What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties?

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What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties? - 5/22/2013 7:45:40 PM

panty20130510

Posts: 3
Joined: 5/9/2013
Status: offline

Hi. Thanks in advance for any input you can give me.

My questions have to do with what happens at a BDSM club/party. I guess my real question is that I'm trying to deduce what my girlfriend has done in these parties. We've been dating for a few months and are already very serious, and she's told me that she was in a BDSM relationship of sorts with a certain guy, years ago, for a few months. She didn't give me details, except that she's into shibari (Japanese form of tying someone up).

I'm terrified, frankly, and really intimidated. Our mutual friend told me last night that my gf and her girlfriend used to go to BDSM clubs/parties, and that they both were somehow involved with this same guy, who was a Dom. Now I'm trying to figure out what it all means. Were they walking around naked, getting whipped in front of a room full of people? Were they getting banged by this guy, or by multiple guys? My mind is racing, and I feel like it's hard to move forward without having some understanding of what this part of her past is like. I just want to know what these relationships are typically like. This is in Los Angeles, if that makes any difference.

I know I could ask her, but she's reluctant to talk about it. Please don't respond with "Just accept it," or "Ask your gf." Any insight you could provide me - for better or worse - would be helpful and sincerely appreciated. Thank you so much for your time.

[mod edit to remove link spam]

< Message edited by VideoAdminChi -- 5/23/2013 7:32:13 AM >

Post #: 1

RE: What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties? - 5/22/2013 7:53:10 PM

Miyani

Posts: 248
Joined: 12/4/2007
Status: offline

How can we possibly know what she did?

(in reply to panty20130510)

Post #: 2

RE: What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties? - 5/22/2013 8:05:22 PM

Delilya

Posts: 4108
Joined: 2/2/2011
Status: offline

What possible difference could her past make? Would knowing make you care for her any less? What would you do if she did indeed do all those things? Would you dump her?

_____________________________

“Love me without fear, trust me without questioning, need me without demanding, want me without restrictions, accept me without changes, desire me without inhibitions"-Dick Sutphen

(in reply to Miyani)

Post #: 3

RE: What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties? - 5/22/2013 8:09:31 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

If you can't deal with her past, then you sure as hell can't move forward.

What you should really be doing is examining why having this information is so important to you.

(in reply to panty20130510)

Post #: 4

RE: What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties? - 5/22/2013 8:10:38 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

OP, can you honestly tell Me what I did last summer? No? Then I can't tell you what your girlfriend did at a BDSM club, either.

You've got a couple of options if you aren't willing to ask her directly. (Personally, I find that to be a lousy approach, but I'm rolling with it.)

One is to check out the club rules of the establishment that she attended and see what the dungeon rules allow. Accept the fact that she could have been doing any of those activities or may have not participated in anything at all.

The other is to go to the interest list on this site and look at every kinky activity and think she may have done any, all, or none of them.

When you are done using your imagination and it puts too much stress in your relationship, maybe then you'll get the courage to ask.

OR, you have some kind of inferiority/cuck/insert random kink here that gets you off on that kind of thing.

Either way, best of luck.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to panty20130510)

Post #: 5

RE: What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties? - 5/22/2013 8:21:45 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

Honestly, there is no way of knowing what your girlfriend used to do at BDSM clubs/parties.

If this is in her past, why are you feeling "terrified" and "intimidated"?

Unless you expected your girlfriend to be a virgin, likely she has had *some* experiences that are outside of what the two of you have done.
If she isn't expressing a need for kink or Dominance and submission dynamics, I don't see the reason for your fears.
Some people like kink as a flavor, and some need it as THE main course.

Presumably she is with you because she likes you and if sexual intimacy is a part of your equation as a couple, my guess is she likes that part as well.

