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Alwaysmylove -> RE: If your D/s activity is not about sexuality - then what IS your D/s activity about? (4/1/2013 9:58:53 AM)
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ORIGINAL: chatterbox24
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ORIGINAL: Alwaysmylove
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ORIGINAL: littlewonder
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ORIGINAL: MAINEiacMISTRESS
Jesus christ, My husband would be D.E.A.D. if he ever did that to Me...ESPECIALLY if I was in the middle of PMS.
And PMS is a HORMONAL thing...not "just being a biotch unnecessarily". If a man can't figure out how to cope with it--in a beneficial way--without violence, then he has no right to be a husband. This attitute that there is something WRONG with a woman if she's cranky during a certain time of the month when her hormones are going nuts is misogynistic. But whatever, if that's your D/s dynamic then fine.
Sorry but I'm going to disagree with you here. You may be pmsing but how you react is up to you. Just because you are hormonal does not mean you get to act like a bitch and blame it on pms.
Actions are choices.
If I was pmsing...even though I don't pms, never have, and Master decided to tell me to fucking grow up or spank me or whatever because I was acting like a bitch, I wouldn't blame him one tiny bitch. I would probably be grateful to him for pointing it out to me that I was acting like a child.
I don't think that using a blanket statement here is fair or completely correct. Some people, it seems, can NOT control themselves in the ways that you are able to. There are a spectrum of symptoms associated with PMS: some (like you) don't seem to suffer at all, most seem to have mild to medium symptoms, but there are people at the complete other end of that spectrum.
PMDD, or premenstrual dysphoric disorder, afflicts 3-8% of women and those that are severely afflicted may not be able to control their moods and reactions all of the time. Chances are, a lot of those women just consider it PMS, as it's the norm for them, and have not gone on to explore it beyond that.
Hormones can cause cancer, they can kill, is it really that much of a stretch to believe that beyond the physical symptoms, there can be neurological and emotional changes that cause reactions that are beyond the control of such a person? Or, that are currently beyond their control, since they have not looked into it more and found coping strategies (because they assume all PMS is pretty much the same)? Telling such a woman she is a bitch, acting like a child, or punishing her is not likely to help change the behavior anymore than those same strategies would work on a person with clinical depression.
I am going to have to respectfully disagree with some of this. I am a person with very changeable moods ( anyone agree? LOL) If you dig deep within yourself, alot of these emotional issues can be controlled. Takes alot of control, alot of trials and errors, and you have to really want it. I am guessing here, but lilwonder has a dom who helps her with control, and it may seem she is almost robotic at times with very lil emotional fluctuations, but this is something she has really worked on in life. ANd as Lilpixie said, her dom, gives her care then if she doesnt snap out of it, she gets a wake up call. ANd it works. ITs done out of care not out of abuse. I can relate cause that is what it takes for me sometimes for that wake up call to snap me out of it. A life lesson, not a pill. I think everyone is capable of this kind of control if they want it bad enough, unless they are mentally ill. It might even takes years to accomplish it, but its possible with a mindset.
I don't really think we disagreed all that much. As I said, 'currently' beyond their control. You pretty much said the same thing when you went on to say it could take years. My point was, that while that work was being done, punishment or calling someone out as a bitch was not likely to be all that helpful.
However, you did add "unless they are mentally ill." I believe PMDD is currently listed as a depressive disorder in the DSM-IV (it's pretty controversial though), the only real differences noted between it and Major Depressive Disorder is that it is cyclical in nature. So, while not a mental illness, it's still serious stuff for the people who suffer from it. It goes far beyond what 90% or more of women ever experience or can relate to.
I think that, for 9 out of 10 women, you and little wonder are right on the money. It's just that for that other woman, her period can bring about a living hell. And, to discredit or invalidate that would be like saying that we should just tell depressed people to get over themselves without addressing the underlying cause. It just does not work that way.
Don't want to hijack the thread, so I will leave it at that.
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