RE: What do Subs Want in a Mistress/Domme?

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RE: What do Subs Want in a Mistress/Domme? - 5/23/2013 6:25:25 PM

ThundersCry54

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A huge home that is right on the ocean for starters...wit no other homes around for a mile or so!

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RE: What do Subs Want in a Mistress/Domme? - 5/23/2013 6:31:47 PM

Charles6682

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From: Saint Pete,FL
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Sounds like a nice goal.I can't wait to get my mansion on the Gulf of Mexico.Even with money,I would still wind up being the servant!

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RE: What do Subs Want in a Mistress/Domme? - 5/24/2013 6:32:53 AM

garyFLR

Posts: 4030
Joined: 5/11/2013
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Looking for a Mistress who is the female version of Charles Gray in 'Diamonds Are Forever'.

Not putting a laughter icon after this, because it's true.

If she had an underground secret base with rayguns, that would be just brilliant!!

Ps, she could slap my arse anytime!

Still no smiley.

< Message edited by garyFLR -- 5/24/2013 6:34:26 AM >

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RE: What do Subs Want in a Mistress/Domme? - 5/24/2013 3:17:53 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
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From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
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lol

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RE: What do Subs Want in a Mistress/Domme? - 5/24/2013 3:36:05 PM

Rawni

Posts: 1175
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quote:

ORIGINAL: garyFLR

Looking for a Mistress who is the female version of Charles Gray in 'Diamonds Are Forever'.

Not putting a laughter icon after this, because it's true.

If she had an underground secret base with rayguns, that would be just brilliant!!

Ps, she could slap my arse anytime!

Still no smiley.

I'm still working on the lightning from my fingertips. I will never get this....

Whether I am serious or not!

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Post #: 45

RE: What do Subs Want in a Mistress/Domme? - 5/24/2013 5:04:56 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
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From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rawni
I'm still working on the lightning from my fingertips.

I bet you are!!!

NBMG

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RE: What do Subs Want in a Mistress/Domme? - 5/24/2013 7:42:07 PM

garyFLR

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Rawni & NiceButMeanGirl,

I'm yours!

Yet again no smiley.

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RE: What do Subs Want in a Mistress/Domme? - 5/25/2013 1:55:25 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
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From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
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lol

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RE: What do Subs Want in a Mistress/Domme? - 5/25/2013 2:03:06 PM

garyFLR

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RE: What do Subs Want in a Mistress/Domme? - 5/27/2013 10:48:34 AM

NiteWing2000

Posts: 28
Joined: 1/29/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

Your comment got me thinking. Women are inundated with guys who are constantly talking about all the ways a mistress will "torture" them sexually. Men, both here and the other side, regularly hear how women want someone who performs this, that and the other service. This is excluding the "findomme" little girls who are simply out to make a buck.

Where I see the problem is that, on the face of things, some women may be forgetting that male subs are people with feelings, or that they are going to the opposite extreme and talking only about service to try to ram the point home that it isn't all about sex.

From my experience on the other side the vast majority of the Domme women are the thing they complain about the most. They complain about the Do me sub when they are in fact the "Do me Domme" I do not care about your wants and needs. If you serve me for months then maybe I might give you a treat.

Sadly many miss the point of a relationship whether it be BDSM of Vanilla. Its 2 people, both have needs and wants. Both expect something out of their partner. If the relationship is all one sided then it is doomed to fail from the start.

What I am looking for in a Domme? Someone who has similar interests and is willing to talk about those interests both vanillia and BDSM. Domination and submission are earned, not taken. It is not about what the Domme wants but it is about what both people want.

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RE: What do Subs Want in a Mistress/Domme? - 5/27/2013 11:09:06 AM

garyFLR

Posts: 4030
Joined: 5/11/2013
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NiteWing2000

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

Your comment got me thinking. Women are inundated with guys who are constantly talking about all the ways a mistress will "torture" them sexually. Men, both here and the other side, regularly hear how women want someone who performs this, that and the other service. This is excluding the "findomme" little girls who are simply out to make a buck.

Where I see the problem is that, on the face of things, some women may be forgetting that male subs are people with feelings, or that they are going to the opposite extreme and talking only about service to try to ram the point home that it isn't all about sex.

From my experience on the other side the vast majority of the Domme women are the thing they complain about the most. They complain about the Do me sub when they are in fact the "Do me Domme" I do not care about your wants and needs. If you serve me for months then maybe I might give you a treat.

Sadly many miss the point of a relationship whether it be BDSM of Vanilla. Its 2 people, both have needs and wants. Both expect something out of their partner. If the relationship is all one sided then it is doomed to fail from the start.

What I am looking for in a Domme? Someone who has similar interests and is willing to talk about those interests both vanillia and BDSM. Domination and submission are earned, not taken. It is not about what the Domme wants but it is about what both people want.

I think you may have to re appraise your submissiveness

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RE: What do Subs Want in a Mistress/Domme? - 5/27/2013 4:11:41 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NiteWing2000
It is not about what the Domme wants but it is about what both people want.

Totally I agree. I even say in my profile:
I believe respect goes both ways and a dynamic is about both people, not just about me.
And I really believe that. Why should someone stay in a dynamic if his/her needs aren't being met?

NBMG

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RE: What do Subs Want in a Mistress/Domme? - 5/28/2013 2:51:56 AM

garyFLR

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: NiteWing2000
It is not about what the Domme wants but it is about what both people want.

