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MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: Local People on CollarMe (6/24/2006 3:53:49 AM)
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When I lived in Philly, I met over a dozen people from sites like CM and alt. Only one or two since I moved to MD, but I've also downplayed the lifestyle in priorities since I moved down here due to school (there goes the free time), plus it's a rural area in MD. The closest munch is a 50 mile drive one way (and the one I more often go to is 70 miles).
I find that having a bdsm personal online with the hopes of meeting someone through this one and only method is rather pointless. Most people don't communicate well enough online to come across as someone interesting to meet. I also won't spend a lot of time talking to people online if the end result wanted is to meet - there's a small window for that to happen and if it doesn't in that time period (I give it a month from first contact), then I'm done talking to them - I'm not interested in talking to someone online ad nauseum.
What is useful about keeping a profile posted here is that when I get out to scene events, I regularly run into people who I've seen online and it's a segue into introducing oneself and starting up conversations that do lead to things like getting together later for lunch/dinner/etc. That's happened quite often.
Any longer BDSM relationships I've had (several lasting well over a year each) have occured with men that I've met through the local scene (either at an event or referred to by someone I knew r/t) and NOT initially online, with the exception of several Domme with whom I've had long friendships.
I think ultimately the best way to meet people is to explore multiple options. Get involved in your local scene, and make friends with everyone, not just those you think you might be in a relationship with. Keep a personals online, and engage in "image control", i.e. if you feel you have a lot to offers, make sure you come across as interesting and upbeat rather than a bitter complainer. Be as flexible in what you're looking for - if you're ONLY open to someone who lives in a 10 mile radius who fits a certain mold physically and who will do kinks x, y, z then you're not going to find someone. If there are barriers holding you back from meeting people, actively work on removing those barriers. If there are reasons that you know make you undesirable as a potential partner, then make sure you showcase the reasons that DO make you desirable.
No one is going to magickally sweep down and scoop you up like some juicy tidbit if you don't make sure you come across as a juicy tidbit.
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