My suggestion to you is to A) read When Someone You Love Is Kinky by Dossie Eaton and Catherine A. Liszt
and B) Try staying out of your girlfriend's head.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

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30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to panty20130510)

Post #: 6

RE: What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties? - 5/22/2013 8:56:14 PM

SeekingTrinity

Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline

~FRing it~

My question is...why should it matter what she used to do before she met you? Obviously you take precautions when you first get with someone, but its the same for vanilla folks as it is for kinky ones. barriers, getting tested for STIs, etc.

I can pretty much guarantee someone somewhere along the way has probably seen her naked...maybe even had sex with her too. We all come equipped with pasts. That includes you too. Should your past matter to her given your current relationship? How is what she did in a BDSM club any more pivotal to your relationship than what she might have done with a boyfriend in the privacy of her own home?

< Message edited by SeekingTrinity -- 5/22/2013 9:02:54 PM >

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 7

RE: What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties? - 5/22/2013 9:04:28 PM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

Dude, your attempt at underhanded advertisement by linking to your sex shop repeatedly is really pathetic.

Especially with this retardedly idiotic a question.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to SeekingTrinity)

Post #: 8

RE: What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties? - 5/22/2013 9:35:06 PM

graceadieu

Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

Dude, your attempt at underhanded advertisement by linking to your sex shop repeatedly is really pathetic.

Especially with this retardedly idiotic a question.

Oh wow, I didn't even catch that. Gotta love SEO strategies.

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)

Post #: 9

RE: What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties? - 5/22/2013 9:42:23 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: panty20130510

I know I could ask her, but she's reluctant to talk about it. Please don't respond with "Just accept it," or "Ask your gf." Any insight you could provide me - for better or worse - would be helpful and sincerely appreciated. Thank you so much for your time.

1. Quit spamming.

2. Get neutered, so you're not tempted.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to panty20130510)

Post #: 10

RE: What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties? - 5/22/2013 9:47:07 PM

AVegasMaster

Posts: 119
Joined: 8/2/2010
Status: offline

A gentleman NEVER tells!!!!

(in reply to panty20130510)

Post #: 11

RE: What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties? - 5/22/2013 9:54:10 PM

freedomdwarf1

Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline

FR~

^^^ All of the above ^^^

(in reply to AVegasMaster)

Post #: 12

RE: What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties? - 5/22/2013 10:13:03 PM

dcnovice

Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline

quote:

What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties?

This is a case for the Silent Stalker app, exclusively for the iPhone 69.

7:18 | Arrived, checked coat.

7:22 | Powdered nose.

7:29 | Chatted with acquaintances, caught up on club gossip.

8:01 | Discussed difficulty of finding twue dominants with fellow subs.

8:24 | Began eating complimentary doughnut.

8:26 | Paused as unknown male said, "I love to see a BBW with a healthy appetite."

8:27 | Threw away remainder of doughnut.

8:29 | Strolled perimeter of play space, attempting eye contact with attractive doms.

8:37 | Spotted young, handsome dom who did not appear to live in his mother's basement.

8:41 | Struck up conversation.

8:43 | Took heart at his apparent eagerness to talk.

8:46 | Learned he was gay and was mainly interested in learning where she'd bought her boots.

8:48 | Told him and moved on.

8:51 | Murmured "Fuck it!" under her breath and got another doughnut.

8:52 | Ate doughnut with a vengeance.

8:57 | Perked up on seeing a former play partner enter the club.

9:02 | Sashayed (slowly so as not to appear overeager) toward him.

9:09 | Exchanged greetings with him.

9:12 | Feigned interest as he showed off new tattoo, depicting Queen Victoria in bondage.

9:15 | Tried to laugh convincingly as he said, "Between my bicep and my dick, I've reunited Victoria and Albert!"

9:17 | At his request, took Android photo of the tattoo for him to post on Facebook.

9:19 | Drew the line at photographing "Albert."

9:23 | Politely disengaged and wandered off.

9:27 | Got doughnut.

