MaamJay
Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline
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There was a recent furore here in Australia when a shopping centre dared to put up a sign about children's behaviour in their food mall/eating area. People got very upset about it and there were accusations of selfishness from those who dared to seek a quietish sit down and some food during their shopping. There was also statements like "you were young once and must have misbehaved" to which I say BULLSHIT! My parents were PARENTS - they were in authority. We learned to behave at home and we knew when we went out we had to be extra good. My parents never once smacked me (more's the pity LOL!! ... I actually felt a bit deprived!), it was all done with calm voices that gave consistent messages. We learned what NO meant, but we also learned what praise was and wanted to get it. We had clear boundaries, routines and rules and that structure was good. It meant we knew what we could and could not do, had regular bedtimes, and so didn't get fractious from being over-tired. I did think a midnight curfew once I was past 18 was pushing it a bit though LOL! I seriously pity kids that are growing up in totally unstructured homes with parents who want their kids to be their best friends! That's totally inappropriate to the parenting role, at least until they are adults too. It must be hell for those kids all the time trying to figure out how the world works, especially when they're allowed to do something one time and then not the next. Inconsistency seems to be rife and a major problem. My mother was very proud of the fact that she could take any of us to eat anywhere and never had to discipline us because we knew how to behave. I can recall getting lots of compliments from wait staff who were so pleased to have a well-behaved child in their restaurant. I agree that children need some socialising but they need to know and practice the rules at home before trying them out in public. It's unfair to make others the unwitting subjects of your experiments in child behaviour. That said, I go out of My way to thank parents whose children are behaving well in restaurants or other public places. I figure people criticise often and praise rarely, I like to redress that balance!
My little rant over, specifically: I don't think children of any age should be at a munch (or at weddings unless specifically invited for that matter!). Neither should they be taken to movie theatres for anything other than a children's matinee. They should not run amok in supermarkets, shopping centres or restaurants. If you can't teach them to behave at home, get help until you can but don't inflict them on others. Children laughing a bit loud or chattering a little loud is acceptable to Me (though parents should tell them to turn the volume down a bit) ... screeching, screaming, wailing, yelling ... whether with excitement, fear or sadness is NOT. Take them outside immediately till they calm down. It is the parent's responsibility to teach them how to behave, not that of other carers, teachers etc. And if your kids misbehave, don't get mouthy with people who bring that to your attention, or who ask the kids to behave properly. Apologise and remove the kids.
Finally, these days, people CHOOSE to have kids. This means they should be prepared to give up things for a while - things like overseas holidays, going out to lots of adults events like the movies, munches etc UNLESS they have good carers in place. If you're not prepared to make some sacrifices ... don't have them! Simple as that!
Maam Jay aka violet[A]
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Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)
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RE: Kids at munch?? - 
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