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RE: Donate or keep for play - 4/27/2013 10:26:07 AM   
Rawni


Posts: 1175
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Is it customary in the Leather crowd, to show such a blatant disregard for the feelings and memories of a slave that has served a dominant for many years and has given up much to do so? To the point of mentioning the dominant cried for fifteen minutes over the break up and then to use the forums… forums the slave does frequent, putting all that have watched the relationship throughout the years, smack dab in the middle of an attempt to figure out… a mind bending decision… of what to do with the collar? Really? That would be a tough decision.

Is this public humiliation? Is this a show of something or an attempt at making the slave feel uncomfortable or unwelcome?

Wow… thats some integrity right there. In my opinion of course.

My other opinion… give it (at cost of the repairs) to the slave that seems to value it and stuck around for the dungeon build despite the other issues that have been occurring since he changed his whole life to be there, even if it was his choice and he wanted it. Have a heart.

Before anyone climbs my ass.. Which I am sure I will get; this has been brought to the forums for years and if we are presenting examples for others… this might be a great way to show courtesy and respect for a m/s relationship, even if there is a nasty break up, no matter where any fault might lay. We were shown the respect and all the goodies involved and now we witness the uglies, again, with one party coming out more on top? Sad.

(in reply to littleclip)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Donate or keep for play - 4/27/2013 11:07:58 AM   
lizi


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Joined: 2/1/2009
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When I gave my answer, I wasn't assuming we knew the identities of the people involved since they weren't given.

(in reply to Rawni)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Donate or keep for play - 4/27/2013 11:09:58 AM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rawni

Is it customary in the Leather crowd, to show such a blatant disregard for the feelings and memories of a slave that has served a dominant for many years and has given up much to do so? To the point of mentioning the dominant cried for fifteen minutes over the break up and then to use the forums… forums the slave does frequent, putting all that have watched the relationship throughout the years, smack dab in the middle of an attempt to figure out… a mind bending decision… of what to do with the collar? Really? That would be a tough decision.

Is this public humiliation? Is this a show of something or an attempt at making the slave feel uncomfortable or unwelcome?

Wow… thats some integrity right there. In my opinion of course.

My other opinion… give it (at cost of the repairs) to the slave that seems to value it and stuck around for the dungeon build despite the other issues that have been occurring since he changed his whole life to be there, even if it was his choice and he wanted it. Have a heart.

Before anyone climbs my ass.. Which I am sure I will get; this has been brought to the forums for years and if we are presenting examples for others… this might be a great way to show courtesy and respect for a m/s relationship, even if there is a nasty break up, no matter where any fault might lay. We were shown the respect and all the goodies involved and now we witness the uglies, again, with one party coming out more on top? Sad.



Seconded.

I think attempting to talk about people as if it's anonymous, when that clearly isn't the case, is not in good taste. Especially not this close after the end of a relationship.

If you want to drag the relationship and break up details on the forums, then by all means do so, but this "I'm not saying anything but constantly dropping hints at the same time" doesn't come across... elegantly.

If you want a more neutral and distant discussion about concepts in something that approximates an anonymous way, you need to let more time go by before bringing stuff like this up... a lot more time.



< Message edited by UllrsIshtar -- 4/27/2013 11:27:15 AM >


_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
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And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
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RE: Donate or keep for play - 4/27/2013 11:16:34 AM   
littleclip


Posts: 869
Joined: 5/31/2012
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i bid $110 and any costs for shipping

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Donate or keep for play - 4/27/2013 11:18:02 AM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

When I gave my answer, I wasn't assuming we knew the identities of the people involved since they weren't given.


They were given.

She specifically mentioned that it was a collar she had on a slave ago a month ago, and that recently this person no longer earned the right to wear this collar. She also posted on "Ask a Mistress" that she recently broke up with clip.

Both people involved where very clearly identified, and there wasn't even an attempt made to conceal identities in any way.



_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Donate or keep for play - 4/27/2013 11:24:14 AM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
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Wow, I am kinda thick some days. I just figured this out, and I am sad.

LP, I am sad that one of the few female dommes that I had really grown fond of and changed my mind about so many things because of, has just shattered my opinion in one post by indicating that a relationship that has been ongoing since I arrived on these forums means nothing and causes no sentimental thoughts at all.

Clip for you I am saddened to see the pain you show by begging for that collar back, offering to pay money for it.

I have no idea what happened between the two of you and it may have been horrific but...

This should have stayed private. I have to say this has put a bad taste in my mouth for this forum, even more than the fake Canadian lesbians did.

Wow. Just wow.

eta I hope this thread stays here forever. As has been mentioned time and time again, the things you type on here remain forever and people will always be able to read them and know the real you.

