Do you ever worry about.. corrupting someone?

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Do you ever worry about.. corrupting someone? - 5/8/2013 1:15:39 AM

kaimorea

Posts: 3
Joined: 5/8/2013
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Thus might be a weird question and way to deep since I don't know anyone here but here goes. I have some dark desires, and I'm pretty sure they stem from my screwed up childhood. And when I tell my bf these desires hes always up for trying them. But he never tells me he has any dark fantasies. Am I hurting him by having him spank me and tie me up if he wouldn't be into that if I hadn't brought it up?

_____________________________

I love him because he is sweet and kind and oh fuck it.
He spanks me.
He spanks me good.

Post #: 1

RE: Do you ever worry about.. corrupting someone? - 5/8/2013 2:09:43 AM

FormerlyFurr

Posts: 2
Joined: 8/11/2011
Status: offline

Are you enjoying it? Is he? If the answer to both questions is yes, go for it.

(in reply to kaimorea)

Post #: 2

RE: Do you ever worry about.. corrupting someone? - 5/8/2013 2:51:01 AM

Ravensnake

Posts: 146
Joined: 8/17/2008
Status: offline

If you both get something out of it, you're not corrupting him, just taking him out of his comfort zone.

Some guys need to be 'corrupted' and for their partner to instigate scenes.

Go for it, have fun and dont feel guilty

_____________________________

Dont rattle your sabres at me as an introduction. Be polite and I'll respond in kind.

(in reply to FormerlyFurr)

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RE: Do you ever worry about.. corrupting someone? - 5/8/2013 3:22:09 AM

littleclip

Posts: 869
Joined: 5/31/2012
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the best way is to just ask him and if he is ok then rock on

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currently owned by LadyAthena15805
i will always come to the call of those i love

(in reply to Ravensnake)

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RE: Do you ever worry about.. corrupting someone? - 5/8/2013 3:27:15 AM

cleanswell

Posts: 1
Joined: 5/3/2013
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I'd like someone to corrupt me....

(in reply to kaimorea)

Post #: 5

RE: Do you ever worry about.. corrupting someone? - 5/8/2013 3:35:55 AM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

I wouldn't worry about it. Some people don't have fantasies, I don't. I never have. I'm fine with it, how can I miss what I've never had? I mean, certain things appeal to me, and I like them in the bedroom and vice versa, but I've never had any scripts running through my head, or deep desires that I ponder.

(in reply to kaimorea)

Post #: 6

RE: Do you ever worry about.. corrupting someone? - 5/8/2013 3:58:14 AM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

Corrupting implies evil - and what i do isn't evil - its fun, and sexy, and consential.

If you are holding a gun to your boyfriends head and making him tie you up and beat you, then yes, maybe you are evil. If not, then not so much on the evil.

What we do is normal sexual human behaviour, abet a bit unusual according to the girl next door. Not bad, not evil, not corrupting, not even a little naughty.

Well, maybe a little naughty, but nothing that you need to go to confession about.

(in reply to lizi)

Post #: 7

RE: Do you ever worry about.. corrupting someone? - 5/8/2013 5:06:21 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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You let him know what it takes in a relationship to make you happy. He decided to do it. And from your account, he enjoys it.

No losers.

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"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to kiwisub12)

Post #: 8

RE: Do you ever worry about.. corrupting someone? - 5/8/2013 5:56:20 AM

chatterbox24

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Joined: 1/22/2012
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I have never had fantasies either, and depending on what another person's fantasy is, I was perfectly happy to be included in theirs. Being part of the dream, being part of making it true felt good, it didn't feel a bit like I was being corrupted. On the contrary.

_____________________________

I am like a box of chocolates, you never know what variety you are going to get on any given day.

My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 9

RE: Do you ever worry about.. corrupting someone? - 5/8/2013 6:25:52 AM

SpanishMatMaster

Posts: 967
Joined: 9/28/2011
Status: offline

I have corrupted more than one girl. And some women too. So... what can I say? Never worried me.

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Humanist (therefore Atheist), intelligent, cultivated and very humble :)
If I don't answer you, maybe I "hid" you: PM me if you want.
“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, pause and reflect.” (Mark Twain)

(in reply to kaimorea)

Post #: 10

RE: Do you ever worry about.. corrupting someone? - 5/8/2013 6:42:26 AM

theshytype

Posts: 1600
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

I have never had fantasies either, and depending on what another person's fantasy is, I was perfectly happy to be included in theirs. Being part of the dream, being part of making it true felt good, it didn't feel a bit like I was being corrupted. On the contrary.

Never? Wow. I always just assumed everyone had them to some degree.

It took me some doing to get my husbands fantasies out. He always stated he didn't have them. So, I shared mine. We followed through with the more tame ones, the ones he would do, in hopes to open him up a bit more. He eventually did.
I didn't corrupt him. That would imply we were doing something wrong - we're not. My husband enjoys being part of my fantasies. He's the one that gets to make them become reality. We love doing that for each other.

(in reply to chatterbox24)

Post #: 11

RE: Do you ever worry about.. corrupting someone? - 5/8/2013 7:16:15 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kaimorea
Thus might be a weird question and way to deep since I don't know anyone here but here goes. I have some dark desires, and I'm pretty sure they stem from my screwed up childhood. And when I tell my bf these desires hes always up for trying them. But he never tells me he has any dark fantasies. Am I hurting him by having him spank me and tie me up if he wouldn't be into that if I hadn't brought it up?

The question in your title and the question in your OP are not the same one. My answers for them are (maybe) different.

