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RE: if - 3/31/2013 5:08:54 AM   
SWiron


Posts: 3
Joined: 3/27/2013
Status: offline 		to me you were right. Thats a sort of extreme humiliation play that's more fun as a fantasy then something you really do and anyone who did that without asking deserves the same treatment as if they went into watersports or knife play without a discussion.

Being dominant doesnt mean you can do whatever you want. It means you have a responsibility to control with love, and give exactly as much pain and punishment as your submissive enjoys and no more. it means control of yourself not to get carried away and go too far above all.

Subs give us a lot of opportunity for abuse and a good dominant knows that and doesnt take it.

(in reply to hairpullinggal)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: if - 3/31/2013 8:08:17 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Too bad the op doesn't come back to make her story a little more clearer. It's really annoying when the op just takes off.


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(in reply to SWiron)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: if - 3/31/2013 12:09:23 PM   
SWiron


Posts: 3
Joined: 3/27/2013
Status: offline 		yes it is

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: if - 4/1/2013 12:24:56 AM   
FrostedFlake


Posts: 3084
Joined: 3/4/2009
From: Centralia, Washington
Status: offline 		You definitely should not have hit him in the face. Unless knee to the groin was impossible.

Edit : Typo

< Message edited by FrostedFlake -- 4/1/2013 12:26:37 AM >

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Frosted Flake
simul justus et peccator
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(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: if - 4/4/2013 6:46:11 AM   
hairpullinggal


Posts: 18
Joined: 3/19/2013
Status: offline 		alright...apparently I. Didn't explain very well..
This was someone I had been chatting with on FETLIFE, in my area. After what was roughly almost 2 weeks of chatting I agreed to a face to face meeting at a coffeehouse. Spen little over an hour chatting. This was not a scene, or play or anything. there was potential at a play party, maybe. He was not a bad guy but wasn't feeling any connection or chemistry. In previous conversations yes I had some things I like and don't like. SPITTING was not talked about. He did ask if I would like to meet again. I said thank u, but I doubted it. Didn't explain why. Said it was nice meeting but I had to go. We had been there an hour. Didn't see a problem walking out with me. Again he asked if I was sure about meeting in future. No thanks! I hit alarm on car, reached for handle and turned to say thanks, c ya, bye, and he cleared his throat and spit. I was shocked and b4 I realized what I was doing, I balled up my fist, drew back and soccer punched him in his face. I may be new to this but ill be god damned if someone is going to spit it my face and me not react. and I tell u what...I would do again. And I know it hurt him. I do not want that getting around. I was embarrassed over whole damn thing. Who the hell does that...? Men I attract, that's who. And now I know a hard limit!

(in reply to SWiron)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: if - 4/4/2013 7:53:54 AM   
absolutchocolat


Posts: 1392
Status: offline 		Good for you. He sounds like a kid throwing a tantrum because he didn't get a cookie.

(in reply to hairpullinggal)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: if - 4/4/2013 8:03:08 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: absolutchocolat

Good for you. He sounds like a kid throwing a tantrum because he didn't get a cookie.


Exactly.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to absolutchocolat)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: if - 4/4/2013 8:17:30 AM   
phoenixasubbie


Posts: 55
Joined: 10/28/2012
Status: offline 		That was a classless move by a jerk.

Just because someone calls themselves a Dom or Master doesn't truly make them one. Who knows if he is active in the community or not, but based on this behavior I am going to go with NOT.

Even if he is, I wouldn't worry about this getting around and hurting your reputation. He has more to lose than you do, and I have never met a true dominant who didn't like and respect a woman who can think and care for herself.

He crossed a boundary. I would have called the police I think. You don't know if he has disease or not, and there is potential of getting something. Albeit small... very small.
This was assault.

I have had this in a scene before but it was discussed by the dominant first. That is what responsible Doms do. Turns out I didn't like it after trying it. So, he didn't force it on me. He asked if I would consider from time to time as it was something he really enjoyed.

Don't ever think being dominant is a free ticket to treat you however they want. Take care of you always. And them :)

But this guy got just what he had coming.


(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: if - 4/4/2013 8:26:03 AM   
MasterCaneman


Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline 		I agree, his behavior was entirely inappropriate if he considers himself a Dom. If you choose to give yourself that title, you should carry yourself as one no matter in the bedroom or at the convenience store, and I don't mean being a "Domly Dom". I treat everyone I meet with the the respect they deserve within normal societal standards. Spitting in someone's face is an insult to yourself as well as the recipient. And yes, in Utah, it is considered assault and battery, and even given that technically her response would be considered 'retaliation', the courts can come down hard on guys who assault women. She'd get a pass, no doubt.