< Message edited by JstAnotherSub -- 4/27/2013 11:26:00 AM >


_____________________________

yep

(in reply to littleclip)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Donate or keep for play - 4/27/2013 11:41:10 AM   
lizi


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Joined: 2/1/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

When I gave my answer, I wasn't assuming we knew the identities of the people involved since they weren't given.


They were given.

She specifically mentioned that it was a collar she had on a slave ago a month ago, and that recently this person no longer earned the right to wear this collar. She also posted on "Ask a Mistress" that she recently broke up with clip.

Both people involved where very clearly identified, and there wasn't even an attempt made to conceal identities in any way.




Yes, I saw those things, I still didn't assume the identity information was given, and that it was clip she was referring to. She's never struck me as lacking empathy, so I figured this collar was intended for someone else. I don't follow her around and know who is in her life at any given time, I just took her general information as being general, and not specific to him.

If this was a collar intended for clip then I'd think it was tacky and somewhat cruel to bring it out onto the boards this way, as it would seem to me to be a strike through the heart for him. I'll wait for further information, if it is forthcoming, before coming to any conclusions.

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Donate or keep for play - 4/27/2013 11:53:24 AM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

She's never struck me as lacking empathy, so I figured this collar was intended for someone else. I don't follow her around and know who is in her life at any given time, I just took her general information as being general, and not specific to him.



Even if the collar was intended for somebody, which I'm pretty sure it wasn't if you add up all the hints dropped in various posts, then that still leaves the fact that, considering what specifically was implied, it would be very normal for a large portion of the board to assume that it was regarding clip, even if that wasn't who she meant.

In that case, the tactful thing to do would have been to specifically point out that the slave in question wasn't clip, and some other, unspecified third party, to prevent the implied references from being taken the wrong way. Especially considering how fresh, raw, and emotionally charged this break up obviously still is.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Donate or keep for play - 4/27/2013 12:30:39 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
OK, folks. Simmer down. A few are jumping to conclusions and I'm going to say My piece.

Y'all are making some assumptions here that don't fit the situation. To start, I was specifically told the previous person wearing the collar was leaving the lifestyle and closing all net accounts related to it. This wasn't some kind of boobie trap for anyone to find. It was a "general BDSM" discussion topic in days where we are lacking in kink and dynamic related discussions. Or would you like to talk some more about porn and fakes?

This is flipping new for Me. I've never had apathy at the end of a dynamic. It's rather rare for Me to have apathy after any kind of emotional connection has been present. I'd love to tell you people that I'm crying in My scrambled eggs, but I'm really not and I'm most certainly not willing to fake that shit for anybody.

From what I see on the replies to this thread..... You..... All of you have had dynamics end. How many of you removed symbols from your life when it was over from disillusion or divorce?

Like it or not, think less of Me or not, those things are your right. It's still a kink related discussion no matter what you think of Me. I never blew smoke up your ass when everything was happiness and light. I'm not going to do it now just because I've turned the page and it's the dawning of a new day.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to JstAnotherSub)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Donate or keep for play - 4/27/2013 1:32:29 PM   
littleclip


Posts: 869
Joined: 5/31/2012
Status: offline
now offering $115

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Donate or keep for play - 4/27/2013 2:44:07 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleclip

now offering $115


Geeeezus mate, I see the face of a grown man....

How it works is that it's up to the vendor to initiate any auction proceedings, IF that's their wish.

For what it's worth and I posted as much, but I'd have offered it to my former sub as any symbol of attachment/enchantment/possession etc it and its sole wearer once had for me, the collar's owner, is gone for all time. Reduced to the status of a flat battery (the non rechargeable variety).

This bidding against yourself in an auction that doesn't exist is just creepy. A squigeon of personal pride and dignity make better memories....

Focus.


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Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to littleclip)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Donate or keep for play - 4/27/2013 3:41:34 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
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Give it back to the person who reworked it?

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One world under lube with vibrators and dildo's for all! quote from the sex toy 101 book

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Donate or keep for play - 4/27/2013 3:41:57 PM   
Marini


Posts: 3629
Joined: 2/14/2010
Status: offline
quote:

Wow. Just wow


I have to agree, this is how I feel about this thread.

I attempted to stay "out of this thread", after reading about the relationship of LP and clip for years on these boards.

I admit, I did find this thread, "odd".

But when clip started posting, and attempting to buy back his collar, it became just sad.

ResidentSadist ended a long term relationship, and I was very impressed with the way he and his former submissive, "publically" continued to speak very highly of each other, after they were no longer together.

I had a regular poster start a very nasty thread about me a few years ago, and it left a bad taste in my mouth, I try to avoid becoming involved with men that post on the message boards/or even men that are "public players".

It is what it is, I guess.