Totally I agree. I even say in my profile:
I believe respect goes both ways and a dynamic is about both people, not just about me.
And I really believe that. Why should someone stay in a dynamic if his/her needs aren't being met?

NBMG

I agree 100%, If both partners needs are not being met, there is no dynamic & the relationship would break down.

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RE: What do Subs Want in a Mistress/Domme? - 6/6/2013 6:56:49 PM

Mriggs

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Someone who takes the time to learn not just what I enjoy doing for you but also can stretch limits without being pushy...knows how to use the carrot and not just the stick... If that makes sense.

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RE: What do Subs Want in a Mistress/Domme? - 6/7/2013 5:27:58 AM

garyFLR

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mriggs

Someone who takes the time to learn not just what I enjoy doing for you but also can stretch limits without being pushy...knows how to use the carrot and not just the stick... If that makes sense.

It makes perfect sense. A relationship has many aspects, not just the D/s element.

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RE: What do Subs Want in a Mistress/Domme? - 6/8/2013 8:16:06 AM

SwitchNSpanky

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I'm pretty darn switchy, but when I want a Boss Lady I want a chick who appears to be selfish and controlling. I want to wonder if she is exploiting me without much concern for me, or my wants and needs. Then, I want all my wants and needs met in a way where it seems like its all for her yet I come away fulfilled as well as she.

As a Dom. That's my goal as well. To make it seem like I'm a uncaring selfish bastard while getting my Sub off and fufilled as much as possible.

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RE: What do Subs Want in a Mistress/Domme? - 6/8/2013 2:59:03 PM

WebWanderer

Posts: 255
Joined: 5/20/2011
From: Fort Worth, TX
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Alpha personality. Physically fit. Intelligent with a sense of humor.

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RE: What do Subs Want in a Mistress/Domme? - 6/15/2013 9:59:45 AM

NissanGTR

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Joined: 6/12/2013
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Although I'm completely new to BDSM, I know exactly what I'm looking for... And don't plan on meeting with a Domme in person for the first time until I find it.

In the Vanilla world, I impose my will onto people in my career, and competitive sports like MMA. I am successful in relationships and have lots of women chasing me.

In this world here, all I want is to experience the shoe on the other foot, the complete loss of control... To submit fully in a broad range of aspects. So the personality traits, fetish and non-fetish commonalities with my Domme aren't that important. Socially I'm a fun, easy going guy, that gets along with most everyone.

It's most important that my Domme and I have the same definition or idea of slavery...

I have a busy life outside the BDSM world. Not looking for a 24/7 Domme, absolute slavery, or to be a dommes only slave. I can't just surrender my career and finances over to a Domme. Other people in this world depend on my business and finances to eat and have a roof. But yet to be considered a slave I think a Mistress has to have some control over my finances and can dictate some of her material needs to me, within a certain percentage of my income, that I can't ignore without there being consequences. Where as a submissive doesn't give up any financial control. And when you pay for "sessions", that doesn't qualify as slavery and barely borderlines on submission, because your fee usually means you can dictate what is going to happen in that session, have a safe word, and dictate when it's going to end. And as a submissive, your Domme can't make financial or other demands from you outside that session. The way I see it, as a "slave", is that my giving up of material goods and gifts, could actually never lead to a "session" or a "scene" as they are labelled. I am a slave, I can make no demands for such attention. In exchange for my gifts, I will get what I get when mistress feels like giving it, and it'll be like a box of chocolates, I have no idea what I'm gonna get. And as long as it won't require an Ambulance, I can't deny her. Also as someone that's wants to be, and identify as a slave, I would imagine most of my actual time spent with my mistess would be in domestic servitude, unless she feels kinky, horney or sadistic on a regular basis. Either way, it is not my place to feel one way or another about it.

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RE: What do Subs Want in a Mistress/Domme? - 6/15/2013 11:34:32 AM

goodgirlmary

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Id like a dom who can be compassionate when necessary, but stern and demanding. I need to obey, it is sortof my thing,so Id want him commanding and strong.Id like clearcut expectations.I need to be told what to do and when Im wrong, and I need a dom capable of punishing me.
I need a dom who can be respectful of my life and obligations.

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RE: What do Subs Want in a Mistress/Domme? - 6/16/2013 9:36:31 AM

cutiewithabootie

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I want a domme who has been around the block. Not that I choose by age but someone who knows what she wants is a plus. I need someone who knows how to articulate her needs. I can't give a domme what she wants if I don't know what that is.

The fact that you care enough to ask speaks volumes about the sort of Lady you are trying to be for a submissive. I don't need someone who thinks shouting expletives at me is a greeting. I want someone who wants to discuss movies and books too.

I don't live a 24/7 kinky life. Its not practicle for me at this time. So someone who has a life outside of kink is a plus.

Also, be nice. It inspires me to try harder and do more and do it better, when I get occassional appreciatiation. "Wow (insert my name here) I liked how you were able to wait on me as a ladies maid for a 12 hour stretch. You made my friends jealous"

It goes a long way if I feel appreciated enough to compliment. Also I am a submissive, not a child. I don't need a baby sitter (unless we are role playing.) So please trust me to be able to clean your/my kitchen without drinking stuff under the sink. I am good about returning messages and don't flip out if I have a previous engagement. If you are my domme, you are my first priority, after my kids.

Those are just a few things I want. I know its a tall order but I think I'm worth it. A domme who tries to fill it is worth my devotion and I can submit more completely with a ton more confidence. At the end of the day, I have to be me and a domme who has the confidence to let me be myself deserves my very best and everything I can possibly give her in return.

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