TYPICAL male:Domme encounter i... - 3/19/2013 8:13:34 PM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pompeii


quote:

ORIGINAL: MAINEiacMISTRESS
A typical meet-up with a Domme does not result in male orgasm.


To each his own, but if/when I meet up with a submissive, if she did NOT have an orgasm (better yet, quite a few more than one), I'd consider myself an abject failure as a Top.



There are submissives who don't play on a first meeting, so not only am I not going to have an orgasm on a first meet, neither will you (unless you choose to wack one off either before I get there or after I leave).

< Message edited by searching4mysir -- 3/19/2013 8:16:42 PM >

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No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM


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RE: Specifically, does a TYPICAL male:Domme encounter i... - 3/19/2013 8:17:15 PM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pompeii

In the other thread, I'm finding out that D/s play is not at all about sex for some people.
Wow. I'm utterly amazed, as, for me, it's nothing but sex. What good is it without orgasm for both partners? Makes absolutely no sense to me otherwise.
But, that might explain why some people can't stand the sexy bits sticking out in the pictures. It's not about sex for them. Who would have thunk it? Not me.


It's about a relationship for me. The d/s is there perpetually. The sex is there only occasionally.

(in reply to pompeii)
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RE: Specifically, does a TYPICAL male:Domme encounter i... - 3/19/2013 9:20:42 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FrostedFlake

It seems there are two kinds of people.

Those who think kink is about getting off and those who spout unbelievable bullshit.
Considering that I'm absolutely not the former, I'll have to settle for your belief that I am the latter.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to FrostedFlake)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Specifically, does a TYPICAL male:Domme encounter i... - 3/19/2013 10:19:52 PM   
FrostedFlake


Posts: 3084
Joined: 3/4/2009
From: Centralia, Washington
Status: offline 		Now, OP, here is the object lesson.

What do you suppose I would get if I tried to make nice-nice with THOSE babes?

The best advice anyone ever gave anyone is ;
quote:

to thine own self be true.


Often attributed to Shakespeare. But in fact it was a fictional character of his, Polonius, who spake these pearls in Bills' stead.

http://www.enotes.com/hamlet-text/act-i-scene-iii#ham-1-3-82

_____________________________

Frosted Flake
simul justus et peccator
Einen Liebhaber, und halten Sie die Schraube

"... evil (and hilarious) !!" Hlen5

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 20
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