(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: if - 4/4/2013 9:06:23 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hairpullinggal
If hard and soft limits not discussed and this Dominant spit in my face, how wrong was I to react by punching him in face? Even if was reaction? Will that get around to other Doms?

If I were you I'd be more interested in whether it got around to a judge & jury than whether it got around to other doms. I suspect that him spitting in your face probably also constitutes some sort of assault charge which is why I never would have done it. But what you did would have me calling the cops. Needless to say that would invalidate you as a potential partner.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to hairpullinggal)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: if - 4/4/2013 9:11:41 AM   
hairpullinggal


Posts: 18
Joined: 3/19/2013
Status: offline 		He was already eliminated as a potential partner. I'm sorry I do not agree. In no way did I. Iniatiate that action from him. I am not a spitone...not for anybody. I would never do that to someone, even if I disliked them already.

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: if - 4/4/2013 9:14:36 AM   
Fmarinex


Posts: 4
Joined: 12/24/2012
Status: offline 		I agree with you hairpullinggal. I just wouldn't worry about it anymore and move on. Good luck to you!

(in reply to hairpullinggal)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: if - 4/4/2013 9:52:30 AM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		Honestly, if he had called the cops after what he did, the cops are not likely going to do anything to her. He would have to embellish quite a bit to get a police officer to believe that he was walking her to her car and she just turned and slugged him.

The cops would likely, no matter what story he gave, believe at the very least, that he made some kind of advance on her, and she rebuked him.

When someone breaks the law themselves, calling the cops is not the best idea. This would be akin to the guy who bought oregano thinking it was marijuana calling the cops to complain he was ripped off by the dealer.

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: if - 4/4/2013 10:02:57 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

Honestly, if he had called the cops after what he did, the cops are not likely going to do anything to her. He would have to embellish quite a bit to get a police officer to believe that he was walking her to her car and she just turned and slugged him.

The cops would likely, no matter what story he gave, believe at the very least, that he made some kind of advance on her, and she rebuked him.

When someone breaks the law themselves, calling the cops is not the best idea. This would be akin to the guy who bought oregano thinking it was marijuana calling the cops to complain he was ripped off by the dealer.


He most likely would have been charged with assault and possibly been served with a subpoena for an HIV test. For her, in most cases the cops would have said, "Nice right hook".

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: if - 4/4/2013 10:24:55 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hairpullinggal
I'm sorry I do not agree.

You may disagree all you want. The question is a legal one and more open to interpretation by judges, DA's and juries than it is "personal opinion".

My own personal opinion is that being female does not make it OK to engage in assault & battery. Nor can I really consider this a "self defense" moment".

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to hairpullinggal)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: if - 4/4/2013 10:33:12 AM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline 		I would want to claw his eyes out, and on a different day I probably would have gave him a run for his money, but lil wonder is right, best to just get in the car. I would probably get in the car now, saying to myself, GET IN THE DAMN CAR CHATTERBOX< GET IN THE DAMNED CAR DO YOU HEAR ME!!! LOL.

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(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: if - 4/4/2013 10:33:30 AM   
hairpullinggal


Posts: 18
Joined: 3/19/2013
Status: offline 		And I would have no problem with that. My actions are my own. Being submissive is not cart blanche to for just anybody to use and degrade. I would happily do again. Maybe my dormaint dominant is just more than others daily dominants self.

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: if - 4/4/2013 10:37:34 AM   
hairpullinggal


Posts: 18
Joined: 3/19/2013
Status: offline 		That was tongue twister! Lol

I am not trying to argue, or insist that I had every right...the opposite in fact.

That being said, its a good thing he did not decide to pee on me also!

(in reply to hairpullinggal)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: if - 4/4/2013 11:18:25 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hairpullinggal
That being said, its a good thing he did not decide to pee on me also!

*laughs* Yeah well.. we both agree that unsolicited spitting, peeing, or hitting is "not approved adult behavior". I gotta admit, his spitting on you think gave me flash backs to like grade 2.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to hairpullinggal)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: if - 4/4/2013 11:30:21 AM   
hairpullinggal


Posts: 18
Joined: 3/19/2013
Status: offline 		that's a good flash back...thought 4 sure u were going to say reminded u of last night! lol

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 60
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