RE: Interaction with others in and out of the lifestyle.

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Interaction with others in and out of the lifestyle.

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Interaction with others in and out of the lifestyle.

Page: << < prev 1 2 3 [4] 5 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Interaction with others in and out of the lifestyle. - 5/20/2013 1:01:18 AM

RemoteUser

Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

Sincerely this site ain't the right place to meet anybody.

And yet I just had my anniversary with my girl - who met me here, not because of my clearly UberDomliness, but because she enjoyed some of my poetry. Since we are about 2,000 miles apart, I don't think stumbling into her for coffee would have been on the list of probable happenings.

That said, enjoy your coffee, and best of luck in your endeavours. If your method works out, all the power to you. Try not to let this frustration of yours dwell; when negativity settles into a person, it doesn't just affect their dating or their sex lives. Life is too short to sit in the grip of bad feelings.

_____________________________

There is nothing worse than being right. Instead of being right, then, try to be open. It is more difficult, and more rewarding.

(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)

Post #: 61

RE: Interaction with others in and out of the lifestyle. - 5/20/2013 3:09:54 AM

SomethingCatchy

Posts: 796
Joined: 7/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RemoteUser

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

Sincerely this site ain't the right place to meet anybody.

And yet I just had my anniversary with my girl - who met me here, not because of my clearly UberDomliness, but because she enjoyed some of my poetry. Since we are about 2,000 miles apart, I don't think stumbling into her for coffee would have been on the list of probable happenings.

That said, enjoy your coffee, and best of luck in your endeavours. If your method works out, all the power to you. Try not to let this frustration of yours dwell; when negativity settles into a person, it doesn't just affect their dating or their sex lives. Life is too short to sit in the grip of bad feelings.

And I married a guy from here and have met plenty of awesome people. Go figure good things happen to people who deserve them

_____________________________

I believe in Invisible Pink Unicorns

Everyone is gay for Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

(in reply to RemoteUser)

Post #: 62

RE: Interaction with others in and out of the lifestyle. - 5/20/2013 4:12:32 AM

evesgrden

Posts: 597
Joined: 6/9/2012
Status: offline

quote:

You also don't like getting your balls busted

He liked it when RS did it. I must be losing my touch.

_____________________________

What you permit, you promote.

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

Post #: 63

RE: Interaction with others in and out of the lifestyle. - 5/20/2013 4:50:31 AM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

Or perhaps we found his actual problem and it is with women in general telling him anything.

(in reply to evesgrden)

Post #: 64

RE: Interaction with others in and out of the lifestyle. - 5/20/2013 5:06:54 AM

chatterbox24

Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

I'm ok with the no photograph thing really. But that guy's voice! Can you imagine talking to someone and all you can think of is them yelling "Adrianne!" sounding like they are Rocky who just went 13 rounds with Apollo? My big thing is that I don't have much of a poker face, so if I were to have met "Rocky" in person, the look on my face could have really hurt his feelings. While I had no interest in him after speaking, I don't really want to hurt people's feelings if I can help it.

wait a minute! Rocky on the phone? Now me I would just cream my jeans, lol. Big dumb sweet sexy muscle meat, yep even the voice would have did it for me.

You all are braver then I was. No picture No meeting. I did that twice. One guy looked like howdy dudey and there was no hiding my OMG look, the other came with a muscle shirt with a rug hanging out in his arm pits and dirty tennis shoes, no socks. SO NO WAY NO WAY, call me superficial but it just wasn't happenin. THERE WAS NO PLEASANT SURPRISE.

_____________________________

I am like a box of chocolates, you never know what variety you are going to get on any given day.

My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

Post #: 65

RE: Interaction with others in and out of the lifestyle. - 5/20/2013 5:48:41 AM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

Forgive my quote trim:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

There's some thing that's running parallel to this recent event,
connects with my not so good attitude too.

This thread is just an ugly piece in a rather frustrating jig saw puzzle.

