Ick factor with toys?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Ick factor with toys?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Ick factor with toys?

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Ick factor with toys? - 4/29/2013 11:48:21 AM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

So how multiple person are your toys. Are some used on multiple people are some very individualistic and personal? Where is your line of what toys are only used on one as to used on more than one?

Obviously this is geared to those that play with two or more or have such intention to do so.

So where is the line of your ick factor with regards to toys?

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

Post #: 1

RE: Ick factor with toys? - 4/29/2013 11:54:02 AM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

Well, I haven't played in a while, but when I bottomed, the toys were mine, and only used on me. Even now, searching for a relationship, toys will belong to the individual who will have them inserted, receive impact, wear, etc.

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 2

RE: Ick factor with toys? - 4/29/2013 12:00:17 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

I don't like to share my insertable toys, even with people with whom I share fluids.

I don't mind sharing my floggers with people who aren't going to get them wet.

_____________________________

Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 3

RE: Ick factor with toys? - 4/29/2013 12:00:48 PM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

I don't share anything that can't be washed/disinfected with anybody I'm not fluid bonded with.

There are only very few instances where I will accept sharing leather objects that have been used with or on other people I didn't know, in situations I was unaware of, and then only for very specific and light play.

I don't share certain of my insertables with anybody, not even people I'm fluid bonded with.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

Post #: 4

RE: Ick factor with toys? - 4/29/2013 12:25:32 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

Seeing how this thread may have been inspired by the collar thread especially here, I will add that even though my collar is just for play as opposed to protocol, I'm not comfortable sharing it with random people. Not an ick thing, but a symbolism thing, although the symbolic value in my case is comparatively low.

I wouldn't want my Dom to use a collar with me that had been used with his previous sub, but wouldn't object if he picked up a second hand collar at a charity auction.

If he'd given an engagement ring to someone and she'd returned it, I wouldn't want it, but would not object to one that was second hand from some third (fourth?) party.

_____________________________

Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 5

RE: Ick factor with toys? - 4/29/2013 12:35:16 PM

needlesandpins

Posts: 3901
Status: offline

i wouldn't want anything i use with my playmate to be used with another. there are items that have been bought while we have been seeing each other, and regardless of 'ownership' i'd be gutted if someone else used them.

certain preowned things such as cuffs are fine, but i would not have something insertable that had been used on another used on me.

needles

_____________________________

I deserved better. Not than you, but from you.

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 6

RE: Ick factor with toys? - 4/29/2013 12:52:47 PM

Spiritedsub2

Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline

Fast reply

Both the ick factor and the symbolism matter to me. I own the toys used on me, and for anything I don't own, it has to be new. Only exception is for things that don't directly touch me, like a spreader bar to which cuffs attach. But the cuffs have to be mine or new.

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to needlesandpins)

Post #: 7

RE: Ick factor with toys? - 4/29/2013 1:04:44 PM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

Kana don't like to intermingle. Fluid bonds rule for this guy. Not just insertables, but pretty much everything toy-wise

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)

Post #: 8

RE: Ick factor with toys? - 4/29/2013 1:07:41 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Thank you for starting this thread. I'm really curious to see how this comes out. Especially if there is a significant difference between women and men (which I suspect it will) and tops and bottoms as well. With that in mind, I'm going to specify that I'm a female top and I don't do any bottoming.

I don't have an ick factor about leather items or impact toys being used on multiple people. Floggers, canes, crops, paddles....... I can clean all of that stuff.

Violet wand. I'm not dropping that kind of money to buy another one. The one we have is the one that is used on everyone who wants to engage in electrical play.

Sharps (needles, scalpels, etc) I prefer to be single use. Yes, they can be cleaned, but really, it's just more convenient to buy another box than to go through the hassle. So few people actually own an autoclave, anyway.

Wax. If it's been on another person's body, throw it out. It's cheap.

Cuffs and play collars. Bottom's choice. If the ick factor bothers you, I'd suggest that you buy your own for play. I don't think it's a reasonable expectation that the play collar that a top has in their toy bag is brand new and nobody else has ever worn it. If I'm casually topping at a club or play party, I can guarantee that I didn't buy it just for you.

Blindfolds and gags. Pretty much the same. Yes, you can clean those too but if I was thinking of it in the reverse, I doubt I'd want a ball gag that's been in other people's mouths.

Sexually linked insertables. Dildos, vibes, strap-ons, (that's harness and no harness) and anything that's been in another person's vagina, rectum, or urethra, if it's a material toy, that's single person use. Yeah, you're going to clean those items too but there is just something really funky about that. It always surprises Me when males are willing to purchase and wear used cock cages. It's very rare that I see women who are willing to wear something, play with an item, that's been used on another woman in a sexual way unless it's a flesh and blood penis.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 9

RE: Ick factor with toys? - 4/29/2013 2:44:12 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

I guess I should answer my own question....

