RE: Alcohol at play parties?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Alcohol at play parties?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Alcohol at play parties?

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 5 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Alcohol at play parties? - 4/13/2013 6:34:39 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl
The problem comes in when people have alcohol issues and can't control their intake.

If someone has alcohol issues (or drug) having a rule that prohibits it won't stop them from imbibing. It only changes where and how they're imbibing.

And just because a venue allows alcohol, doesn't mean that they tolerate drunkeness.

Sorry to interrupt, but something crossed My mind when I saw this on the scroll.

This is kind of the same argument that people try to use about why findommes shouldn't be on the site. "OH, what about the people who can't control themselves and ruin themselves financially because they gave all of their money to someone?"

Yes, alcoholism is a terrible difficulty, but we don't ban the sale of alcohol over it. We tried that just under a hundred years ago. The tempest movement didn't work then and we don't need to attempt a similar action within our community.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 21

RE: Alcohol at play parties? - 4/13/2013 6:49:35 PM

graceadieu

Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline

The play parties I've been to (not a lot) have had alcohol, but I don't remember anybody seeming drunk. It was more like a "have a glass of wine while you meet-and-greet" kind of thing.

I think as long as people are being responsible, it's fine, and if they're not, the host/DM should ask them to leave. I wouldn't play with someone who was drunk or really stoned. (I've played under the very light influence of alcohol or weed, but I wouldn't consider more than that to be safe, and even that only because I don't do risky stuff.)

(in reply to breagha)

Post #: 22

RE: Alcohol at play parties? - 4/13/2013 6:51:18 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

Yes, that's true. A party can have alcohol, but it's up to the individual whether or not s/he will drink responsibly and not overdo it. Even if there isn't any at a particular party it doesn't mean that person can't get it elsewhere, either before or after.

NBMG

_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 23

RE: Alcohol at play parties? - 4/13/2013 6:56:15 PM

MasterCaneman

Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline

The vast majority of my experience in the scene comes from working in a private club that served alcohol. Yes, it was forbidden in the play areas, but there was a small service bar and an observation lounge adjacent. The drinking itself wasn't the problem, it was the abuse of prescription pain meds in conjunction we found. I was basically a glorified bouncer with a server's permit, so I had to stay alert to the ones acting a little too out there. Most of the patrons were sound and responsible regarding intoxicants, but all it takes is one to ruin it all.

(in reply to graceadieu)

Post #: 24

RE: Alcohol at play parties? - 4/13/2013 7:12:38 PM

peppermint

Posts: 5170
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

I have never been to a play party that allowed any drinking. The events I have attended also banned alcohol. None of the clubs I have been to have allowed alcohol. After reading what everyone has said I'm rather shocked that drinking is allowed at so many places.

_____________________________

We are stardust, we are golden, and we got to get ourselves back to the garden.

Yes, I am crazy about feathered creatures. I have a dozen chickens, 3 ducks, 5 geese, and 2 parakeets.

Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

(in reply to breagha)

Post #: 25

RE: Alcohol at play parties? - 4/13/2013 7:32:50 PM

PrimalConsonance

Posts: 463
Joined: 7/11/2009
From: Southern New Jersey
Status: offline

Until recently, every play party that I have ever been to has had a strict no-alcohol policy. Hence, I've sort of grown up with that in mind over the years. I'm always a bit leery about attending or hearing about play parties that DO have alcohol at them. We've had a few problems where alcohol and play ended in nothing but problems. So I'm not a big fan of this behavior.

_____________________________

AKA: CNJDom (types in black) and roselaure (types in Red)

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss

(in reply to peppermint)

Post #: 26

RE: Alcohol at play parties? - 4/13/2013 7:43:36 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

I personally don't have a problem with alcohol being drunk at play parties. I admit I will have a drink or two from time to time if Master allows me, before we play. It's not a big deal to me. But I also can handle my liquor and I completely trust Master. Master does not drink so there's not even any concern there whatsoever. But I have also played with Doms who have had a drink or two before we played but again, they were responsible and never drank to the point of blacking out or anything even close. But, hey I'm not the PC type of person and I even had sex with men who got drunk <shocker!>

Again, it's one of those things that if you don't like it, don't do it or be around those who do it.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to breagha)

Post #: 27

RE: Alcohol at play parties? - 4/13/2013 7:44:39 PM

Lawrence111

Posts: 117
Joined: 6/10/2004
Status: offline

I too came up in the "no alcohol play party" format.

A glass of wine at a function's dinner before hand was fine.

Alcohol at events is one of the reason I have not been to any events in the last two years (except for one where no alcohol was served).

While I get the "we're adults" or "bar profits offsets the expenses" arguments, I choose to not participate.

