njlauren
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Joined: 10/1/2011
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
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ORIGINAL: njlauren
.............................I am not a big drinker, so the lack of alcohol wouldn't phase me, but I do think it has to come down to individual choice, the whole 'no alcohol' at play events as mantra or dogma kind of strikes me as Carrie Nationism, assuming no one can control it.
One of the commenters talked about the early leather days and how drinking went on there. I have over the years met some older guys who were part of the gay leather scene from those days, and the older 'old guard' leather community, and people who had been mentored by people from that time, and in part there is reason why the no alcohol rules came about I suspect, and it was because back in those days it was a lot more freewheeling, pre Cand a lot of other things, and things like drug use and heavy drinking were not unknown, and it led to people getting seriously hurt or killed (and these were not new age BD/SM people, I am talking people in the middle of it,from that time). It doesn't mean we shouldn't allow drinking at play parties, it simply means that rules don't come abut in many cases for no reason.
Bless you for mentioning Carrie. Although I disagree about whether the no alcohol mantra came before of after SSC and whether it came from the hetro or gay crowd. SSC itself was designed as a public service, an attempt to curb a particular group of predators that were haunting the gay leather scene posing as Tops/Doms and seriously injuring people. The intent didn't have a fucking thing to do with alcohol and the author David Stein never intended to create a credo. He says he never meant to see it "used to define something like articles of faith s/m newbies are expected to absorb turns my stomach, especially when the people doing the defining are the kind who do s/m at a very tame, low level of intensity and think that’s where the boundaries should be set for everyone." Anyway . . . it had to do with edge play and predators abusing edge play.
However, I agree that AIDS impacted getting drunk at leather bars and fucking strangers without condoms in the bathrooms. Although I seem to remember the focus being more on condoms than booze. Although you are correct, both came under scrutiny to some degree. As I recall, the gay leather message was "alcohol in moderation" not no alcohol. It was the fucking straight tourist wannbee ex-wino SSC flag wavers that said "no alcohol", not the gay crowd. At least that was the way I remember it from the mid-west and northeast scene (Chicago, Detroit, NYC) . . . also the way I so it go down on the net. So I do not think it was just me or something regional.
Fucking teetotalism and those SSC flag wavers would grind my short hairs if they weren't already trimmed. I'm not a drunken pervert and I am not bisexual anymore, but I will hang out in leather bars . . . gay leather bars that is. I don't even know if straight people have leather bars... never seen a hetro leather bar. I been to Kinks and other leather "clubs" with a BYOB license, but that's not a real bar. If "each one teach one" (ty LP) then teach them the truth, teach them right and tell it like it is.
Should you throw a bunch of whips, ropes, knives, surgical staplers and fire gear into a bar full of drunken tourists? Probably not.
Should you try to dictate the use of alcohol in a society who's forefather gave birth to it in the gays bars? Probably not.
There is balance and common sense in life, if you really think you need a nanny (ty MOS) or an SSC credo, you probably do and shouldn't play with the big boys.
In the mean time, I think the next time I do choose to have a drink, I am gonna' have my slave strain the ice off using an SSC flag as a filter.
I don't know for sure if earlier incidents with alcohol led to the mantra about no alcohol when playing. The stories I heard from guys in the gay leather scene (some of the guys in GMSMA I got to meet a long time ago),from my therapist who was a leather dyke and also quite friendly with a number of gay leather guys who stretched back into the late 60's, and there were stories about gay leather guys fucked up on alcohol and drugs and the resultant mayhem....just that they had things like guys playing out on the dunes of Fire Island and there being more then a few major accidents and death, where drugs and alcohol were part of it, or so I heard, when play got out of hand, fueled by those things. I can't claim personal experience on that, just that the sources I am talking about could know about those things *shrug*
I think the problem both with the no alcohol thing and the SSC thing is it gets turned into fundamentalism, as in 'thou shalt not drink' or 'thou shalt not do edge play' or whatever. SSC is supposed to be a concept, and idea, that you don't take stupid risks (the kind, sort of like playing russian roulette with 4 bullets in the gun kind of stupid), where you know the risks are so high that it is almost certainly going to lead to major problems (aka Darwin award level of stupid play....:). I think SSC as a concept for new people is great, I think a newbie doing edge play with another newbie would be Darwin award territory, but if the people doing it know the risks, are okay with it, that is up to them.
As far as there being straight leather bars, none that I know of. NYC has last i checked 1/2 of one, the Eagle in many ways is to me kind of like a cleaned up Times Square version of the real deal, and I am kind compared to what my gay leather friends used to say about it. Decent bar, but just not what it once was, I think Herr Giuiliani did a number on anything remotely out there.
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RE: Alcohol at play parties? - 
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