For me it's rather simple... Fluid bonding is king! If we are fluid bonded! Then All toys are potential use with various partners. Hell my cock has been known to make the rounds in a night... I really would hate to have to disinfect the big guy after each use! That could hinder the fun! If I am sharing that then I see no issues with any other toys.

But, if we are not fluid bonded! The Bottom better have there own toys that can't be properly cleaned and disinfected at a minimum. I don't use leather or explicate sexual toys outside my fluid bonded family.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 10

RE: Ick factor with toys? - 4/29/2013 2:58:54 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

I am pretty much in agreement with your list, particularly with the insertables. Insertables should be owned by the user, imo, you wear it you take it. I had to laugh out loud when I read the line below... LOL funny how people will not use a toy that may or may not have been used with a condom, That was probably cleaned with a disinfectant, but they will suck down that penis and who knows how many holes it has visited.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Sexually linked insertables. Dildos, vibes, strap-ons

It's very rare that I see women who are willing to wear something, play with an item, that's been used on another woman in a sexual way unless it's a flesh and blood penis.

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 11

RE: Ick factor with toys? - 4/29/2013 3:36:22 PM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

So how multiple person are your toys. Are some used on multiple people are some very individualistic and personal? Where is your line of what toys are only used on one as to used on more than one?

Obviously this is geared to those that play with two or more or have such intention to do so.

So where is the line of your ick factor with regards to toys?

I don't recycle insertibles for starters. That's an "ick" factor even for me.... lol

Same for anything personally symbolic like leather cuffs and collar. And thanks to the Chinese, once relatively expensive ropes get tossed for someone new, too.

Bigger toys that took time and perseverance to perfect myself, yep, I re-use them. Of course they get a thorough clean-up by me before again becoming the girl's responsibility to maintain. And being the inventive/creative type re building toys, there's bound to be something where the new girl gets to be the "test pilot" anyway.

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 12

RE: Ick factor with toys? - 4/29/2013 4:48:18 PM

Kaliko

Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline

Damn, do I feel vanilla right now.

I don't play or have multiple partners, but anything I have owned in the past that I've used with someone else gets discarded when that relationship is over. Everything. Probably more for sentimental (that may not be quite the correct word) reasons than hygienic. Either way, there is an ick factor, definitely.

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 13

RE: Ick factor with toys? - 4/29/2013 5:02:26 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

Personally, if it's been used on someone else, I don't want it used on me. I don't care if you can boil it or clean it in some way. It still squicks me out. It's not just the clean issue but for me I don't want those reminders of who else he has been with, or if he may attach some kind of memory of it from someone else he was with. Then there's just that vibe of the other person who it was used on before.

ETA: As for his cock, I can hope that he used a condom unless he was in a long term relationship which I'm sure he was. At that point, there's nothing I can do. It's just one of those things you have to accept. I can't remove it and buy a new one.

< Message edited by littlewonder -- 4/29/2013 5:07:09 PM >

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 14

RE: Ick factor with toys? - 4/29/2013 5:39:49 PM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

I'm kinda weird, I think.

I have glass insertables which can be disinfected, so I don't really care if they're used on others.

I also don't care much about canes, floggers, paddles being used on others.

The Mister has a set of cuffs, some bondage rope, etc. I have no idea if they were new when he met me or used on his ex. And I don't care. I've never given it much thought, actually.

For the most part, though, we've bought a lot of new toys together, and we've only played with someone else once. He had some paddles coming into the relationship, and it never bothered me that they were used on his ex. I had a lot of floggers, paddles, etc., from my previous relationship, and it doesn't bother him that someone else used them on me. We're just "in the present" I suppose, and not bugged.

I do remember with the ex dude, I knew he used certain things on other girls who were unknown to me. I remember him cuffing me and binding me and I looked at the cuffs on my wrists and pictured them on someone else's wrists and it bothered me (but then a lot of things bothered me in that relationship). I also sensed he used the ball gag on others, too, and that totally grossed me out. So I bought a "me only" gag and asked that he only use that one on me, and he was ok with that.

Collars, even play collars, have been purchased solely for me. I think we'd both be a little "Uh, no thank you" about putting them on anyone else.