< Message edited by Marini -- 4/27/2013 3:49:53 PM >


_____________________________

As always, To EACH their Own.
"And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. "
Nelson Mandela
Life-long Democrat, not happy at all with Democratic Party.
NOT a Republican/Moderate and free agent

(in reply to JstAnotherSub)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Donate or keep for play - 4/27/2013 3:45:40 PM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littleclip

now offering $115


As much as I feel that, and have earlier spoke out on the fact that I feel that, LP could have handled this situations better, I must say...

I consider a slave's behavior and their presentation to the world at large to be a direct reflection of their owner, their owner's character and their owner's standards.

With that being the case, LP, I consider it to be to your credit that we've never seen clip behave this way when he was still under your control.




< Message edited by UllrsIshtar -- 4/27/2013 3:54:14 PM >


_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to littleclip)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Donate or keep for play - 4/27/2013 5:14:42 PM   
littleclip


Posts: 869
Joined: 5/31/2012
Status: offline
consider the money as paying not to donate it $125

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Donate or keep for play - 4/27/2013 5:32:41 PM   
Rawni


Posts: 1175
Status: offline
Hey, clip... every time you all break up, you go off in post or journals and threads are started and the stupid high school drama starts. Then you get back together after accusations have been made on both sides, claiming somebodies medication has been messed up. Only to continue once again. Go take a bath, tie your hands if you have to, but knock it off. Any respect any of us had is quickly subsiding. You bait her. She baits you and knows even if you said you wouldn't be here, that every pattern of the past proves you would be.

Fact is and you most likely know it. You aren't getting that collar back. You will not sway us or her I am sure.

You two want to go at it, don't do it involving the people that have cared and prayed for you and thanked you for your service, etc.

WE don't deserve the drama and if you all keep thinking with your weak excuses of this is good bdsm topic in a land of threads of fakes and porn... and deflecting and Jerry Springerizing... then go for it, but the members of this forum may have a few more things to say. So then it goes the way of pulled threads. Which could be the agenda, I don't know.

But really, nobody is looking good here.

(in reply to littleclip)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Donate or keep for play - 4/27/2013 5:54:57 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
I would say sell it to, or give it back to him, if in fact you are not emotionally attached to this collar LadyPact.

Clip, stop posting on this thread, and keep some diginity about yourself. M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 4/27/2013 5:55:37 PM >


_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to Rawni)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Donate or keep for play - 4/27/2013 6:14:55 PM   
seekingOwnertoo


Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact



I am fully against saving it for the *next* dynamic. That's just outright tacky to Me. It's not some kind of heirloom. It's also not a keepsake. I'm not sticking it in a box somewhere or wanting to preserve it in relation to positive memories. It's just not that to Me, so those options are out.

I've come to two thoughts on the matter. One is to donate it to some fund raising cause or another. Since it's been properly restored, it could absolutely find a fitting situation at auction for charity. It most certainly does have monetary value.





Myself, I would donate it to charity ... or else pitch it.

I always toss things with emotional attachment, once the fire is gone. Because most don't have monetary value, anyway.

It sounds though, like that collar ... might be worth something to a developing M/s .. so why not gift it to charity? And allow others to enjoy its beauty?

If You do, get and keep any receipt, then write it off on Your taxes.

ROFL when I thought of the tax write off part ... I got excited!

In the end LP, You will do what You wish, personally ... and that IS the right decision.

Good luck.


(Heck .. given the bids thus far ... I will go $150 )






< Message edited by seekingOwnertoo -- 4/27/2013 6:19:18 PM >

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Donate or keep for play - 4/27/2013 6:41:54 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

When I gave my answer, I wasn't assuming we knew the identities of the people involved since they weren't given.


They were given.

She specifically mentioned that it was a collar she had on a slave ago a month ago, and that recently this person no longer earned the right to wear this collar. She also posted on "Ask a Mistress" that she recently broke up with clip.

Both people involved where very clearly identified, and there wasn't even an attempt made to conceal identities in any way.




I haven't been online as much anymore so I wasn't aware it was clip. I thought it was one of the slaves she has owned before or played with on a regular basis.

Ok, if we're talking about clip....hhhmmm...I think my answer may change. Personally, it seems as though clip has made his decision clear on what should be done with it...sell it and give the money to a charity. If you don't want to, maybe give it back to the person who put the work into it and they could sell it and give the money to charity or to clip who would do the same thing with it.

Sorry to hear about the break-up though. Hope you both can have a smooth move on from all of this and hope you can keep it out of the forums after this.


ETA: I think this whole post just goes to prove what I've always said. You can't really get to know a person just from online no matter how much you may think that you do.


< Message edited by littlewonder -- 4/27/2013 6:52:42 PM >


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Donate or keep for play - 4/27/2013 7:48:25 PM   
littleclip


Posts: 869
Joined: 5/31/2012
Status: offline
electronic funds transfer initiated $125 will be available to your acct within 24hrs

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 60
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