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FunCouple5280 -> RE: Is rape about power? (5/21/2013 2:52:12 PM)
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FR~
After reading 80+% of the posts, it seems there is little consensus on the motives and reasons for rape. However, Baroana may have said best comparing them to snowflakes. So, I feel the need to interject my opinion. [:D]
Sorry, this is long, but I started typing and just couldn't stop...
Part 1: Rape comparisons
I don't think you can compare rape between two nations accurately. It is absurd to believe various nations in the Middle East have low rape rates, as it is basically impossible to convict male rapists and all kinds of marital sexual assault are basically legal. The US may seem to have a lower rape rate, than say Norway, but the reporting and conviction rate in the US is criminally low. Also, some nations have extremely strict definitions of rape including virtually any unwanted sexual advances of a physical nature. There is a lack of legal consistency and enforcement that really skews our understanding of the problem form location to location.
Part 2: Types of rapists as I see them:
1: Sexual predators: I think this would be the classic 'power' rapist. As others hear have pointed out some rapists are attractive and able to acquire consensual sexual partners, yet rape anyway. These are likely individuals who really get off on the power. Whether it is to compensate for something or a sexual power fetish they may have, they feel empowered or get off on the power. They are probably the type to rape many different victims over their career.
2: The perverted: I see this as two part group. The first being the sexually abused. These people had their morality warped by previous abuse and are likely abusers themselves, either to regain the power they feel they have lost or because they may actually feel that sex follows this type of relationship pattern. The second being those that may rape underage family members. This may not be about power as it is a sick fetish or obsession. An individual who is sexually attracted to a six year old can never have consensual sex and therefore rapes to fulfill that desire. I see that as more of a mental disease than a need for power. This is not to say that there aren't those that prey on the young for power, just that there are those who may need therapy.
3: The casual rapist: Another 'power' rapist. Someone who does have somewhat regular consensual sex. Yet, they may still commit non-violent rape. Someone who doesn't take rejection well, and may want to regain that power by committing to the 'score.' I think back to when I bounced at a bar. We must have prevented at least 5 of these rapes every Saturday night. The classic example was a guy got sorta rejected by a girl, felt butt-hurt, but didn't get too pushy or violent. He would turn up the charm, buy her some drinks to 'apologize,' and proceed to fill her with booze till she was compliant to his wants. Often we would get the girl in a cab or off with her friends and cut the guy off before something 'bad' happened.
4: Sexually repressed: I know many on here have roundly dismissed this, but this has to have some merit. First, marital rape. While the exemptions in the law are despicable, there was a time when many marriages themselves were not consensual. You weren't supposed to be adulterous, yet you have a spouse uninterested in you sexually because of the arrangement you were forced into. Many cultures still marry of children etc. A clear example of why love should be free to be practiced without boundaries. Also the practice of a spouse, using sex to control their partner. While raping the spouse may attain power in the relationship, withholding it can similarly change the power balance. That sexual repression may drive an individual to a deranged act. Although inexcusable, very avoidable. Second, the socially outcast. If you are unattractive or extremely socially inept, the very lack of human interaction could drive you quite mad from depression etc, especially with a high sex drive. While this may be a clear example as ever of the usefulness of legal prostitution, some people just don't have any consensual options available to them. Couple that with depression and maybe some substance abuse and you have a powder keg. Third, religious. This is seen in many areas where sex is placed on the altar. Young people are not permitted sexual release at all, no premarital sex, illegal prostitution, masturbation is considered sinful and marriage itself is difficult without finance or elaborate courtship. The fact you can recruit young males so easily to kill themselves by promising polygamist relations in the afterlife, only illustrates why so many women get raped when there is any kind of demonstration or political unrest. Their impulse control is virtually gone at that point
5: Social rapist: I think of the football, basketball teams and frats for example. This would also be a power scenario, but in a different sense. It is not that the individual rapists are looking to assume power over the victim but as to not lose face in view of their peers. They are raping to 'fit' in and gain power and status within the group. To a more criminal extent, street gangs, as it is used for initiations and status within some groups.
6: Leg humpers: This is the prison scenario when it is homosexual with heterosexual individuals. While a small amount of this maybe sexual release, it is primarily a power game where one uses rape to control another. I use the term 'leg humper' because it relates to the way dogs using 'humping' as a gesture of dominance over one another.
7: Narcissist: This is not too far from the casual rapist but more about a lack of empathy versus power. This is a selfish person that believes they deserve sexual release and that someone should give it to them. They have no feeling or understanding of the other persons feelings, only that since it takes two to tango, someone owes them a tango. I would suspect they don't even believe what they did was rape, but merely a well 'earned' sex from hard sales tactics. I suspect they would probably often exhibit other chronic behaviors of feeling they are 'owed' other things as well.
Part 3: Religion
As previously mentioned religion can create a toxic sexual environment. In this thread there has been finger pointing at religious types dismissing the severity of rape. I don't think that it is that they feel rape is acceptable, as many would condemn stranger rape, it is they may see it as necessary. When you create a culture that denies sexuality in all forms, yet it is a natural urge as well as a necessity for procreation, you create a hormonal powder keg wrapped in the paradox of necessary evil (It is a sin with one exception, creation). While that is merely a restatement of a point I brought up before, there is a more sinister element that floats within many religious cultural constructs. There is this definition of the head of the house that pervades through many beliefs. While few advocate the rape of the spouse they preach the inequality of the spousal relationship. If it is not a true partnership, not only does an exercise in power become possible but also a sense of entitlement within that relationship. We in the BDSM community preach consensual submission and Dominance. This is often not the case within religious communities. Defined roles, rules and responsibilities become gospel and as such that warped morality corrupts people who may otherwise be benign.
Part 4: Rape Mitigation:
1: As Aswad has put forth, education. I really liked the idea teaching boys empathy and trying to put them in the shoes of a woman. Such would be good for nearly any crime. Knowing, feeling and understanding the impact on the victim is huge deterrent. Also, teaching girls confidence, and direct communication skills is huge. They should feel control over their bodies, and they shouldn't assume that a man will pick up on subtle hints and denials.
2: Sexual openness would help all around. As a society if we aired our dirty sexual laundry as well as engaged without too many strings attached, we would not only reduce frustration but understand the pathologies associated with it way better. Plus, I think, it would be easier to identify, prevent, and treat negative sexual behavior before it becomes criminal.
3: I see a value in legal prostitution. When you consider how sexual repression fits into some cases of rape, the availability of a sexual partner who does not discriminate, is of huge benefit to society. As a plus, the would be assailant is no longer a taker but someone engaging in a fair trade. The reason for legalization is the same for most laws of this nature, as long as it is illegal, the stigma opens up the user to the rest of the criminal activity that becomes associated with it.
Part 5: Reflection
I think we create some of the conditions that build to these events. Sometimes it is a pathology of the individual. But worst, I don't think we talk about it enough. I have to think that nearly everyone who reads this has likely acted sexually inappropriately towards someone at one time or another. Not rape, just said something offensive, crossed signals and touched someone who didn't want to be touched, or just pressured a partner a little too much. While it may have been innocent like reading the wrong signals, it may also have been due to frustration. We like to boil it down to strictly criminal behavior or an assertion of power because it distinguishes us from some of our improprieties. While that may be the case in many if not all violent and/or forcible rapes, there are some many instances of things going a little too far for everyone. We are sexual beings subject to highly subjective rules and relationships, we need to understand ourselves and others better. We need to communicate better and be more direct. We need to define our actions better so we can eliminate the doubt and punish those who cross that line more swiftly and with better results.
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