My ass end is burned from re-entry from the real world, real time back to
this crazy online website.

I'm tired of turning over rocks and stones in the midst of the rubble, looking
for a gem here. This site clearly is not the way to go. It's a waste of time
and energy in fact. This is simply reality.

Yesterday, I went down the better path. One of less stupidity and frustration.
I'm hooking up with somebody for coffee.

I really don't have time to burn on people that treat everything like mere
pixels on a screen, the maze of scammers, the website builder girls,
the webcam girls. People which are 800+ miles away from me.

Sincerely this site ain't the right place to meet anybody. If anything the
results are extremely low for the amount of time and energy you need
to sink into it.

Honestly, this site is one major time pit with awful results. This is just
reality.

Seriously, there is nothing here for me!! I'm not getting anything out of it.

I'm very much looking forward to the coffee date!! :P

Enjoy your coffee date.

If you are not getting anything out of the site then it does seem foolish that you hang around. That is not a commentary on flouncing.
It is just how things are for you.

But your habits of exaggerating your negative experiences and making generalisations are not likely to disappear when you are back in the real world.

There was no 800 mile distance when [my] Master found me here. He lives 20 miles away.
It is true that I had been here for 18 months... but in the meanwhile I met (mostly) some very decent people who were also fairly local to me.
They just weren't "the One".
And the Man who became Master to me, had been here for 3 days.
That was over 4 years ago.

He asked engaging and interesting questions, but he was not pushy.

If you are talking with someone and they appear to back off, likely they just aren't interested in you.
So, you can chalk it up to her not being real, or her spinning stories, or... perhaps she realised that for whatever reason the 2 of you are just not compatible. That makes her no less real than you are.

Not everyone does well with on-line written communication. There is a lot of nuance missing from most on-line communication and both intent and subtext can be very difficult to read.

There are also some people who fail at communicating in the real world, but function well on-line and happily maintain on-line relationships. That sort of thing seems empty to me, but it works for them.

May you find what works for you.
Best wishes.
Edit: grammar

< Message edited by angelikaJ -- 5/20/2013 5:49:27 AM >

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)

Post #: 66

RE: Interaction with others in and out of the lifestyle. - 5/20/2013 1:03:35 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I met The Man on b.com ten years ago. No exchange of pictures because back then I didn't even have a scanner. No cell phones with picture capabilities either. We're still together.

One thing he didn't do was have expectations, nor I for that matter. We talked and liked the way the other thought. So we met for coffee. Which turned into brunch which turned into spending the day together at a state park nearby.

I had gotten mail from guys who had expectations that didn't match mine and I refused any interaction with them. I have to say that if the op is having this problem with all the women he talks to, then the only common denominator is him.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 67

RE: Interaction with others in and out of the lifestyle. - 5/20/2013 1:35:32 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

I don't really come face to face with the "You're not my Dom card", my intolerance for stupidity and bad manners usually filters them out long before we could get that far. However, I see submissives talk about doing that bullshit to other people. Using manners is a great filter. It lets you know who has culture and class verses who the ignorant pigs are.

Attachment (1)

_____________________________

Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 68

RE: Interaction with others in and out of the lifestyle. - 5/20/2013 4:58:51 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

buh bye. Good luck. I have a feeling you will be needing lots and lots and lots of it.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 69

RE: Interaction with others in and out of the lifestyle. - 5/20/2013 5:41:38 PM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

~ Fast Reply ~

I met the Mister on here (the other side) and we'll be celebrating 4 years together this Friday.

We exchanged emails for about a month, shared a picture, talked on the phone for another month, then met in person (first date 4 years ago this weekend).

Neither of us had any expectations those 2 months we were just talking. It was after we met that we decided to start creating a relationship together.

