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RE: Is it harder for black subs? - 4/10/2013 9:41:49 AM

DesFIP

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Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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I've dated people of other backgrounds than my own in my life. Nice people almost all of them.
But I prefer to have as much commonality as possible. And when you go outside your own race, or religion, or ethnicity, or socioeconomic levels, you simply have more areas where you disagree or simply don't understand.

And having to explain where you come from every time gets tiring. I sought someone where I would be understood more often than not.

I don't view that as prejudiced, but that there just isn't enough compatibility. If you would view me as prejudiced because of that, that's your option. Same as getting hassled when I wouldn't date short guys because they just don't do it for me.

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Post #: 41

RE: Is it harder for black subs? - 4/10/2013 12:14:49 PM

BlkTallFullfig

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You keep learning, because being smart, with those looks, and remaining humble, you will soon forget you ever had any difficulty studmuffin. M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 4/10/2013 12:20:53 PM >

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a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

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Post #: 42

RE: Is it harder for black subs? - 4/10/2013 12:31:10 PM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LoyalBlackOne

Despite being contacted by male dommes(I'm straight) on a regular basis, I can barely get any interest from female dommes. Its frustrating when you know you're submissive but you're forced to have vanilla relationships. I want to serve. I want to please. I want to worship my Goddess. What mistakes am I making? And any tips?

Actually No. It's difficult for anyone to find a life partner. All you have to do is look at the divorce rate and see that. Why you have to bring race into the issue is beyond me.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to LoyalBlackOne)

Post #: 43

RE: Is it harder for black subs? - 4/10/2013 12:35:42 PM

BlkTallFullfig

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum
Actually No. It's difficult for anyone to find a life partner. All you have to do is look at the divorce rate and see that. Why you have to bring race into the issue is beyond me.

BadOne

The fact that you may be uncomfortable with the mentioning of race being part of the equation, does not make it less present as a part of the equation.
Everyone has his/her preferences, and that is just another one, without necessarily making the choice racist in any way. M

_____________________________

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""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 44

RE: Is it harder for black subs? - 4/10/2013 12:50:14 PM

SailingBum

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum
Actually No. It's difficult for anyone to find a life partner. All you have to do is look at the divorce rate and see that. Why you have to bring race into the issue is beyond me.

BadOne
The fact that you may be uncomfortable with the mentioning of race being part of the equation, does not make it less present as a part of the equation.
Everyone has his/her preferences, and that is just another one, without necessarily making the choice racist in any way. M

Did I say I was uncomfortable with it....ummm No. Since you asked. My take on his post <and yes I realize he is new to CM> is the OP is whining about not being able to find a partner because of his race. So I attempted to point out that it's difficult to find a partner no matter the race. I trust that clears the matter up for you.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Post #: 45

RE: Is it harder for black subs? - 4/10/2013 12:57:08 PM

submandibular

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I'm inclined to think that with the history of slavery and indentured labour, that people might feel guilty or weird about owning a black sub .... Kind of like they don't want to mix thoughts of the injustices of the past with the lifestyle they love. I could be wrong, but I have thought that on occasion before the OP created the thread.

I'm in no way meaning they should feel guilty, not unless they were part of the old system.

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Post #: 46

RE: Is it harder for black subs? - 4/10/2013 12:58:34 PM

BlkTallFullfig

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The Op, being new, asked for input or comments on his approach.
Why discount his question as valid, and snark at him for asking if race is a factor?
I understood you the first time, no additional clarification necessary SIR. M

quote:

submandibular
I'm inclined to think that with the history of slavery and indentured labour, that people might feel guilty or weird about owning a black sub .... Kind of like they don't want to mix thoughts of the injustices of the past with the lifestyle they love. I could be wrong, but I have thought that on occasion before the OP created the thread.

I felt that way myself, when I first began learning and practicing wiitwd. Than I searched my soul for the reasons I am the way I am, and want the relationship I want, and realized that it is from a place of love, and why would I eliminate people who look like me from having a relationship with me? I'm all about love, even when I beat him.

So, I got over it, and imagine everyone does, when they are of open hearts and minds, and without prejudice. M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 4/10/2013 1:03:36 PM >

_____________________________

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""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 47

RE: Is it harder for black subs? - 4/10/2013 1:09:58 PM

submandibular

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I'm not complaining, I like your outlook :), after all people who are fat or have a low I.Q or for whatever reason might find it harder than others. What I can't accept is somebody flat out saying race doesn't make it harder either (SailingBum), seems like it is ignoring it as a factor.

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Post #: 48

RE: Is it harder for black subs? - 4/10/2013 1:17:10 PM

BlkTallFullfig

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Now you're being wrong! Calling me out to make your point. Damn you!!!!

