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ORIGINAL: Rattenkonig
But from the standpoint of someone looking for a serious D/s relationship, why not approach a gal like a human and not a slab of slutmeat?

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ORIGINAL: Rattenkonig
Why do these sorts of men get so violently angry when told you're not interested in what they are selling?

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ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

I don't have an answer to your question. I've often wondered myself why they're so quick to anger, but I've never been able to figure it out.

I have, however, figured out THE best way to avoid getting hate mail for lack of interest... this works better than a polite decline, better than deleting unread, and better than not giving them any reply at all... (all 3 of which generate frequent angry blow ups... at least for me).

Instead... I've began to tell them to buy me something off my amazon wish list, and send that to them...
You'd expect that to generate more negative responses than when you just ignore them or politely decline, but oddly it doesn't.
If I'm not interested in a guy, and I therefore send him my wish list I have an almost 100% guarantee I'll never hear from him again.

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ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

Personally, I would be worried about that 'almost' 100% and that someone actually 'would' gift or donate to charity and then I'd feel obligated and that's icky since I already 'know' I'm not interested so I don't go that route.

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ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rattenkonig
Why do these sorts of men get so violently angry when told you're not interested in what they are selling?

I'm kind of curious about how someone gets "violently angry" over the internet? Where they typing in all caps? Why were you listening?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rattenkonig
As someone with a background in advertising, I get it, cast a wide net, try to attract as many people as you can without looking at their profile & what they are about But from the standpoint of someone looking for a serious D/s relationship, why not approach a gal like a human and not a slab of slutmeat?

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I mean, once again from a marketing perspective- don't you remember those touchy feely adds the most? Even the kinkiest relationship needs a normal human start.

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my actual question: Why do these sorts of men get so violently angry when told you're not interested in what they are selling?
It's not as if there was time, effort, or anxiety put into the messages they send, so why is a polite decline a catalyst for so many expletives? I have thick skin, but it truly worries me that someone would tell me that they hope I get raped or call me harsh names because I tell them I am not interested. I know this isn't all people, it's mostly wankers and cowards and people who are not probably serious about the lifestyle, but any insight onto why this happens would be swell.

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ORIGINAL: lizi

I think the anger and violence that happens with certain people is similar to that of a child who is told they can't have ice cream. These child-like people want something, feel entitled to have it, and then are told they can't have it, which pisses them off.

I also think some men get rejected, a lot, and because they aren't getting anywhere with their goal, they react out of frustration when they are rejected yet again.

I think some men have this idea in their head that because they're on this site with ideas of easy, kinky, sex floating through their minds, that there are equally easy, kinky, women just standing by to hook up with. They're the ones who might not understand that women are here in a lower concentration, and so can be selective in choosing what appeals to them- which is usually a relationship instead of a hookup or online wank.

I think sometimes men take the easy way out. Instead of taking a hard look at themselves, and working at their appearance and/or social skills, they interpret terms like submissive and slave in such a way that they feel this world is the answer for them. When it's not, when women here want the same things as women everywhere want, an attractive, socially adept man, they whine like babies; after all, they already have problems with social things.

I blame porn and the sexual ads here or pics that women post of nudity - men are more visual, they see, they tend to want. I also think that because men have a more simplistic manner of thinking - they're problem solvers - they see a site with naked ladies and it's an instant solution to their problem of wanting naked ladies. Now. When the purty ladies say no, it's a bit of a shock to them. I think it's a bit like a grocery store, you go to the store to buy bread, you have adult content on this site and its like an ad to come get your easy fuck.

I think the subject of BDSM is like a electric wire to the private parts of lots of men, it bypasses their higher thinking powers like sexual things do. When they're given a cock block it's like they feel assaulted themselves, so they hit back with words. It's a more primitive need/reaction on their part to get the hardon in the first place, I think it invokes a primitive reaction in return when they're turned down.

I wonder if sometimes men feel vulnerable when they sally forth with a first move, like a guy asking if a girl wants to dance. When she says no, they feel exposed- like she pushed them, and want to guard themselves by pushing back. They somehow view a rejection as an attempt to be mean on the part of the woman instead of her having a simple right to say no thanks. On that note, some men interpret the words submissive and slave to be literal interpretations. They think they're going to get someone who just accepts them as is with no wants/needs of her own and be ready for instant commanding.

All in all, lots of guys don't think past their initial ticked off reaction of not getting their candy so they want to spew their dissatisfaction all over. If they did, they might see how their reaction isn't acceptable. It's great actually that you get to find out about these guys right from the start and see that they're not what you want, but it can be really hard to wade through that crap in the inbox continually. This is one reason why I have my profile hidden right now.

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ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
All of it's obviously idiotic... and pretty easy to shake off from a total stranger... but the sheer frequency with which it happens makes that it can sometimes really get to you, especially if you're already having a bad day and aren't in a good headspace. But mostly it's just really annoying.