As for "trapped behind a computer screen" - maybe that's how Whip feels, it's certainly not the case here. I'm rarely home - my neighbors are always commenting that they rarely see me. My life is rich and full. Message boarding is a fraction of a percent of my life, and what I do to unwind and relax between my excursions. :)

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 70

RE: Interaction with others in and out of the lifestyle. - 5/20/2013 9:32:38 PM

Whiplashsmile4

Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder
buh bye. Good luck. I have a feeling you will be needing lots and lots and lots of it.

Oooooo... Budda is a very gracious and giving Budda when you rub his belly right.

I've come to the realization, that DomiGuy had it right all along. I actually "Get it"
The true light of the beloved "RaptorJesus".

The Video Game analogy... the Avatar, the Character.. the very embodiment and
meaning behind it. It's the ultimate ascension in the game itself. Pixels on a screen.

I really don't need lots of lots of luck, thank you anyways. :)

_____________________________

Жизнь ума ебет.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUzJI4Palq0

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 71

RE: Interaction with others in and out of the lifestyle. - 5/21/2013 7:20:36 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

well then....happy hunting or whatever it is you do.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)

Post #: 72

RE: Interaction with others in and out of the lifestyle. - 5/21/2013 8:25:52 PM

Marini

Posts: 3629
Joined: 2/14/2010
Status: offline

First of all Whip has been on CM for years, and is often a wonderful contributor to the boards.

{Nice to see you again Whip.}

Whip, I don't like to see you getting your panties in a bunch, because some of us might have a different opinion.
I don't recall you belittling other members before, don't take things so personally.

I myself often wonder when/and who get's to decide when a relationship goes from getting to know you/and becomes more serious.

I think this is an "issue" that many of us on here face.

I agree it is good to meet within a reasonable amount of time, but even meeting is no substitute for putting the time in to get to know someone as well as possible before moving to the next level.

Nice to see you starting threads again, but you have to be nice to the ladies Whippy.
Or I might have to go to PA, and give you a spanking.

< Message edited by Marini -- 5/21/2013 8:27:21 PM >

_____________________________

As always, To EACH their Own.
"And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. "
Nelson Mandela
Life-long Democrat, not happy at all with Democratic Party.
NOT a Republican/Moderate and free agent

(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)

Post #: 73

RE: Interaction with others in and out of the lifestyle. - 5/21/2013 8:35:57 PM

Marini

Posts: 3629
Joined: 2/14/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

That these interactions you take issue with happen online is to me very important. B/c it's been my experience over the last dozen years or so that *many* people just do not take online seriously at all. They behave in ways they would never dreaming of doing in their real time life. They whys of all that I'll leave to the psychologists.

As someone that has been on the internet since 1995, I TOTALLY agree that manners and civility seem to be deteroriating.
Maybe many don't take online "seriously", but many of us DO take being online "seriously".

I really think part of it, is just pretty much anyone and their dog can get online.
Soooooo, glad to see that I am not the only one that feels this way!

But really, I think you need to get your head around the fact that a huge percentage of online interactions are never going to have a positive outcome. Even if the person appears normal for a few hours or days or even weeks. It's the nature of the beast.

If you're serious about finding someone online, you have to develop a system for quickly determining who meets your expectations, b/c online is all about a numbers game.

If someone isn't polite, or can't meet for a convo when they said they would, whatever, it filtered them out. Don't take it personally and move on.

I can normally "get a feeling/clue" if someone is moderately compatable, after about 4-5 conversations.
Asking the right questions, and looking for inconsistencies helps me a lot.

People always show you who they are, it's often a matter of how long it takes you to see who they are.
If you enjoy playing detective, you will be well ahead of the game.
I always wanted to be a detective.
{Shades of reading Nancy Drew I fear}.
I don't care how or where you meet someone, it can take a long time to discover the layers of the person you are dealing with.
Truth be told, you, me and most on here, usually don't show half our cards for a long time.