M

_____________________________

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""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to submandibular)

Post #: 49

RE: Is it harder for black subs? - 4/10/2013 1:20:03 PM

submandibular

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I'm not lol, or at least I didn't think I was.

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Post #: 50

RE: Is it harder for black subs? - 4/10/2013 1:23:44 PM

BlkTallFullfig

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I think laughter is a good way to go with this thread. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to submandibular)

Post #: 51

RE: Is it harder for black subs? - 4/10/2013 1:25:16 PM

UllrsIshtar

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Joined: 7/28/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

I've been told by quite a few white Dommes that black men are naturally dominant, and that they don't believe that there is such a thing as a black male sub. I've also come across innumerable Domme profiles that explicitly say NO BLACK MEN. I'm sure you've seen that as well. Others say that they just don't trust black men enough to invite them into their home or be alone with them in private. These are stereotypes that white male subs typically don't have to deal with. But if you persevere, you can overcome them.

This surprised me, in a disappointing way. When I read the topic of the OP, my first thought was, No, it's about ratio, not race. It's unfortunate that race decreases the odds even more.

It's definitely not a ratio thing. I've seen far more black women willing to date white men than I've seen white women willing to date black men. Whether kinky or vanilla.

Personally, I'd have no qualm inviting a black man over, or about trusting him. I judge individuals by actions, not by natural attributes. I'd have (and have had) no problem hanging out with, being friends with, or even playing casually with a black person. Though at the same time, I don't ever seem myself dating a black man. I'm just not physically attracted to them, just like I'm not physically attracted to men under 5'8, feminine or androgynous men, or blond men.

There are possible exceptions to all those things, if the guy had the right attitude, but it's not my main preference. As shallow as it may sound, I do see skin color when it comes to how attracted I am to a guy... and I know of a lot of other white women who'd say the same thing.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

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Post #: 52

RE: Is it harder for black subs? - 4/10/2013 1:25:26 PM

submandibular

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Joined: 4/14/2012
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I wasn't complaining about it being hard for black subs.

I do like your outlook, a lot.

I wasn't talking about you, I was talking about Dommes in general and how some might feel awkward (black and white Dommes).

Then I was trying to justify it by saying it is kind of like other factors that make it harder for people.

Then I was saying I can't accept somebody flat out ignoring the fact that it could be a factor (not aimed at you).

(in reply to submandibular)

Post #: 53

RE: Is it harder for black subs? - 4/10/2013 1:47:19 PM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
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quote:

ORIGINAL: submandibular

I'm not complaining, I like your outlook :), after all people who are fat or have a low I.Q or for whatever reason might find it harder than others. What I can't accept is somebody flat out saying race doesn't make it harder either (SailingBum), seems like it is ignoring it as a factor.

We are going to have to agree to disagree. What I can't/refuse to tolerate is someone that complains poor me for whatever reason. <to rich, fat, ugly, color whatever> As you have to rise above the noise.

I will concede that blacks make up a smaller segment of the population although the same can be said for asians, latinos, or any other ppl in the minority. I have not heard any other person define race as a limitation to finding a suitable partner on CM and I been reading the boards for 6 years.

Sure you can go ahead and pick any group of ppl jews, christians, muslims gay, and say life is so difficult because of it.
I for one am tired of the poor me syndrome. Life is what YOU make of it!

BadOne

< Message edited by SailingBum -- 4/10/2013 1:48:53 PM >

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to submandibular)

Post #: 54

RE: Is it harder for black subs? - 4/10/2013 1:52:16 PM

submandibular

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Joined: 4/14/2012
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I agree with you that people have to get on with life and rise above certain difficulties they may face, but it doesn't mean that the difficulties do not exist.

(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 55

RE: Is it harder for black subs? - 4/10/2013 2:01:29 PM

UllrsIshtar

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quote:

ORIGINAL: submandibular

I agree with you that people have to get on with life and rise above certain difficulties they may face, but it doesn't mean that the difficulties do not exist.

I think his point is that everybody has difficulties and that focussing on what your specific set happens to be gets you nowhere.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to submandibular)

Post #: 56

RE: Is it harder for black subs? - 4/10/2013 2:06:57 PM

submandibular

Posts: 40
Joined: 4/14/2012
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what I am trying to say is: does that mean we can't discuss them?

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)

Post #: 57

RE: Is it harder for black subs? - 4/10/2013 2:07:44 PM

BlkTallFullfig

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Pfffffffffffft!

_____________________________

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""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)

Post #: 58

RE: Is it harder for black subs? - 4/10/2013 2:10:42 PM

UllrsIshtar

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Joined: 7/28/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

Pfffffffffffft!

Was that directed at me? Because if it is, your point escapes me.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Post #: 59

RE: Is it harder for black subs? - 4/10/2013 2:11:46 PM

submandibular

Posts: 40
Joined: 4/14/2012
Status: offline

how about mine?

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)

Post #: 60

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