If we were fluid bonded with another, I can't see myself having an issue with insertables. As mentioned above, if his cock is going into another I'm not going to ask him to sterilize it before putting it in me (I'd probably just suck it clean, anyway). But I'm more comfy with non porous glass insertables.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 15

RE: Ick factor with toys? - 4/29/2013 5:50:46 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

Insertables - used on on person only, that includes strap-on "attachments."
The strap-on harness - used with multiple people, laundered between uses.
Floggers - I do not draw blood or use on privates, so I use with multiple people.
Riding crop - same, and I clean and use with multiple people.
Rope - I launder between people but, still, if it touches privates it's only used on one person.
Fabric play collars & leashes - multiple people, but I wash it in-between uses.
Leather cuffs - multiple people, and I clean in-between uses.
Ball gag - multiple people ONLY after boiling the ball between uses and cleaning the rest of the gag too.
Blindfold - fabric, so I launder it between uses.
Spanking implements - multiple people, but I clean/sanitize between uses.
Anal beads - used with only one person, even though they're silicone and boilable.
Feathers - one person only.
Fur - one person only.
Claws - multiple people and clean and sanitize between uses.
Plastic wrap - single use obviously.
Bondage tape - also single use of course.
Vet wrap - ditto.

If I were to ever collar someone, and that wouldn't be done lightly, I would get/make a brand-new collar for him. If that relationship ended, I would not use it again on someone else.

NBMG

< Message edited by NiceButMeanGirl -- 4/29/2013 5:53:44 PM >

_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 16

RE: Ick factor with toys? - 4/29/2013 5:56:38 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

For me, anytime I ended a relationship, I got rid of all the toys. I never wanted the memories attached to them, even with the insertables. I have always started over clean and from scratch with anyone I got involved with no matter how expensive the toys were. I also got rid of absolutely everything that ever had anything to do with past memories; jewelry, trinkets, clothes, whatever. I wanted no reminders whatsoever. I want to be able to start over with a clean slate with only the memories of not making the same mistakes again. Even after my husband died, the only things I kept were those things I needed to keep such as records and stuff I wanted to give to my daughter as she grew up. Otherwise I felt no need to hang onto the stuff.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)

Post #: 17

RE: Ick factor with toys? - 4/29/2013 6:05:10 PM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

For me, anytime I ended a relationship, I got rid of all the toys. I never wanted the memories attached to them, even with the insertables. I have always started over clean and from scratch with anyone I got involved with no matter how expensive the toys were. I also got rid of absolutely everything that ever had anything to do with past memories; jewelry, trinkets, clothes, whatever. I wanted no reminders whatsoever. I want to be able to start over with a clean slate with only the memories of not making the same mistakes again. Even after my husband died, the only things I kept were those things I needed to keep such as records and stuff I wanted to give to my daughter as she grew up. Otherwise I felt no need to hang onto the stuff.

The ex dude left a bag of hundreds and hundreds of dollars worth of toy with me, and never came back for them. There were some kick-ass toys in that bag, so I kept them. I didn't know how I'd feel about them later, so I just kept them stored for a long time. Then one day I took out each toy, one by one, and tossed the ones I always hated, and kept the ones I actually liked.

On another day, I laid them all out for the Mister, and he picked out the ones he wanted to try out. I asked if he cared they were once the ex's and he said not really.

Oddly enough, I don't think of the ex or my mistake in being with him when those toys are used on me now. That relationship is so over, and I'm not the same person now that I was then, so there is no negativity around those toys for me. If I think about anything, it's how they're going to feel used on me in that very moment (sometimes this makes me happy, sometimes there's some dreaded anticipation lol).

Although I'll confess there's this one black & red leather flogger that was always my favorite - it just feels so damn awesome (therapeutically relaxing, actually) and a couple weeks ago the Mister pulled it out to use it on me, and I grinned. Not just because I was excited to experience it, but because it made me laugh to think how happy I am now, and how much MORE I enjoy it now...than back then. That reaction surprised me, and actually cracked me up.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 18

RE: Ick factor with toys? - 4/29/2013 6:22:27 PM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

For me, anytime I ended a relationship, I got rid of all the toys. I never wanted the memories attached to them, even with the insertables.

I feel the same way about relationship specific toys, but I also play causally, and have my own set of toys I've amassed for that over the years which don't get discarded between relationships because they're not tied to anybody specifically but me.

If something holds strong memories of a specific partner or even though, I feel the same way and get rid of them after that relationship is over.

< Message edited by UllrsIshtar -- 4/29/2013 6:23:02 PM >

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 19

RE: Ick factor with toys? - 4/29/2013 6:38:41 PM

ExquisiteStings

Posts: 391
Joined: 4/10/2007
Status: offline

To littlewonder,
I like that word you used ; "squick". Is that a combo of squeamish and ick?

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Ick factor with toys?

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094