quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

quote:

ORIGINAL: evesgrden

Ok.

So could you give an example of exactly what you've said that elicited the response "you're not my dom". That's not to say that their response was appropriate, but if you're getting that repeatedly then somehow what you're saying is being received as direction or criticism.

That's the thing, I don't get this repeatedly (perhaps like 3-4 times out a year)

When is does happen most of the time I blow it off because they are a complete stranger.

However ever so often, it happens with somebody I've been talking with for awhile.
They are a little past being a complete stranger. These rare cases tend to suck.

This magic combination just recently happened. The last time this combination happened
was like two and half years ago.

The issues tend to center over vanilla aspects of the other person's life. The result
of me talking an interest in a person as a whole.

Here's an example of what I'm talking about.

Somebody tells me that they had spent most of the day playing and working on a new song.
Naturally, I'm going to ask. You Play? Play what? New Song? Wow, you write songs?
I'm very much wanting to know a little more. Because I myself Love music.

Now, this should be the result of some amazing conversation? Right?

It's a completely vanilla topic, has nothing to do with BDSM. Should not like be pulling
teeth talking about this stuff. Right?

It's amazing how often I discover the layers of bull-shit talk simply because I'm
wanting to talk about Vanilla stuff. I'm far far from just some horny bastard trying
to get inside somebody's pants. Although I Love sex and I'm extremely sexual.

Anyways, I tried to engage her in a conversation about music. What she used to
record and compose her songs with. Sony Acid, Reaper, FL Studio or what?
Basically what DAW (Digital Audio Workstation) Software she uses.

I was wanting to know, what kind of music she was making genre wise. I was
hoping she'd share some of her recordings with me even.

So, there I was asking some direct questions about what she uses to record
and compose her music with. Which should be normal conversation. She
skirts the questions with a topic change. (warning warning something is a little
off).

I entertain the topic change for awhile, I'm flexible. However, I'm still curious
as to her music/creative sides.

I even go so far to share with her some of my own songs. Even let her know
what DAW software I love using and etc. So I am back at re-engaging this
vanilla topic.

Anyways, she pulled out.. "I just got the Hottest Heels" topic. OKAY, I'll roll
with this vanilla interest. I even have a friend who has a major footwear
fetish.

I actually love checking out pictures of all this amazing and crazy foot
wear. In fact, whenever I encounter an amazing pair of heels online some
where I'll think of her and share on her facebook page or send her a link
in email. This girl used to live 3 doors up from me at one time. Anyways,
I have an interest in Heels too.

I don't think she was expecting for me to equally have an interest in Heels
as I do with Music.

I asked her what kind of Amazing new Hottest Heels there were? and I
was sincerely interested. Brand, Color... and even would love to see
a picture of them. It really should not be a big deal here. A verbal
description nor even a quick snap picture of them. I already had face
pictures of this girl and etc.

It's rather ironic, how all of a sudden there was this amazing silence
and space that happened. I know that life happens, and people don't
get back to you right away because of other things going on.

I'm a big bad mean person. After a few days of clear avoidance tactics
over music and her new heels. I confronted her about it.

I'm not her Dom and she does not have to answer my questions.

She played "You're not my Dom" as the ultimate avoidance tactic.

The reality is that she probably does not write and record her own music,
let alone just get the Hottest Heels ever.

This is why I was prepared to Deep Six things. I suspected if I
keep re-asserting these topics and not simply let them slide by
unanswered.

I guess I'm too much of a pushy bastard. However, these kinds
of topics and conversations... should not be like pulling teeth.

I've occasionally have met somebody less than honest who was bragging
it up about Computer programming, Music or something else. A topic or
interest that I myself have. It's amazing how fast the topic changes
when I attempt to engage them on the subject.

You can literally see the "OH Shit.." expression on their face.
That somebody with a real interest in the shit they were just bragging
about (to make themselves look amazing to other people)
is attempting to engage them in real conversation.

I'm laughing my ass right now. Because only on sites like this..

Does the Dom Card get played as a truth avoidance tactic.

It's one big can of crack me the fuck up. Doms will play this
card to avoid having to deal with the truth. Sub/slaves play this
same stupid card in reverse with "You're not my Dom"... Hahahahaha

The World is in perfect order on sites like this, just with a added
layer of avoidance tactics in the social tool set.

Like I said, I'm a human being first and foremost.

Perhaps I should just work the Big Bad Dom after only Tits and Ass
and getting Laid angle.. and not give a shit about any of this vanilla
stuff. I should keep the conversation, hot and nasty. Simply ignore
talking about vanilla stuff. It's all this vanilla stuff which a lot of
people seem to lie about anyways. LOL

quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl
OP, I peeked at your profile and it said pretty much nothing, so all I have to go on is what I read here. If your approach to the subs is anything like your approach on this thread, I would say that you're pushy. That may be why they're using the "You're not MY Dom" reply.

I honestly can't say I've ever had someone pull that card on me....ever. However, I've had to tell some subs to take it easy, that I'm not THEIR Dom at this point. That surprised me at first, but .

Of course, later in the thread, it sounded like your mini-rant all came from ONE instance. lol lol lol

NBMG

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder
Yeah, so basically a rant and a post for basically nothing.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

Some people literally play this like it is a video game.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

While I certainly understand your position about the phone calls, I find them very useful. I was once talking with someone and when we got on the phone he sounded like Sylvester Stallone on Quaaludes. Trust me, that phone call saved me much time. I just couldn't take someone who spoke like that seriously.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I am happy you ladies found your soul mates without ever seeing them or speaking to them, but if they see my photos then I need to see theirs. Not that it's a guarantee on chemistry, but it gives me an idea of the possibility. same with phone calls.

Now, I have met men who sent old photos and lied about their looks, etc. but that is for another thread.

quote:

ORIGINAL: evesgrden

Let me get this straight.

You made small talk with some woman and she lost interest two and half YEARS AGO, and because of that most recent event, now you're posting about submissives pulling the "I'm not your Dom card

Memo to you: You're carrying a grudge over someone you never met, who had the audacity to not want to pursue things with you.

Put on your big-boy pants and get over it. When something happened that long ago ONLINE it doesn't even belong in high school as a somebody-done-somebody-wrong-song, let alone here.

Amazing how illuminating it can be if you just ask someone for an example. Suddenly all the moral indignation doesn't hold any water.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady
Yes, she does. You don't want to admit it, but that doesn't make it less true.
You also don't like getting your balls busted for being all butt hurt over nothing.