(in reply to PrimalConsonance)

Post #: 28

RE: Alcohol at play parties? - 4/13/2013 8:40:01 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

In all my years of attending at the Lair (and Conquest before that) I don't remember anyone causing a problem due to alcohol. Most of the problems were caused by arrogance and ego.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Lawrence111)

Post #: 29

RE: Alcohol at play parties? - 4/13/2013 9:14:47 PM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

~FR~

I generally feel (though stuff like this is hardly black and white in it's nature) that if you're too drunk to drive, you're too drunk to play.

At the same time, if you're sober enough to operate a 4.000 lbs killing machine in the presence of non-consenting children, you'll probably do fine with a flogger.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 30

RE: Alcohol at play parties? - 4/13/2013 9:31:16 PM

SeekingTrinity

Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline

~FRing it~

I've been at events that are strictly 100% no alcohol and I've attended events that allow alcohol outside of play areas. I'd caution that there are no guarantees (short of having to submit to a Breathalyzer test as part of the admission process) that the strictly anti-alcohol events are truly anti-alcohol because people can always drink before entering the venue. I personally elect to not engage in alcohol consumption if I'm in a position of authority over another, but I've got no problems if someone else does it responsibly. I'm a pretty lightweight type when it comes to alcohol consumption due to stomach and intestinal surgery, so I never quite know how little will end up being too much.

Like OsideGirl, the jackassery I've seen at play parties are due to arrogance and ego...not alcohol.

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)

Post #: 31

RE: Alcohol at play parties? - 4/13/2013 9:37:27 PM

Torabora

Posts: 11
Joined: 4/13/2013
Status: offline

The fetish parties I've been to only had water, a buffet, and snacks.

(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)

Post #: 32

RE: Alcohol at play parties? - 4/13/2013 9:53:15 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

~FR~
Count me on the side that doesn't have a problem with drinking and playing. Not all playing requires total and intense concentration. If someone is cracking a single-tail or using knives, needles or razors, I'm not sure any impairment is wise. I truly believe a good hand-spanking can be dished out/survived if either or both participants are pretty tipsy. As with anything, there's shades of gray. Being sloppy drunk doesn't lend itself to doing much at all properly but playing of some sorts doesn't require total sobriety either. Common sense folks.........luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to Torabora)

Post #: 33

RE: Alcohol at play parties? - 4/14/2013 12:54:44 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

~FR~

Master and I attend a private play party every month where, fortunately, the hosts believe that all the guests are adults who know what they're doing.

I would have no problem attending a play party that had a no alcohol rule. But then again I have no problem attending a play party where alcohol is allowed. I would not be with Master if I didn't 100% trust him to keep me safe. I have a Master. I don't need a nanny too.

edited to clarify that this was a fast reply

< Message edited by myotherself -- 4/14/2013 12:57:50 AM >

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 34

RE: Alcohol at play parties? - 4/14/2013 1:25:49 AM

saundrakitty

Posts: 148
Joined: 9/11/2012
Status: offline

Same here. I have gone to a couple of our play party's and all of us actually do not drink until after the play is over and we are kicking back and talking, but then We also strive to keep everyone safe. I have also gone to TRC Dungeon where they have had an event and No Alcohol is allowed, and that is also fine with me. Like the others i have no Issues with alcohol, but I am not adverse to telling someone to leave if they have had to much- or to go sleep it off and not to play. Me i have a had a beer on rare occasions before I got a spanking, and yep I have had sex slightly tipsy but then it was straight vanilla and it was on my birthday. I will not bottom to a drunk- nor play with a drunk and most of my friends won't either. Plus if Master even thought I had one to many He would put of play until I was normal- but then Its rare that I do drink more then 2 before switching over to soda and water the rest of the night.

(in reply to myotherself)

Post #: 35

RE: Alcohol at play parties? - 4/14/2013 6:24:51 AM

Lucifyre

Posts: 1067
Joined: 3/27/2012
Status: offline

First let me say...I am extremely biased against alcohol use. I grew up in a family littered with mean and stupid drunks and have seen the *instant asshole just add alcohol* quite a bit more than I should have had to.
I do agree that some folks have the ability to imbibe without it being a problem. They can self regulate and not overdo it responsibly. The trouble is however, like someone above said...once it has become a problem it's already too late.
I am in the "I will choose not to attend an event or a party if alcohol is available" camp. While I myself will rarely have a drink, I will not engage in any BDSM type activities if I have consumed anything that may impair me. I too am unable to tolerate people who are even a little bit tipsy. They don't think they're *that* drunk and to me the stupidity that ensues is extremely irritating. I can't even stand Mr when He has had a couple.

just my two cents

Luci

_____________________________

"Batteries? OMG, Bitch Please! My Shit plugs in!"
I do this because it fucking feels good.
I like girls who like girls
The thing about standards is: There are SO many to choose from.

