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ORIGINAL: MarineKitten

Do people who buy the services of pros know how to keep themselves safe, and spot possible frauds? Is it common knowledge? I haven't really heard anything about it.

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ORIGINAL: MarineKitten

Do people who buy the services of pros know how to keep themselves safe, and spot possible frauds?

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Is it common knowledge? I haven't really heard anything about it.

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ORIGINAL: njlauren

I played professionally long before I ever got into it lifestyle. I tended to play at pro houses, rather than independent dominas, which makes it a bit different, in that it is an established business and they tend to handle things very professionally. With independent dommes, I generally found them by referral from people I knew that were clients, there also are some websites that people use to review dommes, which aren't perfect but they do give an idea. If someone has been in the profession for a while, that is a good sign, someone who just 'pops up' probably needs more vetting. When I visited independents the first thing I noted was if they asked questions of me, asked about limits, asked about experience, and most importantly, insisted I come up with a safeword (pro that doesn't is suspect as hell IMO, if you don't know them, and even if you do, still think it is important unless you know them really well and have played with them. They should also ask about health issues, like back or knee problems or other things that might have an impact. Usually, the good ones also talked about what they would or wouldn't do and what they expected from the client, too. The good ones asked really probing questions, and then built the scene based on that, rather than a laundry list "I want this, I want that":).

In terms of safety, I cannot think of a session I had all those years where I felt it was an issue, and I did some pretty heavy scenes. I did have some go beyond stated limits, not safety, but for example, not leaving lasting marks or other obvious things, but that does happen, it can happen accidentally. One of the reasons is I tended to play with those who had been around a while in NYC, or had moved from elsewhere where there was a track record. At one point there were a rash of young gals hanging out a shingle as dommes who did fit the hooker with a whip kind of thing, but they didn't last long, and the ones who did it after they got hyped up after Madonna's "Sex" nonsense, and wanted to try it, generally didn't last long, either:).

It is like any service, if you know others who have used the person, that means a lot, and these days with the internet it may be a lot easier to find out if scam artists are around. I think the most dubious path is Craig's list, if a domina pays for an add in DDI or similar things, it says a lot about her business, posting an ad on Craigslist is free, and doesn't say anything and is more likely to be a scam or someone who doesn't know what they are doing.

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I tended to play at pro houses, rather than independent dominas, which makes it a bit different, in that it is an established business and they tend to handle things very professionally.

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ORIGINAL: SlaveSubtoserve

word to the wise, be careful of the young independent who may be new and just learning things and whose ambitions may exceed her experience and competence, and might inadvertently use you as a bit of a guinea pig to try new things out~

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ORIGINAL: SlaveSubtoserve

word to the wise, be careful of the young independent who may be new and just learning things and whose ambitions may exceed her experience and competence, and might inadvertently use you as a bit of a guinea pig to try new things out~

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ORIGINAL: SlaveSubtoserve


@LilSquaw, your point is well taken as such carelessness and ill-informed risky behavior oc can be and no doubt is done by all age groups of Dommes depending .......just that my personal somewhat bad experience in that vein was with an eager new young one.

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ORIGINAL: MissToYouRedux

With submissive applicants who have gone to pros, I'm always interested in the how and especially the *why* they selected that particular pro out of the myriad ones available.

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ORIGINAL: MistressLdyAngel

for example.. if you have a Domme come to you at your house... if she tells you that she needs to go out to her car to get a bag or check in with her driver.. make sure that the money stays inside with you.. otherwise she probably isn't coming back

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ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo

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ORIGINAL: MistressLdyAngel

for example.. if you have a Domme come to you at your house... if she tells you that she needs to go out to her car to get a bag or check in with her driver.. make sure that the money stays inside with you.. otherwise she probably isn't coming back

This should be your biggest fear with a "Pro" ... ROFL

That can happen, a LOT!

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ORIGINAL: TheLilSquaw

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ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo

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ORIGINAL: MistressLdyAngel

for example.. if you have a Domme come to you at your house... if she tells you that she needs to go out to her car to get a bag or check in with her driver.. make sure that the money stays inside with you.. otherwise she probably isn't coming back

This should be your biggest fear with a "Pro" ... ROFL

That can happen, a LOT!

I've been working as a pro for years both in dungeons and an independent and I have NEVER known an established pro dom/me, switch or sub do this. I have known escorts w/ whips who do this but eh... that is comparing apples and kale.

I have personally known pros who made the mistake of not getting paid for the session up front and the client walking out w/o paying.

I have also known more clients waste a pros time with booking a session and not showing. Which is why many require deposits.

So please stop trying to make pros out to the villains.