Here, alas, the record ends. My phone lost its charge, so no more Silent Stalking that night. Sorry!

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to panty20130510)

Post #: 13

RE: What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties? - 5/22/2013 10:20:39 PM

MasterCaneman

Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline

One free internet to you! That was hilarious.

_____________________________

Age and treachery will always overcome youth and ambition.

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. ~ Sun Tzu

Goddess Wrangler

(in reply to dcnovice)

Post #: 14

RE: What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties? - 5/22/2013 10:30:02 PM

Darkfeather

Posts: 1142
Joined: 3/13/2007
Status: offline

I bet she used to shop at wholesale bdsm dot com with her dom, for all her kinky needs

(in reply to panty20130510)

Post #: 15

RE: What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties? - 5/22/2013 10:55:10 PM

LizDeluxe

Posts: 687
Joined: 10/2/2011
Status: offline

Chinese junk.

Ugh.

(in reply to panty20130510)

Post #: 16

RE: What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties? - 5/22/2013 11:22:15 PM

dcnovice

Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline

quote:

That was hilarious.

Thanks!

I needed the comic relief after a long day.

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to MasterCaneman)

Post #: 17

RE: What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties? - 5/22/2013 11:46:02 PM

ARIES83

Posts: 3648
Status: offline

No need to sugar coat it for the poor man.

Panty,
I'm quite sure...
Shes getting Pounded. Rammed. Ganged... Doing the horizontal conga while people indiscriminately blitzkrieg her luftwaffe...
You have my condolences.

And stop advertising.

_____________________________

530 DAYS

(in reply to dcnovice)

Post #: 18

RE: What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties? - 5/23/2013 12:04:56 AM

Toysinbabeland

Posts: 1693
Joined: 3/4/2012
From: the other end of Cx's leash
Status: offline

She had her penis removed.

That's what they do.

She's much better this way you know.

(in reply to ARIES83)

Post #: 19

RE: What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties? - 5/23/2013 12:06:53 AM

Toysinbabeland

Posts: 1693
Joined: 3/4/2012
From: the other end of Cx's leash
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dcnovice

quote:

What did my gf do at BDSM clubs/parties?

This is a case for the Silent Stalker app, exclusively for the iPhone 69.

7:18 | Arrived, checked coat.

7:22 | Powdered nose.

7:29 | Chatted with acquaintances, caught up on club gossip.

8:01 | Discussed difficulty of finding twue dominants with fellow subs.

8:24 | Began eating complimentary doughnut.

8:26 | Paused as unknown male said, "I love to see a BBW with a healthy appetite."

8:27 | Threw away remainder of doughnut.

8:29 | Strolled perimeter of play space, attempting eye contact with attractive doms.

8:37 | Spotted young, handsome dom who did not appear to live in his mother's basement.

8:41 | Struck up conversation.

8:43 | Took heart at his apparent eagerness to talk.

8:46 | Learned he was gay and was mainly interested in learning where she'd bought her boots.

8:48 | Told him and moved on.

8:51 | Murmured "Fuck it!" under her breath and got another doughnut.

8:52 | Ate doughnut with a vengeance.

8:57 | Perked up on seeing a former play partner enter the club.

9:02 | Sashayed (slowly so as not to appear overeager) toward him.

9:09 | Exchanged greetings with him.

9:12 | Feigned interest as he showed off new tattoo, depicting Queen Victoria in bondage.

9:15 | Tried to laugh convincingly as he said, "Between my bicep and my dick, I've reunited Victoria and Albert!"

9:17 | At his request, took Android photo of the tattoo for him to post on Facebook.

9:19 | Drew the line at photographing "Albert."

9:23 | Politely disengaged and wandered off.

9:27 | Got doughnut.

Here, alas, the record ends. My phone lost its charge, so no more Silent Stalking that night. Sorry!

I just laughed so hard the milk went through my nose.

(in reply to dcnovice)

Post #: 20

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