Jump right into the game, play it well, and on your terms.
Peace

< Message edited by Marini -- 5/21/2013 9:26:53 PM >

_____________________________

As always, To EACH their Own.
"And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. "
Nelson Mandela
Life-long Democrat, not happy at all with Democratic Party.
NOT a Republican/Moderate and free agent

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

Post #: 74

RE: Interaction with others in and out of the lifestyle. - 5/22/2013 12:34:35 AM

Whiplashsmile4

Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

I don't really come face to face with the "You're not my Dom card", my intolerance for stupidity and bad manners usually filters them out long before we could get that far. However, I see submissives talk about doing that bullshit to other people. Using manners is a great filter. It lets you know who has culture and class verses who the ignorant pigs are.

The Great Dos Equis himself shooting down the advance a Gay Dominant Male! LOL
I'm disturbed at the remote thought of the Great Dos Equis being a submissive gay male...

Context and Delivery to a target audience is everything you know ;^) (just saying)

_____________________________

Жизнь ума ебет.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUzJI4Palq0

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 75

RE: Interaction with others in and out of the lifestyle. - 5/22/2013 12:42:03 AM

Whiplashsmile4

Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder
well then....happy hunting or whatever it is you do.

So far, it's going really Amazing!! On day 7 now with it.

_____________________________

Жизнь ума ебет.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUzJI4Palq0

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 76

RE: Interaction with others in and out of the lifestyle. - 5/22/2013 1:45:46 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

The Great Dos Equis himself shooting down the advance a Gay Dominant Male! LOL
I'm disturbed at the remote thought of the Great Dos Equis being a submissive gay male...

Context and Delivery to a target audience is everything you know ;^) (just saying)

Another possible interpretation is that she is saying it to him

_____________________________

Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)

Post #: 77

RE: Interaction with others in and out of the lifestyle. - 5/22/2013 4:48:27 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder
well then....happy hunting or whatever it is you do.

So far, it's going really Amazing!! On day 7 now with it.

I just assumed you were leaving here. But whatever.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)

Post #: 78

RE: Interaction with others in and out of the lifestyle. - 5/22/2013 5:56:17 PM

MasterSadric

Posts: 25
Joined: 8/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

LOL #2 just made me laugh my ass off. Once upon a time, I used to be a bit of a White Knight Rescuer. I never had the I know better than anybody else attitude about it. Still, I would try my damnest at times to be that White Knight. LOL

Now days, when I detect somebody playing the rescue me game.. I don't fall for it.

The other night I was chatting with somebody, who attempted a number of times to play upon my empathy and engage me into White Knight mode! Hahahah.. I actually called them on it!! Please don't attempt to play upon my empathy! I'll ice this stuff down in 2.5 seconds flat anymore. I'll point out their own dumb ass decisions.

I tend RUN away instead of feeling inspired to Rescue anybody. Though I'm certain there's no shortage of guys out to rescue "those kinds of girls". Some of the stories I've heard.... I'm thinking to myself more and more... GOD honey, you truly don't have any common sense in your fucking head and you're dumb as a box full of rocks (really not very attractive qualities). LOL

Though I remember all the Once Upon a times in my past. I learned a lot from those experiences.

I'm a real easy DOM to get rid off... just show me how bad you need rescuing and how screwed up your common sense really is... I'll bolt!!

I learned that same lesson.

This white knight has hung up his armor and shield.

Other words and phrases to get rid of me are....

"Take care of", "can help me..." or "need".

(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)

Post #: 79

RE: Interaction with others in and out of the lifestyle. - 5/22/2013 6:20:44 PM

tsatske

Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline

MasterSadric,
Likewise, I'm turned off y Doms who write me to tell me that I 'need' someone to 'take care of me' and 'make my decisions for me'. No, really, I don't. I want someone willing to take the reigns in our relationship, who I respect enough to willingly submit to. And I have all the time in the world to find him, because, in the mean time, I can make my own decisions just fine.

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

(in reply to MasterSadric)

Post #: 80

Page: << < prev 1 2 3 [4] 5 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Interaction with others in and out of the lifestyle.

Page: << < prev 1 2 3 [4] 5 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.109