1. No, I never worry about corrupting someone. I actually rather enjoy corrupting women -- where, by corrupting, I mean helping them realize fantasies for the first time, maybe even fantasies they didn't know they had until they allowed their minds to think in a particular direction. It's like a mental virgin fetish.

2. If you are uncomfortable about your own situation, could it be because your kink is not motivated from a place of health? Or maybe your kink is fine, and you're sexually contradicted, the way some gay men dislike their sexuality because of how they were raised. Something inside you is telling you, "This is wrong," but I don't know what it is. Maybe it's because what you're doing really is wrong for you or for him, or maybe you're just self-sabotaging. So my advice to you is to figure out which one it is. Best of luck.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to kaimorea)

Post #: 12

RE: Do you ever worry about.. corrupting someone? - 5/8/2013 8:10:45 AM

Rasciallymisty

Posts: 5749
Joined: 4/16/2012
Status: offline

I say if it works then I would think he does not mind. Have you asked him if he has any dark fantasies and if he minds doing what you ask of him?? Maybe have a sit down and talk with him and see how he feels.

kar

(in reply to kaimorea)

Post #: 13

RE: Do you ever worry about.. corrupting someone? - 5/8/2013 8:23:59 AM

chatterbox24

Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline

Maybe never was a strong word, about having fantasies. I knew I liked men to be stronger, aggressive, and always had visions of bedroom scenes of that happening, but that seemed more of a preference then a fantasy to me. Just seems I was always playing a role in someone elses.

_____________________________

I am like a box of chocolates, you never know what variety you are going to get on any given day.

My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 14

RE: Do you ever worry about.. corrupting someone? - 5/8/2013 8:24:51 AM

SeekingTrinity

Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline

~FRing it~

I think it really depends on how you see the word "corruption" when you apply it to your boyfriend. To me, it doesnt sound like he's feeling corrupted at all. He sounds like a willing participant. Corruption tends to carry a negative connotation. I personally enjoy being a little bit on the corrupted side myself

It's totally okay to have dark fantasies...and it's a great feeling when you have a partner you can share those fantasies with. And it's over the moon awesome when they are open minded to the idea of helping you satisfy them.

I do like what Red Magic said ^^^

Over the years I've been doing this, I've run into some who are able to use BDSM as a healthy outlet for overcoming bad experiences from the past. I've also unfortunately seen some use it as a means of continuing the victimization pattern they may have established internally from prior bad past experiences. Which are you? Only you can decide if this pertains to you or not. I'm only saying this because you mentioned you are pretty sure your desires stem from a screwed up childhood.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 15

RE: Do you ever worry about.. corrupting someone? - 5/8/2013 8:30:33 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Firstly, I am not conflicted sexually. Therefore I do not think my desires are dark or corrupted. If you do, then I suggest you work on that problem first.

Secondly, I accept that I am not going to be compatible with everyone out there and therefore to better insure sexual compatibility I need to talk about my likes and dislikes prior to having sex. Since making someone think you love what they do in bed and then springing on them suddenly the fact that you are not satisfied is a nasty thing to do to an innocent person who did nothing wrong.

Thirdly, you need to sit down over coffee while fully dressed and talk to him. Tell him you have some fantasies you have never felt safe sharing and you need him not to attack you if he doesn't share them but to simply explain that he is not interested in that. Then tell him what you want. Ask for simple things, don't overwhelm him when he's not knowledgeable. Just say you would really like him to spank you, or you spank him.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to SeekingTrinity)

Post #: 16

RE: Do you ever worry about.. corrupting someone? - 5/8/2013 8:45:27 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

You've gotten some good advice.

Your BF may not be in a place where he feels comfortable about talking about his fantasies.

I am going to recommend a book: When Someone You Love is Kinky

It may help your situation.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 17

RE: Do you ever worry about.. corrupting someone? - 5/8/2013 8:48:52 AM

MasterCaneman

Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline

Short answer: not in the least. If she's curious and willing, I have no quandary about introducing someone to the scene. That said, there were a couple good suggestions made. I'll follow up by saying to check out Resident Sadist's book list. Find one of his postings, it's at the bottom.

_____________________________

Age and treachery will always overcome youth and ambition.

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. ~ Sun Tzu

Goddess Wrangler

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 18

RE: Do you ever worry about.. corrupting someone? - 5/8/2013 9:03:37 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

I've heard more than one female say she didn't have fantasies. Then I ask what she thought about when she masturbated. Honey. that's your fantasy.

If you can't answer the question of what your fantasies are, at least for yourself, it's my opinion some self exploration is in order.

As for corrupting someone, of course I don't *worry* about it, that's the part I *like* - from both sides of the kneel.

_____________________________

(in reply to chatterbox24)

Post #: 19

RE: Do you ever worry about.. corrupting someone? - 5/8/2013 9:27:51 AM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

I don't think about anything or anyone when I masturbate, I just feel like doing it and then get the job done. I really don't fantasize, I never have. If I'm in a relationship, I think of the person I'm with and what we have done- that's as much fantasizing as I do- replaying the times we are intimate. Mostly it never goes back past the last time we were in bed. Once that person is out of my life, so are the thoughts of sex with them. It's like I don't remember that anymore. I don't do it on purpose, it just vanishes. I mean I can remember sex with them, but it loses any emotional input and isn't hawt anymore so therefore I don't waste time remembering it.

Things appeal to me and I'm enthusiastic about sex in general...if something to do in the bedroom is suggested to me I can say that sounds like fun, or not. I know what I like and what I don't like. I don't really need any self-exploration to figure any of that out.

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

Post #: 20

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