(in reply to saundrakitty)

Post #: 36

RE: Alcohol at play parties? - 4/14/2013 6:25:08 AM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

Teetotalism . . . kiss my beer, wine and tequila drinking ass. That bullshit flies in the face of your leather forefathers.

Let this old dog tell you the truth about alcohol and leather parties. Your forefathers, the leathermen, they drank. In fact, the social etiquettes and protocols that make up the leather community were worked out in gay leather bars [emphasis: bar, a place were tasty alcoholic beverages are served]. Leather and alcohol both have always historically made for a nice party . . . until one day when the leather community let all those alcoholic hetros in. You know the stereotype well. Often they are the ones overly focused on doing things right, by the book and in a way to is socially acceptable. They seem to need justification . . . and emotionally, they really do. It is part of their root problem, but curing addictions is for another thread.

So now we come to all the thrill seeking AA members who turned to the swingers and leather communities for their surrogate buzz to replace alcohol . . . because AA doesn’t cure the addiction, it supports a state of abstinence instead of curing the need. All these “friends of Bill” flooded our communities looking for thrills and when the SSC slogan was created, those bastards grabbed that flag and rose it up high to eliminate booze in the name of safety… in the name of SSC. Well, kiss my beer loving slave beating ass . . . suddenly drinking beer makes me a “bad Master”. What’s next, my cigars?

Have you ever gone to another country? You can tell the experienced travelers by how well they navigate to the truth through the language and cultural differences. Well, the same is true in this thread. You can tell who is a victim of the bullshit SSC mantra. Don’t let a bunch of ex-winos try to instill a new social norm.

Fuck you Teetotalers and remember, high protocol is to get on your knees when you serve me my beer.

< Message edited by ResidentSadist -- 4/14/2013 6:48:44 AM >

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to breagha)

Post #: 37

RE: Alcohol at play parties? - 4/14/2013 6:40:45 AM

LizDeluxe

Posts: 687
Joined: 10/2/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FrostedFlake
Some folks handle themselves well, others poorly.

I have made that same observation at several play parties where not a drop of alcohol was present.

(in reply to FrostedFlake)

Post #: 38

RE: Alcohol at play parties? - 4/14/2013 6:42:55 AM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucifyre

First let me say...I am extremely biased against alcohol use. I grew up in a family littered with mean and stupid drunks and have seen the *instant asshole just add alcohol* quite a bit more than I should have had to.
I do agree that some folks have the ability to imbibe without it being a problem. They can self regulate and not overdo it responsibly. The trouble is however, like someone above said...once it has become a problem it's already too late.
I am in the "I will choose not to attend an event or a party if alcohol is available" camp. While I myself will rarely have a drink, I will not engage in any BDSM type activities if I have consumed anything that may impair me. I too am unable to tolerate people who are even a little bit tipsy. They don't think they're *that* drunk and to me the stupidity that ensues is extremely irritating. I can't even stand Mr when He has had a couple.

just my two cents

Luci

I do not understand this anti-alcohol high horse.
I love you Luci . . . but weren't the bars open at Beyond Leather?
Don't you go to leather bars?
Do you go to munches? Nearest you, the Orlando much is held at McWell's Pub.
Many if not most munches are all held where alcohol is served.
Many of the play parties are held at bars.

Avoiding alcohol would cut you out of most of the leather scene in Florida and you seem like far too much fun to miss out on all that just to uphold an old childhood promise or bias.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to Lucifyre)

Post #: 39

RE: Alcohol at play parties? - 4/14/2013 6:48:05 AM

Thaz

Posts: 617
Joined: 4/28/2012
Status: offline

BYOB at all the parties I've been to, anyone getting hammered _and still wanting to play_ wont be asked back.

I started of with 'I dont drink and play' mantra inherited from other places I hot people for fun. After a while I found that a drink or two helps loosen me up. Possibly three over a LONG event (for example we started 7pm yesterday and finished...oh 2 hours ago. I have perhaps 3 or 4 small glases of wine) In other words if I wouldnt be legal to drive I'm not going to play. Did anyone get drunk? Yes. Did said sub get put to bed and pilloried the next morning and promised major punishement in future by their owner? oh yes indeed.

Have I ever pushed it to far and made a mistake? Only in private play and although no harm was done its not something I will repeat...

(in reply to LizDeluxe)

Post #: 40

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 5 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Alcohol at play parties?

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 5 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.109