RE: Is being let down part of the job of being a Dom

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Is being let down part of the job of being a Dom

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: Is being let down part of the job of being a Dom

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Is being let down part of the job of being a Dom - 4/6/2013 9:35:01 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

The whole problem with this thread is the op seems to think he's entitled to get laid by virtue of calling himself a dom. He isn't.
He isn't entitled to anything he hasn't earned.

Just because he writes someone who calls herself a sub doesn't mean she's obligated to write back. She isn't. Until she's committed to him, she owes him nothing. She may be submissive to someone else, or hopes to be, but that label doesn't give him any rights.

It would behoove the op to understand this.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to sexyred1)

Profile

Post #: 41

RE: Is being let down part of the job of being a Dom - 4/11/2013 9:18:58 PM

AlexDom3

Posts: 33
Joined: 5/10/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

The whole problem with this thread is the op seems to think he's entitled to get laid by virtue of calling himself a dom. He isn't.
He isn't entitled to anything he hasn't earned.

Just because he writes someone who calls herself a sub doesn't mean she's obligated to write back. She isn't. Until she's committed to him, she owes him nothing. She may be submissive to someone else, or hopes to be, but that label doesn't give him any rights.

It would behoove the op to understand this.

You must be reading a different OP than the one I read, because I didn't see any of that in there.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Profile

Post #: 42

RE: Is being let down part of the job of being a Dom - 4/12/2013 4:48:04 AM

LillyoftheVally

Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline

If it was that you had been meeting these people and then they vanish I would be saying there is obviously something you are doing wrong. As this is happening online I would say your radar is on the blink. If the profiles you are looking at seem a bit good to be true they probably are, watch out for any obvious warnings and don't waste your time with them. Also think about going outside of the internet, it can help.

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to AlexDom3)

Profile

Post #: 43

RE: Is being let down part of the job of being a Dom - 4/12/2013 7:17:25 AM

EligibleOwner

Posts: 51
Joined: 10/16/2009
From: London
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: matt1978

Hello, I think my profile is quite well rounded and when I email subs/slaves the response sometimes is quite positive.

After a couple emails when a maybe date is arranged everything goes silent. If it happened just the once then I'll put it down to nerves but it has happened quite a few times now.

This does sound a bit strange. I can remember only one time ever setting a date with a woman who's just not turned up. I think women generally are more aware than men on the web that they're interacting with real people, and will not want to just leave you high and dry waiting for them.

There's nothing wrong with your profile and it doesn't sound as though you're coming across oddly, but if this has happened a few times I wonder if there's not some explanation. It's just hard to work out what it could be.

So forgive me if I speculate seriously wildly.

I wonder what you mean (if you did mean anything) by a "maybe date". Are you not communicating clearly somehow about what's happening? You also say this is after a couple of e-mails, and I wonder if you're tending to suggest meetings very early, when a few more messages would help both sides. And you talk about things going silent, when exactly that (a vague arrangement of some sort is made, then there's silence) is what women experience from men all the time, and I think dislike. I notice in real, non-kinky, non-dating life that women will often check that an arrangement is still going ahead, when I just assume it is. I wonder if somehow these women think you're the one who's gone silent, and that it's you who needs to make things clear.

I wonder if this is what's happening: after a very quick exchange, you suggest a meeting that somehow has a non-definite aspect to it ("Hey, we could meet next Sunday afternoon for a coffee on the south bank or something") which she says sounds good - but it's a week or more away, and you don't actually come back to her to fix the details, or continue with a further e-mail or two in the week to let her know you're looking forward to it and reassure her it's happening. Then you just assume it is. If it's like this, I could imagine them thinking you're the silent one, and would see why they wouldn't show at a date they don't know is really happening, and think you've forgotten about or never properly fixed.

On munches, I agree this is good advice, and I'm sure some munches are terrific. I'm completely off-scene, as one or two others have said. I tried a munch once, in London as it happens, but it absolutely did not live up to what the organisers said about it being welcoming. I'm a confident person but found it the most difficult social event I can remember, and have felt no wish to go back. I might try again one day. But like Matt, I suspect women who might like me are mostly not there anyway.

(in reply to matt1978)

Profile

Post #: 44

RE: Is being let down part of the job of being a Dom - 4/12/2013 7:24:57 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

I wonder if this is what's happening: after a very quick exchange, you suggest a meeting that somehow has a non-definite aspect to it ("Hey, we could meet next Sunday afternoon for a coffee on the south bank or something") which she says sounds good - but it's a week or more away, and you don't actually come back to her to fix the details, or continue with a further e-mail or two in the week to let her know you're looking forward to it and reassure her it's happening. Then you just assume it is. If it's like this, I could imagine them thinking you're the silent one, and would see why they wouldn't show at a date they don't know is really happening, and think you've forgotten about or never properly fixed.

I have encountered this often. Men contacted me regularly then stopped after mentioning a vague date. So I'd think they've lost interest and made other plans. First dates made me nervous, so I wanted confirmation along the lines of "looking forward to meeting you tomorrow!"

I did always meet the ones who confirmed.

_____________________________

Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

(in reply to EligibleOwner)

Profile

Post #: 45

RE: Is being let down part of the job of being a Dom - 4/14/2013 6:37:08 PM

SomethingCatchy

Posts: 796
Joined: 7/29/2008
Status: offline

You hate punk rock. I'd stop talking to you myself if I hadn't noticed it before.

I'm only half joking.

_____________________________

I believe in Invisible Pink Unicorns

Everyone is gay for Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

(in reply to matt1978)

Profile

Post #: 46

RE: Is being let down part of the job of being a Dom - 4/14/2013 10:52:39 PM

seekingreality

Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: matt1978

Hello, I think my profile is quite well rounded and when I email subs/slaves the response sometimes is quite positive.

After a couple emails when a maybe date is arranged everything goes silent. If it happened just the once then I'll put it down to nerves but it has happened quite a few times now.

I try to be respectful when contacting a sub/ slave, I'm not abusive and am quite honest, I'm not pushy as to scare any one off.

So am I just unlucky? Has London just got no subs or slaves or is my profile rubbish? I would say that mauve they don't like the look of me but I do have a picture on here. Is this a common complaint for a sub/slave as well? Damn unreliable people.
Thanks for reading this.

Generally, I find people are highly flaky about moving anxpecave e online exchange to offline. I don't make any emotional investment or have any expectations with anyone who I only know from typing back and forth with. My philosophy is to press for a meeting sooner rather than later, because the longer it takes, the less likely it is to happen. And frankly I find I am not interested in most of the people I meet from online when I encounter than in real life. This is a numbers game and it's best to not have expectations.

(in reply to matt1978)

Profile

Post #: 47